Ricky: Howlers MC : Book 2

by Amanda Anderson

  “That is disgusting you know?” Shauna pointed out.

  “Not as disgusting as eating them raw. Me and the kid wouldn’t mind that either, this is all for you sweetheart. See the trouble I go to for you?”

  “Gee thanks.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Don’t thank me yet, they aren’t cooked and they may taste like shit.”

  Shauna laughed and shook her head. “I think I’ll leave you to it. I need a shower.”

  A low rumble vibrated from Ricky’s chest stopping Shauna. She turned and looked back at Ricky, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

  “Go ahead. I’ll stay right here and make breakfast.” He looked up at her then and she saw fire in his eyes. “I won’t always make that promise, but for today,” he shrugged.

  “Understood.” She whispered.

  Maverick had talked about Ricky, loved him, but he’d also been warry of him. Ricky had a past that Mav wasn’t comfortable with and that scared Shauna enough to keep him at arm’s length. That fear was being burned away pretty fast by the heat that was growing between them.

  She blew out a breath. Who was she fooling? That fear had evaporated the moment he’d touched her the night before.

  “I’m in deep shit here.” she whispered and heard him chuckle.

  “Talking to yourself is a sure sign that you’re losing your mind sweetheart, better watch that shit.”

  She lifted her middle finger in the direction of the kitchen, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear that. Shifter hearing wasn’t always convenient.

  She heard Dakota’s voice and stepped out of the shower, determined to ignore Ricky and the pull he had on her.

  That determination lasted about two minutes.

  She was completely in over her head.

  10

  “Mama! Look what I found!” Dakota held up a fist full of flowers. Ricky was filling a mason jar full of water and trying hard not to stare at Shauna’s legs displayed nicely in a pair of shorts.

  “Wow. Those are really pretty Dakota.” She said and took a sniff of the fragrant flowers. “Where did you find those?”

  “Out by the trees. There’s a whole patch of them. Miss Mallory told me where to find them. She’s so nice mama and she’s just a human, like you, but Dice picked her like daddy picked you.”

  Ricky watched the color drain from her face as she tried to find something to say to her son.

  “Here you go short stack. We can put them right here on the table.” He took a few seconds to help Dakota arrange the flowers, but he didn’t know shit about flowers so he was satisfied that they all had water. Shauna still stood like a statue and watched him.

  “Mama?” Dakota felt her pain, so did Ricky, and he’d be damned if he let her suffer alone. He walked over and wrapped her in his arms.

  “Shh, now you need to breathe sweetheart. Just take one slow breath.” She did and then another. Her whole body shook in Ricky’s arms, but he held her steady. “I’ve got you.” He whispered and she trembled harder.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what…” She tried.

  “Hush now.” Ricky lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “I’m not Dakota’s father, never will be. I’m not stepping into those shoes, they wouldn’t fit me. I’m going to be whatever I can be and figure it out as we go.” He pulled her head back to his chest. “The same goes with this. We don’t need a guidebook Shauna, we just need to live and you need to stop beating the shit out of yourself every time you feel something.”

  “I don’t know how to feel anything anymore. I just don’t know what to do.” She sniffed.

  “You just live darlin’. You take one moment and squish it into another until you have a whole day, then another. You’ll get there and it’s ok to have shit moments too, like for instance, the moment you put a piece of this rabbit in your mouth and taste it. You are going to need to decide whether to chew happily or hurt my feelings by pointing out that it is just a little overcooked.”

  She giggled.

  “Are we supposed to eat this?” Dakota said in disbelief causing Shauna to laugh harder.

  “I got a little distracted.” Ricky shrugged.

  “What the hell is that god awful smell?” Ricky heard Pie’s voice from the back of the house.

  “Breakfast.” Ricky answered.

  “My house smells better.” Pie answered and Ricky wanted to groan. He’d already had to explain to Dakota why the woman was making those screaming sounds, he didn’t need to have to explain anything else.

  “Fuck off Pie!” Ricky growled.

