by Tara Brown
I didn't go to the inn and I didn't see the people I had said I would. I went directly to the house where Michael and Murphy lived with two other single men.
I took a breath and knocked.
Michael answered, giving me a bright white smile. “Gwyn, to what do we owe the honor.”
I lifted a finger to his face. “You will stop cavorting with Nan or I will tell Anna.”
His jaw dropped. “It’s not what you think.” He paused. “Cavorting? You mean prancing and dancing about with? Okay, it’s definitely not what you think.” He grinned.
I leaned in. “You know what I mean.”
He swallowed, giving me a hesitant stare. “I do.”
“It ends. Or I will tell her.”
He nodded once and stepped back, letting the warm air from their fire tease me as I stood in the frosty air.
I glanced past him. “Is Murphy here?”
His eyes narrowed. “Death threats for everyone?”
“No. I need to talk to him. He isn’t the one pairing with women and doing other things in secret.”
He sighed, shaking his head as he glanced back. “Murph, door.”
Murphy looked up from the wood he was carving. His beard had grown thick and dark, matching his hair as close as I had ever seen a beard match. The men in the kingdom all had them now, even Lyle. He smiled when he saw me and put the knife down. “Gwynie, what’s wrong?” he asked as he walked over.
“Can we go for a walk?”
He grinned wide. “So long as it’s not with your bow and arrow and involving a certain spot in the forest.”
I blushed, grinning. “No.”
He pulled on his jacket and boots and stepped outside, looking down on me. “Is your ass waiting around for us to show up?”
“No.”
He offered me his arm. I took it, feeling like we were back in the city again and everything was normal. Walking with a man, taking his arm and a relaxing stroll was something young people who were paired did. Having been paired with Murphy I didn't think it odd, even if I didn't love him the way people who were paired did. I noticed that had changed in me. I had once felt something for him but it had worn off slowly. Like the love that had once been forced on me for Lyle. “Did you make me love you when we were paired?”
He shook his head. “No. They did though. They made us both feel it.”
“It worked on you, even though you had your memories?”
He nodded. “It did. I was born with my memories but my brain is still human. I react to their droid drugs and games just as well as anyone.”
“Except Lyle.”
He nodded, wincing sort of. “I didn't mean to kill him, you have to know that.” He didn't look at me, just blurted it out as we walked.
“I think I do know that. But you did leave him wounded in the woods.”
He grabbed my arm. “They were on us, we were running through the forest, and they were coming fast. I could hear them but I didn't want to alarm the girls. They were scared enough. Lyle had them going, screaming about going back for Gwyn, had to save Gwyn.” He shook his head, still angry from the details. “He turned around, saying we could fight and go back. I lost it. They were screaming and crying and carrying on. He was shouting and pointing and bringing the slavers down on us. I shoved him when the girls weren’t close by, told him to get his act together and stop scaring them. But he was focused on one thing.”
“Me.”
He nodded. “I knew how long you’d worked for this, saving those three girls was more important than a single thing in your world. I knew Amber was pregnant and I suspected it was your brother’s baby. I knew what you would pick and the noise of the steps and cries of the slavers was getting closer. Lyle punched me and I hit him. He fell back, smacked his head on the rocks so hard, blood sprayed and he twitched.”
I didn't want to hear anymore of the story, but I forced myself to resist stopping him.
“I knew he was dead the moment he stopped moving. So I turned and left him there, saving the girls and waiting to give them the memory-maker poison. I told them he had stayed back, keeping an eye out for the slavers. The next day I told them the slavers had killed him while we tried to rescue them. He’d fallen from a cliff like the ones we were near.” He looked down, closing his mouth. I could tell he had relived every second of it all. His face was bright red, flushed with anger and emotion.
I lifted a hand, taking his and squeezing. “Thank you for saving them.”
He nodded, not attempting to squeeze back. “Is there a chance?”
“For what?”
He squeezed my hand then, taking the other one in his as well, and looked me in the eyes. “For us?”
I swallowed hard. He was like Bran to me, attractive and charming and mesmerizing. His smile was as crooked as his intentions and his dark eyes sucked me in. But he wasn't love. He was so many other things to me, but my heart truly belonged to another person. A man who I was a little bit ashamed of. A man I was a little disappointed in. A man who even though I had lost a little something for, still owned my heart in every way. I shook my head slowly, not letting my gaze fall the way I wanted it to. I forced myself to look in his eyes as I took away any hope. “I am always going to be your friend, Murph. I will always love you as a brother.”
He nodded but he didn't let go.
I leaned back a bit. “I have to get going. I have to help with Anna and the wedding and Michael.” I wrinkled my nose, disappointed in him as well. His philandering with Nan was despicable.
Murphy smiled but only with his lips. His eyes betrayed the hurt in him. I wanted to make it go away and lie and tell him maybe, but I couldn't do that. Nan had been right about him and Bran. Lyle had always been the gentleman in the bunch. The other two had pursued me when I didn't even know who I was. But Lyle always knew.
I pulled my hands away and waved. “See ya at the wedding.” I left him there in the snow and walked to the house to get ready and help out if I could.
