“Emma…” Sarah’s words drifted off and she cast a loving gaze to her son now sleeping in his crib. “I understand. For a moment, I had forgotten what it felt like to be lost and without hope. And what it felt like when someone who had no connection to you, someone who owed you nothing, offered you their whole world. Quinn did that for Becca and me and that’s what you’re doing for Colin. If you’re sure this is what you need to do, then I will support your decision and pray that you and Colin can find your way to a happy future.”
Emma exhaled a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Sarah. You don’t know how much that means—“
“But if things don’t go as planned, I want you to know that you always have a place to come back to. Promise me if things don’t work out, you won’t let your pride put you in harm’s way. You’ll come back here to Angel Creek.” Sarah pleaded with her.
“I promise. Now, I need to find Colin before he leaves town without me.” She kissed Sarah on the cheek, and they shared a heartfelt hug before Emma pushed away. “I really must go. Tell Becca that I will write to her as often as I can. And let Quinn know that I’ll take really good care of his brother.”
“I’ll tell him. Now go.”
Emma left the nursery and gathered her things that she had left at the top of the landing. Hurrying down the stairs, she paused in the foyer and turned to survey her surroundings. She was taking a big risk in leaving the security of this place to go with Colin to parts unknown. But then she took another look around. She wanted this for herself and Colin. A home. Children. A place to put down roots. One day she would have that with Colin. Somehow, she just knew it.
Emma opened the door and stepped outside into the brisk morning air. “I hope you’re listening, God, because I really could use a Christmas miracle this year.”
Colin had managed to sleep a few hours in the back stall of Willie’s stables before he arrived at the bank and withdrew some of the money Quinn had deposited from their family’s estate. He didn’t need much. Just enough to carry him over for a few weeks and pay Willie for the sturdy buckskin gelding and tack.
He wasn’t certain what he would do after that. He supposed he could go back to drinking himself to death in a rat infested saloon. The thought held little appeal to him now. Why? He wondered. His men were still dead, and he still felt responsible. Nothing had changed there, and yet he knew that wasn’t quite right. Something had changed since he had come to Angel Creek. And that something was Emma coming into his life.
Colin pushed the thought of her out of his head and threw the saddle blanket and saddle over the back of his horse. He pulled the leather cinch strap through the ring and looped in three or four times until it was short enough to pull snug against the gelding’s chest. Tying it off, Colin adjusted the stirrups to fit his long legs and tied his blanket and saddlebags to the back of the saddle. He was ready to go and yet he hesitated.
“Looks like you’re leavin' town. Going anywhere special?” Colin turned to see a man standing in the alleyway of the stables. He hadn’t heard him enter in spite of Willie’s creaking doors. Colin chalked it up to his preoccupation with getting out of Angel Creek before his brother—or someone else—found him and made it harder for him to leave.
“No, nowhere special,” Colin replied and turned back to the task at hand. It was obvious by the stranger’s clothing and tattered look he was homeless. Perhaps he was one of the men Colin had seen sleeping in the back door of the saloon.
“Got no family here in town?” the man asked.
“Yeah, I got family here,” Colin replied. The man’s questions seemed odd coming from a man needing so much. Shouldn’t he be asking for money instead of inquiring about Colin’s family? He found that odd, but no matter. The man was probably a little touched in the head anyway.
"You?” he asked, even though he was certain the man didn’t, or he wouldn’t be in such a bad way.
“I got family everywhere.” The man’s answer surprised him.
“Really?” He wanted to ask the man why he was in such a bad way if he had family here, but it was none of his business. Besides, a man couldn’t have family everywhere so his first impression was probably right. The man was touched in the head.
Colin didn’t reply and turned to finish loading his supplies into his saddlebags. When he was finished, he gathered up his horse’s reins.
“Well, I guess I better be going. I got a long ride to…” He didn’t know which direction he was headed. Guess he’d decide that when his rear end hit the saddle.
“So, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you leaving town before Christmas if you got family here? Ain’t they gonna miss you? Ain’t you gonna miss them?” Now the man was getting downright personal. Colin didn’t answer the man’s question. Instead, he checked the saddle’s cinch again and turned to lead his horse out the stable doors.
“You look familiar, son. Do I know you?”
“I don’t think so. I’m new in town and…”
“You and Sheriff Cassidy’s kin, ain’t you? You and he look a lot alike.”
“You know the sheriff?” Colin figured his brother had locked the man up a time or two.
“Yeah, he’s a good man. He and I talk quite regular.”
The man’s answer caught Colin by surprise for the second time. “Really, you and my brother are friends?”
“I’ve known Quinn a long time.”
Colin wasn’t convinced, but he’d go along. “What’s your name, stranger? In case I run into Quinn, I can say hello for you.”
The man stuck out his hand. “I gotta lot of names. Why don’t you must call me J.C.”
Colin shook the man’s hand and he found himself warming up to the stranger. A minute ago, he couldn’t wait to ride out of town. Now, he didn’t feel the urgency as before. Strange.
