He chuckled quietly. “Would you like some water?”
“Yes, please.”
The bed shifted when he climbed off. I had enough presence of mind to open my eyes and watch him walk toward the small bar to grab the water bottles. I will never get over how freaking hot he is. My body responded with a subtle tingle and a faint pleasurable throb.
“That smile will only encourage me to give a repeat performance.” He smirked, handing me the water.
“Must be nice to be able to walk around freely after all that.”
“You dozed off for a few minutes so you clearly missed me lying paralyzed next to you.”
“I did?”
“Yep. Passed out cold.”
Alastair had a sip of his water and curled up close to me, resting his hand on my stomach. Sporting the ruffled hair and satisfied expression of a guy who’d just had great sex, he lowered his heavy lids, his long lashes splaying out above his cheeks. A faint smile curled his mouth.
“You’re still staring,” he said, pressing his fingers into the soft flesh of my stomach.
“You’re still so goddam beautiful.”
“Mmm.” He wrapped himself around me like a vine. I loved being draped in him. I felt so protected and safe. And he smelled amazing. He nuzzled into my neck, squeezing me tighter. “Stay close to me.”
“Any closer and we’d be conjoined twins.”
“Cheeky.” He opened his eyes. “And gorgeous. What have I gotten myself into with you?”
“Nothing you can’t handle, chief.”
The sight of his genuine, effortless smile lit up my soul. I knew, without question, I was the reason for his happiness.
“What this look does to me,” I said, touching his cheek.
“So that’s all it takes, huh? A soppy grin after a roll in the sack?”
“Among other things, smart ass.”
He pressed a kiss to my nose and laughed. My God, it was such a wonderful sound. I didn’t want to say anything more. I didn’t want to tarnish this moment with superfluous words that couldn’t possibly explain how I felt.
“You’re so deep in thought, kitten.” His husky tone had me firing on all cylinders once again.
“I just really love seeing you this way. You’re so happy and playful and carefree and…” I struggled to find the right thing to say. “There’s so much to love about you and…I hope you hold onto this feeling whenever you want to withdraw or shut out the world.”
His eyes opened wider and wider the more I spoke. Flustered, I sighed.
“I’m not saying any of this right. That’s why I must have looked so deep in thought. I can’t find the words, I can only lose myself in the feeling.”
Cupping my jaw, he swallowed hard and blew out a shaky sigh. For a split second I was terrified I’d let my mouth run too wild and he’d shrink back into his shell like he always did. To my immense pleasure, he secured his hold around me, resting his forehead to mine.
“I was thinking we could visit your sister tomorrow, seeing as we’re in town. Would you like that?”
I hadn’t seen my sister Dayna in months. I’d love nothing more than to spend some time with her.
“Sounds like a plan,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Does she already know about our engagement, too?”
“Maybe.”
“Is there anybody in my family that you didn’t tell and then swear to secrecy?”
“No.” He flashed his megawatt smile. “They’re all quite excited for us.”
“You stole my thunder, Holden. That’s a no-no.”
“I’m sure I can find a way to make it up to you.” Desire burned in my throat as he drew nondescript shapes on my stomach and devoured me with dark, molten eyes. “Have I told you how absolutely exquisite you are? I could admire you like this for hours.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere. So will those cheeseburgers you promised me.”
“I have a better idea.” He stood up, slipping on some cotton pajama bottoms. “Feel free to join me.”
“Sure thing.” I hopped out of bed and rummaged through the closet for something to wear. As per usual, Alastair had an arsenal of clothes at the ready for both of us. I’d long since given up asking where it all came from. Instead of choosing one of the little silk nighties he liked so much, I opted for one of his button down shirts. There was something indescribably sexy about wearing his clothes. The shirt hung on me like a mini dress. I even had to roll up the sleeves.
I trotted out to the main sitting area and perched on the back of the oversized chair. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Alastair raked me with his eyes before answering. “Of course.”
“While you were away I was sort of looking through that book shelf in the living room.” I paused, gauging his reaction. As usual, there was none. “Anyway, I found an old journal that belonged to your mom.”
“Did you read it?”
“What? No. I only opened the front cover and saw her name.”
“What do you want to know about it?” Tension clung to each word.
“Nothing. I was just wondering what other keepsakes you had at your house, aside from the old books. Do you have any family photos lying around from when you were little? I could have them fra—”
“Everything is boxed away in Ascot.” His hands were clenched. “I only have those few items with me in Glasgow. It’s more than enough.”
“Oh. Okay.” I decided to cease all discussion of his parents, keenly aware of how agitated he’d become. It frustrated me on so many levels. At some point, he had to stop blaming himself for their deaths and move on. I’d never say it to his face though, at least not yet. I feared it would ignite an argument that I’d lose hands down.
Determined not to lose the relaxed, blissful atmosphere we’d created in the bedroom, I smiled and hopped off the chair. “Come over here, Holden.”
