“I don’t like you driving at night,” he grumbled.
“Why?”
“You could get tired, fall asleep, and drive off the road. Some drunk could plow into you. You might get blinded by someone’s lights and cross the center—”
She reached up and put her hand over his mouth. “I promise, I’ll drive really carefully.” She dropped her hand.
“Fine, you remember the way home?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to be behind you the entire time. Don’t worry about losing me, I’ll keep up.”
“All right, but . . .”
“Yeah?”
“Will you take me for a ride another day?”
“You bet, baby. It’ll be a date.”
“I’ve never been on a date.”
“That needs to change. Come on, I’ll walk you over.”
“It’s fine. My car is just there.” She pointed at it.
Grasping hold of her hand, he escorted her over to her car. She sighed, but didn’t say anything.
He opened her door, then buckled her in. “Wait for me to be ready before you leave. I’ll see you at home.”
Damn, that sounded good.
16
Home.
That’s what he’d called his house and as she stepped through the door after him, that’s what it felt like.
Luna came rushing out at them, greeting her excitedly. She bent down and got a full lick in the face.
“Ew. Nice. Thanks, Luna. I missed you too.”
“She moped all day today,” Razor told her. “I swear she was looking at me like I’d stolen her best friend. You want a drink, baby?”
She yawned, and her tummy rumbled. Embarrassed, she put her hand over it. “Sorry.”
“Did you eat dinner?”
“Um, yep.”
Razor just grinned. “Come on, I’ll make you a snack.”
He walked into the kitchen and she followed along.
“I can get it myself. You don’t have to wait on me.”
“But I like waiting on you. Besides, if I let you make it, then you’ll probably give yourself salmonella.”
“That only happened once,” she muttered.
Of course, she hadn’t tried to cook with chicken again.
He grasped her around the waist and lifted her onto the counter. She let out a small gasp, caught by surprise at the sudden movement.
Don’t flinch.
“Sorry, should have warned you.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m just still getting used to being touched. But I like it. Don’t stop. Please. I don’t want to be treated like I’m fragile.”
“I know you’re not fragile. You’re fucking strong.”
She wouldn’t go that far. But she felt like she was getting stronger every day.
He moved between her legs, parting them wide around his big body. He ran his hands up her thighs. A shiver raced through her as he grew close to her upper thighs. “I won’t treat you like you’re fragile, but I will treat you like you’re special. Because you are. My special baby girl.”
Damn. He was killing her. He moved away, and she watched as he fixed them both grilled cheese. He cut hers up into triangles which was super cute. Then he picked a triangle up and blew on it.
That was the craziest, sweetest thing she’d ever seen.
“You okay, Tabby-baby?”
“Ah, yeah.”
“There you go, it’s cooler now.” He held the sandwich out to her and she grabbed hold, taking a bite. Her eyes nearly rolled back in her head at how good it was.
“Will you show me how to make them?”
“Course I will, baby.” He turned to the fridge and poured her a glass of chocolate milk. It had become her favorite treat.
“Yummy, thank you,” she said in a surprisingly sweet-sounding voice.
“You’re welcome. I don’t have any straws, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, I like straws,” she said excitedly. “Especially the ones that go around and around. Swirly-twirly ones.”
“I’ll see if I can get some.”
“You don’t have to.” For some reason, she felt a bit shy about him buying them for her.
“I know. I want to.”
She took three big gulps of the chocolate milk and put the glass down. With a smile, he reached over and wiped his thumb over her top lip. “There, that’s better.”
“Oh no,” she cried.
“What is it?” he asked, turning from the dishwasher where he’d just put the dirty dishes.
“Nothing, it’s fine.” She crossed her fingers behind her back.
Wait. Oh, drat.
Razor gave her a stern look. “No hiding things from me, remember? That’s now a rule.”
“It is?”
“Yep. And there will be consequences for breaking it.”
A shiver ran up her spine. One of anticipation. “I wasn’t lying. Exactly. It’s just,” she bit her lip, feeling like an idiot, “I don’t have Snappy or Scooby.”
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Tabby-baby. I should have thought of that. Do you need them to sleep?”
“I think I’ll be okay. I didn’t sleep with Snappy when Luther was around. If Luther had known about him, then he would have destroyed him for fun.”
“But you shouldn’t have to sleep without him. I’ll go get him and Scooby for you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You can’t do that!”
“Course I can. It will take me about an hour, though. I don’t know about leaving you here alone.”
“Razor, you don’t need to go into the city to get my toys. I’m fine.”
He frowned. “A girl needs her stuffies.”
Damn. Damn. He had to stop. “If you keep being so nice, I’m going to start crying.”
Leaning in, he nuzzled his nose against hers. Oh, Lord. That was so sweet. She loved when he did that. Her eyes fluttered shut and he kissed each lid. Her nose. Her cheeks. Chin. Then her lips. She sighed happily as he drew back and she opened her eyes.
“I don’t want you to cry.”
“They’re happy tears.”
“Happy tears. Never did understand the concept,” he grumbled, making her smile.
Poor Razor.
“Didn’t your sisters ever cry happy tears?”
