by Ciz, Alley
“Potato, vodka.”
I groan. “Not you too.”
“Sorry.” Jordan’s expression says she’s anything but. “Jase spends a lot of time with Vince, and I spend a lot of time with Jase. Some of the ridiculous stuff manages to stick.”
This is true. I haven’t even been able to look at a French fry without thinking of Jase. The jerk ruined one of my favorite foods for me.
Thank god pizza wasn’t our running joke, otherwise I would have been forced to move. A person can’t live in the city with the best pizza—and yes, New York has better pizza than Chicago, no matter what Tucker likes to say—without being able to eat it.
“But yeah…social media is a big part of my job. I pay attention more than your aver—” Her eyes go as wide as spotlights.
“Jordan?”
There’s a beat of silence. Then, “My fucking water just broke.”
“Say what now?”
I am so not equipped to handle this. And won’t her doctor be in Jersey?
“Dammit, Logan. I told you this morning you needed to wait until later to come. I’m trying to get you an aunt here.”
Um…
What?
Then it hits me—Jordan’s talking to the baby, not me.
Wait…did she say aunt?
It’s too much.
“Please tell me you drove into the city today and didn’t take a train?” I plead, not sure how one handles one’s ex-boyfriend’s twin sister going into labor.
“I did.” She pulls her phone from her purse. “But my contractions are too close together. I would never make it to Jersey before this sucker is born.”
“Your water just broke.”
Does birth happen that fast?
“I know, but I’ve been having contractions all morning.”
“WHAT?!” Probably shouldn’t shout at pregnant women, but hello!
Who does this?
“They weren’t that close together.” She waves me off like it’s normal for people to cross state lines when in the beginning stages of labor. “I was more annoyed dealing with Jase and his moping than anything else.”
“You’re insane. You do know that, right?”
Another brushoff and she pulls out her phone. “Hey, babe.”
Good, she called Jake.
“So, um…” Guilty eyes turn my way. “Looks like your son doesn’t want to wait and is coming before the puck drop.” A wince. “Yeaaaah…about that.” A grimace. “I’m in the city.”
Jake’s shout is so loud I hear it across the room.
“Yes I know. I’m sorry, okay. I’ll make it up to you in six weeks when I can have sex again, but can we focus on what’s important here?”
I look around the room. For what, I’m not sure. All I know right now is if Jordan is this nuts, it can’t bode well for the person she shared a womb with for nine months. Or for me, for that matter, because I’m the idiot who’s still in love with him. Who cares that I never told him?
“I know, babe. Look…New York Presbyterian isn’t super far from here.” Jordan looks my way again as she listens to whatever her husband is saying. I can only imagine what it is. “No, I’m not alone. Mels is with me. You just worry about getting here as fast as possible.”
Wait? Does she think I’m…
“I don’t know. Call Justin—see if he can bring you in a cruiser. He can put the lights on.”
Can we maybe go back to the part where she said she’s with me and discuss what that means, please?
“He’ll totally do it, and just to be sure, I’ll text Madz. The girls and dogs are already with your mom. All you have to do is grab the hospital bag and make it to me before I push your impatient son out of Tuckahoe Fun Land.”
“Um…?” I bite my nail, not sure how to articulate what I’m trying to ask as Jordan disconnects the call.
“Jake and I bonded over our love for How I Met Your Mother when we first got together. I figured a little HIMYM humor was needed at the moment,” Jordan explains, reading my mind.
“So when you said Mels is with me, you meant…”
“That you would be the one holding my hand until Jake can get here.” She holds up a hand before I can ask my next question. “And by ‘hold my hand’”—she puts air quotes around the words—“I mean I’ll squeeze yours painfully tight until the drugs are in my system and I’m feeling no pain. Joys of childbirth my ass. Give me all the drugs.”
I focus on gathering my things and not the tears that are threatening to spill.
This might be the most ridiculous, crazy, couldn’t-make-it-up-if-I-tried situation ever, but it only drives home the fact that Jase isn’t the only one I lost.
Chapter Forty-Five
All our lives, JD and I have always been able to sense when something is wrong with the other.
Broke my arm playing roller hockey in third grade—JD brought Mom to the outdoor rink before anyone could call her.
When JD’s appendix was close to bursting in seventh grade, I was the one who convinced Dad she should probably go to the hospital.
When Ryan and I snuck out for the hockey team’s prank night freshman year of high school and were almost caught by the cops? Yup, you guessed it, JD was there to create a distraction so we could get out before that happened.
And when JD had nightmares after her douchemonkey ex-boyfriend, Tommy, went after her, I woke up no matter how late and called her.
