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"Why are you so rebellious all of a sudden?" she asks when I get up and grab my purse.
I sigh. "Im not, Mom. Im just frustrated. I love you, but sometimes you have to trust me. "
"I cant. Not when it comes to Caleb. His family is still struggling to bounce back from the pain and suffering he caused all of us. You were the one physically hurt by his reckless stupidity. How can you protect him? Because hes a good-looking boy? There are plenty of them out there, honey. Trust me. "
I cant listen anymore.
"Ill be back later," I say as I walk out of the kitchen. I turn around before I leave and say, "I love you, Mom. You know that, right?"
"I do. I love you, too. "
"Then trust me. I dont stick up for Caleb because hes good-looking. I stick up for him because he doesnt deserve all the bad things that have happened to him. " I hold my hand up when I think shes going to cut me off. "He made a mistake. Mom, we all make mistakes. Dont we all deserve a second chance?"
I head for Mrs. Reynolds house in the Cadillac she gave me in her will. I miss her so much. She was the person who urged me to forgive Caleb, and she was right. I didnt want to at first. Just looking at Caleb when he came back from jail made my pulse race and my body shiver with anxiety.
But then we talked. A lot. Before I realized he wasnt the one who hit me, I forgave him. And fell for him.
I pull up to the house, expecting it to be vacant. Lou, Mrs. Reynolds son and my moms boyfriend, is standing out front watering the grass. Theres a For Sale sign out front.
When he sees me pull up, he smiles. "Hiya, Maggie," he says. "What brings you to this side of town?"
"I just wanted to check the daffodils out back," I tell him.
"Some are still blooming. Ive been trying to sell this place for months now, without a bite. Market is dead out here, so Im probably not going to be able to sell it any time soon. " He sighs. I know he grew up in this house and it has sentimental value. His mom, Mrs. Reynolds, is gone, but her spirit is still here. "Wheres your mom?" he asks.
"At home. " I guess I should let him know about the drama back home. "She got mad because I never told her Caleb had joined the Re-START trip. "
"She called me about that a few hours ago," he tells me. "Care to talk about it?"
"I guess. " We walk to the backyard, side by side. My dad never walked with me anywhere. He was too busy going out of town for work or watching television. He didnt have an interest in me, or my mom. I used to pray hed come back. The last time we talked was months ago. He said hed come see me graduate from high school, but he never did.
I didnt even get a congratulatory call on graduation day.
I stop thinking about my dad when I catch sight of the gardens in the backyard. Im surprised to see the daffodils are still thriving, the bright rainbow of colors immediately raising my spirits. Its breathtaking.
If Mrs. Reynolds were alive, shed love them. She gave me meticulous directions on how to plant each bulb even though she knew she was dying and would never see them come up to display themselves with such radiance and, strangely enough, pride. Each variety seems to have an attitude all its own.
I wish Caleb were here to see them. He made the gazebo while I planted the daffodil bulbs, both of us slaving away to please Mrs. Reynolds.
"My moms mad that I didnt quit the trip when I found out Caleb was on it," I tell Lou.
"You have to admit she has reason to distrust him. "
"I get it, but. . . " I dont know how much to tell him. If he finds out Caleb didnt hit me with the car, hell have to tell my mom. If she knows, shell try and find out who really did hit me. And the vicious cycle would repeat.
I dont want that to happen. Since Caleb wont be coming back to Paradise, its not worth the havoc it would cause.
"Its not like hes coming back to Paradise. Hes not. "
Lou sits one of the rocking chairs his mother used to sit in. "How do you feel about that?"
"I dont know. " I look over at Lou, rocking away. He reminds me of his mom. "We kinda got close on the trip. It was nice. "
"Should I ask how close?"
"Probably not. "
I sit in the rocking chair beside him. We rock for a while, neither of us talking. The fresh summer air is warm even as the sun moves lower in the sky.
Lou chuckles. "You know, my mother would be giving us a piece of her mind right now. Shed call us lazy, then shed give us chores and wouldnt be satisfied until we were working and sweating our butts off. "
"I loved her," I tell him. I try not to think about losing her too much, or Ill break down and cry. Mrs. Reynolds was a strong lady and wouldnt want me to cry for her. "Even when she made me work my butt off, I appreciated it. She was the first person after I got home from the hospital who didnt treat me as if I had a disability. "
"She loved you, too. And I figure she liked Caleb," he says, gesturing toward the gazebo he knows Caleb built all by himself. He was assigned to work here to finish out his community service obligations. "My mom always said I shouldnt hold grudges. Said theyd ruin your life. "
"I wish my mom felt the same way. "
"Want me to talk to her about it?" he asks. "Maybe I can smooth the waters some. "
I look at the guy who has not only been my moms boss and the owner of Auntie Maes diner, but also the only man whos made my mom smile again.
"That would be great. "
"Your moms a sweet woman. Shes just protective of you.
