“And what are we going to do with that?” Daphne asked, looking more frustrated than ever.
“Maybe you can make a banner? I don’t know. You’re a girl. You’re supposed to be creative and crafty, right?”
“Seriously?” Daphne narrowed her eyes at him.
“Uh, we’ll figure something out.” Hangman set the roll to the side of the box and reached back in. This time his hands came out grasping some scissors, tape, and a roll of twine.
Daphne smiled. “I think I have an idea. Can you get some paint?”
“No problem,” Hangman replied as a sly grin spread over his face.
***
Finn stretched his arms long over his head well before he was ready to open his eyes. When he did, he rubbed them lazily and scanned the dark room he shared with the other boys. It was empty, but somebody had left the lantern lit for him. He wondered how long he’d been sleeping. It had been a late night. After he spent nearly three hours reflecting by the lake and drinking half the bottle of whiskey, he’d followed through with his plan to plant the weed in Professor Vermin’s office. Then he snuck into the Lily’s house to leave a note instructing her to send an anonymous email to the local police department. By the time he’d returned to the cellar he’d sworn it was nearly sunrise already.
The aromatic blend of Daphne’s sweet scent and bug spray lingered on his shirt, bringing back memories of the kiss. He needed to change it, but didn’t want to give up the smell. He’d hurt her last night, that much he knew. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. They weren’t supposed to fall for each other. That was not part of the game. But he had fallen for her. And even after hours of drinking and contemplating, he still didn’t know what to do about it.
One thing he did know, though, was that he needed to apologize. No matter what had happened, or what might happen in the future, he couldn’t let her leave, at least not yet. There was still work to be done. And, deep down, he didn’t want her to hate him.
When he’d arrived in the cellar Finn stood in the entrance. His jaw dropped. The room looked like the remnants of a crazy, drunk, high school keg party. The entire room had been toilet papered from floor to ceiling in methodical inverted arches. At each point where the arches connected was a large brown paper starburst or flower, he couldn’t quite tell the difference. Hangman and Shag were busy hanging more up along the walls closest to Finn. Daphne and Toot were kneeling on the floor holding paintbrushes dripping with yellow and red.
“What the . . .” Finn couldn’t even finish. He’d never seen anything like this before. It was incredible.
Daphne turned to look at him, but said nothing before returning to her work. Her face was devoid of emotion. It’s too late, he thought. Hangman dropped a paper starburst and approached Finn.
“What do you think?”
“This is for Lily’s party?”
Hangman nodded.
“This is awesome!” Finn beamed.
“Daffy, is the banner done yet?” Hangman called out.
“Almost. It’ll need a few minutes to dry.” Daphne put the finishing touches on the “Y” and stood up, stretching her legs. She reached her arms up, arching her back, lengthening the stretch. As she did, her blouse lifted, revealing a thin strip of midriff. Finn couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Hey, Finn?” Hangman waved a hand in front of Finn’s face to gain his attention.
“Yeah, sorry.”
“Did you do it?”
“Do it?”
“Yeah, you know the—” Hangman cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed like a police siren.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did. I went with the pot plan. The poison seemed too risky.” That caught Daphne’s attention. He smiled briefly at her, but she did not return it. Turning back to Hangman, “Have you heard anything yet?”
“No, but we’ve all been down here most of the day.”
“Wish I could be there to see Trappe piss his pants.”
“Me too.” Hangman slapped Finn on the back. “Well, I’d better get back to work. Gotta have this place ready for Lily in an hour so we can rest up before the party.” Finn nodded as Hangman left his side. His gaze still rested on Daphne. Was she mad at him? Was she ignoring him? Or was she just doing that thing that girls do, to get attention?
He had to say something. Finn willed his feet to move forward, despite their sudden refusal. Why was he nervous? He’d never felt this way before about anything, especially not a girl. He’d put himself in danger’s way countless times, risked getting caught by Trappe or worse, and had never been as afraid as he was now. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets to steady the tremble.
