by Amy Clipston
He yawned but then closed his eyes and opened his heart for a silent prayer.
God, please guide me. Make me strong, especially today. Help me be a better man, a better father. Please help me be the father Mollie needs. And thank you for my special friend Laura and her family.
FOURTEEN
“Gude mariye!” Laura sang as she entered Allen’s kitchen and set her bag on a kitchen chair.
“Gude mariye,” Allen echoed her words through a yawn as he covered his mouth.
Mollie squealed in her high chair.
“Mollie!” Laura strolled over, leaned down, and kissed her head. “I missed you last night. How are you?”
Mollie grabbed a handful of Cheerios, dropped them, and giggled.
“I see you’re doing well.” Laura laughed. “I brought you some cheese. Let me get it for you.” She turned toward her bag, but stopped when her eyes met Allen’s. Guilt washed over her as she took in the dark circles under his eyes. “You look so tired.” She clicked her tongue. “I’m sorry. I should have stayed over last night, no matter what you said.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry.” He shook his head as he carried his mug to the percolator. “It’s not your job to babysit me.” He lifted the percolator. “Kaffi?”
“Ya, danki.” She retrieved the cheese from her bag and set it on the high chair’s tray. “Here you go.”
Mollie squealed and began to eat the treat.
Laura stepped over to the counter as Allen handed her a mug of coffee. “Danki.” She set the mug on the table and then pivoted toward him. “Did you eat breakfast?”
“Ya. I had some toast.” He poured himself coffee and then set his mug on the table.
“That’s all?”
He nodded as he sat down.
“Let me make you some eggs.” She started toward the stove.
“No.” He placed his hand on her arm. “Please sit with me.”
She hesitated.
“Please?” He raised his eyebrows. “I’m really not that hungry.”
“What about Mollie?” She pointed to the baby. “Should I make her an egg?”
“She’s had cut-up bananas and grapes, a piece of toast, a roll, and Cheerios.” He counted the items off on his fingers. “And now she has cheese.”
“Oh.” She sank onto the chair beside him. “I guess she’s had enough, then.”
“Ya, I think so.” He sipped his coffee.
She studied the dark shadows under his eyes. “Did you get any sleep at all?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “A little bit, but the rocking chair wasn’t very comfortable.”
“You slept in the rocking chair?” She turned toward Mollie. “Did she cry all night?”
“No, she only cried for about an hour, but I had a lot on my mind last night.”
“I did too.” Her gaze collided with his, and they stared at each other for a beat. She bit back the urge to tell him everything that had haunted her last night. She longed to share the details of what Rudy said to her in the buggy and what Mark told her as they stood in the driveway.
But Allen wasn’t her best friend. He wasn’t Savilla. Yet he felt like her closest confidant other than her twin. He hadn’t laughed at her when she shared she was nervous about having her own bedroom for the first time in her life. He hadn’t mocked her when she admitted she was afraid she’d lose Jamie when he moved into his new house.
If she felt that close to Allen, did that mean he’d replaced Savilla in her life? But shouldn’t she feel this way about Rudy, not Allen?
She swallowed.
“Laura?” He raised an eyebrow. “You look as if you’re going to burst if you don’t tell me what you’re thinking.”
She blinked. Oh no! She’d been caught, just like she’d been with Mark. Heat burned her cheeks as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“The party!” she blurted before reaching for her bag. “I made a list of things we need for Mollie’s birthday party on Friday.” She yanked the list from her tote bag and set it on the table.
“Oh dear.” She looked up at him as her cheeks warmed. “I should ask your permission before I plan something. After all, you’re her dat. Would you mind if I plan a birthday party for Mollie?”
“That would be wunderbaar. Danki for offering to do it. I remembered last night that her birthday is Friday, but I have no idea how to even begin to plan for it.” He peered down at the list. “You’ve even come up with a menu?” He looked up at her. “You’re amazing. You’ve thought of everything.”