“You never said where you were riding off to. Must be someplace important to leave your family behind.” His words were innocent enough but there was an understanding in the man’s eyes that made Colin wonder just how much he knew.
“Yeah, I guess.” It wasn’t important to him where he was going. It was just important that he left… or at least it had been. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He needed to get out of here. “It’s good to make your acquaintance, J.C.,” Quinn said to the man and he found he actually meant it. But why? He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the man brought him a sense of peace he hadn’t felt since...
“You and Quinn close?”
“We were. Once. We’ve grown apart since the war, but Quinn and I’ve been through…a lot together.”
“Is that right? You a Union man?” he asked
Colin’s defenses kicked in. “Why do you want to know?”
“No reason. I know Quinn fought on the Union side of the war. I just figured since you was his brother you might’ve too.”
Colin studied the man for an ulterior motive to his questions. But the man’s expression was open, so he took him at his word.
“Yeah, I fought for the North. And you?” Colin wasn’t sure why he was still standing here. He needed to get on his horse and ride out, but something held him in place. It was like there was something he was supposed to be doing and he couldn’t remember what it was.
“Nah, me and my family was just caught in the middle. We lived in the Shenandoah Valley. Had me a farm there, me and my boys. Didn’t want no part of that war. We figured it was just a bunch of rich politicians arguing about something that we wasn’t involved in. We tried to stay out of it for a while, but war has a way of pulling you in and making you do things whether you want to or not.”
“Yeah, it does.” Colin understood the man’s point all too well. “You said you had sons. Where are they now? Still in Shenandoah Valley?” Colin asked.
The sad look on the man’s face foretold of his answer making Colin wish he hadn’t asked the question. “Yeah, they’re still there. Buried under the same ground they used to farm. My wife, my two boys, their wives, and my six grandch
ildren…all gone.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, it’s been rough. When Yanks and Rebels finally left, there was nothing left but scorched land and eleven gravestones. I couldn’t take the guilt, so I packed up what little was left and headed west. That’s how I ended up here in Angel Creek.”
“Guilt? What did you have to feel guilty about? You said you didn’t fight in the war, so how is what happened your fault?” Colin found he really wanted to hear the man’s answer. Colin knew a thing or two about what guilt could do to a man’s soul.
“I didn’t say it was my fault. Twernt nothing I coulda done to fight off all those soldiers. And we had no place else to go, but I thought I could just sit out the war and pretend it wasn’t my fight. Turns out if you don’t make a choice, a choice will be made for you. As it were, it was my fight after all, and I waited too late to choose.”
Colin’s heartbeat hiccupped as the man’s story resonated with his own. “Even if you had chosen one side over the other, what makes you think you could have saved your family. It was war.”
“Didn’t say I coulda done something to change any of it. I said it was my guilt at not being able to protect my family I couldn’t stand. But none of it was my fault. Couldn’t have done nothing to change any of it.”
Colin heard the man’s words and wondered how the man could feel guilt knowing there was nothing he could have done to change things. He thought about his own guilt and wondered if he really could have changed the outcome of that day. He’d like to think he could have, but…
“Then if you know you couldn’t have changed anything…you couldn’t have saved them…why do you feel so guilty?”
“Because that’s what a man does when he can’t stop something bad from happening to decent folks. It’s what’s makes us human. That’s why God sent His son to us on Christmas Day. To show us that sometimes bad things happen in this world. Bad things that we have no control over.”
Colin’s eyes burned with unshed tears. “Why then does God allow bad things to happen to good people? I don’t understand. If he loves us, why doesn’t he protect us? Why can’t he stop these bad things from happening to good people?”
“That’s not for us to know, Colin. God always has a plan and only he knows the when and where. Besides, he gave us all free choice and he’s not gonna take that away just because we make bad choices. He wants us to learn from those choices.”
“I just wish people didn’t have to suffer because of other people’s bad choices, that’s all.”
The man reached out and touched Colin on the arm. “God’s job is to offer us a place to come to when we are going through hard times. He helps us through the pain and suffering, but only if we ask him for help. We have stop trying to do it all ourselves.”
“But how do you know…for sure?” Colin somehow trusted this stranger. He couldn’t put his finger on it but there was something about his presence that gave Colin a sense of peace.
“Because God made a promise to us and the only thing, we have to do is believe in his word.”
Colin’s chest swelled with a sense of renewed hope. Could it be that simple? Could it be true that he was not at fault that day? He wished he knew for certain if his choices could have made a difference for those men? Things would be so much easier if he could just believe, but....
Colin turned away from the man and busied himself with adjusting his saddle. He probably should get going. Quinn would be coming around soon and he didn’t know if he could say goodbye again.
“Colin?” Emma’s voice startled him.
He whirled around to see Emma standing behind him. And she was alone. “What are you doing here? And…where is the man that was just here?” He squinted his eyes and gazed around the dark interior of the stables. But he saw no sign of the stranger he had been talking to only moments ago.
“What man?” Emma turned and followed his gaze. “There was no man when I arrived. There’s no one here at all except you,” she assured him.