“Hey Daffy,” he murmured. She wiped her hands on a crumpled strip of paper towel and glanced up at him, her eyes cold and emotionless.
“Yes, Finn?”
“Can we talk?”
“Sure.” She crossed her arms and stood unmoving, that same emptiness filling her irises.
“I mean, can we talk alone?” Finn whispered, hoping that the boys wouldn’t catch on that he had feelings for this girl. That he had a weakness. If they did, he’d never hear the end of it.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Please, it’ll only take a second.”
Daphne rolled her eyes and looked around the room, judging the completion of her project. She sighed deeply before replying, “Okay, whatever.”
“Daffy, I’m really sorry.” Finn said as soon as they left earshot in the middle of the tunnel. “I messed up. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please don’t leave.”
“Leave? I’m not going to leave.” Daphne almost laughed.
“You aren’t?” Finn’s stature straightened, as if a fifty-pound weight were lifted from his chest.
“No, why would I? I like it here.”
“But last night . . . you looked so hurt. Like you were going to cry or something.”
“Don’t be silly, Finn.” Something that resembled a smile crossed her face, though there was fallacy in it. “I’m fine. You made everything perfectly clear to me last night. And I should have known better. I won’t make the same mistake again.”
“Mistake?” Finn, tormented by the battling emotions in his head, sighed heavily. “There was no mistake. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of, Daffy.”
“What makes you think I’m ashamed?” Daphne lifted her chin in defiance. With a gentle hand, Finn reached out and caressed it. Daphne’s eyes began to soften. “Stop,” she said. Finn continued to stroke her face, cheek to chin. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to. His face drew nearer to hers and a vulnerability began to peek out through her cold stare.
“Stop,” she said again, but he didn’t. His hand glided down the side of her neck to her collarbone, softly stroking the discolored bruises with a feather-light touch. She began to tremble and he heard her gasp under her breath.
“Stop,” she said once more, this time faltering.
“I can’t,” Finn argued and he pulled her to him. She struggled this time, pushing and writhing, until she let herself go, accepting the emotions she was fighting so hard to block. “There you are,” Finn said, letting her go. “You can’t hide your feelings, Daffy. Any more than I can hide mine.”
“You have no feelings, Finn. I know that now. You’re just a player.”
Finn’s gaze hardened on her. “No feelings? A player?” He was left speechless. There was only one thing he could think of to convince her.
Finn pushed Daphne against the cold bricks, pressing his body hard against hers. He clawed her hair and kissed her so intensely that she moaned audibly. Energy rushed through him. It felt like the thrill of getting caught by Trappe and narrowly escaping, but intensified. At first Daphne resisted, as she did before, but then she relaxed into it and returned his kiss with equal passion. This felt so right to Finn. Even though he knew it was wrong. So wrong. Before Daphne had come into his life he always knew who he was and where he belonged. But now . . . now he f
elt more lost than ever.
Chapter Seventeen
Birthday Surprise
Daphne paced anxiously, counting seconds in her head, trying to keep the deluge of feelings rushing through her bottled up. An explosion was building up within her. She was still giddy from the unexpected kiss. And now, she was nervous, hoping that the party she had planned for Lily would meet her expectations. She didn’t want to disappoint the only girlfriend she had here, especially after all Lily had done for her.
Music was pounding from the TV through the DVD player, and the boys were crowded around the shelves, where Daphne had set up the food Finn had stolen after dinner: bags of chips poured into bowls, crackers and cheese arranged neatly on a plate, and chocolate chip cookies, stacked and organized to look like a birthday cake, complete with a candle on top. Daphne had insisted going with Finn to get the food since she had no intention of her party guests eating directly out of the packaging. She made sure to take some dishes and cups for serving. On a separate shelf, Daphne set out a bowl of spiked punch, prepared herself with a splash of cheap rum from the faculty dining room.
Off to the side, on another shelf, was the remainder of the stolen Glenfiddich with a few glasses. Josh and Max huddled over the punch, quaffing the spirits that they would normally have no access to.
