by E. F. Benson
“Who is to be there?” asked Toby, as they left Paddington.
“Oh, the usual lot: Ted and the rest, and—oh yes, Mrs. Murchison and her daughter.”
Toby looked fixedly out of the window with the idiotic expression on his face, and the dawnings of a very creditable blush. There was silence a moment, and Kit watched him from behind her paper. Toby turned and caught her eye.
“Oh bother you, Kit!” he exclaimed.
Kit laid down the paper and began to laugh.
“And don’t laugh,” said Toby rudely; “it’s all your fault.”
“I should say it was Lily Murchison’s,” remarked Kit.
“Kit, will you be serious a minute?” said he. “I want to say things; I can’t say them, you know, but you are clever—you will understand.”
Kit laid her hand on his arm with a sympathetic pressure of her fingers.
“Dear Toby,” she said, “I understand perfectly, and I am delighted—delighted! It is charming.”
Toby looked very serious.
“Kit, I wish you had never told me to fall in love with her,” he said; “it has spoilt it all. Of course, it is not in consequence of what you said that I have, but I wish you hadn’t suggested it that evening at the Hungarian dance. That she is rich, and that the world knows it, stands in front of me. It is a vile world; it will say I fell in love with her only because of that. Oh, damn!”
Kit was divided between amusement and impatience.
“It has been reserved for you, Toby, to discover that riches are a bar to matrimony,” she observed; “the reverse is usually believed to be the case.”
Toby shook his head. Kit appeared to him quite as tiresome as he to her.
“You don’t understand,” he said.
Kit had a brilliant idea. She saw that Toby wanted to talk about it, so she determined not to talk, but to leave in him a little barbed shaft that might do useful work.
“We’ll not talk about it, Toby,” she said; “I can see you don’t want to. Probably you are not in love at all, just a bit attracted. Get over it as quick as you can, there’s a good boy; it makes you unsocial and distrait. Besides, how often has she seen you? With all your excellent qualities, dear Toby, you are not exactly—well, anything more than quite a poor, pleasant, plain young man. So drop the whole thing; you will neither break your heart nor hers. I have made too much of it, no doubt. I was wrong, I feel sure I was wrong, and I beg your pardon. Oh, there has been a hurricane in Florida! How too terrible!” And she buried herself again behind her paper.
Toby gave a short preoccupied grunt, and subsided into his corner, frowning angrily at the innocent features of the landscape. With all his native modesty and candour, he was not quite of Kit’s way of thinking. The lover’s devotion, which quite honestly swears that he is not fit to be the doormat to the beloved’s boots, sees all the time that there is another possibility, and even in the ecstasy of humiliation aspires to worthier offices. Even while he swears himself a doormat, yet with a magnificent inconsistence he lifts his eyes higher than her boots. Though Toby was all that those tame reptilia, who think that every woman they meet is in love with them, are not, yet he did not at all accept Kit’s suggestion that Lily could not conceivably have anything to say to him. With perfect sincerity he would say he was not worthy, but he was not at all content to have it said for him. Even more absurd was her suggestion that he was not in love himself. Distrait! He should just think he was. And he glared savagely at the outside page of Kit’s Pall Mall.
Just about as they went screaming and swaying through Slough, Kit laid her paper down and yawned elaborately. Through her half-closed eyes she saw Toby glowering darkly at her from the seat opposite, and waited with amused satisfaction the working of her darts.
“Nothing in the paper,” she said.
“I thought there was a famine in Florida,” he observed dryly.
Kit regarded him for a moment in irritating silence.
“Florida is a long way off,” she said at length. “Probably it is only a geographical expression. There are many places and people, Toby, much nearer than Florida.”
The second link in the chain of circumstances which led to Toby’s going punting in the heat was shorter. It occurred that same evening after dinner. Kit was sitting with Mrs. Murchison in the window of the hall, while the others were out on the lawn, when Lily entered, followed by Toby.
“I’m going to bed, mother,” she said. “Good-night, Lady Conybeare; good-night, Lord Evelyn.”