“But there was a man. He was wearing ragged clothes and his hair was dirty. And he had a beard. He said his name was J.C. and he was friends with Quinn. He said he has family in Angel Creek. He was just here, I swear it.”
Chapter 20
Emma saw the look of confusion on Colin’s face as he handed her his horse’s reins and walked up and down the stable aisle peeking in every stall looking for the man he seemed so desperate to find.
“Colin? Are you alright? Did the man say something to upset you? Perhaps we can go find him in town somewhere,” she offered hoping to ease his anxiety. He came back to stand next to her, confusion on his face.
“I don’t know, Emma. Maybe I’m losing my mind, but I swear to you, I was talking to a man seconds before you came in.” She could tell he believed what he was saying but she had no explanation for the disappearance of the mysterious man.
“Colin, come over here and sit down. You’ve had a long night and you’ve not been taking care of yourself. Sometimes—”
“I’m not imagining things, Emma. He and I were having a conversation. He said his name was J.C. and he was a friend of Quinn’s. He said he had a family and they were all killed in the war. And he said…” She heard Colin’s voice filled with emotion trail off.
“Tell me what he said, Colin.”
He looked at her with tears in his eyes. “He said he and his family were caught in the middle of the war. They lived in the Shenandoah Valley on a farm. And then both sides collided on his land and he lost everything and everyone he cared about.”
“Oh, Colin. That must have been so hard to hear.” Emma pulled his hand into hers and squeezed.
“It was. He said he couldn’t take the guilt so he packed up and moved west.”
Emma frowned in confusion. “Guilt? But it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t save his family. There was a war going on around them. They were bound to get caught up in—"
Colin shook his head. “I know. I asked him why he felt guilty when it wasn’t his fault they were killed. He said he knew it wasn’t his fault. He said he couldn’t do nothin’ about any of it.”
Emma struggled to understand what Colin was trying to say. “But if he wasn’t at fault, then why did he feel so guilty?”
“I asked him the same question.”
“And what did he say?”
“He said that’s what a man does when he can’t stop something bad from happening to good folks. It’s what’s makes us human. That’s why all we have to do is ask Him for grace and mercy in getting’ through the bad stuff...the bad stuff too hard to get through on our own.”
Emma turned to him with hope shining in her eyes. “Colin, are you saying that you have had a change of heart?”
“I’m saying that I know now that I did all I could to save those men. No matter what choice I made that day, I couldn’t have saved them. It wasn’t within my control.”
Colin stood and pulled her into his arms. “Emma, I know I’ve got a lot to make up for and I probably won’t live long enough to see it all done, but I’m gonna try to make up for all the time I’ve wasted. I’m gonna try my best to live a life that’s worthy of this second chance that I…that we…have been given.”
Emma’s heart fluttered in her chest. “Oh, Colin, please tell me you mean it. I couldn’t bear it if you changed your mind.”
“I mean every word of it, Emma. I can see what I need to do and now that I understand God’s plan for me, I’m gonna get right to it. That is, if I can count on you?”
“Of course you can count on me. What do we need to do first?” Whatever Colin asked of her, she was ready and willing to do it.
“First, we need to get married.”
“Married?” Emma couldn’t believe this was happening. Not after everything he had said to her last night.
“Yes, that is, if you can see yourself hitched to a cantankerous, opinionated old fool.“
“And stubborn?” She grinned to let him know she was teasing.
>
He grinned back, joy shining in his eyes. “Yes, and stubborn. But I swear I will work on that.”
Colin pulled her into his arms and gazed down at her, his love for her shining in his eyes. “I can’t go through this world without you by my side, Emma. I believe this is why God brought me here to Angel Creek. This was his plan for me…for us…all along.”
Emma’s tears pooled in her eyes making it hard to see Colin’s face. “I would love to be your wife, Colin.”
She saw his joy and sent a silent prayer heavenward thanking the Good Lord for his blessings.
“We got our Christmas miracle, didn’t we, Emma. He came in the form of a stranger in a stable. It sounds silly, I know. But I’m convinced that the man I was talking to before you arrived…the man who simply disappeared into thin air…was sent by God to help me. I think I just stopped believing in God’s love, and grace, and mercy but now I’m just grateful…”
Emma watched Colin’s emotions overwhelm him and she pulled him close. She wanted to hold him for the rest of her life. Did it matter whether there really was a man in the stable or not? No, she decided. As long as Colin believed it, that was all that mattered.
“Yes, my darling, we got our Christmas miracle.”
Epilogue
Two weeks later…
Emma sat next to her new husband and listened to the preacher give his Christmas Eve sermon. Colin squeezed her hand and she squeezed his back. She was so happy, she could barely contain her emotions.
Everyone in Angel Creek had come to the church to worship and celebrate the Christ child’s birthday. It was a Christmas Emma would always remember.
“Are you looking forward to your Christmas present tomorrow, my dear wife?” Colin whispered in her ear. His breath caressed her ear sending shivers of desire through her body.
She turned to look at him. “I thought we weren’t going to give each other presents.”
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