by W. Ferraro
With the hard to suppress smile, Babette never saw the slap coming. All she knew was that suddenly she was on the ground covered in what was left of her martini and looking up at CeCe’s justified face.
“Oh, I’m sorry, involuntary reflex. I really need to do something about that,” CeCe said over the snickers and shocked gasps, as she led the way out the door to find their friends.
~SEVENTEEN~
Days had gone by and not a word from Dylan. Natalie dreamt he had come to her on bended knee but she soon realized it was not a dream, but rather, a nightmare. Leave it to reality to find a way of reminding her just what her life was about and what her future would contain; no one but her.
For lack of anything else to do, Natalie began packing her things up from the house, knowing her time there was limited. Especially, given Reggie’s recent constant inquisition of whether she knew where Gloria’s will was, considering Gloria refused to speak with him. Before she knew it, she had most all her things packed and she began looking into renting an apartment.
CeCe called her daily, as much as Natalie enjoyed the conversation, she could not help but want to ask how Dylan was. CeCe was kind and never mentioned him, but sometimes there would be odd lengthy silence between the two friends. Natalie asked CeCe if there were any apartments available where she lived. She was elated when CeCe confirmed there was a one bedroom in the building adjacent to hers. Natalie called and made an appointment to view it and was given instant approval. With the quick writing of a check covering first, last and security, Natalie was given the keys to her new apartment and was able to move right in.
The following weekend, Natalie moved all of her one carload worth of things and had the discount furniture store deliver a new bed. As Natalie sat on the floor of her living room eating a bowl of cereal, she cried. She was happy to have a direction for her life, finally, but sadness lined every thought. Gloria was constantly on her mind but she would be lying if she said her mother was the thought at the forefront. He was there, when she closed her eyes her brain remembered every eyelash as well as the exact feel of his hands touching her. When she was awake, it was worse. Natalie would be doing something to keep herself busy and stop because she thought she heard him call for her or heard his truck or car driving by. She visited her mother daily, happy that things were better between them. That was becoming harder and harder, for Gloria was fading quickly. Just yesterday when Natalie was there, Gloria could barely move, complaining of severe back pain. Knowing the disease was quickly taking over and crippling the last of her working organs, Natalie insisted she stay the night. After a long hour of refusals, Gloria held her hand and made Natalie promise she would visit the day after she moved.
After rinsing her bowl and shutting off the lights, Natalie went into her new bedroom, pulled back the new bedding and clicked off the lamp on the floor. She tossed and turned, knowing it wasn’t nerves from sleeping in a new place that caused slumber to evade her. The constant ache coming from the left side of her upper chest was quickly beginning to swallow her whole.
Many hours later, when Natalie chose to just give in rather than stare at the ceiling another moment, she got up and decided to go back to the house. She was dressed in what CeCe referred to as the must have loungewear, black yoga pants and a pink hoodie. She got in her car and drove the fifteen minutes, pulling into the seen better days driveway. As she turned the key in the front door, she didn’t know why but it felt as if she were walking into a stranger’s home. Even though it had not even been twenty-four hours, it felt like an eternity since she had been there. Quickly walking into her old room and finding the stack of paperwork she had been looking for last night, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that the answering machine was blinking.
“Hi Natalie. I’m calling to let you know this will be the last time I call. I mean, a man can only put himself out on the line so many times before he takes the hint.” A throaty dry laugh sounded before he continued, “So anyway, I’d really like to take you out and get to know you more. If you want give me a call, here’s my number and I’ll hope that my phone rings soon.” Natalie jotted down his return phone number and thought now was as good a time as any to move on, even if her heart was not transferable. Perhaps, someday it would be.
Natalie arrived at Gloria’s and immediately her concern level jumped from yellow to red. Her mother’s breath was very shallow and her pain level was off the charts, even with a double dose of her pain medication.
“Mom, I’m calling Dr. Bowden. Something is very wrong.”
“No, no, Natalie, I’m alright. It is just taking longer than usual to get my breath, it will pass,” Gloria insisted, as she sat in her chair and prepared herself for the conversation that was far overdue. “Come sit and talk to me.”
Natalie sat on the couch closest to her mother and moved forward so she could hold her mother’s frail, but still warm, hands. She told her mother about her move as well as Reggie’s unbelievable harassment, still looking for what he thought was his.
“Well, the joke is going to be on him. I’ve had a reverse mortgage on the house for years now. There is no equity in it, and in fact, I haven’t made any sort of payment in quite a while. They are going to foreclose within the next few months.”
“What are you talking about?” Natalie asked, confused at the newly learned knowledge.
“Well, when your dad first left, he left us with a lot of debt. The mortgage company approached me stating this would be an option. So, I took it. I did pretty well with it for a number of years and even thought I would be able to pay back the money I took out for your college, before too long. Well, then I got sick. My health insurance didn’t cover a lot and considering how advanced my disease was, the little amount of money that was left went pretty fast.”
Natalie felt her mind reel from all this information. She felt guilty that she didn’t know the financial hardship she had put onto her mother and that she didn’t see the signs that something wasn’t right.