“Let me give you a candle,” said Toby; and they left the room.
Then said Kit very softly, as if to herself: “Poor Toby! Poor dear Toby.”
Mrs. Murchison heard (she was meant to hear). Hence, on the following afternoon she wished for a private conversation with Toby, and at this moment they were in the punt together. Mrs. Murchison was, considered as a conversationalist, a little liable to be discursive, and heat and a heavy lunch combined to emphasize this tendency; they melted her brains, and a perfect stream of information concerning all parts of the globe came rioting out. Besides this natural bent, she considered it best to approach the subject, on which she particularly wanted to talk to Toby, by imperceptible degrees, not run at him with it as if she was a charging Dervish fighting for Allah. This accounts for her saying that the Thames reminded her so much of the Nile.
Now, Toby, like many others, snatched a fearful joy from Mrs. Murchison’s conversation. He saw that the flood-gates were opening, and, with a sigh of delighted anticipation, he said that he supposed it was very like indeed.
“Quite remarkably like, quite,” said Mrs. Murchison, “and the closer you look, the more the simile grows upon you. Dear me, how I enjoyed that winter we spent in Egypt! How often I thought over the psalm, ‘When Israel came out of Egypt’! We spent a fortnight in Cairo first, and what between the dances and the bazaars and the tombs of the Marmadukes, and the excursions, we had plenty to do. I remember so well one ride to the Pyramids of Sahara, where we met a very famous archeologist whose name I forget, but he had red whiskers and a very nervous manner, and showed us over them.”
“That must have been very pleasant,” said Toby.
“Most delicious. Then another day we went to see the tree under which the Virgin Mary sat when she went to Egypt, which was really a remarkable coincidence, because my name is Mary, too, and the guide gave us a leaf from it as a Memento Mary. Ah, dear me, how charming and quaint it all was! Then we went up the river in our own private diabetes and stuck on a sandbank for weeks.”
Toby’s breath caught in his throat for a moment, but he stiffened his risible muscle like a man.
“Didn’t you find that rather tedious?” he asked.
“No, not at all; I was quite sorry when we got off, because the air was so fresh, like champagne, and the sunsets so beautiful, and every evening great flocks of ibexes and pelicans used to fly down to the river to drink. But now I come to think of it, we weren’t there for weeks, but only for an hour or two, and very tiresome it was, as we wanted to get on, and Mr. Murchison’s language— Then at Luxor such sights, the great Colossus of Mammon, and the temples and the hotel gardens. And while we were there some professor or another—not the one with the red whiskers, you must understand—discovered a cylinder covered with cruciform writing, but it seemed to me quite common. And the donkey-boys were so amusing; we used to throw them piazzas, and see them scramble for them.”
“Threw them what?” asked Toby politely.
“Piazzas and half-piazzas. The small silver coin of the country.”
“Oh yes. You must have travelled a good deal.”
“Indeed we have: Mr. Murchison was so devoted to it; I used to call him the Wandering Jew. Then from Egypt we went on to the Holy Land, La Sainte Terre, you know the French call it—so poetical. And we saw Tyre and Sodom and all those places, and where Cicero was killed at the brook Jabbok, and where Elijah went up to heaven, and Damascus—quite lovely!—and the temples of Baalzac
—or was it the temple of Baal?”
“Did you go with one of Cook’s tours?”
“Indeed we did not; it would have spoiled all the poetry and romance to me if we had done that. No, Mr. Murchison took his yacht, so we could go where we pleased and when we pleased and how we pleased. Then from there we went to Athens, and on through the Straits of Messina, and saw that volcano—Hecla, is it not?—and got to Rome for Easter.”
“Rome is delightful, is it not?” said Toby, still playing the part of Greek-play chorus. “I have hardly travelled at all.”
“Most interesting; I quite longed to be one of those poky little professors who spend all their lives hunting for grafficos in the Christian catafalques. I assure you we had quite a Childe Harold-al-Raschid pilgrimage, what with Egypt and all, quite like the Arabian Knight. It was wonderful. Travelling is so opening to the mind; I am sure I never really understood what ‘from Dan even to Beersheba,’ meant until I went and did it too.”
