by Holly Rayner
“It’s a stable,” she said, trying hard to keep the disappointment from creeping into her voice, and failing.
“Yes,” Calista replied. “I’m sorry. But now you know, one way or another. And there’s still the other area you proposed.”
She wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t very encouraging. The other area was a possibility, sure, but a less promising one. If Lucie was honest with herself, she’d only really proposed it so that she hadn’t seemed like she was putting all her eggs in one basket.
With the amount of work Calista and the others had done in her absence to further her research, Lucie thought it was best not to look too obviously disappointed.
So, after a brief break to get her head together, she began to assist in the excavation of the second potential site. It wasn’t looking promising, but then, she had to remember to manage her expectations. They had a week there, and if anything was going to be discovered, it probably wouldn’t be straight away.
Still, Lucie couldn’t help but wonder, as the heat began to swell with the onset of early summer, if she might be putting her baby at risk by working out here this way.
Baby. The word sent shockwaves through her body. She’d carefully avoided thinking about it on the plane, trying to set the thought aside so that Zach wouldn’t notice. But how long could she put off considering the ramifications of what she’d just learned?
Now she was broke, overheating, and trying to hold in her panic that the basis of her dissertation had most probably been disproved. She’d thought her position at the airport had been the worst things would get. She’d been wrong.
She was beginning to get lost in a vicious cycle of self-pity when she heard a disturbance at the front of the camp. Shielding her eyes against the unrelenting sun, she squinted, trying to make out what everyone was talking about.
When she saw what it was, her heart stopped.
Five luxury all-terrain vehicles had pulled up by the entrance to the dig site. They couldn’t have come from the capital—the road there had been damaged and closed off, following the storm.
There was only one place they could have come from.
THIRTEEN
Lucie felt the tools that she’d been working with drop from her hands and started to walk towards the motorcade, as though pulled by an invisible string. The other members of the team seemed to be coming along, too, though they seemed a lot more excited about it. She was terrified.
When she got to where the cars were parked, she found that everyone was lining up. Of course, she thought. It was a royal audience. She took her place in line, and braced herself. The tears she had stifled in the bathroom at the airport were trying again to fight their way out, and Lucie could imagine nothing worse than breaking down in front of him when he finally saw her again.
The Sheikh got out of his car, and as much as Lucie tried to avert her eyes, she couldn’t help but sneak a look. Again, he was wearing traditional clothing, and he looked good. Better than Lucie wanted to admit.
He went along the line, greeting everyone. She heard the Arabic rolling off his tongue and remembered how foolish she had been, thinking that she should work hard at improving her Arabic so that when they spoke together she would be treated to hearing his voice in his native tongue.
When he got to her, he shook her hand, as he had the others.
At his touch, she felt a fire ignite within her. She’d tried for so long to put it all on herself. She’d been foolish, she thought. But now that he was in front of her, and she knew she was pregnant with his child, all that self-blame was gone.
He had misled her.
He had never acted as though the connection between them were so disposable. He had not presented it as a casual fling that they would both walk away from, without a single word spoken between them to say so. He’d made it seem as though it was the beginning of something—not the whole of it.
Suddenly she wanted to slap him. She could see it happening in her mind… the anger, the indignation all released in one violent moment. But then, she could also see Zach looking on with interest; maybe even planning to seduce her now she was at her lowest. She didn’t know what bothered her more: that he would try and make a move on her when she was so upset, or that she would likely be so distraught that he might succeed.
So she let the Sheikh say a few cool words of greeting to her, the same as he had to everyone else, and move on. And then she walked away, while Professor Hasseb gave him a guided tour of the site.
When she had returned to where she was working, she began to feel better. Not by much, but by enough that she felt a bit less lost in it all.
The worst had happened. The worst was over. She’d seen him, and the world hadn’t ended. She had managed to hold in the anger that she hadn’t even known she’d been harboring. He also hadn’t taken her in his arms and apologized.
A new sadness came with the knowledge that it was really and truly over. There was something so final about it. She found that she almost preferred the uncertainty of not knowing what might happen if she ever ran into him again to the sadness of knowing that nothing would.
Again, she found herself holding back tears. But these were new tears. These weren’t tears of fear or desperation. These were tears of loss.
This was the state she was pulled out of when she heard the Sheikh’s voice behind her.
“Lucie.”
He only said her name, but at the sound of it she still panicked as though he was revealing something private. She was aware, suddenly, of those around her. Many had gone back to work on different areas, but Professor Hasseb and Calista were still there, as was Zach.
Slowly, she turned to face the Sheikh.