Nan was in my room, sitting on my bed when I got home. She didn't look up but I could tell she was upset. I sat across from her and closed my eyes, listening to the sound of her silent tears as the odd sniffle broke from her or she wiped her face. “It’s okay to love someone, Nan. Even if they don't love you back.” If anyone knew that it was me. I had made two guys fall in love with me and never truly loved them back.
She lifted her head, her red rims made the green of her eyes so much brighter. “I don't think I even love him. I just don't understand how I’m good enough for one thing and not the other.”
I didn't know what she meant at first.
“He’ll cavort with me but not marry me?”
That cleared up the questions in my mind. I shook my head. “You don't want to marry a guy like that. If he does something like that to you and Anna, he’ll do it to anyone. And you won’t be the last person he does it with, even after he marries.”
“I know.” The truth didn't seem to set her free like it was always supposed to.
But I had to admit, I had never found the truth very freeing. It was far more debilitating. It weighed you down with burden and pain. Finding out the truth of what happened between Lyle and Murphy hadn’t made my decision to love Lyle any easier. If anything, it had made it harder for me to love Lyle.
My mom walked in with a couple cookies, handing us each one. “Where’s Lyle been keeping himself these days?” she asked as if she had read my thoughts.
“He’s been with the king and me, training for the day he takes over. The king’s children are too young to rule, and Lyle has knowledge they will never have. He is the kingdom’s best choice. Our population grows every day as men and women flee the city or arrive as traders from the outlying towns and shanty villages. We need to be strong and prepared for the time when we are as large as the cities themselves. It will happen. A truly free city run by a monarchy has much better success rates over the corruption of a democracy. History has proven that,” my dad answer
ed for me from directly behind her, smiling down on me and eating his own cookie. It wasn't nearly as sweet as the ones from the city, but it was the best tasting baking I’d had since we left it all behind.
My mother rolled her eyes. “I don't know where we’ll put them all. New people mean a desperate need for houses and inns.”
“It also means more hands to make light of the work,” Nan spoke through the mouthful of cookie.
Mom winked at me. “I made a sack of cookies. Why don't you take them to Lyle to try out before the nuptions.”
My father smiled wide. “Nuptials, my dear. They call them nuptials.”
She shrugged. “It’s all so romantic this way. Flowers and gowns and ceremony.” She sounded like a little kid. The glow on her face matched Angelina’s when I noticed her in the hall by my dad.
“You should take him cookies. Men enjoy women who care about if they have eaten or not. I have seen this in the city,” my dad said as he chewed and tilted his head nonchalantly from behind my mom. Clearly Lyle hadn’t spoken to him of the incident in the forest. I relented a moment, hesitating but not wanting to tell them what had happened.
I stood and walked to the kitchen where she followed and pointed at the small sack. The women had gotten more and more creative with their sewing and knitting. I picked it up, feeling as if the cookies weighed more than I did but knowing it was the dread.
I walked out, getting a strange look from Nan and Amber who knew everything. The cold winter wind bit and clawed at me as I crossed the area we had designated to make a town square. I didn't go to his house but instead walked to the inn. I knew my mom would ask him about the stupid cookies so I had to actually deliver them.
A man walked into town, giving me a look as I crossed in front of him. He paused, tilting his head to the side and furrowing his brow. “Gwyn?”
I glanced back, shocked to see the bearded face of a sickly looking man who resembled Tyler. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared. The cookie sack fell from my fingers, spilling cookies onto the crunchy snow.
I blinked, completely convinced he was a sand story. The sand was snow and the changes in his face were unlike any sand story I’d heard of, but he had to be Tyler. I would know his face anywhere.
“Tyler?” I asked, waiting for him to speak. He nodded slowly, scowling. He didn't seem happy to see me. “How are you alive? I saw you in the elevator.”
“What elevator?” He gulped, taking a step back from me. “I watched you die, Gwyn. I watched you die right in front of me.” He shook his head, making snow fall from his beard. I didn't understand. I closed my eyes again, completely uncertain how long they needed to be closed before he would vanish. When I opened them he was still there, farther back but still there.
“How did I die?” I asked, needing the nightmare to end.
“You were shot when the city was taken. The guards shot you with a gun. The wall fell and the people came rushing in. The guards shot you when you tried to help the people. I watched it happen.” He walked to me, instantly lifting his cold hand and brushing his fingers against my cheek. I didn't move, I couldn't. “How did you get here? Where’s Amber?” He let his hand drop to my shoulders and shook me. “WHERE IS MY WIFE?”
“We aren’t from the same place.” I started feeling dizzy as the realization hit. I had never met this Tyler McNeill.
“I KNOW YOU!”
I shook my head, grabbing his hands and holding them. “We aren’t from the same place. I’m Gwyn from my city and Tyler McNeill in my city died. I saw him dead on the ground. In my city Amber married my brother Greg. She’s here but she was never married to you, I swear.”
Tears flooded his eyes. “TAKE ME TO HER!”
I tried to calm him but his grip tightened on me.
“When we were in school, who was our teacher?” I asked, desperate to calm him down.
He leaned in, staring me down. “Mrs. Barker.”