Sizing me up cautiously, Alastair folded his arms. I went to the window and waited. He hugged me from behind, nuzzling into my neck. “I’m really trying not to be such an ass when you ask about them,” he said after a few minutes, his lips brushing along my skin. “It’s getting easier with you even though it may not look that way.”
I kept my focus locked on the London Eye as it glowed against the midnight sky. “Remember the night you took me on there?”
“How could I forget?”
“Do you still have places you want to show me here in England?”
Tightening his arms around my waist, he sighed. “Yes.”
I turned to face him, enraptured by the way he looked at me. “Why don’t we do some of that tomorrow? We can have dinner with my sister and Andrew but I’d like to spend the day with you as my tour guide.”
“Tour guide, huh?” He arched a brow. “Not sure how exciting that will be for you.”
“It’ll be as exciting as you make it. Get planning, chief.”
“Alright. But I have one condition.”
“Of course you do.”
Grinning, he squeezed my waist. “You are not allowed to ask me where I’m taking you.”
“Why not?”
He tipped up my chin and gave me a quick kiss. “You know why. I like surprising you. See? Even now those big, beautiful eyes are filled with curiosity and mischief. I enjoy this look almost as much as the one you have when you want to do filthy things to me.”
“But I always want to do filthy things to you. I don’t have time for other ‘looks.’”
I got the reaction I wanted from him: a hearty laugh that filled the room. I made a silent vow that this weekend would be the one where he finally turned the page on his past and fully opened himself up to the bright future that he deserved.
CHAPTER NINE
Quiet conversation hummed through the cozy, warm pub. I loved how the interior looked more like someone’s living room than a restaurant. All the creature comforts of home oozed from each corner; a fire crackled to ward off the damp chill of the outdoors, plush chairs beckon
ed to be curled up on for those lucky to nab one, and there was enough carb heavy food to satisfy the most ravenous of cravings.
“Am I succeeding at my tour guide duties?” Alastair asked, sipping his beer. He looked nervous which was impossible. The guy had ice water in his veins.
“So far. What’s the story behind this place?”
He shrugged slightly, avoiding eye contact. “I’d come here all the time when I was at Oxford. It was sort of my place to go when I didn’t want to be around people.”
“You must have been here a lot then,” I teased.
Fidgeting with the glass, he kept his eyes downcast. His usual expressionless demeanor was betrayed by the uncertainty clouding his features. “Aside from the cottage, this was the most out of the way place I’d go to get away.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It’s just what I do, kitten. I avoid people, you know that.”
“You avoid becoming emotionally attached to people. That’s different.” I caught his eye. “You didn’t drive me out here in a torrential downpour just to have a beer and tell me you used to come here when you were in college. Spill it, Holden.”
“Look who decided to come in for a pint after all these years,” an unfamiliar voice with a heavy English accent boomed.
Alastair looked up and smiled, clearly aware of who had approached our table.
“Graham. Good to see you, mate.” He stood up and shook his hand, turning on the Holden charm that he normally reserved for someone he didn’t know. “Was in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d stop by.”
“Likely story, son,” Graham said with a twinkle in his eye. “And who is this lovely young woman?”
Not wanting to be rude, I stood up to introduce myself. Alastair reached for my hand, pulling me into his side. He appeared more relaxed now, which made me smile.
“This gorgeous creature is my fiancée Lia.”
The blush that stained my cheeks must have been spectacular. I felt my body temperature rise. In all fairness, this was technically the first time he’d introduced me as his fiancée. I had a feeling I wouldn’t ever tire of hearing him say that.
“You’ve got yourself a fine young man here, miss. Congratulations to both of you.” Graham smiled. “Drinks are on the house along with whatever you’d like from the menu.”
“Does he own this place?” I asked after Graham walked off and we sat down.
“Yes.” Alastair slid onto the chair next to mine and draped his arm over my shoulders. “There haven’t been many people who’ve treated me like a normal person in my life. Graham is one of the few who has. He’s never pestered me about my family or wanted anything from me other than some good natured conversation. That’s why I came here so often while at university.”
His fingertips brushed the nape of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. I watched him casually enjoy his beer and imagined him sitting here as a college student, desperate to find some uninterrupted moments to just breathe and escape the precision and control of his life. Then again, he was always in control.
“I can see the wheels spinning inside that pretty head of yours.” His warm breath tickled my temple. “Are you okay?”
Enveloped by his scent and the closeness of his body, I had a hard time forming an answer. The rest of the pub seemed to disappear, fading into the backdrop of a distant world. Only Alastair remained in sharp focus.
“I’m perfect,” I said, squeezing his thigh.
“Can’t argue with that.” He grinned, kissing me softly. “I like having you here. It feels…right.”
“Were you not expecting it to feel that way?”
“I don’t know.” His brows furrowed. “Being with you always feels right. I guess it’s just different now that I’m seeing Glasgow and London and home through your eyes. You sort of gave it all new life for me.”
I kissed him. Hard. Those words meant so much that all I could do was show him how they affected me. In the months since we met, he’d become such a different person in the best way possible. At first, everything about him had screamed ‘I’m going to take you and make you forget your own name.’ And yes, that was true. Boy, was that true. And yes, locked in this kiss with him, I still felt his unbridled desire and that urge to dominate me in every way. But I also felt the one thing he’d shied away from for so many years: his emotion.