“Did you go to Naples?” asked Toby, who still wanted more.
“Indeed we did, and saw Vesuvio in an eruction. Vesuvius you call it, but, somehow, when one has been to Italy, the Italian point-de-vue seems to strike one more. Dear me, yes! Vesuvio, Napoli—all those names are so much more life-like than Leghorn and Florence. And those queer little dirty picturesque streets in Napoli, where the Gomorrah live! I have often given myself up as murdered.”
A spasm of inward laughter shook Toby like an aspen leaf as this incomparable lady gave him this wonderful example of the widening effects of foreign travel. But it passed in a moment.
“So like the Nile—so like the Nile,” she murmured, as they slewed slowly through beds of water-lilies. “If you can imagine most of the trees taken away, Lord Evelyn, and the remainder changed into palms, and sand instead of meadows, you literally have the Nile. Indeed, the only other difference would be that the water of the Nile is quite thick and muddy, not clear like this, and, of course, the sky is much bluer. Dear Lily, how she enjoyed it!”
“Was Miss Murchison with you?” asked Toby.
Her mother settled herself comfortably in her cushions. This was more like business, and she congratulated herself on the diplomacy she had shown in leading the conversation round so naturally, via Egypt, Palestine, Greece, and Italy, to this point.
“Yes, indeed she was; I never stir anywhere without my sweet Lily. Lily of the valley, I call her sometimes. My precious child! You see, Lord Evelyn, she was brought up in England, and for years I never saw her once. And I shall so soon have to part with her again!”
Toby, who had been leaning over the side of the punt, dabbling his blunt fingers in the cool water, sat up suddenly.
“How is that?” he asked.
“Oh, Lord Evelyn, you nearly upset the boat! These punts are so insecure! Only a plank between us and death. You see, I can’t expect her to live with me always. She will marry. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and the same applies to a woman. I would not have her remain single all her life in order to be near me,” said Mrs. Murchison, with a deep altruistic sigh.
Toby gave a little laugh of relief.
“Oh, I see. For the moment I thought you meant that—that something was already settled.”
“No,” said Mrs. Murchison; “the dear child is not so easy to please. Half London has been at her feet. But dear Lily has nothing to say to them. She sends them empty away, like the Magnificat.”
Mrs. Murchison sighed.
“You are not a mother, Lord Evelyn,” she went on, “and you cannot know all that is in a mother’s heart, though I am sure you are delightfully sympathetic and understanding. I tell you I hardly sleep a wink at night for dreaming of Lily’s future. I want her to marry some Englishman, of course. Some nice pleasant man out of the titled classes. She was born to be titled. I often shut my eyes when I look at her, and say to myself, ‘Some day my darling will go into dinner before her own mother.’ She has had the opportunity many times, and I have wondered lately whether my dearest has not someone in her eye—I should say her heart.”
“I wonder,” said Toby, with marked indifference.
“So like the Nile,” said Mrs. Murchison diplomatically, giving it to be understood that the conversation was still quite general. “But the mysteries of a maiden’s heart, Lord Evelyn!” she sighed. “Lily takes after me; as a child, I was so mysterious that nobody thought I should live.”
“Miss Murchison is not delicate?” asked Toby.
“Dear me, no! Most indelicate. Her health never gave me a moment’s anxiety since she left her cradle. But she is very reticent about some things, and very thoughtful. When I was a child I used to fall in love a hundred times a day; it may have been Vanderbilt or a postman, and I used to put down their initials in a little green morocco pocket-book; but I never used to tell anyone about it, just like Lily. But you can see by her forehead how thoughtful she is, like Marie Antoinette. Doesn’t Tennyson speak of the ‘bar of Marie Antoinette’? She has it most marked above the eyes.”
Toby’s ignorance of “In Memoriam” was even less profound than Mrs. Murchison’s knowledge of it, and he only murmured that he seemed to remember it, which was not true.