“Um, danki.” Suddenly self-conscious, she touched her apron to see if it was straight. “I guess it’s just part of being a maedel. I’ve planned quite a few parties, so I know what to put on a list.”
“Let me know how much money you need for the supplies.”
“I will.”
He finished his coffee, pushed back his chair, and stood. “I better get started. A couple of customers said they’d stop by today to look at my rebuilt buggies.” He yawned as he set his mug on the counter. “I’ll see you at lunchtime.”
Concern filtered through her veins. “Are you certain you feel alert enough to work with tools?”
“Ya, I’ll be fine.” He stepped over to the high chair and touched Mollie’s cheek. “See you in a bit. Behave for Laura.” Then he started for the mudroom.
“Wait.” Laura popped up from her chair, and he spun toward her. “Why don’t you take a thermos of kaffi with you?”
He shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”
She pressed her lips together. “You could cut yourself. You really should take a nap. You can put up a sign telling the customers to knock on the back door of the haus, and I’ll instruct them to come back later.”
“I promise you I’m alert enough to work, but I appreciate your concern.”
She frowned. “You can’t get hurt. Mollie needs you.”
“I know she does, and she needs me to work so I can pay for her party supplies.”
“No, I can—”
“Uh-uh.” He held up his finger and shook it. “You will not pay for her party supplies.”
She jammed her hands on her hips. “You knew what I was going to say.”
“I knew exactly what you were going to say.” He frowned. “If we keep bickering like this, it will be lunchtime and I won’t have gotten anything done.”
“That’s a gut idea. If you stand here and argue with me, you can’t get hurt.”
He shook his finger at her again. “Nice try, but I really need to leave.”
Then he disappeared into the mudroom, the screen door clicking shut moments later.
She stared after him as she considered the exhaustion lining his face. He seemed as if something more than fatigue was plaguing him today. He hadn’t laughed or smiled when she’d tried to convince him to rest. He looked as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders. If only she could put her finger on what was bothering him. But if he’d wanted to tell her, he would have. She had to respect his distance and wait for him to open up.
She turned to Mollie. “Why don’t we get you cleaned up, and then we can practice your walking before I start some chores.”
“Danki!” Allen called after Henry, his second customer of the day.
Henry waved in response as he guided his horse from the rebuilt buggy he’d just purchased from Allen.
Allen folded a stack of bills in his hand and turned toward the shop. He stilled when he found Laura standing in the bay doorway with a sheepish smile. He wanted to smile in return, but he couldn’t bring himself to form the gesture on his lips. Not today.
Today is the ten-month anniversary of Savilla’s death. How dare I even think about smiling today?
The realization nearly knocked the wind out of him as he walked over to her.
She fiddled with one of the ties on her prayer covering. “I’m sorry to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me.” He slipped the money into his trouser pocket. “I
s everything okay?”
“Ya.” She gestured toward the house. “Mollie woke up from her morning nap and she’s been playing with some toys in her play yard.” She bit her lower lip. “I got some housework done, and I was going to clean the upstairs and get the dirty laundry, but then I remembered I wanted to make a shopping list for the party. When I started looking through your pantry and cabinets, I realized you’re running low on a few things. So I was wondering if I could go grocery shopping.”
She held up her hand as if to stop him from speaking. “I know you’re very busy, so I’ll take Mollie with me. I just wanted to see if it’s okay and if we could call your driver.”
“I have a better idea.” The words flew out of his mouth without any forethought, and he pulled the wad of bills out of his pocket and held it up. “I just sold my second buggy of the morning. How about I take you to lunch and then we can do the grocery shopping together?”
“You don’t need to buy me lunch.”
“Ya, I do need to buy you lunch.”
Her dark eyebrows cinched together. “Why?”
“Because the salary I convinced you to allow me to pay you isn’t nearly enough to compensate for keeping you away from your family for such lengthy periods of time.”
“I can buy my own lunch.”