“Daph, you look nervous,” Max said. “Have a drink and calm down.” He raised the bottle of whiskey and smiled.
“No thanks,” Daphne said, taking note of the slight slur in Max’s voice. She would be drinking light tonight since she felt responsible for her brothers. “I’ll be fine once Lily gets here.” Daphne giggled at her brothers’ behavior. Josh, usually on the straight and narrow, was remarkably laid back, obviously getting tipsy from the alcohol. Max, on the other hand, seemed to be increasing his volume as the minutes ticked by. Daphne had never really noticed it before, but the other boys seemed disinterested in the alcohol. She’d seen them drink before, so they weren’t complete teetotalers, but they certainly weren’t as enthusiastic about it as her brothers, who seemed to be inhaling it. She supposed that when they were free to do it any time they wanted, the novelty of it wore down.
Daphne’s thumping heartbeat climaxed when she finally saw Lily appear with Finn at the entrance to the cellar. At first she wasn’t sure who caused that reaction in her: Lily or Finn. She hadn’t seen Finn since they kissed in the tunnel earlier and though she was happy, she didn’t want to get her hopes too high. She wasn’t really sure what his feelings were toward her. Her nerves settled quickly when she saw the captivated look on Lily’s face. Lily’s eyes widened in delight and her broad smile was worth a whole month of stealing toilet paper.
“Daffy, this is amazing!” Her face glowed with the alternating reds, yellows, blues, and greens of the party lamp Kevin had rigged and installed on the ceiling.
“Happy birthday,” Daphne said as she hugged Lily. Behind Lily, Finn stood gazing at Daphne. He gave her a quick wink, which made her pause. How could such a tiny gesture send intense shockwaves through her chest?
“I can’t believe you did this,” Lily said. “This place . . . are you sure this is the cellar?” Daphne laughed and nodded. “You are a miracle worker. You think you could redecorate my bedroom?”
“Only if you want it to look like the boys’ bathroom,” Daphne quipped.
“Seriously, Daffy. It looks great. Thank you.”
Daphne dragged Lily to the center of the room and started dancing. As the two danced, Finn leaned against the back wall, watching Daphne’s moves as if under an enchantment. Lily gave Daphne a suspicious look.
“What’s going on Daff?”
“Going on? I don’t—”
“Between you and Finn. Something’s different. I can tell.”
“How?”
“The way he looks at you. Like how he’s watching you right now. It’s like he’s in his own world and you’re the only one in it.”
“Oh, that. I don’t know Lily. He, uh, kissed me.”
“He kissed you?” Lily was truly struck with awe.
“I know what you’re going to say. I tried not to read too much into it. Spent all day convincing myself that it wasn’t real, that he really doesn’t feel anything for me. I know he’s a commitment phobe. I even tried pushing him away. But then he did it again. Like he was trying to prove something to me.”
“Huh.” Lily thought. “You know . . .” A grin crossed her face. “I’d never thought I’d say this, but I think he may really be falling for you.”
“Stop,” Daphne insisted. “I’m already freaking out as it is.”
“No, really, Daff. You don’t know Finn like I do. When we were together he never looked at me like that. And all that time he’s been spending with you . . . he really likes you.”
Daphne shook her head. “I don’t want to get hurt, Lily.”
“Neither does he.”
Daphne peered back at Finn. He was watching her. His eyes looked hungry for her and Daphne turned back to Lily to hide her blushing cheeks. She was terribly confused. She wanted to be with him and at the same time it was the last thing she wanted. Like longing for something you know you’ll never be able to keep. It was a simultaneous feeling of bliss and dread. She needed to put him out of her mind.
Daphne and Lily danced without a care in the world for what seemed like hours. At one point Max came to dance drunkenly with them, but for the most part, the boys stayed on the sidelines and watched. Daphne almost wished there were more girls here for them to dance with. That is, until she noticed an unexpected visitor.
