by Amy Brent
"To you?" I stuttered, staring at him wide-eyed, "Jonah, this has nothing to do with you. This is between me and Leo."
“No, it isn’t. I’m your brother. We’ll get through this, together. Whatever you want to do, we’ll get through this.”
He was giving me an expectant look and it took me a moment to realize his meaning but when I did I gasped again before narrowing my gaze.
“I am keeping this baby, Jonah. And I will give it every bit of love I have to give.”
He threw his hands up in the air, “I’m just saying it’s your choice, that’s all. I’ll support you either way.”
“But you think I’m making a mistake?” I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my tone as I voiced my question, “Just another mistake in a long line of fuck ups, right?”
“No! Quinn, that’s not…I don’t think you’re a fuck up, alright? If anything, this is my fault!”
"Your fault," I repeated his words, shaking my head in disbelief. "Listen to me, Jonah, Leo is the father of this baby. And I'm…I'm in love with him. I'll love him for the rest of my life. That wasn't a mistake, even if it hurts me now, and it sure as hell wasn't your fault, got it?”
But Jonah kept on talking as if he hadn't even heard me, "If I hadn't been so busy if I had realized sooner what had been going on…"
“You would have, what? Kicked him out of town sooner? Broken us apart sooner? Driven away the man I love sooner? Get over yourself, Jonah.”
I turned away with a deep, angry sigh, my feet taking me back to the couch and I sat with another huff of irritation. The nerve. To think that this is at all about him when in reality it had everything to do with me, Leo, and the baby growing inside me.
I didn’t realize that Jonah was still in the room with me until I felt the opposite end of the couch dip under his weight as he sat with a heavy exhale beside me.
“I’m sorry, sis.” He said after a long moment, and it felt like all the tension I’d been holding inside of me went out with a rush and all that was left was exhaustion. I was too tired to argue. Too tired to do anything but what I’d always done my entire life. Lean against my big brother for support when things got tough.
“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to be such a brat.”
“You can’t help it.” Jonah teased and I slapped his shoulder but I couldn’t help the tearful laugh.
“I know it doesn’t make sense, Jonah, but…I already love this baby. I was so terrified when that old doctor told me I was pregnant. I didn’t believe him. But a part of me knew he was telling the truth, and that part of me knew right away. Whoever they are, whoever they grow up to be, I love the little guy.”
“Or girl.” Jonah added with a small smile, but then his expression faded growing serious as he held one hand in his, “Quinn, you’re nothing like mom. You know that, right?”
My breath hitched painfully at his words, the worst of my fears being dragged into the light as I met his gaze.
"But what if I am? What if I end up just like her? A selfish, self-centered screw-up?"
“That’s never going to happen.”
“What about Leo? I have to tell him. It’s his baby too.” Jonah’s green gaze shuttered at my word and he looked away.
“Don’t worry, Q, we’ll figure this out together.”
I nodded, my thoughts troubled but I remained silent. There wasn’t anything else to say.
Chapter 26
Leo
“Hey there. Now aren’t you just a tall drink of water,” the cute brunette said as she sauntered up to the bar. I shot her a slow smile but I didn’t mean it, “You new to town?”
"I'm just passing through," I said, leaning forward with my elbows propped on the worn top of the wooden bar. It had been easy enough to get a bartender gig with my experience and the manager hadn't asked many questions. I got the feeling I wasn't the only drifter this small, rural town had seen and I probably wouldn't be the last.
"Well, that's a shame." She leaned in a little closer, her bottle blond hair sliding over her shoulder as she sent him a cat-like grin, "How long are you here for? Long enough to have some fun?"
I smiled, a retort rising to my lips easily. Sure, sugar. I always have time for fun. But it stuck in my throat, choking me and instead I turned away, grabbing a glass.
“Sorry. Won’t be here that long.” I watched her grin fade and got the feeling she wasn’t used to being turned down. “What can I get you to drink?”
“A Cosmo.” She said, her tone no longer purring and edged with a harshness I hadn’t seen at first. “If you’ll be here long enough to make one.”
“I think I can manage.” I huffed out a breath of relief as I walked away. Did I really used to be interested in women like that? I knew the truth. A few short months ago, I would have smiled at her invitation and taken her to the back storage room, and then taken her everywhere else before bidding her goodbye with a smile of my own. It seemed so hollow now, filling me with a sense of emptiness that ate at me from the inside out.
I glanced back from the corner of my eye, seeing her scope out the rest of the bar now that I was off her hook, taking in the platinum, icy blond hair and considering gaze. The total opposite of Quinn.
Quinn was bright sunlight and warmth and goodness, even when she was being wicked as sin. Especially when she was being wicked as sin, I thought to myself with a small, sad smile. It had been over a week since I’d left and I couldn’t keep my thoughts on anyone or anything but here.
I’d only made it about forty miles out of Coral Springs before pulling into the nearest town. And I hadn’t been able to leave since. I couldn’t make myself put any more distance between us. It hurt too much.