"I know. " I wipe away an invisible piece of lint as I look down at my jeans. I used to hate that Lou was dating my mom. But now I cant help but be thankful hes in her life. And mine. "I dont know if Ive ever told you, but my moms a new person since she started dating you. She needs you. "
That makes him smile. He clears his throat and says, "Ive been meaning to ask you this for a while now, but I didnt gather up enough nerve before you left for the ReSTART program and now that youre here. . . "
He clears his throat again.
"Id like to ask your mother to marry me. Would that be okay with you, Maggie?"
TWENTY-FIVE
Caleb
walk toward my house, the biggest one on the entire block. Maggies house, next door, is practically dwarfed by ours.
I follow the brick sidewalk that my dad and I laid three years ago up to the front door. My house looks familiar and yet . . . in some ways totally foreign to me. I notice the paint peeling off of the wood trim. One of the gutters is falling off, and no flowers have been planted out front. My mom used to plant them every summer. She said it made our house look like a home.
She was right.
I take a deep breath and focus on the front door.
How do you come back home after running away? If I open the door and just walk in like I used to, theyll think Im an intruder. A stranger.
Will they treat me like one once they take a look at me?
I look back down the street, wondering if I should retreat and forget coming home. I can just retrace my steps and disappear again. Nobody would know, and it would be easier than dealing with the drama about to unfold. But disappearing would be the cowards way out.
Im not a coward.
Not anymore, at least.
I put my duffle down and ring the doorbell. My pulse is racing a billion times a second, like I just ran a marathon. Different scenarios about how my parents and sister will react are flying through my head.
I hear footsteps. Is it my mom, dad, or Leah? I dont have time to think about it too long because the door opens and my sister is standing in front of me.
My twin sister.
The one I went to jail for. Shes still got dyed-black hair, light brown at the roots, but her clothes arent as freaky as when I left. Instead of chains dripping off her jeans, shes wearing normal jeans. Her shirt is black to match her hair.
The last time I saw her she looked like death. Her hair was black, her nails were black, and her mood matched
her black clothes. It freaked me out at first, but then it pissed me off. I was the one who went to jail so shed live an easy life at home. How dare she become a recluse and change her appearance and attitude and live like the dead? She had no right . . .
At least her nails arent black, and shes not wearing black eyeliner and black lipstick. Its a big improvement.
My throat goes dry at the same time tears flood her eyes.
"Caleb," she squeaks out. "You came back. "
"For a little while, at least," I manage to say.
When I came home from jail, Leah had catapulted herself into my arms and hugged me tight. Not this time. Shes definitely keeping her distance. Does she think Im a ghost or that Ill suddenly disappear if she gets close?
"Maggie said she was going to urge you to come home, but I didnt believe her. " Her hands are stiff at her sides. "I cant believe youre here. "
"Well, believe it. " I crane my head to see if theres anyone else home. "Yeah, so, uh . . . can I come in?"
She opens the door wider and steps back. "Yeah," she says slowly. "Umm, Dads not home. "
"Where is he?" I ask as I step into the foyer.
Leah starts biting on one of her fingernails nervously. "He went to visit Mom. "
"Visit Mom? Shes in rehab right now?" Oh, hell. Maybe its worse than I thought.
"Shes been there awhile. Its not her first time. "
I let out a slow breath. "All right. " I can deal with this, but. . . "Anything else I need to know about?"
"Like what?"
"I dont know, Leah. " Im on edge and want answers. Will she give them to me? "Is Dad coping with things okay? Whats your story these days?" Man, why did I say that? I dont want to confront her when I havent even been back for five minutes. "Forget I asked that last part. "
Leah opens her mouth to say something, then closes it.
"I invited a friend to stay over," I say.
"Who?"
"His names Lenny. If a guy who needs a haircut and wears a green T-shirt that says Im Your Daddy rings the doorbell, assume its him. " I couldnt leave Lenny out on the streets. When he isnt trying his best to be a complete asshole, hes not so repulsive. He even insisted on giving me a couple hours to get reacquainted with my family before he came in.
I take my duffle and head up the stairs.
"Where are you going?" Leah asks, her voice clearly in a panic.
"To my room. "
"Wait!" Leah yells, but its too late.
I open the door to my room. Or what used to be my room. Its been turned into an office. No bed, no curtains, no closet full of clothes. Wow, they even got rid of my trophies. No sign of me anywhere.
In eight months all evidence of my life has been erased.
I have a feeling coming back here was the biggest mistake of my life.
TWENTY-SIX
Maggie
y mom is getting married. Well, she will be getting married after Lou proposes to her sometime this weekend.
I pull out some stationery and head over to Paradise Park. I want to write a letter to Vanessa. I dont want her to think I forgot about my promise to write her.
I sit leaning against the big tree at the park where Caleb and I first kissed. I feel at peace right here, and wonder if Caleb is doing okay in Arizona or wherever he is.
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