by Aven Jayce
“Then why did you scream this morning? What were you afraid of? And look at your stomach.”
“I was confused, that’s all.” She looks down. “And my stomach doesn’t hurt. It’s barely even a cut. You’re terrible at this. Seriously, I bet Dayne is downstairs and tied to a chair because you’re too much of a loser to take anyone down.”
“Is that so? You’re still in denial of everything?”
“I’m still here, aren’t I? I know you’re just fucking with me, so just untie me now instead of later.”
“Bitch.” I walk down to my kitchen, rummage through my cabinets, grab a container of salt, and stomp back upstairs. My sport jacket gets hung on the bedpost, my sleeves rolled, and my gun out of my shoulder holster and placed on the dresser. “I’m actually quite good at what I do,” I say, putting the tape back over her mouth and taking out my knife. I pull a chair over to her side and drag the blade along her flesh. Her eyes widen then scrunch shut when I reopen the shallow wounds. “You’re right, the cuts probably didn’t hurt, but they sure as fuck will now.” Taking the salt container from my jacket pocket, I pour some inside of each slice then sit back and watch her squirm with muffled cries. I’ll keep my sister’s words in my head and try my best not to kill her, but she certainly isn’t making it very easy not to.
“Fuck Mera, you’re a guest here, you don’t have to be so fucking rude.” I pick up my gun and jacket and walk out, needing to change and get high before Jules arrives.
With music playing in my bedroom, my back door open, and a joint in hand - I take a hit, admiring my property and the towering pines. Water splashes in the pool and a chilly breeze runs across my face. It’s much colder tonight than it was yesterday and I’m hoping the muddy ground is frozen. It will make the walk through the woods a hell of a lot easier.
“Inhale deeply, Mark,” I whisper, closing my eyes... not referring to the pot. I smell winter moving in, pine needles, and burning wood. “Breathe in again and relax before you make your decision.”
Swimmers continue to kick in the heated pool and I swear I can feel water land on my nose from their fun. But then more cold drops melt on my eyelashes and cheeks.
It’s snow.
I keep my eyes closed, feeling it, letting it wet my face as the sun sets for the day. I want it to touch me, coat me... shit, I’m fucking stoned.
I open my eyes and grin, watching the white flakes float down and melt as soon as they touch the ground. The area probably won’t get a significant amount until November, but the first sight of it alters my mood. Winter at my hotel is grand with an overabundance of lights, soft holiday music, and plenty of tourists coming in from California and Nevada to ski. It makes me feel like I own a chalet in the Swiss Alps, with chestnuts roasting in the fireplace of my lobby and hot chocolate... okay, that’s enough pot for now.
Fuck, but it is beautiful out here.
“Hey.” Jules voice is gentle and mimics the snow, floating through the air and melting against my flesh. She looks different tonight, relaxed, happy, dressed in jeans and a furry long-sleeve black sweater. Her hair is dried and her makeup light and natural. She might’ve sensed we’ll be going outdoors.
I raise my arm and she immediately burrows against my side, enjoying the warmth and the scenery, but declining my offering of pot. I put the snuffed out joint in my pocket and kiss the top of her head, lingering over her clean hair before lifting my head toward the woods.
“It’s pretty,” she says.
“Yeah, I can’t think of a better place to be right now.”
Her hand slides under my shirt, slowly circling and caressing my back. “Did you figure out the cars?”
I nod. “Two people will be here tomorrow. I just need to give them instructions when they arrive, talk to my guy in Vegas for the delivery, and that problem is solved.”
“And you called Jack?”
“I did, and as you suggested, I asked him why he was drinking last night, not how much.”
“And?”
“His girlfriend dumped him. He has a teenage broken heart which is something I know very little about.”
“But you talked to him, right?”
“The best I could.”
She laughs, “Poor kid.”
“Let’s not discuss my son right now. It was another shitty conversation and I don’t want that part of my life to change my mood. Just enjoy a minute alone with me.”
