by Frazer Lee
FRAZER LEE
Greyfriars Reformatory
FLAME TREE PRESS
London & New York
Chapter One
The Gray Girls
I’m on the prisoner transport bus again and the sky outside the window looks almost as gray as I feel.
I say ‘again’ because, well, I’ve been institutionalized a few times. All my adult life actually. I’ve had a few problems, shall we say. But before you ask, my meds are so strong I can’t remember what any of my problems were, or are. I guess that kind of makes me an unreliable narrator? If that bothers you then look away. I know I would. Or at least, I think I would.
The five other girls on the bus have been real quiet since we crossed the county line into Dustbowl, Nowheresville. Not that any of them spoke to me at all in the first place, you understand. I’m not what you’d call the approachable type. A couple of them whispered to each other, some nonsense about ‘making a break for it during the pee break’. Yeah, good luck with that in your handcuffs and leg irons, ladies. Probably just trying to style it out before they realized for sure that they were going to be banged up like the rest of us. No special cases here, just a bunch of head cases.
One girl, sitting two rows in front of me, is quieter than the rest. I clocked her when I got on, but couldn’t see her face because she was lurking behind her floppy brown fringe. I wondered what she might be hiding. And then again I didn’t wonder at all. I mean, what’s the point in trying to figure that out anyway? We’re all hiding something, that’s partly why we’re here.
I glance out the window and try to decipher where ‘here’ is, exactly. The window is almost as grimy as the sky, making me doubly separated from the landscape as it smears across my vision. I can see the skeletal forms of trees, clinging to the wind-battered hillsides. The country road begins to twist and turn, as if coiling in on itself to keep us moving into its spiral.
The driver makes a bad gear change as the road gets rougher. The torturous sound of the grinding gearshift gives way to a burst of static on the bus radio. The signal is weak, probably because of the mountainous terrain on either side of us, but I can hear a few faint bars of a song coming through the tinny speakers. The lyrics say something about ghosts, and regret, and about not saying sorry. Soon enough, the song becomes lost in another crackle of static and I turn my attention back to the window.
“Turn the fucking thing off if it’s not working properly.” The voice from the back of the bus is petulant, and clipped with indignation. I look around, on instinct, and my eyes meet the baby blues of the tall blonde who decided to take the entire back row for herself. She gives off that vibe, you know, where she’s just daring you to sit near her so she can make a scene. Best ignored, those types. Which makes it all the more unfortunate that I made eye contact with her, I guess.
“Would you like a fucking selfie with that?” she says.
I break eye contact. Then I go over what I saw, but in my mind’s eye. It’s a thing I do. A thing I have to do, to try and make sense of whether or not what I’m seeing is real. Unreliable, like I said. One thing’s for sure, that blonde girl wears her entitlement like a swipe card. She groans theatrically, and I think I’m in for an earful from her. But then I see the apparent source of her disappointment, looming dark beyond the small clear section of driver’s window that isn’t caked with dirt.
The building is solid looking, hunkered down into the landscape like it knows more bad weather is coming. A clock tower is the only vertical part of the structure, looming darkly at the center of the building. The bus swerves and the road narrows further as we approach the brick perimeter wall and wrought-iron gates. Lichen casts a rusty glow over the weathered bricks, and thick black paint is peeling from the iron railings. There’s a sign next to the gate, the painted letters almost destroyed by the elements. It reads Greyfriars Reformatory for Girls. Whoop-de-doo. The way the paint has deteriorated makes the words ‘Grey’ and ‘Girls’ stand out. Yup, that’s us in our drab uniforms I guess, the gray girls.
The driver slows the bus to a halt and a few seconds later, the gates swing open, activated by an unseen hand. The driver makes another horrendous gear shift and the bus proceeds through the gates and onto a graveled forecourt. The centerpiece of this gloomy space is a dead-looking tree. A few dry leaves flutter in the wake of the prisoner transport bus as we pass by. I glance back through the rear window, careless of the arrogant blonde, and see the gates swing shut behind us. They close with a loud clank, and the driver swings the vehicle around so we’re adjacent to the front steps of the building. With a hydraulic hiss of the brakes, we lurch to a halt.
“Finally,” the blonde says, with a wisdom beyond her years.
“Right, ladies, disembarkation time. Front rows first. Single file. No talking. Watch your step at the bottom.”
The chains we’re wearing tinkle like Christmas bells as we file off the bus. I’m ahead of the blonde, so I stand up but she gives me that superior look of hers and pushes past me. As the heat of her body rubs against me I notice that she smells overbearingly sweet, like a bag of boiled candies. I don’t like the scent.
“Come on, come on,” the driver urges, and I follow as quickly as my leg irons will allow me to.
The sky looks just as grimy as it did from inside the bus, but at least the air is fresher outside. I take a few calming breaths—
(In, then out, count to three in your head, and breathe in again.)
—like they taught me to, and then line up with the others alongside the bus. The reformatory looks huge now, up close, its dark windows giving nothing away. The front steps look cracked and worn. Several hopes and dreams must have been deposited there on the way into that—
(And I’m just being honest here.)
—frightening shithole of a building.