  “I already did that!” Pie laughed and Ricky heard something else in Pie’s voice.

  It turned Ricky’s stomach. How could the man be so desperate that he fucked anything with tits? Ricky didn’t know Pie’s story, not all of it, they were brothers, but they were still just a band of fuck ups that didn’t want their pasts clouding what they wanted for their futures. He was also a little pissed about what had happened earlier, but it seemed to have helped them both.

  He looked over to where Shauna sat at the table, waiting for him. There was more to him than he ever wanted her to know, but he knew better than to keep secrets, especially if he wanted her to stay. Secrets always came out and ruined everything. He understood that, always had.

  He sat the plate of rabbit on the table along with biscuits and gravy. It was a good breakfast and even if the meat was a little over cooked, it felt right to sit down with Shauna and Dakota.

  It felt too right, until Pie grabbed a plate and joined them.

  “So, did you hear the fight this morning?” Pie asked as he grabbed a biscuit.

  “Pie, I swear…”

  Shauna cut him off. “Fight?” Her face had lost color and her eyes were as round as saucers.

  Pie was nodding and pulling up his shirt. “See this right here? Still hurts like a motherfucker too.”

  Dakota looked at the bright red teeth marks on Pie’s side.

  “You did that?”

  Ricky gritted his teeth. “He started it.”

  For some reason that caused Shauna to burst out laughing. “You all act like a bunch of children.”

  “Do not.” Pie and Ricky said together, proving her point.

  “What did you do to make him bite you?” Dakota asked.

  Pie leaned over and whispered in his ear. “Never call him Richard.”

  “Pie…” Ricky warned as he felt his wolf push for a change.

  Pie held up his hands. “I didn’t call you that, just warning the kid.”

  “Why? Isn’t that your name?” Dakota asked, puzzled.

  “Yeah.” Ricky answered. He shoved a spoonful of gravy into his mouth to keep from snarling. “My old man called me that and then my uncle. Mean assholes. My wolf can’t stand the sound of it. It’s a good warning.”

  His eyes met Dakota’s, a warning not to test him. Dakota nodded once.

  “You realize that’s called a trigger, right? A psychiatrist would have a field day with you guys.” Shauna said and ate another bite of rabbit.

  Pie threw back his head and laughed. “You don’t know the half of it honey.”

  Ricky was glad she didn’t, not just yet.

  11

  Shauna would not even try to lie to herself. She was attracted to Ricky. No, she wasn’t attracted to him, she was on fire for him the moment he looked her way.

  “This is ridiculous. I’m an adult. I can’t go around acting like I’m sixteen!”

  “Oh honey, it’s nothing to be ashamed of around here.”

  Shauna looked up when Mallory walked up behind her.

  “Where are the boys?” Mallory asked and squatted to help pull weeds from around a big tree in Ricky’s yard.

  “Who knows.” Shauna grumbled. They’d gotten up with the sun and ran off into the woods. That had been two hours ago.

  “Something else to get used to.” Mallory planted her jean clad ass in the grass.

  Shauna let out a disgusted snort. “It’s good for Da
kota. I can’t teach him things about his wolf.”

  Mallory made a sound of agreement. “You are still his mom though. The guys forget how important that is, but Dakota wont. You will find the balance, we have, mostly. It’s a hard life Shauna. I’m not going to tell you it’s not.”

  Mallory was looking at her as if she knew something she wasn’t saying.

  “What don’t I know?”

  “Oh honey, how much time do you have.” Mallory stood and tugged Shauna up with her. “We need a girl day and I’m kidnapping you.”

  Shauna started to argue, but she really did want a girl day and she liked Mallory.

  “No arguing. Nails. Hair?”

  Shauna shook her head.

  “Ok then. Nails and toes and maybe we can sneak in a massage and a good lunch. The guys can hunt and scratch and fart all they want and we can get pampered. I think we deserve it.”

  Shauna allowed Mallory to tug her inside. They agreed to change and meet at Mallory’s in half an hour. Shauna felt butterflies in her stomach. She needed this! It had been far too long since she’d allowed herself to just enjoy a day.