He let out a huff of breath. “Oh, they shed all sorts of tears. Sad tears. Happy tears. Angry tears. Ecstatic tears. Then there was all the screaming, the laughing. Our house was never quiet.”
It sounded like fun.
“I don’t want you to go.” she confessed.
He gave her a thoughtful look. “My job is to make sure you have what you need.”
He was crazy. He couldn’t do that all the time. “I’ll be—”
“If you say you’ll be fine, I’m going to turn you over my knee,” he growled at her.
He was joking. Right?
She wasn’t so sure. He definitely looked serious. “That’s not very nice.”
“I’m not very nice.”
She huffed out a breath. “Now who’s telling fibs, Daddy?”
Shock filled her as the word came out. Her cheeks heated and she squirmed on the counter. The ridiculous urge to hide came over her. But he grasped her hips.
“No.”
No? What did he mean by no?
“Look at me.”
Yep, that wasn’t happening. She kept her gaze down.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “You know how good it feels to hear you call me that?”
Her eyes shot to his without her permission. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, Tabby-baby.” He looked bewildered. “Why wouldn’t it? I want to be your Daddy, Tabby-baby. You know that.”
What was she doing? Acting like an idiot.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. As soon as I said that, I had this urge to hide. It’s not that I thought you would hurt me. I don’t know what happened.”
“Guessing you felt vulnerable and unsure. You tend to hid
e your gaze when you’re worried or scared.” He grasped hold of her chin. “It can be hard to open up. I get it. But you don’t ever need to hide from me. I want all of you.”
She shuddered out a breath. “Okay.”
“Now, stay there. Promise.”
“Promise.”
“’Cause if I have to chase you down, there’s going to be trouble.” He tapped her nose with his finger then left the room.
She wondered what he was doing. He soon returned with something held behind his back. When he drew it out, it was a soft toy replica of the Mystery Machine. She gasped.
“I know it’s not Snappy, but maybe it will do for tonight?”
Tabby hugged it against her. It was squishy and soft and delightful.
“I love it, Daddy. It’s perfect.”
Just like him.
“Where are you going, baby girl?” Razor asked Tabby as she headed towards the spare bedroom.
“Oh, um, I thought we were going to sleep.” She looked confused and sleepy. A big yawn overtook her and she gave him an embarrassed look. “Sorry.”
He’d break her of that habit of saying sorry for shit she didn’t have to apologize for. And for brushing aside her own needs as unimportant.
“You’re not sleeping in there,” he told her as he tugged her down the passage to his bedroom.
“I’m not? Where am I sleeping?”
“With me.” He opened the door and Luna shot in. Then he realized what he’d just done. Fuck. Way to bulldoze her, asshole.
It was his natural inclination to take charge, but he had to remember that she was still feeling her way with him.
He wanted her in his bed every night from now on. Just the thought of her sleeping somewhere else made a growl rumble its way up from his gut.
Hide the crazy, man.
Turning, he found her staring up at him in shock.
“Unless you don’t want that,” he added. “Nothing happens that you don’t want, remember?”
She nodded.
“Just sleeping. Nothing else.”
“That’s too bad,” she muttered.
“What?” He couldn’t have heard her say that, right?
Something strange came over her face. “Okay, I want to sleep with you.”
“Good.” He walked into the bedroom. Luna climbed into her bed, spinning around a few times before she plonked down. Tabby giggled at the dog’s antics, making him smile. He led her over to the bathroom and found her a new toothbrush in the cupboard under the sink.
“Brush your teeth, baby girl. I’ll get you something to wear.”
All of his stuff was going to swim on her, but she couldn’t wear her clothes to bed. He grabbed a T-shirt that had shrunk in the wash and walked back into the bathroom to put it on the sink.
“I’ll go use the other bathroom, be back soon.” He couldn’t help but run his hand over her ass. Despite her slim, athletic build, she had an ass that just didn’t quit. Fuck. He was going to be hard-pressed to keep his hands off it now.
He squeezed one cheek, then gave it a light pat before forcing himself to exit the bathroom. God damn it. Did he have time for a quick, cold shower? He adjusted his straining cock and moved through the room.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he muttered to Luna as he grabbed some pajama pants and a sleeveless tank top. He usually went to bed naked, but Lois had given him these pajama pants last Christmas, and he thought that Tabby would be more comfortable if he wore them.
When he returned after using the spare bathroom, he found her standing awkwardly by the bed, hugging the stuffie he’d given her. She had her hair tied back in a braid.
She looked over at him shyly. “Wasn’t sure what side you slept on.”
“Side closest to the door, baby girl.” Taking her hand, he led her to the other side of the bed. “Always between you and the door.”
She gave him a surprised look, but he bent to draw back the covers. “In you get.”
“Thank you.”
After she’d climbed in, he tucked her in, then moved around to the other side. He turned off the main light, and she sucked in a breath.
“Need a light on?” he asked.
“Um.”
“Honest answer,” he said firmly. This had to stop.
“Yes, please. If it won’t bother you.”