“Laura Riehl.” He folded his arms over his chest and gave her a mock scowl. “Are we going to argue for the second time today? If so, why don’t we have a seat in my office? It’s more comfortable in there, and I can get each of us a couple of bottles of water to keep our throats wet while we impale each other with our biting retorts.”
To his surprise, she laughed. “Fine, fine. You win. I’ll get Mollie ready, and you hitch up the horse.”
“Great.” He rubbed his hands together. “I’ve been craving Dienner’s meat loaf.”
“That’s Mark’s favorite too.” She started toward the house but then stopped and swiveled toward him. “Oh. Congratulations on the sales.”
“Danki.”
Laura flashed another smile and then jogged to the house.
FIFTEEN
“Laura! Allen!” Kayla reached over the podium in her family’s restaurant and touched Mollie’s head as Allen held his daughter in his arms. “How are you, Mollie? What a wunderbaar surprise. I’m so froh you came in today.”
“It’s great to see you too.” Laura smiled. “Allen suggested we get out for lunch today, so here we are.”
“The truth is Laura informed me mei haus is running low on supplies.” Allen looked chagrined. “If it wasn’t for Laura, Mollie and I would starve.”
“Stop it.” Laura waved him off and turned back to Kayla. Her friend’s eyebrows had raised, and she wondered why. “Do you possibly have a table available for us?”
“Ya, of course.” Kayla picked up two menus. “Follow me.” She led them to a table in the corner of the large room and then pointed toward the other end of the restaurant. “I’ll grab a high chair for you.”
“No, no. I’ll get it.” Allen handed Mollie to Laura. “I’ll be right back.”
Laura shifted Mollie in her arms as the baby grabbed for the ties to her prayer covering. She turned toward Kayla and found her looking in the direction Allen had gone. Now her brow was furrowed. “What’s that look for?”
“Is he okay?”
“What do you mean?” Laura moved closer to her.
“He’s a different person than he was yesterday. Yesterday he seemed more open and social, but today he looks even more worn-out and maybe even melancholy.” Kayla set the menus down on the table.
“I thought that too, but I can’t seem to get him to open up to me. I think something is bothering him.”
“Don’t worry.” Kayla touched her shoulder. “You’re a blessing to him. You’ll help him through whatever it is.”
“I don’t know if I can—” Laura began, but she stopped speaking when Kayla’s gaze moved behind Laura and she smiled.
“Here’s the high chair.” Allen appeared beside Laura and set the high chair down. Then he reached for Mollie. “Let me get her settled. I’m looking forward to your meat loaf, Kayla.”
Once Mollie was strapped in her seat, Allen sat down and tapped the table. “Are you going to stand through our whole meal, Laura? Or are you going to get comfortable?”
Without comment, Laura sat down, and Kayla recited the day’s specials. Then she took their drink order and headed to the kitchen.
“It looks like the Dienners have some new employees.” Allen nodded toward two young Amish girls who spoke to customers at nearby tables.
“I had no idea they were hiring.” Laura glanced around the dining area. “I wonder where Eva is.” She opened the diaper bag, pulled out a bottle, and handed it to Mollie, who wasted no time drinking it.
“Maybe she’s in the back?” Allen suggested.
Kayla set a glass of water in front of each of them. “Here are your drinks.”
“Danki.” Laura nodded toward the new girls. “You have new employees?”
“Ya. They’re both in Nathan’s youth group.” Kayla pulled her notepad from the pocket in her apron and then gestured toward the young girl with dark hair. “That’s Lorraine.” She grinned. “I think she has a crush on Nathan, and he seems to like her too. They’re so cute together. I have a feeling they’ll date after they’re both baptized.” Then she nodded to the girl with blond hair. “And that’s Kathy. They’re both really sweet and hard workers. My parents are very froh with them.”
“Where’s Eva?” Laura asked.
Kayla retrieved a pencil from her pocket. “She’s home with Junior.”
“How old is he now?” Allen asked.