  She left Ricky a note on the refrigerator and headed out. This would be a good day, she was determined to see to that. She would let the men do their thing and she would do hers with Mallory and hope to feel a little less unsettled.

  Mallory took her to a little spa on main street.

  “I called before we left. They are going to treat us right! I am not normally the diva type, but I’m feeling it today.” She walked over to the wall where the nail polish was stored on little shelves. “I’m thinking bright pink. I wonder if they could do little dots on my big toes so they look like dice. I’m gonna ask! I’m so getting laid if they can.”

  Shauna laughed. “Is that usually a problem?”

  Mallory’s smile was mischievous. “Nope.”

  Shauna considered the colors and picked a spicy red that almost made her cheeks heat up.

  “Oh damn, Ricky will be kissing those toes tonight!”

  Shauna almost put the color back, but something inside her made her hang on to it. Maybe it was time to take back her life. Maybe what was happening between her and Ricky really was ok. Maybe she deserved a little more happiness in her life. She was tired of feeling like she hung in a sort of limbo. Her husband died, she was still alive and it was ok for her to act like it.

  It was ok to fall in love again.

  “Oh!! I know that look!” Mallory bounced on her toes making her blonde curls bounce like springs. “I have seen that look in the mirror too many times to count.” She hugged her arms into her chest. “You love him.” She whispered and then let the tiniest of squeaks out as she continued to dance a little jig.

  “I didn’t say that.” Shauna hedged.

  Mallory pointed a finger at her. “You didn’t deny it!”

  Shauna found herself crushed in a hug that a woman Mallory’s size shouldn’t be able to accomplish.

  “I’m trying to figure it all out.” She said as the breath was crushed out of her.

  Mallory looked at her with sympathy then. “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt you know. When it hits you, I’ll bring the frozen peas, cause, it will hit you and if I know Ricky… it will leave a mark.”

  That was less unsettling than it should have been, but Shauna refused to think about what that said about her.

  They spent the rest of the day drinking water with lime and strawberry slices floating in it and laughing about nonsense and just enjoying the day. The spa had its own little bistro so they didn’t even have to get dressed to have lunch.

  “This really is the life Mallory. Thank you for this.”

  “Mmmhmm.” Mallory hummed as a woman massaged her legs. “We really do deserve it after all the shit we put up with.”

  “Does Dice bring home...breakfast the way Ricky does?” Shauna asked, closing her eyes, and leaning back against the padded chair.

  “Thank God, no. Ricky has this thing about feeding everyone. I think he must have gone hungry a time or two or something. He has his secrets, they all do. I’m guessing one of those secrets has something to do with why River asked him to do what he did.”

  “I guess that’s normal for them though. Secrets are a part of who they are.” She frowned. Mallory assumed she knew something she didn’t. Would she just tell her or would she clam up if she asked? Shauna hadn’t been a lawyer for years for nothing.

  “It’s got him all torn up.” She said instead. It wasn’t a lie and only a little misleading.

  “I bet it does. Dice is torn up about it and he wasn’t the one asked.” She lifted one eyelid and looked over at Shauna. “Can you imagine it?”

  Shauna adopted a bewildered face. “I can’t even come close.”

  “I mean, it’s bad enough that he’s gone ape shit, but now he wants Ricky to promise to off him if he gets worse? That’s too much. It would drive Dice crazy, snap his will.”

  Mallory kept talking, but Shauna couldn’t hear her over the roar in her ears. Ricky had said that River was like Maverick. Mav had said something about Ricky before she’d left, but she couldn’t remember what it was. He would call him or he’d… she didn’t know, but what she did know was that Ricky had been ashamed of something. Now she knew what it was.

  He’d killed her husband.

  Shauna felt her phone vibrate where it lay on the arm of her chair. She felt her heart pound when she saw Ricky’s face pop up on the screen.

  “Oh honey, the signal is crap in here. You can step out on the sidewalk if you need to talk.” the woman who was massaging Mallory’s legs said with a little grumble.