She gazes at the tall pines, and smiles at the snow, taking it in her hand and watching it melt. “What are you listening to? It’s sort of eerie.”
“It’s called In The Pines, a very old recording that’s been my smoking song since I built this place. Eerie, yes, especially since I have it on repeat, but just listen, the lyrics are hypnotizing, especially with the low downhearted tone in the singer’s voice... and the acoustic guitar and the bass together... it’s a moody, lonely song that for some reason makes me feel calm and in control.”
Her eyes remain closed as she leans into me and listens. I hum the instrumental part then sing softly into her ear...
Little girl, little girl, where will you go?
I’m going where the cold wind blows
In the pines, in the pines, where the sun never shines
I will shiver the whole night through.
Look up, look down that lonesome road
Hang down your head and cry
If you love me as I do you
Would you go with me or die.
“The voice is gorgeous.”
“That it is... like a woman I know.”
She blushes and shakes her head.
“What? Just look at this scene.” I raise my hands. “Inhale it, feel it, hear it, remember this... I’m trying to be romantic, for fuck’s sake.”
She laughs and kisses my cheek. “I know; it’s just amusing that not too long ago I had to beg for a kiss. You’re funny sometimes... maybe it’s because you’re high again.”
I shrug.
“But I like it,” she whispers.
“Well, that’s all you get for now,” I say, pulling her inside. “The sun’s down, let’s take care of the bedroom situation.”
“What are you doing with her?”
“Do you have comfortable shoes with you?”
“Yes, sneakers, downstairs.”
“We’re going on a short hike,” I say, putting on a fleece sweater and my baseball cap. “You have a warm jacket? Gloves? A hat?”
“I’ll get some from my room.” She heads for the stairs. “Don’t leave without me.”
“I won’t, but hurry up, we have a lot of shit to do, especially down in the garage before the guys come for the cars. I still haven’t picked up the tongue.”
“This is exciting!” she exclaims, before exiting my suite.
“Yep, I’ll make the popcorn.” I grin, putting my two guns in their holsters, bringing a knife along, and the keys for the handcuffs. I turn out the lights in my bedroom and get Mera into an upright position, shoot her with K, then carry her to the garage. I nearly fall down the two flights from her weight and fidgeting, still waiting for the drug to kick in. Damn, this will be an exhausting jaunt. It’s times like these when I wish I had a wheelbarrow.
I slip into my winter coat and wait for Jules, watching the pathetic bulky mass on the cold cement floor. She sees the blood, the body part, her truck, and groans. But with slowed movements as she slips into a paralyzed state, I’m able to take off the cuffs and dress her in one of my old flannel shirts that’s in the garage... not that I give a shit that she’ll be cold, but so I don’t have to deal with her flesh and blood against my clothing.
Her eyes stay open, zoned out on the bloody scene.
“Don’t worry, it’s not Dayne’s blood. His was wiped up last week. That’s just some random fuckhead from last night.”
“All set,” Jules says, entering the garage.
“Carry the flashlight and the rope that’s on my workbench; I won’t be able to hold either toni
ght. And I also need you to take one of my guns.”
“Why?”
“Bears.”
She nods, following my requests as I open the garage door. “Close it once you’re out, stick by my side, keep the gun out, and make sure you don’t turn on the light until I tell you too, got it?”
“Got it.”
We walk to the side of my garage and head into the darkness. The snow has stopped and the moon is out, but the dense pines block most of the light. Mera’s silent, Jules is silent, and the woods are still. Branches snap under my boots and I sink into the thick layers of pine needles. I can see my breath and can feel the chill on my open neck. I’m beginning to feel my usual rush with Mera’s body over my shoulder, her cold lifeless dangling legs in front of me; it’s an interesting juxtaposition to the vibrant woman by my side.