“He’s eighteen months, and he’s a handful.” Kayla’s smile widened as she talked about her nephew. “He’s too much to handle at work now, so she has to keep him at home. And since Eva is home, Nathan is training with the fire station one day every week, and I’m getting married, mei mamm suggested we hire two new maed to help. It’s a relief since I’ll most likely go part-time after I’m married. I’ll have a lot to do at the haus and on the farm.”
Laura looked around the restaurant. “Wow. A lot of changes.”
“Ya, that’s true. Life doesn’t slow down.” Kayla poised her pencil on the notepad. “Do you know what you want today?”
“Oh.” Laura opened the menu. “I hadn’t even looked at the selections.” She glanced over at Allen. “Go ahead if you know what you’d like.”
“I don’t need to look at the menu,” he said. “I’d like the meat loaf with egg noodles and green beans.”
Laura closed her menu. “I’ll have the same.” She looked at Mollie. “She can share my meal.” She turned toward Allen. “Are you okay with that?”
“Ya, of course I am.” He lifted his glass of water.
“Gut.” Kayla wrote on the notepad. “I’ll put that in right away.” She took the menus from them and left.
Laura dug in the diaper bag and pulled out a container of Cheerios. “Would you like a snack while we wait for our lunch?” She gave Mollie a handful of cereal. “I was thinking of making a chocolate kuche with frosting for the party. Would that be okay?”
“Ya. That would be fantastic.” Allen looked down at the table as he ran his fingers over the wood grain.
“Is everything all right?” She leaned toward him as concern wafted over her. Did he regret taking her and Mollie to lunch?
Allen looked up at her, and his face clouded with a frown. “Ya. I just—”
“Laura! Allen!” Nathan, Kayla’s younger brother, approached the table. “How are you doing?”
“Hi, Nathan.” Laura shook his hand. “It’s gut to see you.”
“Hi, Nathan.” Allen shook the teenager’s hand as well. “How are things?”
“They’re great.” Nathan folded his hands over his white apron. “Mei dat is teaching me more and more of the recipes. I’m helping him cook instead of busing the tables.” He pointed towar
d the kitchen. “Kay mentioned you both were here, and mei dat said he’d love to see you. Would you like to come back into the kitchen to see my parents?”
Allen nodded at Laura. “You can go and visit. I’ll stay with Mollie.”
“No, no.” Laura shook her head. “You go. I’ll stay here.”
Allen raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”
“Ya, go. I’ll say hello before we leave.” Laura gestured in the direction of the kitchen. “Go on.”
“All right.” Allen stood and followed Nathan.
Laura leaned over to Mollie. “How are those Cheerios? Are they appeditlich?”
Mollie giggled and handed one to Laura.
“Danki.” Laura popped the Cheerio into her mouth and then touched Mollie’s little nose. “That was gut.” She rubbed her abdomen. “Yum, yum!”
Mollie looked past Laura and squealed as she waved at someone.
“Hi, Mollie!” Kayla waved back as she sat down in the chair across from Laura. “I thought I’d take a break and see how you’re doing.” She jammed her thumb toward the kitchen. “Allen is talking to my parents and Nathan.”
“I offered to stay with Mollie so he could go.” Laura touched the high-chair tray. “Mollie, can you give Kayla a Cheerio too?” She pointed to Kayla.
Mollie picked up a Cheerio and held it out to Kayla.
“Very gut!” Kayla grinned as she took the piece of cereal. “Danki, Mollie.”
Laura clapped. “Wunderbaar!”
Kayla ate the Cheerio. “What are your plans after lunch? Are you just going grocery shopping?”
“Ya, we have a lot to get. His pantry really is empty.” Laura folded her hands on the table. “I need to get supplies for Friday too.” She touched Mollie’s arm. “We’re going to have a birthday party for Mollie. I hope you and Jamie can come.”
“Absolutely!” Kayla said. “What can we bring?”
“Oh, you don’t need to bring anything. I was thinking of having finger sandwiches, chips, and pretzels. And I’ll make a couple of kuches.” Laura pulled her list from her pocket. “Let’s see. What else?”
“Let me bring the sandwiches.”