So when I spend the end of practice with a rock in my gut, the first thing I do when I get back to the locker room is call her. I shoot her a text when she doesn’t answer.
THE BIG HAMMER: Checking in? You okay?
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: What makes you ask?
THE BIG HAMMER: Well you are in your 22nd month of pregnancy and all *pregnant emoji*
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: *middle finger emoji* I’m 9 months pregnant, you dick. I’m not an elephant—even if I feel like one most days.
THE BIG HAMMER: *GIF of an elephant rolling in mud*
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: OMG I hate you so much.
THE BIG HAMMER: No way! I’m your favorite brother.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: That’s debatable.
THE BIG HAMMER: But for real. Is everything good? I’ve felt off for a while.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Well, knowing this is going to drive Ryan nuts *laughing face emoji* It’s funny that you ask…
THE BIG HAMMER: *voice memo of Jase saying, “Jordan.”*
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Ooo a voice memo and my real name.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: *GIF of the Joker asking, “Why so serious?”*
THE BIG HAMMER: And you wonder why I can’t ever be serious?
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: *memoji of Jordan shrugging*
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Also…I totally love these things ^^
THE BIG HAMMER: Jordan Danielle Donovan used to be Donnelly, don’t make me come to Jersey.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Yeah…about that. Funny thing…
THE BIG HAMMER: ??
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: I’m kinda…
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Sorta…
THE BIG HAMMER: OMG STOP texting like Becky.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: I’m in the city. At New York Presbyterian, to be exact.
THE BIG HAMMER: WHAT?!
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Calm your shouty capitals. I’m fine. I’m just in labor. That’s all.
THE BIG HAMMER: THAT’S ALL?!
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: What did I say about your shouty capitals?
“Um…bro?” Cali asks as we store our stuff in his Maserati.
I pull my focus from my phone and the overwhelming urge to commit sororicide. “What?” There’s a little more bark to my tone than Cali deserves. Whatever—I blame JD and her cavalier attitude.
“Wanna tell me what’s up with this?” He holds out his phone so I can see the text thread on the screen.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Hey Cali, can you pull the hockey stick out of my wombmate’s ass and drop him off at NY Pres on your way home from practice?
Cali shrugs and climbs into the sports car. “Okay then. Let’s go meet our nephew.”
Chapter Forty-Six
From the Group Message Thread of The Coven
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Is it wrong that I pretty much forced Melody to accompany me to the hospital?
MAKES BOYS CRY: What exactly do you mean by “forced?”
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: Like you dragged her in by her hair?
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: Or was it more like Look Who’s Talking-style where Kirstie Alley made John Travolta be there for her?
PROTEIN PRINCESS: To be fair…in LWT John Travolta kinda got suckered into being there for Kirstie Alley because the hospital staff assumed he was the father.
ALPHABET SOUP: OMG how cool would it be if we could hear our babies’ internal monologues like in that movie?
ALPHABET SOUP: *GIF of baby Mikey in Look Who’s Talking laughing*
QUEEN OF SMUT: *GIF of girl smiling and clapping excitedly*
QUEEN OF SMUT: But it would have to be Bruce Willis who did it, just like in LWT because, hello, he was a McClane (I’ll forgive the spelling).
THE OG PITA: Anyone else feeling like we need to have a Look Who’s Talking double feature movie night?
MAKES BOYS CRY: I’m in
QUEEN OF SMUT: *hand raised emoji*
ALPHABET SOUP: Me too. And Jor, remember: get the drugs.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Yeah, there’s not a CHANCE I’d be forgetting that.
SANTA’S COOKIE SUPPLIER: Um…am I the only one wondering what you’re doing texting us while you’re in labor?
MAKES BOYS CRY: Madz may be our Queen of Smut, but we all know Jor’s other text handle could be Multitasking Queen.
ALPHABET SOUP: Preach *praise hands emoji*
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Plus some things are too important to let the future murder of my vagina get in the way of.
ALPHABET SOUP: *GIF of woman spitting out water*
ALPHABET SOUP: ^^you just made me do this.
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: Yeah, and thanks for that.
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: Now Gem is bitching about water being all over the dash of her car.
THE OG PITA: It was funny at least.
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: Except now she’s giving us major side-eye since her car is reading her texts for her as she drives.
QUEEN OF SMUT: Jor, I hope you know I heard your husband say maybe he should call the hospital and tell them NOT to give you the drugs for being in the city in the first place.
MAKES BOYS CRY: Oooo, someone is trying to land himself in the dog house.
SANTA’S COOKIE SUPPLIER: You would think they would know by now we text each other everything. I mean I’ve only been a part of the group for a few months and I do.
