Lila sighed. ‘It’s not that easy. Firstly; I have no idea if he feels the same way or if I was just a one-time thing. Second – my fiancé was just murdered. It’s bad enough I’m having another man’s baby….god, what a fucking mess.’
She thought about that conversation now, grateful to Ronnie and Flynn for their honesty but it was still unresolved in her mind. Now she was nearly five months along, her belly softly curved outwards, small but still noticeable. She was surprised the baby was so small; with Noah’s height she figured it would be a monster but no, her little bean was just that. Little. She stroked a hand down her belly. Now; whatever happened, she was already attached to the little critter. No turning back now, she smiled to herself.
The bookshop was quiet today. The weather had turned rainy and cool, and the sky was black with storm clouds. Lila was checking a new delivery, scanning the books into the shop’s computer system and pricing them. So absorbed was she, she barely heard the shop door open, the small bell chiming.
‘Hi.’
She froze and her breathe caught in her throat. No, not like this. She grabbed hold of the counter in front of her, shifting slightly so the box of books was a wall in front of her. Protection. Deflection. She took a breath in and looked up.
Noah Applebaum stood in front of her, impossibly handsome in his sweater and jeans, a smile that reached his green eyes. His dark hair was a little longer than she remembered, and he was taller too, wasn’t he? Yep, that’s the stuff to focus on now, you idiot. She stared back at him.
‘Noah…what are you doing here?’
His smile didn’t fade. ‘Why do you think? I tried to get in contact with you in New York after Richard died but Cora told me you’d done a vanishing act. Then, the other day, a patient of mine was telling me how she’d seen this very beautiful young woman in the bookshop where she lived, and that she seemed familiar. She’d remembered about the bridal store stabbing in New York, remembered your face from the photos.’
Lila’s eyes narrowed. ‘What else did she tell you?’
Noah looked confused. ‘Huh? Nothing, just that.’
‘You’re lying.’
That shook him. He obviously had expected a warmer welcome than the one she was giving him. ‘What? No, I…’
‘If the woman exists, she would have told you something else about me. Something big. Noah…how did you find me?’
He opened his mouth to protest, then had the grace to look ashamed. ‘I’m sorry; I didn’t want to freak you. I thought if I played it like it was a coincidence, a passing remark, it would sound better than I hired a detective to find you. Several in fact.’
Lila closed her eyes. ‘Oh, god…’
‘Lila, I’m sorry, I was just so concerned. Whoever stabbed you is still out there, I wanted to know you were safe. And I wanted to see you. Of course, I wanted to see you.’
Lila felt like crying. One side of her wanted to run into his arms but the other, the rational side, was irritated and frightened and god…so many emotions. She clutched the box of books in front of her. ‘I think you should go,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t do this.’
She hated the hurt in his eyes. ‘Noah…things have changed. I’m not engaged but I’m not free either. As much as I…’ she trailed off and just looked at him. He was everything she wanted, desperately wanted. The time they had spent together when she was in hospital had been incredible. The connection they had forged, nothing like she had experienced before. She adored everything about this man; his intellect, his goofy sense of humor, the pattern of moles on his right cheek which looked like the Big Dipper. She had felt most safe when her skin was next to his and yet now, standing less than a few feet away from him, she had never been more terrified.
You have to do this; you have to tell him why. It’s only fair.
‘Noah, I…’ her voice cracked and he stepped forward to comfort her. She shook her head and he stopped. ‘Noah,’ she began again, string this time, ‘there’s something I need to tell you. A big thing.’
He gave her a crooked smile. ‘The big thing my imaginary patient would have noticed?’
She didn’t return his smile. ‘Know that I…didn’t want to burden you.’
He was confused now. ‘Whatever it is, Lila, please, just tell me.’
Lila hesitated for a long moment, and then with a big intake of breath, she stepped around the counter and finally faced him, her hand on the small bump in her abdomen.
Noah stared back at her in disbelief.
Manhattan
Riley Kinsayle didn’t have his usual smile on his face as Tinsley greeted him that evening. ‘’Sup, dude?’
She pushed a beer towards him but he waved it away. ‘Charlie’s in the hospital.’