Belle was standing in the corner with Finn. It seemed innocent enough, but Daphne felt the stab of jealousy fall deep within her breast. Finn caught Daphne looking and sent her a wink of reassurance. Still, she felt uneasy.
“What is it?” Lily asked when she’d noticed Daphne’s stillness. She turned to see what Daphne was looking at. “Oh. Sorry. I should have told you I invited her.”
“Why? I thought she hated you too.”
“No, not anymore. She’s actually really nice once you get past that tough, bitchy exterior.”
“And how exactly can I do that?”
Lily made a face that suggested a friendship between Daphne and Belle would not be on the schedule any time soon. “She won’t do anything to ruin the party. She promised me.”
“Okay, whatever.” Daphne left Lily and went over to the punch bowl. She was ready for a stiff drink. Between her burgeoning feelings for Finn and her expanding hatred of Belle, she needed to loosen up. The punch bowl was nearly empty, courtesy of Josh and Max. She managed to pour about half a cup full and chug it down.
“Great party,” Shag said as he stood beside her.
“Yeah,” was all Daphne could really get out, still distracted by Belle and Finn.
“You wanna dance?”
“Not really,” Daphne sighed apologetically. “I need a break.”
“I’ll sit with you,” Shag volunteered.
Daphne really just wanted to be alone. She’d have gone back to her own little cave and gone to sleep if she could, but she couldn’t just leave Lily’s party. Shag followed her to the pillows she had stacked against the wall. When she glanced back at Finn, Daphne saw Belle look away abruptly, a sly smirk on her cheek.
“Hey, we need more food!” Trick shouted. “And booze!”
“I’ll get some,” Finn volunteered immediately. As he approached the tunnel Belle followed him like a homeless puppy.
“No, I will!” Lily said. “I need to use the restroom anyway.” Finn shrugged and returned to his position on the wall. Daphne wished he would come sit with her, but Belle was right back on him, refusing to give him up.
“So, Daffy, how are you liking it here?” Shag asked as Daphne watched Lily disappear into the tunnel.
“Huh?”
“You like it here, right?” Shag repeated.
“Oh.” Daphne snapped back to reality. “Yeah, it’s great.”
“I know i
t’s kind of hard at first, not having any other home to go to and all, but you get used to it.”
Daphne tore her interest away from Finn and Belle. She didn’t want to be rude to Shag. “So how did you end up here?”
“Hangman recruited me. All of us kind of belonged to a group of boys who lived here at the academy year-round. Some had parents who always travelled. Some had parents who always worked and didn’t have time to waste on children, or hiring a nanny. Some, like mine, simply didn’t care.”
“Your parents must have cared to send you here. I know it costs a fortune in tuition.”
“A small price to pay compared to the cost of raising a troublesome child. Not to mention the psychotherapy bills it also entails.”
Daphne sighed audibly. “Some people were just not meant to have children.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. So how bad were your parents?”
“Bad?”
“Well, yeah. They must have been pretty horrible for you to end up here with us.”
Daphne thought about her mom and dad. She realized she had hardly thought about them at all over the past few weeks. She almost had a hard time picturing them. It was like looking through a lens where you could only focus on certain features. She could remember her mom’s eyes, but not her nose. The shape of her lips stood out, but not their color. And her hair just seemed wrong. How did she style it?
“Actually, they weren’t that bad,” Daphne said, her memory of that horrible night at the club faded like newsprint in the sunlight. “At least not all the time. They were just always keeping me from seeing my friends. Going out and stuff.”
“That sucks,” Shag remarked. He inched his hand closer to Daphne’s on the floor. Soon their hands were touching, but Daphne barely noticed. She was looking at Finn and Belle again.
“Hey Daffy?”
“Hmm?” Shag swiftly drew his hand on top of hers startling her back into the present.
“Do you want to get out of here? Maybe go down to the lake or something?”
The lake. Daphne would love to go to the lake right now. With Finn. Daphne could see the yearning in Shag’s eyes, begging her to come with him. But of course she couldn’t. She didn’t like him in that way. In fact, she really didn’t know much about him at all.
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