ALPHABET SOUP: Oh, those be fighting words. Don’t worry, Jor. Next time he comes to me to fix him in the offseason, I’ll remind him of this by showing him the screenshot I just took of Maddey’s text.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: I love you.
ALPHABET SOUP: *GIF of girl thumping her chest saying, “I got you.”*
THE OG PITA: Anyone else still wondering why Jordan has “forced” Jase’s ex-girlfriend to play midwife?
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Oh, yeah. That’s right. Thanks for reminding me why I texted to begin with.
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Long story short…I was sick of Jase moping around and waiting for him to pull his head out of his ass and fix his mistake. I thought it was time for a twin-tervention.
MAKES BOYS CRY: You were watching HIMYM last night, weren’t you?
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: You know it. But so yeah, Melody is here and Jase is on his way. I just hope you guys get here before he shows up because I’m going to need some help getting them together so they can talk. Since you know…I’ll be stuck in a hospital bed and all.
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: *GIF of witches laughing around a caldron*
Chapter Forty-Seven
Jordan has been acting cagey since we got to the hospital, but I chalk it up to her being in labor. It can’t be comfortable having a tiny human trying to make its way out of your body.
Aside from Jake, she hasn’t called anyone else, but the amount of time she has spent texting has a chorus line of nerves dancing in my stomach.
The last thing I need is to be here when Jase shows up. There’s no doubt in my mind that he will be here at some point. Jordan is his sister, his twin—where else would he be when she is about to give birth to his nephew?
I want to see him.
My heart yearns, aches for the briefest glimpse of him.
But…
I don’t think I could handle seeing him.
There’s a very real chance I would break down and start begging on sight. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I’ve lost count of the number of text messages I’ve sent him, and every single one has been ignored.
The nights I can’t sleep—which is most of them—I’ve stared at the open message thread, all blue bubbles of my words and none of the gray of his.
Those three little dots that tell me he’s typing have made an appearance multiple times—hope soaring every time they do—but nothing ever comes from it.
What was he going to say?
Why doesn’t he say it?
Is it wrong that I’m taking solace in the fact that he at least hasn’t blocked me?
My head pounds and I feel nauseous. Jordan’s the one getting ready to push a watermelon out of a hole not meant for something so large and yet I’m the one who’s shaking like I’ve been volunteered as tribute.
Distraction. Yes, I need a distraction.
“Can I…” My words trail off, not really sure what to ask or if I even should.
Hazel eyes I’m well acquainted with turn my way. The strain that was around them has eased now that the epidural has taken effect. “You want to know how and when I figured out Nate Bishop was your brother?”
It is really freaky how she is able to read my mind.
“Yes please.” My voice is small, none of the strength I’ve trained all my life to cultivate to be heard in the back of a theater present.
“You have a pretty distinctive hair color.” Her gaze flits to my hairline, and only now do I realize I’m still wearing my Marilyn wig. Reaching up, I slide it off my head, worrying the platinum blonde curls in my hands.
“It was easy to recognize you in the posts your brother has of the two of you.”
Both Nate and I try to keep our private lives off of social media, with one notable exception. Even before Facebook and Instagram were a thing, we had a tradition. Every time I was in a show—whether in the chorus or as a lead—Nate and I took two pictures together the first time he came to see it: one with me in full costume beforehand and another afterward in street clothes.
There’s another pang in my chest. Will our tradition still continue?
“I’ve blocked all of Nate’s social media accounts from Jase to keep the drama down as much as possible. Except for the things that trickle in from others, Jase doesn’t see any of your brother’s daily posts.”
“I wish I’d paid more attention to their rivalry these last couple of years. If I had, I might know what the real issue is, but I’ve always stayed on the outside, not wanting to get involved.”
Jordan sighs, shifting around on the bed, probably seeking a comfortable position. “I’m not sure how much that would have helped. If your brother is anything like mine—”
“A tight-lipped, immature asshole at times?”
“Exactly.” She chuckles.
Why are boys so dumb? This isn’t high school. We’re too old for this kind of petty drama—and that’s coming from a drama major.
“I’ve tried to get Jase to give me the details, but he straight-up refuses to talk about it. Do you think you could get it out of Nate?”
I shake my head. “Doubtful. Right now he�
��s not even taking my calls. He’ll only text, and that’s rare too.” I blink back the tears building behind my eyes. This is not the time for a pity party. As soon as Jake shows up, I have to get back to rehearsal. I can wallow in all my bad choices later.
The door to the hospital room is pushed open and I’m ready to fall to my knees in gratitude, but when he steps into the room, I almost go down for an entirely different reason.