Tinsley was shocked. ‘What? How?’
‘He took a beat down by some junkies on a bust that went FUBAR. Doc’s say he’ll be okay but, god, Tins…’
Riley looked so shaken that she rounded the bar and hugged him. ‘God, that’s horrible. Which hospital is he in? I’ll go see him.’
Riley told her. ‘But leave it until tomorrow; they’re only letting police in at the moment.’
Tinsley sighed and rubbed her eyes. ‘God, I thought all this violence was over and done with. Was it a bust gone bad?’ She indicated the hot coffee pot and Riley nodded gratefully.
As she passed him the drink, he took a long sip, obviously not caring if the hot liquid burnt his mouth. ‘Nope, Charlie was following a lead on Lila’s attacker. He must have gotten too close.’
Tinsley’s eyes widened. ‘Wow. Oh wow.’
Riley studied her, his dark eyes searching her face as he drank some more coffee. He put the cup down. ‘Tinsley…he was asking for Lila.’
‘What?’ Tinsley felt like she might cry. Riley sighed.
‘Tins, if you know anything about where she is…tell me. Please. She’ll want to know about Charlie and he needs her now, like never before. Please.’
Tinsley sighed. ‘Riley, I honestly don’t know where Lila is. I did get one email from her, telling me she was sorry for disappearing but it was for the best. When I tried to reply, the message bounced back.’
Riley chewed over this information. ‘Do you still have her email?’
Tinsley nodded. ‘Good,’ Riley said, ‘then maybe we could trace where it came from. Huh. Ironically, the Carnegie software would probably do it for us and – ‘
‘Riley, no. She doesn’t deserve to have her privacy violated like that, it’s not right.’
‘Her best friend has just been attacked, Tinsley.’ Riley’s voice had an uncharacteristic tone – angry, full of blame and she whirled around, irritated herself.
‘I know that but it’s not Lila’s fault, is it?’
Riley dug in his pockets for some cash for the coffee, shaking his head, obviously pissed. ‘Tins, I want you to know that you could be charged with impeding an investigation.’
‘The hell I am – Lila didn’t beat up Charlie, did she?’
Riley slammed the money on the bar and walked out.
San Juan Island, Washington State
Noah stared at Lila’s belly for the longest time then slowly he met her gaze, his eyes cold. ‘Is it mine?’
Lila’s hands were sweating and her heart thudded heavily against her ribs. ‘Of course it is,’ she whispered. ‘There’s been no-one else since that time.’
‘That one time,’ he said. Almost in disbelief.
‘Are you angry?’
He shook his head. ‘Not that you’re pregnant, Lila, no, I’m not angry about that.’ He stepped towards her, his eyes full of hurt. ‘But I am angry that you kept it from me. That’s my child too.’
‘We had one day together, Noah. I didn’t want to dump this in your lap, especially not after everything, and it’s not like we were in a relationship to begin with. And I had to consider the Carnegie’s in this too. How do you think they would have felt? Me pregnant with another man’s baby when their son, my fiancé, has j
ust been killed?’
Noah stared at her, shaking his head. ‘The only person who matters here is our child, Lila. You’re keeping it?’
‘Of course.’ Her voice broke then and tears dropped down her cheeks. He raised his arms to hold her but she backed off. ‘No, please, don’t touch me. Noah, I am sorry but as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing to be talked about.’
Noah lost it then. ‘You cannot do this, Lila, that’s my child! Don’t you think I want to be involved with his or her life? Help to raise them. I want…’
‘What? What do you want, Noah?’
He stopped mid-rant. ‘I want you, Lila. I want you and our baby.’
Lila closed her eyes. She had dreamed of hearing these exact words – just not like this. ‘Noah, I can’t. I just can’t. I’m scared that if we try – and fail – losing you would break me. And, even though I feel something real and tangible for you, we still don’t know each other that well.’
‘Bullshit,’ he said fiercely, ‘I do know you. I know you love with your whole heart. I know that when you sleep, you favor your left side, sleep with one hand under your face. I know you like orange Jello and also the lime. I know that I would walk through fire to see you happy and safe…’
Lila gave a sob, and in a flash, Noah had locked the door to the shop and pulled down the shade, coming to take her in his arms. She didn’t resist.