I can imagine if Norman Rockwell was fucked in the head that this would be a fascinating painting for him to create. A man dressed in a winter outfit and cap carries a woman’s body through the forested pines. With his faithful sidekick alongside, they travel under the moonlit sky on the first snowfall. The only thing missing is an axe and a dog.
“What are you thinking about?” she whispers.
“Norman Rockwell.”
“What the fuck? Be serious.”
“Turn on the light.” I ignore her response. “This is where the land gets rocky and is difficult to walk.”
She shines the light on the ground in front of me, moving it in a circular motion, saying “watch out,” when she sees something I might trip over.
There’s no trail, no flagged trees, all I have to lead the way is a gut feeling and an idea of where I was last night. But I’ll know when I come to the right place. Like in Vegas and out on the lake, I’d drive and then something inside of me would tell me to stop. I never continue on after that, the first thought to stop is always the correct one.
“These woods go on forever.”
“Yep, that’s why I bought this property. You can see the lake and the populated area from parts of the hotel, but there’s nothing but miles of woods off to this side.” I lean against a tree, taking deep breaths.
“Do you know where your property stops and the National Forest begins?”
“Only when I look at a map, but it’s all uninhabited so it doesn’t much matter if we’re on my property or not... keep the light up,” I say, trekking onward.
“Sorry.” She shines it a few feet ahead, maintaining a steady hand as she stays by my side. “Why didn’t you kill her before we left?”
“Because I kill people the way they deserve to be killed. It’s not always a jab in the eye and it’s over. It depends on the person, what I know about his personality, and why I’m killing him in the first place. Over there,” I point, “that’s the spot for Mera.”
There’s a lone tree that I place her by in a small clearing with a creek about twenty feet away. The light of the moon breaks through the open area, shining upon her face.
“She looks like she’s on stage.”
“I know, this is the perfect setting for her,” I say. “Hand me the rope.”
I remove the cuffs from her ankles and wrists and loop the rope around her and the tree, tying a reliable knot - making sure her legs, arms, and waist are all secure. She’s coming to, mumbling and turning her head.
“You have something you want to tell me?” I ask, pulling the tape from her mouth.
Her eyes are half-open as she tries to speak. “Cold... fucker.”
Jules laughs. “Do you think she called you a cold fucker, or said she’s cold and then called you a fucker?”
“Probably the first.” I smirk.
“Motherfucker,” she utters.
“That was clear. Hey, Calloway.” I tap the side of her face. “This is it. Your final resting place. Sorry, there’s no cable or room service, but you do have a beautiful view.”
“What do you mean this is it? You’re just leaving her here to starve?”
“She won’t starve.”
Mera looks at Jules and shakes her head, in disbelief that she fell for her trap.
“Hi,” Jules says.
“Sarah,” she groans. “Bitch.”
“It’s Jules and I don’t give a shit if you think I’m a bitch, bitch. You kidnapper, abuser, torturer, evil wench, cunt rag... hey, what are you doing?” she asks, distracted as I unzip my jeans.
“I’m not sucking... you off,” Mera mumbles.
“Fuck,” I laugh. “I don’t want your filthy mouth on my dick, especially after it’s been on Dayne’s.” A pool of urine forms at her feet, leaving a strong odor in the air. “I’m ringing the dinner bell.” I turn back to Jules with a grin. “She won’t be alive long enough to starve. A bear will eat her by morning.”
“You asshole,” she calls out, coming quickly to life. Jules moves in, putting the tape back over her mouth.
“You see that area over there?” I take the flashlight and shine it down by the creek, about a hundred feet from where we’re standing. “What do you see?” I wave it left and right.
“Trees, the water, same as here.”
“Yep, exactly.”
“I don’t get it.”
“That’s where I stopped last night.”
“You mean with the guy? He’s already gone?”
“The bears are preparing to hibernate this time of the year and are very active, eating twenty hours a day. This is like a food court for them. You’ve got the watering hole,” I shine the light on the creek, “with the growth along the banks, this open area, and a guy like me giving them free handouts. They’re drawn to this place.”