“I was wondering,” he continued, in a calm, measured tone, “if you would be willing to join me for dinner tonight. I quite enjoyed our conversation on your last trip, and I would like to continue it.”
Instantly, the rage was back. And this time, it was white hot, and she felt as though it might shoot out of her fingertips like lightning in an ‘80s movie.
Their conversation? The euphemism felt as thin as it was insulting.
But she was trapped by the gaze of the onlookers, all waiting for her response.
She plastered on the widest, fakest smile she’d ever managed to muster. “I’d be delighted.”
He had to know her enthusiasm was feigned. She could see it on his face—just a split-second of something that looked like remorse. But this was a play, now, and they were the actors. And he could only say his lines and let her know that his driver would be there to pick her up when her day’s work was done.
And then he was gone. He was walking away, and Lucie was left to turn back to her work, and try desperately to focus on anything other than the dinner to come.
FOURTEEN
The ride to the palace was much longer than she remembered it being. But then, the first time, she had been enraptured in conversation. This time, she was miserable and torn.
During their brief conversation, it hadn’t occurred to Lucie to let the Sheikh know he would be having a child. In all the thoughts she’d had in the short time since discovering her pregnancy, she’d pictured raising the child alone.
But now that he was inviting her to his home, and they would have the opportunity to talk in private, the equation had changed. Now, instead of quietly raising her child alone and just never upsetting him with the news, she would be deceiving him if she didn’t mention it. Now that she knew, she had to say something, didn’t she?
The road to the palace seemed to stretch out longer and longer the more she thought about it. By the time the car actually pulled up to the palace gates, she was even more of a wreck than she’d been when she’d left the site.
The car picking her up directly after work had robbed her of the opportunity to release the tears that threatened her. But soon, she thought, she would get to yell at him, the way she’d been craving since she set eyes on him.
Entering the palace, a maid info
rmed her that His Highness was waiting in the casual dining room, and Lucie slowly made her way there. Though the house was labyrinthine, she found she knew it well enough that she didn’t have a moment’s doubt which way to go. She resented how much this place still felt like it had when she’d woken up all those weeks ago, sure in the knowledge of his affection.
As promised, she found him waiting for her in the dining room, alone. Now was the moment of calm before the storm. Now was when the water washed back, before turning into the wave that would crush them both.
But just as she was gearing up to speak, she was interrupted.
“I’m sorry,” Abdul said suddenly, standing up and rushing towards her. “I’m so sorry, Lucie. I don’t know what you must have thought.”
For what felt like the hundredth time since meeting him, Lucie felt completely at a loss.
“W-what?” she sputtered out, trying to get across all the anger she had in her voice but failing spectacularly.
“I was about to come meet you, like we planned, when I found that my grandmother was not well. She’s been in California for the last few months. She didn’t want the people to know of her sickness, but the best doctors are there, and no amount of money or persuasion could bring them here.”
“Your grandmother… Your last living relative.”
She said the words out loud as she was putting them together, and he nodded to confirm.
“I had to be there. I thought she still had a few months left. The doctors all said… But she didn’t.”
Her anger didn’t quite melt away at that; it was pushed back behind a growing wave of concern.
“And were you able to see her?”
He nodded, solemnly. That vulnerability, again. There it was.
“My flight landed just a few hours before she passed. I was able to see her before she was no longer coherent. And as much as I regret the pain that I caused you, I will always be grateful that I was able to speak with her, one last time.”
Lucie’s anger began to again demand attention.
“I’m sorry about your grandmother. But you could have told me!”
He gripped her arms at that, as though clinging onto her and fighting for his life.
“I tried, I swear. I told a trusted servant to get word to you, but the message… it got mixed up. One servant told another who ended up coming to the States with me… I didn’t realize what had happened until much later. I was trying to arrange to bring my grandmother back home, and figure out how to bury her without the public funeral that she insisted she didn’t want. It was difficult, and complicated, and on top of all of it, you no longer wanted anything to do with me.”
“That’s not true!”
“I didn’t know that; I just assumed as much because you didn’t reply to my message. By the time I figured it out, you were gone. And as much as I wanted to reach out to you…” He trailed off.
“Weeks!” she said, aware of how small her voice sounded. “I was there for weeks, thinking you wanted nothing more to do with me. You could have saved me all that suffering, Abdul. All of it!”
“Yes,” he said, hesitantly. “I could have saved you all that suffering by telling you I love you.”
He’d said it. The words she’d never dared hope to hear.
He stepped close to her again.
“I didn’t know if you would forgive me. And there was no way for me