‘Lila, sweetheart, I can’t get you out of my head. I had to find you, tell you how much you mean to me. Try to see if we could make a go of it together. It wasn’t a one night stand for me, Lila; it was the beginning of something else. And now I know that’s true. Look, I’ll transfer to the medical center here, rent somewhere, so that if you need me, I’ll be here. Always. I won’t ask you to make a commitment to me, just let me be around, involved.’
She looked up at him through tear filled eyes, searching his clear green eyes for clues to how he really felt. All she saw was hurt – and love.
‘Noah…’
His lips crushed against hers, hunger, pain in his kiss and his arms wound tightly around her body. Her hands slid onto his face as she responded to his kiss, fingers knotting in his hair.
Noah’s hands slid under her dress, caressed her swollen belly, then his hand slipped between her legs, stroking and touching through her underwear. ‘I want you so badly,’ he murmured against her mouth and she moaned softly as his fingers snagged in her panties and slid them down her legs.
Somewhere in her hazy, lust-delirious mind, it registered that making love to this man here at her workplace, in the middle of the day, was insane. But she couldn’t stop. God, the sweet taste of his mouth on hers, his eyes sweeping all over her, making her sex tremble and dampen, his big hands on her skin.
He lowered her to the floor and covered her body with his own, kissing, nibbling at her earlobes, pulling the straps of her dress down so he could take her nipples into his mouth, sucking on them, teasing them into a frenzy. His mouth moved down to her belly, his hands gentle, his lips against it, tender as he stroked it.
‘I want you inside me,’ she managed to gasp, smiling, Noah kicked his jeans off, his cock rising, hard and huge against his stomach. The sight of it made her cunt pulse with desire and when, at last, for only the second time, he entered her, she sighed with happiness and content.
I’m being fucked by this beautiful man, whose baby I’m carrying inside me. In this moment, I have everything I’ve ever wanted…
As they made love, Noah, tender to the last, kissed her softly, passionately, gazing into her eyes. His cock drove her onto almost unbearable pleasure, her rounded belly hard against his, her nipples brushing against his hard chest.
She gazed up at him and thought, oh how I love you, you beautiful man and for one blissful moment, she imagined what it might be like to imagine a life together, here on this island, anonymous and peaceful.
Her orgasm dashed any thought of anything from her mind and as she came down from the high, she heard Noah groan and his seed spilled out of him into her belly.
‘Lila, Lila, Lila…’
His plaintiff whisper made her want to cry but instead she fixed her mouth on his. Noah stroked her face as they embraced, then as they broke for air, he gazed down at her.
‘Lila…please, can’t we at least try? To be a family? You, me and the little one? Let’s at least, try.’
Hope sprang in her for the first time and she nodded, her eyes filled with tears, seeing the joy started to flood into his eyes. ‘Yes,’ she said simply. ‘Yes.’
Manhattan
Tinsley was shaking. Never, never, had she seen Riley so worked up. Yeah, okay, his partner had been shot, but to attack her for protecting Lila’s privacy. Something was going on with Riley, something other than Charlie getting shot.
Tinsley sighed, trying to calm herself. The Riley she knew and loved – he was nowhere to be seen in the angry man who had just left. ‘Jeez,’ she said to herself.
Later, when Mikey had come in for his shift, Tinsley took off, and, still pissed at Riley, had ignored his entreaty to stay away from the hospital. She was in luck; the cops there let her in with no argument.
Charlie was sitting up in bed, staring at a ballgame on the TV. His left shoulder was heavily bandaged, his arm in a sling. There were patterns of cuts and bruises all over his handsome face. He looked tired but his eyes lit up when he saw her.
‘Hey cutie pie, what are you doing here?’
She rolled her eyes, kissing his cheek. His stubble tickled her lips and she felt a pang of nostalgia when she would wake up to him kissing her awake. Water under the bridge, kiddo.
‘Riley came to see me, told me you’d gotten yourself beaten up. I heard by an eighty-pound elderly nun. With a limp.’