“Thoughtful and pensive,” said Mrs. Murchison. “Dear child! How she looked forward to coming down here! And so gay at times. And never, Lord Evelyn,” said Mrs. Muchison very earnestly, “has she said an unkind word to me.”
By this time Toby had already turned the punt round, and was propelling it deftly back towards the lawn.
“Yes, if I could see her nicely married to some such man,” said Mrs. Murchison, growing bolder. “I should be content to lie like some glorious Milton in a country churchyard. Dear me, how lovely the river is, and so like the Nile! Well, I suppose we must be going back; it should be near tea-time. I have so enjoyed my little excursion with you, Lord Toby—I beg your pardon, Lord Evelyn; and what a pleasant chat we have had, to be sure!”
And the good, kind, excellent, worldly woman beamed at Toby’s brown face.
Toby never wasted time in making resolutions. Instead, he went and did the thing; and now he walked cheerfully up to the group on the lawn with his coat on his arm, and inquired if anyone had seen Miss Murchison.
“Because perhaps she would like to go for a bit in the punt,” he explained.
She was not there; vague people had seen her vaguely, “some time ago”; and the advent of tea made him wait, not because he wanted tea, but because his chance of finding her was better at a well-defined centre.
The rest of the party was spending Sunday afternoon in various orthodox manners: Lord Comber was abstaining from a pile of yellow French novels he had brought out, Kit was sleeping peacefully with her mouth open in a long deck-chair, Jack was throwing sticks into the water for the spaniels, and Lady Haslemere was in her bedroom (a recognised Sunday resort, like a public garden). But tea brought everyone flocking together, like eagles to a carcass, and among them came Lily.
Toby had not seen her come out through the drawing-room window; her step on the velvet of the grass was noiseless, and it was not till she was close to the table that he looked up. Then their eyes met, black eyes and blue; and so chance a meeting, a thing which had happened a dozen times before in the course of a meal, seemed strangely to disconcert each. The most simple of all changes had come over Toby; Mrs. Murchison’s words had fired his inflammable material—it was all ablaze. And that beacon must have shone from his honest open eyes, for Lily saw the change that none other saw, the private signal flying for her; and when, soon afterwards, he lounged up to her, and asked her if she would care to go out in the punt, as it was cooler now, she knew, so she thought afterwards, what was coming.
She assented, and the two went down over the close-shaven lawn to where it was moored.
CHAPTER XI
MR. ALINGTON OPENS CHECK
Kit, like most people who possess that master-key to immense enjoyment of life, namely, a ravenous, insatiable app
etite for pleasure, had always a vital instinct to put off as long as possible anything which was unpleasant. She usually found plenty of delightful things to do every day of her life; indeed, with her tremendous joie de vivre, almost everything she did was delightful, and if there was something not delightful to be done, as a rule she did not do it. In this complicated hurly-burly of life, it is a great thing to be able to simplify, as in the tutor-ridden days one used to simplify the huge vulgar fractions which covered the page, and turned out in the end to be equivalent to zero. Kit’s methods of simplification were really notable; she cut out everything which looked as if it would give trouble, and did not care in the slightest degree about the result. And if you do not care about the result, life, like vulgar fractions and the wicked, ceases from troubling.
But occasionally, so cruelly conducted is this world, she was driven to take odiously disagreeable steps, for fear of the speedy and inevitable disaster which would attend their omission. There were also certain prophylactic measures she used habitually to take, just as one goes to the dentist to avoid possible toothache in the future. Under the latter head came such small affairs as bazaar-openings and tedious “Grundy” dinners; also the yearly visit to Jack’s uncle, who was a Bishop—a grim ordeal, but efficacious. They gave one a firmer stand, so to speak. It would have argued a shocking lack of worldly wisdom to neglect such simple little things, and whatever Kit lacked, she had an admirable amount of that. But the avoidance of unpleasantness in the greed for the pleasures of the moment led her constantly to put off distasteful things, in the same way in which one puts off the writing of letters, blindly hoping that if they are left unanswered long enough they will, in a manner of speaking, answer themselves. This charming result is often attained, but sometimes it is not, whereby the children of Eve are disconcerted.