But even more terrifying is the woman waiting for us on the steps.
She’s in her fifties, and wears a functional black trouser suit. Her auburn hair is bunched and her lips pursed, making her look pretty tightly wound. She carries a clipboard, tucked under her arm. In her free hand I see a bunch of keys on a dull, silver ring. They too make the sound of little silver bells as she walks across the gravel to face us. She doesn’t look at us yet, instead giving the driver a sharp nod. The driver clambers back onto the bus and I hear the engine grumble back into life behind me. The air around me fills with exhaust fumes. After a hiss of the brake release, the bus moves off, kicking up dust as it goes.
The woman quickly pockets the keys, pulls out her clipboard and makes a show of leafing through the pages of the document that is clamped to it. She shakes her head, slowly.
“More lost souls,” she says. Then, after taking a breath, she begins to walk the line of girls.
“I am Principal Quick. Welcome to Greyfriars Reformatory. Your new home.”
I can see the blonde’s smug, smirking face poking out from beneath her plumage-like fringe at the head of the line. The principal stops still and stands in front of her. Glancing at her clipboard, she says, “Name?”
The blonde flinches for a second. Blink and you’d miss it, but I didn’t.
“Saffy,” she says.
“Full name,” Quick replies.
Then Saffy speaks her full name, real fast so it almost comes out as a single word.
“Saffron Chassay.”
I’m not the only one who sniggers. I mean, who wouldn’t? Saffron Chassay. What a ridiculous-ass name. It suits her. She rolls her eyes at the barely contained laughter from me and a couple of the other girls. But she does look rattled. Interesting.
Quick takes a pe
n from the little holder on the clipboard and makes a ticking motion on her document before moving on to the next girl. She’s the waif of the group, real skinny and pale. I notice her tousling her hair as Quick approaches, which makes the older woman purse her lips even tighter.
“Hands by your side, girl. Name?”
“Jessica Hope.”
Another tick, then Quick moves off. Jessica starts fiddling with her hair again as soon as Quick’s back is turned.
“Name.”
I hear a loud hawking and then spitting sound as the next girl deposits a ball of freshly drawn phlegm onto the gravel. I lean forward a little so I can get a better look and see that the girl has spat right in front of Quick’s feet. Oh, boy. I remember seeing her on the bus because the dark circles under her eyes stood out. I recall thinking that she looks as though she has grown up way too fast. She has the punk rock look about her, and could pass for thirty thanks to those dark rings.
I see Quick reach out and for a moment I think she’s going to whack her. But instead, Quick places a finger under the girl’s chin and lifts her face until their eyes meet.
“Nasty habit,” she says. “Name?”
The girl jerks away from Quick’s touch, then stares at the floor. “I’m…Lena Turner,” she says, and I’m surprised at the defeat in her tone.
“Yes, I suppose you are.” Quick makes her mark on the clipboard again.
I become aware of a slight movement beside me. Glancing that way, I can see that the girl who was hiding behind her fringe on the bus is shaking. Even her knees are trembling. I wonder if she’s going to faint. Quick is standing in front of the girl next to the one who has the shakes.
“Name.”
“Annie. Annie Chastain.”
Quite perky sounding, this one. And I can see a distinct look of displeasure on Quick’s face before she makes another ticking motion with her pen. Then she walks a couple of steps along the line until she’s face-to-fringe with the trembling girl.
“Name.”
The shaking gives way to uncontrolled sobbing and, at the far end of the line, Saffy laughs. It’s an unpleasant, birdlike sound, and loud enough perhaps to overcompensate for the giggling her full name received.
“Your name, girl.”
I look at the girl. At her hands. She’s balled them into fists and her knuckles have turned white. Her shoulders have almost folded in on themselves, and she’s trying to hold her sobs so deep inside she looks as though she might burst open. A tear trickles down her cheek, which has turned a vivid shade of pink.
Quick sighs, then checks her list.
“Victoria Kim?”
The girl nods and her shoulders drop slightly from the relief. I see Principal Quick looking at Victoria in the same way a cat might regard a mouse, before ticking her name off the list. Then Quick moves to the end of the line. It’s my turn.
“Emily Drake. Surprised to see you back here so soon.”
I can almost sense Saffy’s ears pricking up at this. A couple of the others seem pretty interested, too. I can see them out of my peripheral vision, but I try not to look away from Quick in case she interprets it as a sign of weakness. I vaguely remember Principal Quick, and this place. But I’m not sure if I really do remember, or if it’s just my meds messing with my head again. I try my breathing exercises again.
“You will learn,” Quick says, her eyes on me, “someday.” Then she takes a step back and addresses all of us. “You will all learn, as I live and breathe.”
Quick tucks the clipboard under her arm with military precision.
“Inside. Single file.”
One by one, the girls ahead of me file across the gravel forecourt, up the steps and into the main entrance of the reformatory. I’m last in line and as I follow the others, a shadow catches me. The sudden chill turns my skin to gooseflesh and I have the compulsion to look upward. The clock tower looms over me, obelisk-like against turbulent skies. The increasing wind is bringing with it dark clouds that look heavy with rain. I notice that the clock’s hands are not moving – stuck close to seven. Above the clockface is an arched window, open to the elements. For a moment, something gray flutters within the archway. It looks like a girl, standing there in an inmate’s uniform and watching me through her long, dark hair. The wind is making my eyes water and I blink to clear my vision.