I didn't know what to say; they had made one of us for each city and given us each the same life. My father was a clone married to a clone of my mother and I was their child. I grabbed at his hands, trying to remove them but he gripped harder. “You’re hurting me, Tyler.”
The handsome, egotistical boy I knew was gone. In his stead was a madman.
A dark shape flew past my eyes, taking Tyler with it. He and Lyle fought until they realized who each other was. “LYLE! LYLE GETTY? WHAT! YOU’RE BACK FROM THE DEAD TOO!” He wrapped around Lyle, holding him. Tears filled his dirty face, washing streaks along his cheeks.
Lyle froze, not sure how to take it or just scared he too was losing his mind. He glanced back at me as Tyler laughed and cried in the snow.
“The other Last Cities had one of each of us. They just used the same DNA to build their test subjects.”
Lyle stood, offering the blubbering mess that was never our childhood friend, a hand. Tyler took it, shaking his head. “I walked all this way, h-h-h-hoping to find the k-k-kingdom they spoke of.” He sobbed harder. “I-I-I never imagined I w-w-would find y-y-y-you.” He wiped his eyes with dirty hands and slumped against Lyle. “Am I dead? Is this the place we go when we die?”
Lyle pulled him in, hugging him like he was the person we had always known. “No. We are all alive. This place is the second chance we get.” His eyes met mine. His light-brown beard had come in even more since the last time I’d seen him. “This is the chance to get it right.”
I smiled weakly. I didn't know what else to do. I offered my hands to them both. “My parents will want to see you. And Amber is here, but she was never married to you. Just let us explain before you do anything, okay?”
He nodded, wiping his eyes again.
We walked back to my house as Lyle asked his questions I could see burning in his eyes. “There was one of me and Bran and Gwyn? But we’re dead?”
“Yes. I saw you die. The guards shot at Gwyn and you jumped in front of her, taking the first round of fire. She died with you, as you fell. Amber was behind her, she got shot next. But Bran’s still alive though. He and I were on the other side of the street. We couldn't get there fast enough.”
I turned, seeing the hope and fear fighting on Lyle’s face. “He’s alive?”
Tyler nodded, walking to the door with us. “He’s on his way here, I believe. It was the plan after the fall and the trials.”
“Trials?” I asked, pausing and not opening the door as I had nearly done.
“The supreme engineers, planners, and decision makers were all executed by the people who came to free us. They told us to find books in the buildings and remake our city in the old ways. Build a government and such.”
I scowled, completely lost. “Who freed you? Who were the people?”
“People like us. Regular people. They said they had freed their city and came to rescue us from ours. They called us freemen.”
Lyle smiled. “Free men. Free people. Free from slavers and engineers and all the other people in our world who control us.”
Tyler still looked shocked and lost; it was something one got accustomed to in the new world. I clamped down on the handle and opened the door, revealing his face to the occupants of the house. Confusion turned to screaming and panicking which turned to hugging and sobbing. Tyler was lost and home all in the same moment.
I looked at Lyle as we stood in the entrance to the house and smiled. He reached over, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me in. He kissed the side of my head and whispered, “I love you, Gwyn.”
“I know. You died for me.” I nodded against him, closing my eyes and letting the sounds of excitement and confusion drown out the rest of the world.
Redemption
The wedding was beautiful. It was something like we had never experienced before. Even Michael cried when he saw Anna in the white gown. It was the prettiest dress I'd ever seen, similar to the one I had worn to commencement but not as silky, and yet, she was still prettier than anything I had ever seen. She glowed like magic, the magic in the
stories.
As the evening got on and the mulled wine hit our bellies I noticed a change in the room. We stopped being people who had been stripped of everything, people who had been forced to rebuild from the ground up. We started to laugh and dance and smile. When we ate, we didn't gobble our food in a desperate fear we might not eat again for some time, or worry that someone else would come and take it. We relaxed. That was the word for it. Relaxed and let ourselves enjoy the evening.
Even Amber and Tyler grinned at one another. He had lost one version of her, the woman he fell in love with, a pain I knew too well. And I was strangely happy that I could tell he wasn't going to lose this version. He was the perfect match for her and this version of him was humbled from the loss. His vanity had vanished with his wife. He played with Gregory and it seemed as if he were grateful for the baby. The way he spoke of him I could tell he respected my brother, who had been a good man in his version of our city as well. And deep down, I knew it was the fate she had always dreamt of, probably in both versions of her life. Or all versions, however many there were. Tyler was the man of her dreams. He and Lyle had been the perfect guys, the bar to which we measured all others.
But theirs was not the only possible coupling that made me smile. I noticed Murphy and Nan laughing in the corner with a mug of ale or mulled wine each. She slapped him in the arm and he rubbed it, genuinely injured. It brought me a sense of joy to see her laughing. On a day when she had been so sad, she was laughing and probably contemplating our version of cavorting about. His eyes drifted to mine a few times, but I knew once the pain of my final rejection was gone, he would move on. He was a survivor and his feelings for me were never as deep as Lyle’s. Had I been dead in the slaver city he would have mourned me, where Lyle would have gone back and died upon the rocks where I lay.