“Where’s Dylan, Natalie? And don’t give me anymore of that crap about him working. It is written all over your face, you are unhappy. It looks like you’ve lost ten pounds, not that you could afford to in the first place.”
“Oh Mom, I was so foolish, so very foolish! He’s gone and I’m afraid that what I felt is gone forever, too.” The waterworks started and they were just going to flow until the river ran dry.
Gloria listened as her daughter’s anguish was heart wretching. She comforted her daughter, ignoring her own body’s pain. She tried to take as much of it away from her daughter as she could. If she could, she would pull the vivid pain from Natalie and constrict her own heart to save her beautiful girl from this agonizing feeling. When the sobs lessened, Gloria stroked her daughter’s face and dried her tears.
“Oh, Natalie, this is all my fault. If I hadn’t pulled this stupid stunt on you, none of this would have happened and you would not be here crying your eyes out.”
“What?” Natalie asked, not understanding what her mother was trying to say.
Feeling her own eyes fill, Gloria explained as tears rolled down her aged and sickened face. “I was so worried that you would be alone. That you would not find what you justly deserve if I didn’t give you a little push. So, I told you all those horrible wretched things, hoping you would do exactly what you did. For Goodness sake, I made my daughter feel she needed to ask a man to pretend to be in a serious relationship with her, so she would make me happy. What kind of mother am I?”
Natalie was in shock! Did her ears just register Gloria’s confession? Natalie’s emotional state went from one end of the spectrum to the other, in the matter of a moment.
“You knew it wasn’t real?”
Gloria laughed even though it was not exactly the perfect situation for it, but heck, she was dying anyway. “I knew that you had fabricated this relationship for me, yes. However,
what I saw was real. It truly was Natalie. The way he looked at you spoke volumes. It was not acting on his end. Listen to an old woman, you need to hold on to it and never let go. He’s the one you are destined for.”
“But he doesn’t love me.”
“Could have fooled me. Go to him, Natalie. If you don’t, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
Gloria insisted that Natalie leave and think. Even though she knew Natalie did not intend to contact Dylan, at all. If her daughter had already accepted that Dylan did not love her, she would not put herself out there again. She would bear the responsibility and blame.
As Gloria sat there closing on an hour after Natalie left, she knew something was wrong. It took her a few minutes to get up and over to where the intercom to the nursing station was. She rang the buzzer, when the female voice asked her if everything was ok, Gloria said no it wasn’t, she needed an ambulance. Gloria then collapsed to the floor unconscious, once again.
Three weeks was enough. Three weeks of non-returned phone calls, three weeks of not working and three weeks of misery were all Dylan’s friends could handle. Using the key that he had given her years ago, CeCe let herself in the front door of Dylan’s home. Every blind on the main floor was closed, casting the usually natural lit room, dark and cold. Even without any light, CeCe could tell Dylan’s hunched form on the sofa. She didn’t speak and he didn’t acknowledge her entrance. She went around opening blinds and allowing the bright sun to flood the room. Finally, with enough light, she could see Dylan’s pathetic appearance. He had not shaved in at least a week. CeCe was guessing that was the last time he showered as well. There were dishes and wrappers littering the floor and surrounding surfaces of the couch.
“Ok Cross, that’s it. You are going to get up, shower, and go to Natalie,” CeCe said, as she stood in between Dylan on the sofa and the infomercial about some sort of cutlery gadget. CeCe really did not expect him to spring to his feet when she said it, but one could always hope. Walking over, taking the remote and shutting the power off to the plasma, she threw it back onto the couch where it landed with a light bounce.
“Leave me alone Ce’s, I’m really not in the mood for one of your sass filled lectures.”
Sass filled lectures? If he wasn’t already at rock bottom, she would have ripped his head off his shoulders for that comment. However, taking into consideration the love of his life walked out on him, she was willing to give him a pass; but just one!
“You know, I was willing to let you have your pity party and all, but you are really pushing it. Especially considering, you could change the circumstances . . . like that.” CeCe snapped her fingers making a sound that echoed throughout the silent house.
This was not the conversation he wanted to be having, nor, the person he wanted to be having it with. He guessed he should have been grateful that she had given him as much time as she did before she stormed over here to kick his ass.
CeCe tried another approach. She walked over, took a seat next to him and said in a softer less confrontational tone, “Why don’t you just call her. You are miserable not being with her, she’s miserable not being with you, so duh, just fix it.”
Dylan laughed a mocking laugh, if only it were that easy. “Sure Ce’s, I’ll just call her up and say, ‘You said you were through with me and being in my bed but if you could squeeze me in, maybe give me some of your time between three and four next Thursday’.” He got up and walked over to the bar, took a bottle off the shelf and just chugged directly from the bottle.
Feeling this attempt of no confrontation was for the birds, CeCe walked over to where he stood and said loudly, “What is with you two and timetables? Shit, if I didn’t know better I would think you two got involved in a hookup for hire!” She shook her head at the absurdity of the notion.
Dylan just stared at CeCe, hearing her put into such cheap words what he and Natalie had, caused him to see red.