“Kiss me like that again in public and I won’t be able to control myself,” he said, placing a possessive hand on my hip. “You know what you do to me, kitten.”
“Promises, promises.”
A sly grin curled his lips. “I know this pub well. There’s an office in the back. Tempt me again and I’ll have my way with you in there.”
I didn’t have a chance to respond. Graham showed up with two more beers and a platter of food. As hungry as I was for what Alastair offered, the sight of the food made my stomach growl impatiently.
“I didn’t follow through on my cheeseburger promise last night so I thought it best to make it up to you today.”
“Thanks, chief.” I smiled, grabbing a burger. He watched me eat with that little sparkle in his eye he gets anytime he sees me enjoying food.
“So you’d really come here all by yourself and just sit and have a few beers?” I asked after several minutes.
“Yup.”
“You never brought a friend with you? Not even Brent?”
The question tumbled out of my mouth so easily it took a second for me to regret my words. Alastair stared at me blankly.
“Why would I socialize with him?”
“Oh. Well. Darren told me you guys were close friends in college so I assumed—”
“MacCourty told you that?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“The other day at lunch. We were talking about the engagement and stuff and he…I don’t really remember how it came up.”
Alastair’s discomfort bled from his pores. “We were friends for a time, if you want to call it that.” He shrugged. “Then we grew apart. It happens.”
“Because of the stuff with Olivia.”
“Yes, Lia,” he said through clenched teeth. “We’ve been through this.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” I smiled sheepishly. “You know me and my curiosity. It doesn’t know when to stop.”
Lifting an eyebrow, he leveled a hard stare in my direction. “You’re lucky I find you irresistible. I’m more focused on wanting to shag you than be annoyed with you right now.”
I leaned into him, nuzzling my nose to his. “My Alastair. My moody, enigmatic, unbelievably sexy Alastair. Thank you for taking me here today and sharing another part of your past with me.”
Softening his demeanor, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I love your curiosity. I love that you want to know everything about me because you have no ulterior motive. You just see me. You’ve always just seen me.” He shifted in the chair and held my face with both hands. “You make me…” Stopping himself, he swallowed. “I can’t ever imagine my life without you. The very thought of it tears me apart. You are my lifeline. Without you, I have no reason to exist.”
Kissing the corner of his mouth, I whispered, “Again with the dramatics, Holden?”
“Whatever it takes.”
I ruffled his hair and turned my attention back to lunch. We ate in comfortable silence, sharing a smile every so often when our eyes met. I noticed how nobody seemed to care that the billionaire orphan was enjoying a leisurely lunch with his American girlfriend. It was a nice break from the swarming photographers and nonstop internet gossip. The clientele seemed more enthralled with their own conversations and meals to bother with anybody else’s business.
When I couldn’t possibly fit another morsel of food in my stomach, Graham appeared at our table with a generous serving of warm, gooey chocolate bread pudding. My entire body flushed.
“Best dessert in Oxford,” he said, smiling. “A favorite of yours, right Alastair?”
“H
as been for years.” He winked at me. “Thanks, Graham.”
Two spoons sat on the table but I knew without question only one would be used. At least I hoped so. And then maybe we could visit that back office.
“Not this time,” Alastair said, handing me a spoon. “We’ll share but I want to feed you in private.” He ate a spoonful and I had to steady myself watching the way his mouth wrapped around the spoon.
“Right. Point taken.”
His throaty laugh quickened my already frantic pulse. “You have the most adorable little frown when you’re frustrated.”
“Do I?” I pursed my lips.
“Yes.” He leaned in and kissed me.
“You taste like chocolate.” I held onto his shirt so he remained close to me. “Can we have this wrapped up to go? I’m sure we can finish it in the hotel room.”
“We’re due at your sister’s in a few hours. We’ll never make it.”
“The back office then?” My grip tightened on the material. I was raring to go and only asked as a formality.
“I think,” he said, touching a spoonful of dessert to my mouth, “you should eat this.”
“Are you turning me down?”
“Not quite.” He slid the spoon along my lips. “Open.”
As per usual, I had zero control over how I reacted when he spoke to me in that low, sensual tone. The warm, buttery chocolate bread pudding was so good that for a split second I couldn’t decide what I wanted more; him or another spoonful.
“So much for wanting to feed you in private,” he muttered, offering another taste. “More?”
“You have no willpower, Holden.”
“Not when it comes to you.” He scanned the dining area. Our table was tucked close to the corner so we were barely visible to most of the room. The few people that had been seated near us were gone, so for all intents and purposes we were alone.
He continued to feed me the bread pudding, pausing every so often for a kiss or to help himself to a scoop. He appeared so relaxed, so at peace with himself. I’d only ever seen him this way when he slept.
“Why the serious look? You’re staring at me like you’re never going to see me again.”
Effortless: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance Page 9