The moment I’d left, I’d known it was a huge mistake to leave without talking to Quinn first. Another thing that had kept me up at nights, lying in bed, wondering if things would have gone differently if I had just answered the fucking phone. If I had just stayed.
You couldn’t have stayed. Losing the bed and breakfast would have destroyed Quinn. I knew it was true. But it didn’t make one bit of it any easier to swallow. If anything, it made the knife-like pain I’d been walking around with stab just a little bit deeper. Because I hadn’t even tried.
I had just given up at Jonah’s threat and walked away without another word, without even explaining. Without saying goodbye.
I have to make it right. Somehow. Any way I can. I have to try at least. The thought echoed through my head and I could feel the truth of it in my bones.
“Hey, handsome, can I get another?” The girl sitting at the bar who wasn’t Quinn asked and I stared at her for a long moment, not moving, not speaking, as a plan started to form in my head. It might be the dumbest thing in the world to do, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’d made a mistake, and now I needed to fucking fix it.
I almost shook my head at myself. For the first time in my life, I was running towards my past, rather than away from it. Damn, she'd changed me more than I ever realized. And if I was being honest with myself, I liked it. I liked the new man I'd become with her. A better man.
“Uh, hello?”
“Sorry,” I said, not a hint of regret in my voice, “I have to go.”
“Excuse me?” She huffed, rolling her eyes but I didn’t care. I needed to do the right thing, and I couldn’t wait another minute.
I untied the black apron I was wearing, throwing it on the bar and walked out in the middle of my shift. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except getting back to Quinn and explaining everything that had happened. Hopefully she could find it in her heart to forgive me, but either way, I had to try. I couldn’t go on like this, every moment spent thinking of her, regretting what I had done.
What about Jonah? A small voice whispered in my head as I walked out but I shrugged it off. I would deal with Jonah when the time came. If luck was on my side, he would be at Lucky’s, where he normally was at on a Saturday evening. Hopefully, I wouldn’
t even have to see him.
You hope that he doesn’t see you, you mean. That voice said again, a small hushed insidious thought. I ignored it as best I could. Whatever the consequences, I would deal with them then. All I knew what that I needed to see Quinn, now.
I didn’t let myself think any deeper about what I was doing as I left the bar and walked straight to my truck. I started the engine, my mind buzzing but not focusing on any one thought as I pulled out of the gravel parking lot and a few minutes later I was leaving the small town behind and on my way back to Coral Springs.
I didn't stop as I drove into town, passing the now familiar main street. I saw Lucky's out of the corner of my eye and felt a poignant pang of something I'd never felt before. I was homesick. Not homesick for a place, but for a person. For Quinn.
The realization tore through me, terrifying me, but I pushed my foot down on the accelerator as I drove towards the old apartment building she lived in. I smiled softly, remembering how she told me about the cranky landlady who lived on the second floor and the quirks of the drafty, rundown building.
She’d been planning on converting a part of the Mayhew house into a small apartment and office that she would stay in. Quinn had been so excited about it, and the memory of her bright smile hurt like a physical pain in my chest.
I barely waited to park my truck before jumping out and shuffling nervously to the front door. I knocked a few times, flakes of peeling paint falling off from the vibration. Then, I waited. It was the longest fifteen seconds of my life, standing there in front of Quinn's apartment. I didn't breathe. I just stood there frozen, until the doorknob jingled and then the hinges creaked slowly open.
Any breath that was left in my lungs rushed out in a painful gasp as I met Jonah’s angry green gaze.
He was the last person I wanted to see, and the last person who wanted to see me but I was already there. I had to at least try.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jonah demanded, his voice hard and edged with a rage that obviously hadn’t cooled in the last week. If anything, he seemed even more pissed off.
I took a deep breath, weighing my words carefully. I was still healing from the last bruises he gave me. “I need to see Quinn. I need to explain why I left. I need…I need to say goodbye, at least.”
“No, you don’t.” Jonah said shortly, moving to slam the door in my face, but I put out my hand, stopping it before he could.
“Please, Jonah. If she’s here, just let me talk to her. Let me tell her that I lo–.”
“You’re too late. She’s with someone else.”
"What?" I asked, shocked, my body filling with a bone-deep pain at Jonah's words. "What the fuck are you talking about."
Jonah shrugged casually, “As soon as you left, she started dating one of the Brewer boys. She’s over you, Leo. You should just leave her alone.”
“Right, you just let her date someone else after beating the shit out of me?” I snorted, and Jonah gave me a hard look.
“You’re not the right man for her, Leo. You’re a player and you would have broken her heart. As soon as you got bored, you’d have dumped her and moved on to the next available female.”
“It’s not…She’s not like that.”
“You’re right. She’s not. She deserves better than your sorry ass.” For a moment, Jonah opened his mouth as if he was about to say something else but then shook his head.
“Can you tell her I came to see her, at least?”