“Yeah, that’s me. Fuck Anything Cross. I’m even now attracting virginal maidens to take what they are too dumb to know they are offering and just adding another notch to my bed post,” he bellowed. After he chugged at least a third of the bottle, he said in a softer guilt-ridden voice, “I should have refused her in the first place. There was just something about her that I wanted. I actually even tried to make myself believe that I was doing her a favor. Rather than going to some other dickhead guy, at least with me, I knew she would not find herself in a situation that she couldn’t get out of. So, I signed on and ruined the innocence of the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”
CeCe was speechless! Feeling as if her heart were breaking for each of them, she went back into kind and comforting mode.
Dylan told her about the conversation Natalie had overheard at the hotel and how her own words cut him deeply. They spoke for a few more moments and as she pulled the final round from her arsenal, she said, “Look D, all I know is two very important people to me are hurting. I think what you are both feeling right now is complete and utter bullshit. Be a man. Go tell her that you love her and fix this before it is unfixable.”
Again at the word love, Dylan looked at his honorary kid sister with his own deer caught in the headlights look.
CeCe laughed as she pulled him off the couch and pushed him toward the stairs to take a long overdue shower. As his foot touched the first step, she said to his retreating back, “Yeah, Cross, you got it bad. About fucking time!”
“Yo, Dylan, telephone,” CeCe yelled over the sound of the water coming from the shower, as she stuck her head in the bathroom door.
“Christ, CeCe, can’t a man have any privacy with you?” Dylan snapped, quickly grabbing a towel from the nearby rack and wrapping it loosly around his waist.
“Generally, yes, but I thought this was worthy of a chance for you to show some modesty. It’s a Charge Nurse at Hamden General. She said it’s urgent.”
Dylan quickly took the handset from CeCe and said, “This is Dylan Cross.” He listened and was sure there had been some sort of mistake. When the nurse said time was of the essence, he answered by saying, “I’ll be right there.” and disconnected the call.
Twenty minutes later Dylan walked into Gloria Parker’s hospital room. He was greeted with a smile that he could see was physically hard for her to make.
“You wanted to see me, Ms. Parker.” Dylan had sudden thoughts of when he was a young boy. He had broken a window at his elderly neighbor’s home, and the stern old bag called him in to give him an earful.
In a soft throaty whisper of a voice, Gloria called him over to take the seat next to her bed. Once he was settled in the seat, she held out her hand palm up communicating to him to grab it.
“I first owe you an apology for my behavior and rudeness and the embarrassment of my son.” Coughing and hardly being able to catch her breath, Dylan assisted her by pouring some water into the cup from the plastic pitcher on the bedside table. With the cool liquid coating her throat, she was able to speak clearer and louder. “Thank you. Secondly, I appreciate you coming at the bidding of an old sick woman. I need to ask you a question and I hope you will do us both a service by being truthful and right to the point.”
Dylan nodded his head and, once again, held the cup so she could sip the cold liquid.
“Do you love my Natalie, Dylan?”
Now was the time to say what he had been so afraid to say, for far too long. Here in this hospital room with the mother of the woman he loves, Dylan said clearly. “Yes. Yes, I love her.”
Closing her eyes quickly over the elation of his answer, Gloria looked at the man she was counting on to love her daughter when Gloria, herself, would no longer be there.
“But, I think I’ve lost her. I’m not sure she even wants me, let alone loves me.”
“You are a sweet boy now, just like you were when you were younger. Yes, I knew you then. There w
as never a chance of my daughter not falling madly in love with you. I know she loves you, just as I know I’m dying. You need to tell her, Dylan. I’m afraid my pitiful attempt at getting her to care about her own life backfired terribly. Tell my daughter, sweet boy. Tell her every day and take care of her. I’m entrusting you with her happiness. Promise me you will care for her the way she deserves.”
“I promise on my life. I’ll take care of her, cherish her and love her until my last breath.”
With her mother’s blessing, Dylan kissed her on her frail cheek and left the hospital in search of Natalie.
This was a mistake, a big one. Natalie sat in a booth with RJ trying to find the words to tell him she needed to leave.
When RJ first walked in and located her, he surprised her by sliding into the same side of the booth she already occupied. The server came over and took their order. When she asked simply for a ginger ale, RJ told the server to bring her a margarita instead. His strong cheap cologne was starting to make her nauseas, not to mention, she was becoming quite uncomfortable with his hand resting on her upper thigh under the table.
“So, what do you say we head out to my truck and get the beast rocking? You are very fine and I’d be happy to show you what old RJ has to offer.”
Oh God, she needed to get out of here now.
“Look, RJ, I’m sorry but this was a mistake. If you don’t mind, I’ll just head out and save us both a disappointing and uncomfortable end to the evening.”
Natalie slipped out the other side of the booth and made her way toward the side exit. She was close to the door when she felt a large hand close around her arm, tightly.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
He was really squeezing her arm but she refused to bring attention to it. She said with a jittery voice, “RJ, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I thought that I should move on but now that I’m here, I know that I can’t.” Natalie wiggled out of his grip and quickly exited the building through the side exit, with RJ hot on her heels.