‘More like sixty four-hundred-pound sumo wrestlers. With actual hammers like in the cartoons.’
Tinsley laughed, glad that Charlie retained his sense of humor. She touched his injured arm lightly. ‘How bad is it?’
He shrugged – then winced at the pain. ‘Couple of chipped bones, hairline fractures. Should be fine in couple of months.’
Tinsley nodded. ‘Good thing it’s not your jerking off hand.’
Charlie gave a bark of gruff laughter. ‘Yes, it is. Although, you know you can always help me out with that.’
As he laughed again, she swiped at him, blushing. ‘Filthy boy.’
‘Talking of which, how goes it with Harry? Those Carnegie boys do like to mess with my women,’ he grinned to show he was joking.
‘Just fine and dandy,’ Tinsley felt weird discussing her relationship – if she could call it that – with her ex-boyfriend but Charlie to her now was a good friend – her best friend, if she was being honest. She grinned wickedly at him. ‘Anyway, a little birdy told me that you had your own fan in that family – a certain little redhead?’
Charlie had the grace to look sheepish. ‘It’s just a crush; she’ll get over it. Cora just needs some looking after, is all. I’m old enough to be her dad.’
Tinsley smirked. ‘That’s true, granddad. Hey, listen…Riley came to see me, to tell me about you and I’m afraid we got into a bit of an argument and I wanted to come explain myself to you.’
Charlie held up his good hand. ‘Hey, I’m staying out of any arguments between the two of you. That’s a lose-lose for me.’
Tinsley frowned. ‘But it does kind of involve you – well, Lila, at least.’
‘How so?’
‘He asked me if I knew where Lila was, that if I knew, I should tell you because you needed her, you asked for her when you were hurt.’
Charlie stared at her. ‘Tins, I did no such thing. Lila is where she needs to be right now; I would never intrude on that for a few cuts or bruises. You sure he said that?’
‘Well, seeing as it was the crux of our argument, I’m pretty sure. I told him I didn’t know where she was and he kinda freaked out on me. Big time.’
Charlie looked astonished. ‘Riley? Riley fr
eaked out?’
Tinsley nodded. ‘Yup, that was pretty much my reaction. Listen, you sure you didn’t ask for her when you were brought in, maybe you were out of it?’
He shook his head. ‘Nope, absolutely positive.’
She looked at the bruising on his head and wondered if he had concussion. ‘How can you be so sure?’
Charlie sighed. ‘Because, Tins…I already know where Lila is.’
San Juan Island
He drove them across the island in his Mercedes, back to the home she had found for herself. Shyly, Lila took Noah’s hand and he looked over and smiled at her. ‘Hey, beauty.’
Lila shook her head, smiling. Something had to give. Something would go wrong. If she’s learned anything from the past year, it was that no-one got everything they’d ever dreamed off just like that. There had to be catch, a pay-off, a twist in the tale.
But right now, for once, she let herself believe. After making love in the shop, they’d dressed, tidied the place up, and re-opened but the rain kept the shop empty and so instead, they talked.
‘Why did you keep the baby?’ He asked gently. ‘You could have just had it…dealt with, and no-one would have known.’
‘Because it was yours,’ she whispered softly, earning herself a passionate kiss.
They’d talked practicalities. ‘I could just resign,’ he said easily, ‘but I have patients that I want to see through their treatments. So, for now, I’ll commute. I’ll get a place near you so I don’t crowd you.’
She shook her head. ‘No, don’t. Just stay with me, don’t make this more complicated than it is. And sometimes, if you’ll have me, I’ll come into the city.’
Noah was clearly delighted. ‘We’re going to do this, Lila, all the way. We’re going to make it, I swear.’
She wanted to tell him she loved him in that moment but she funked it. It was too soon; she thought to herself, it was just lust. Well, she thought with a half-smile, lust – and a baby on the way. But if she was honest, she didn’t want to say it yet. She wanted to say it in a moment where it wasn't being swayed by sexual arousal, or panic, of fear, or anything. She would know when the moment was right.
Masked Indulgence: A Billionaire Holiday Romance (Nightclub Sins Book 2) Page 63