  “Oh, thanks.” Shauna got awkwardly to her feet and waddled out the front door. She felt like she was walking through a fog. It couldn’t be true.

  Tears burned her eyes as she stepped outside. The light blinded her and her stomach pitched.

  She felt silly standing on the sidewalk in her pretty pink robe with cotton between her toes, but she didn’t let it stop her. She needed to hear him say it, she had to know the truth.

  “Hello?” She said in a toneless voice.

  “Hey there darlin’. We are having a party tonight. Planning to get a sitter for Dakota and Sam. Have some real fun.”

  She couldn’t speak. The words seemed so big and his answer would change everything. She wouldn’t stay in his house a second longer. She would run away.

  Tears slipped down her cheeks as she remembered that he was Dakota’s legal guardian now. She had no say in her son’s life. He would grow up with the man that killed his father and there was nothing she could do about it.

  A sob broke from her lips.

  “Shauna? What’s wrong?” She heard the concern in his voice and it only made the pain in her middle worse.

  “Is it true?” She whispered around the lump that threatened to choke her.

  “What? Is what… Fuck. Shauna, where are you darlin’? I’m coming to get you.” She heard the way his voice changed, he sounded panicked.

  “No. I don’t want to see you. I want you to leave me alone.” She sobbed as the pain in her belly threatened to steal her breath.

  “Not happening. You need to understand what happened. Let me explain.”

  There was a pleading note to his voice, but she didn’t care.

  “I loved him. He was everything to me and you killed him!” The words ripped from her throat.

  “He asked me to Shauna, like River. Mav asked. I had to give him an honorable death. Please listen to me.”

  “You should have told me! You used me. How could you have done that to me?”

  “I’m sorry Shauna, I’m so sorry. You’re right. I should have told you first, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk losing you.”

  “Bullshit! You couldn’t risk not getting laid!” She screamed it. She was so angry, she didn’t care who saw her or heard her. She was too angry to care.

  The elderly lady who had been walking toward her shook her head, but Shaun
a didn’t care. She let her tears flow as she wept for the man she’d loved.

  “Now child. It can’t be all that bad.” The old woman came to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

  Shauna could hear Ricky’s voice on the phone she still held in her hand, but she couldn’t respond. Her world had shattered and she didn’t know what to do.

  “Dakota. I need to get to my son.” She whispered.

  “No honey. He’s like them, he’s a monster too. Just leave him and he will forget you before the sun sets.”

  The words pierced the fog that had surrounded Shauna. She tried to jerk away, but the woman was stronger than she looked.

  “Stop it child. We will help you, cleanse you from your wickedness. Come now.”

  “No!” Shauna fought her way loose, but two men were there to grab her. She screamed and fought, but they had her. She heard Ricky shouting in the phone that now lay on the sidewalk. Would he even bother looking for her now?

  Yes. Ricky had made her a promise and no matter what she felt about his dishonesty and whatever had happened between him and her husband, she knew he would keep his promise.

  He would find her.

  “Leave me alone!” She screamed as she continued her fight with renewed strength causing one man to drop her on her ass. She pushed to her feet.

  “Come on now. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m here to help. You’ve been hurt enough, I know that. Let us help you.” One of the men said as he rushed toward her.

  She screamed. He lunged for her and wrestled her to the ground. Her legs got tangled in the robe and she knew she was showing more than a little of her pretty red undies, but she didn’t care.

  “Hurry up Pete.”

  “I’ve got her.”

  “Hurry. Van is by the curb. Want to grab the other one?” one of her attackers worried.

  “Nah. this one will do for today. We need to get her out of town.”

  Shauna fought like an animal, she kicked and bit at them, but the man that held her was as strong as an ox. He tossed her into the back of a van and climbed in with her.

  “Get the hell out of here!” He yelled and the van sped away from the park.

  “Calm down lady. We are here to help you.” The driver shouted. “For shit’s sake, what’s wrong with her? She should be thanking us.”