“For once in your life, do the right thing,” Jonah said after a long silence, “And leave Quinn the hell alone. If I see you again, the property is sold. Your choice.”
The door slammed shut and I didn’t stop it this time. I stood there staring at the peeling paint for a long moment before forcing my suddenly numb body to move. It felt like my chest had been ripped open and my heart was left bloody and beating on the front stoop of the apartment building as I walked back to the truck.
I guess there was no way of fixing this mistake. I’d fucked up too bad, I was too late. I shook my head, a part of me still not believing Jonah’s words but there was nothing else for me to do except get back in my truck and drive away, leaving my heart behind me.
Chapter 27
Quinn
“No, no, to the left a little more.”
“Right?”
“Right.” I nodded and then held up my hands, waving them in the air, “No! To the left!”
“Left? But you said right.”
“I said left.”
“And then you said right.” Luke Brewer growled, him and his brother’s all glaring at me under the weight of the large, and extremely heavy, framed painting that I’d snagged from the local antique shop for a few dollars.
“I meant right, as in it was in the right spot,” It was my turn to growl as I pointed some more, “Now, move it back to the left.”
“Here?”
“Yes, right…about…there. Right. I mean correct! Damn it.” I closed my eyes for a moment, “Just hang it there, okay?”
“Whatever you say,” Danny huffed, “You’re the boss.”
I had to resist the urge to kick the ladder out from under all three of them but I restrained myself, instead resting my head in the palm of my hand as they hung the artwork.
"Rough day?" Lily asked, appearing at my side like a waif out nowhere. It was a special talent she had, sneaking up on people. I jumped and then sent her a glare but there was no real anger behind it.
“More like a rough month.”
“Tea?” Lily asked, holding out one of the small, porcelain cups she always seemed to have on her. “It’s good for the baby.”
I glanced at the liquid dubiously, “You swear it’s just tea, right?”
“Green tea with a splash of honey. That’s all. I promise.”
After a moment I took it, inhaling the scent before taking a tentative taste. I could never be sure with Lily and her concoctions. I swore I could still taste that ‘love’ potion. And it didn’t even work. Leo still left. The thought brought an aching wave along with it that rolled through me, slow and thorough.
It had been a month since the last time I’d seen him and still, it was like a wound that wouldn’t heal. It was still raw and open and tender. I’d thrown myself into work at the property, hoping it would help but thoughts of him still sprang on me at unsuspecting moments. Like now.
“Everything is really coming together, Quinn,” Lily was saying and I had to fight to focus on her words, and not the gaping hole inside me that threatened to swallow me. “You should be proud of yourself.”
"Proud of us, you mean," Charlotte, clad in her traditional black on black ensemble wiped the sweat off her forehead as she dropped the heavy toolbox on the floor by the other myriad of tools. "We've been doing all the work."
I shot her a sharp stare but Lily jumped in, diffusing the situation with a sweet smile.
“We’ve all been working hard. None of this would have even happened without Quinn’s vision.”
“Yeah, and my blisters.” Charlotte said with a roll of her eyes, but then she relented, “Lily’s right though. It really is looking good. Not at all like the dilapidated death trap it started out as.”
“Thanks, Charlotte.” I snorted on a bark of laughter.
"You know, I think all of our hard work deserves a little bit of a reward, don't you?" One of the Brewer brothers said as they walked over to join us. The only one missing from our little ragtag group was Finn. He had been mysteriously absent ever since a hushed but heated conversation between him and Lily a few weeks ago. He'd stomped out of the house and I hadn't seen him since.
I looked around at these people who had all worked their asses off to help me and I felt tears suddenly threaten behind my eyelids. Damn pregnancy hormones, I thought to myself, trying to fight back the wave of moisture. I’m not going to cry. I’m not. Not now. Not here. Not in front of everybody. Especially Charlotte.
That last th
ought helped to pull me back from the edge.
"I think we definitely deserve a reward." Danny was saying, wiping his hands off on his already dust and paint-stained jeans "Who wants a drink? Lucky's?"
I flinched at the sound of the bar that I hadn’t stepped into since that terrible day in Leo’s emptied out apartment.
“I don’t know…” I tried to protest but was quickly overturned as the rest of the group voiced their excitement.
“Oh, come on. You can’t just work all the time.”
“Yeah, you have to have fun too. All work and no play makes Quinn a dull girl.”
I rolled my eyes at the onslaught, “What’s the point? It’s not like I can drink. Obviously.” I nodded to my stomach that was beginning to show, a tiny bump visible under my shirt.
Lily threw an arm around me, leading me towards the door despite my protests, "Come with us, Quinn. You're our fearless leader. We wouldn't dream of going out without you."
“Speak for yourself,” Charlotte snorted, earning a hard stare from me but finally I gave in with an irritated sigh.
“You’re not going to stop until I agree, are you?”
“Nope.” Lily shot me a shameless grin, still shooing me outside and pointing towards her awful yellow car, “I’ll even drive.”