No one there after all.
I keep walking, eager to be indoors and away from the biting wind.
Chapter Two
Routine Clarifies Mind and Body
I pass over the threshold and into the building and it’s as though Greyfriars Reformatory is a shroud wrapping its darkness all around me. The air is stale and thin and the corridor is possibly the gloomiest I’ve ever seen – and believe me when I say that I have trudged down some pretty depressing corridors in my time on God’s green Earth.
Principal Quick stands beside the door and, once we’re all gathered inside the entrance hall, she turns and then reaches up to tap a gray plastic switch mounted on the wall next to the door. The principal has to stand on tiptoes to do it and I find myself thinking maybe she’s not as big and imposing as she’d have us believe. I hear a faint clank from outside and realize the switch must operate the iron gates. She then shuts the door and locks it using three different keys from her bunch. Principal Quick keeps her back to us the whole time, shielding the keys with her body so we can’t see which ones she’s using. I think she’s been doing this job for a long time because she’s less concerned about being jumped from behind than she is letting us know which keys unlock the front door. Maybe it’s a weird display of power, keeping her back to us. None of us bothers to try anything, of course. We’re in the middle of nowhere, after all. Nowhere to run to all the way out here.
Principal Quick turns to face us. As if she’s heard my thoughts, she says, “You will have noticed by now that there are no guards at Greyfriars. And before you get any ideas, be aware that this is precisely because there is no need for them. If you try to leave this place, you won’t last longer than a day on the outside. There are no vehicles. No houses. Only empty, endless roads and harsh, unforgiving wilderness. This is an experimental facility, and one that is built upon the one thing you have each been denied during your incarceration thus far—namely, trust. I am your caregiver. Your ticket to rehabilitation and survival in the big, bad world. The first cohort didn’t work out. Abject failures, all. But Emily, you have apparently been given a second chance here. I hope you will lead by example.”
I can feel their eyes on me again. I do not like it.
“I trust that each and every one of you will allow me to do my job,” Quick says.
It is more a statement than a question, so we each remain quiet and just watch her affix her keys to her belt. Another subtle display of power.
“Come along, girls,” she says.
Then Quick marches past us, her heels clicking on the hard reflective surface of the floor. We follow dumbly behind and I notice that Annie keeps her head down the whole time she’s walking. She has the beginnings of a stoop that already makes her look like one of those old street ladies you see pushing around grocery carts filled with crap. I put on my best shuffle to keep up, but also to maintain a safe distance from any of them. Personal space really becomes a priority when you don’t have it. It’s currency for the institutionalized.
And if there’s one thing Greyfriars Reformatory has, it is space. Quick leads us down one corridor after another and they all look the same with their polished floors mirroring dark ceilings. The drab walls are painted in a fetching—
(Or is that retching?)
—off-white shade that may have been intentional, or may just be years of accumulated dust. The principal takes a right turn and I’m completely lost. But then I’m amazed to see what lies beyond the long, narrow window set into the interior wall of this corridor.
/> “Our swimming pool affords us the luxury of indoor exercise, whatever the weather – and it does get quite rough out here on occasion,” Principal Quick says.
I move closer to the glass to take a better look, and become aware that the other girls are doing exactly the same thing. The still waters of the pool, artificially blue from its tiled interior, reflect squares of light from the skylights high above. Deep shadows meet the deep end, making the pool room look even larger than it perhaps is.
“Each of you will maintain a strict regimen of vigorous exercise. Every morning.”
I hear a couple of sighs and groans from the others. I don’t feel anything either way. I mean, what’s the use in complaining about an exercise regimen? We’ve all been there before. And here we all are now. No point fighting it, or trying to get a pass because it’s your period. Disciplinarians such as Principal Quick don’t give a rat’s ass whether you have stomach cramps or not. And I bet the pool isn’t even heated. Quick doesn’t even seem to notice the groans of protest anyway – or maybe she’s just ignoring them.
She leads off again and I glance back at the pool. My reflection in the glass looks hollowed out. A silhouette person with no face. I turn my back on it and catch up to the others.
Our guide slows down as we enter an adjacent corridor, and then stops beside a door. Principal Quick appears to be well and truly in her element – school matron and prison warden made one, as she selects another key from her bunch and opens the door.
She leads us inside and I see that the room is a classroom, set up with two rows of desks and chairs. The furniture is worn and old, and I wonder how many girls like us have sat at them over the years. A blackboard dominates the wall behind Principal Quick, its surface cloudy from accumulated chalk residue.
“After your morning workout, you will have personal development classes. Followed by chores.”
Chores. The word that sends terror into the hearts of us all. I hear the others muttering and moaning again. Principal Quick doesn’t rise to the bait; she just ushers us out of the room and we wait while she locks the door. I notice that she doesn’t bother shielding the keys from us this time. I mean, who would want to break and enter into a classroom? Especially one that has bars on its windows. I can hardly wait for our first ‘personal development class’.