“Doesn’t bother me.” He remembered from when she’d stayed here that she’d had the bathroom light on. He turned it on and half shut the door before climbing into his side.
As he lay down, he realized how stiff she was. She’d never sleep like this.
“Come here, Tabby-baby.”
“What?”
“Come here. Lie next to me.”
She moved slowly over. Razor forced himself to be patient. She was so unused to touch, and yet, he thought she was starved for it. Touch that didn’t hurt, anyway. She lay on her side with her head resting on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her.
A soft sigh left her.
“Better?” he asked, reaching over to massage her scalp.
“Uh-huh.”
“I want you to get used to my touch. Because keeping my hands off you has been fucking hard. And it’s only going to get harder. I’m going to lift you up.”
He waited for her agreement. Then he lay her on top of him and rubbed his hands over her back.
“Ohhh,” she moaned.
“You’re all tense, baby girl. You’re going to cause yourself an injury.”
He moved his hands over her back, feeling for each knot and working on it until it released. Gradually, she relaxed completely. He figured the best idea was to be firm and steady in his approach. Go slow, but also show no hesitation. Because if he was confident in what he was doing, it would make her feel safer.
Decision made, he moved his hands down to her ass. She jolted, but he didn’t pull back as he squeezed and rubbed her butt cheeks. Yep, operation ‘get Tabby used to his touch’ was going well.
“Razor?”
“Hm?”
“Will you tell me about her one day? Your wife?”
He stilled for a moment then sighed.
“Sorry. Forget I asked.” She was growing tense again and he slapped her ass.
“Stop that. You can ask me fucking anything.” It was his fault she’d grown all worried, though, so he rubbed the cheek that he’d just smacked.
“Even how you ended up in jail?”
“Yeah, baby girl. Even that.” He continued to run his hand over her ass as he thought about where to start.
“Remember how I told you about my uncle and his friends getting rid of that asshole who hit Momma?”
“I remember.”
“Well, they were in a gang. My momma, she loved her brother, but she didn’t like his life choices. She tried to keep us away from anything to do with the gang. But that night, it changed something in me and in their relationship. She started letting him come around more often. He spent time with all of us, but mostly me. Momma didn’t know, but he often took me to the gang’s headquarters. It felt good. I felt like I was part of a family. I mean, I had a family, but I was the only guy. But as I got older, I became more entrenched in that lifestyle. Momma argued with me about it a lot. But that just made me more determined.”
She lightly patted his chest next to her face. “That must have been hard on you both.”
“I put her through hell. I was young and rash and stupid. So fucking stupid.”
“You were a kid who looked up to his uncle. It’s not so stupid to want to feel safe and accepted.”
“But I had a family who loved me. I just thought that my momma was making a big deal out of nothing. I thought I knew it all.”
“How old were you?”
“When I first initiated, I was seventeen. I’d left school already, gotten a job working at one of the gang-owned businesses. It was a front for everything else they had going on. Mostly drugs. Figured I was old enough to make my own decisions. Fuck, it’s a wonder Mo
mma put up with me. I moved out of home, and eventually I stopped going around because I knew Momma would just lecture me. I met Sandy, my wife, through one of the guys. We were both twenty. She was his cousin. Took one look at her and I knew she was the one.”
“Did she feel the same about you?”
“Fuck, no. Pretty sure she hated me as soon as she saw me.”
She laughed. “I’m certain that’s not true.”
“Oh, it is. I came over to where she was hanging with her friends at one of the parties at the club house. Had this swagger going on. Some cheesy line came out of my mouth as I moved up behind her and squeezed her ass. She turned around and slapped me.”
Tabby giggled. “Oh no.”
“I know. But I was a persistent little ass. I knew I could win her over. Took me a whole fucking year before she agreed to date me. By then, I was fully entrenched in the gang. Sure, I was low in the ranks. But I was loyal and willing to do anything.”
He shook his head with a sigh. “I’d always liked control in the bedroom, but Sandy wanted to take it further. She’d heard about this BDSM club opening from a friend and she talked me into going. It was like I’d found something that helped center me, you know? I could be rash and impulsive, but I also liked to be in charge. It wasn’t until we’d been going for a while that she met Sheena and Mark. Sheena was a Little. Sandy and Sheena just clicked. Became best friends.”
“And that’s when she brought it up with you?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t sure about it for a start. Sandy wanted me to talk to Mark about it, but I wouldn’t. Too fucking arrogant and full of myself. Reckoned I could figure it all out myself. I could tell Sandy was disappointed, but I wouldn’t change my stance. We got married. Life had its ups and downs, but on the whole, things were pretty good. And then I got arrested.”
“What for?”
“Fuck. Just remember, I’m not this person anymore.”
She leaned up on her arms to stare down at him. “Razor, I know you’re not that person anymore. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
He just shook his head. “No, I need to tell you. I was the getaway driver for an armed robbery. But I was the only one caught. I refused to roll over on the others though. Fortunately, I wasn’t armed and I didn’t have the goods. But I still went away for five years. I came out a different man. Sandy found it hard. It was difficult for her when I was away. Things weren’t good between us. We fought a lot.”
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