Mera kicks, refusing to surrender to her fate while yielding muffled screams. I lean next to her and give her some friendly advice. “Shh, shh, listen. If you stay silent they’ll walk right past you, unless they pick up a whiff of my piss, then you’re fucked... hmm.” I scratch my head, being a total ass and loving every minute of it. “I’ve heard they have the best sense of smell out of any animal on this earth, so yeah, F-U-C-K-E-D.” I taunt her by patting the top of her head. “There’re mountain lions out here too, so be very, very quiet tonight. They creep, so you won’t know when one’s going to strike... but in a flash it will latch onto your skull and puncture your brain or crush your trachea. Dead. But hey, I have an idea, let’s play a game, you and me. See this?” I pull out one of my old knives and set it in the ground, just out of range of her feet. “We’re leaving you here, but if you can figure out a way to get to the knife, you may be able to get out of this shitty situation you’ve found yourself in.”
I take one last look at the moon before reaching for Jules’ hand, wanting more than anything to get her back to my suite so we can fuck.
“You’re really not going to kill her?” she asks, taking the flashlight from my hand.
“I did kill her.”
“What if she gets away?”
“She won’t.”
“What if...”
“Jules, do you have the gun?”
“Yes.”
“Keep the light steady, okay?” I distract her, not wanting to discuss the fact that I did this partly for my sister, and partly because I’m a pussy and can’t bring myself to kill a woman. A man? No fucking problem killing a guy, but I think a lot of bad shit would happen if I ever stuck my knife inside a woman’s flesh. Like the devil would appear and shove his dick down my throat... or... or my father would finally tell me that he loved me.
I stop and think about that for a moment.
“What’s up?” Jules turns and asks.
The woods turn even darker and colder than before. I sense his presence looming around us, suffocating me, mocking me because I just walked away from a kill. Looking back, I wonder if I need to finish this.
“Mark, what’s wrong?”
My body trembles. I feel like I’m eight, being slapped around and told that I’m a pussy, wanting to fight back but too small to beat him. If only I could’ve killed the f
ucker in his sleep when I was a kid.
And I wonder again, would he tell me that he loved me if I go back and kill her? Would the voice in my head be silenced? That’s what I search for with each kill, and maybe this is the one.
“You okay?” she whispers with a gentle touch to my arm.
“Only sometimes,” I reply.
She nods like she understands, but she knows nothing about my father.
“Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Changing the past, or if a choice in the present could change your perception of the past.”
“I don’t believe that’s possible.”
“I know this is a common question, but what would you change about your life? Your past?”
She looks down and shuffles her feet, digging into the pine needles with the toe of her sneaker until she reaches the soil. “Not much. I would’ve gone to school for something that would’ve given me a more stable income, and of course, I never would’ve gone out with Roland, but there wouldn’t be many extreme changes besides those... I probably wouldn’t have colored my hair dark auburn back in middle school, that was a bad idea, especially with my light eyebrows... if you’re wondering about meeting you and my life now, I wouldn’t change any of that. I can’t think of much else.” She puts the light under my chin, illuminating my face in the darkness. “What about you? What would you do differently?”
“I’d kill my father.”
I say those words like they were shot out of a cannon, an explosive charge that hits her face and explodes. The light turns off and we’re both silent until I feel an urge to repeat it.
“I’d kill him when I was a child, not as an adult. I’d stop him before he slipped out of our lives so he could never reappear years later. He should’ve been my first kill.”
She’s quiet, but remains by my side as Mera’s muffled cries echo into the night. The light shines down to the tree, over the knife, to the creek then to the forest ahead of us.
“Stay here,” I whisper.
“What?”
“I’ll be right back.”
“What are you doing?”
“Something that stays within my family. Don’t move an inch. Don’t turn on the light, just stand and wait. Give me three minutes.”