“We have to go back,” Loreena shouted. “If you keep going this way, you’ll die. Do you hear me? You have to turn around.”
He ignored her.
“Dirk!” She hit him on the shoulders with her fists. “Turn around!” Reaching forward, she tried to get hold of one of the handlebars. “Stop. You have to stop!”
He pushed her hand away, but she tried again, thrusting her whole body against his back. “This isn’t real. Remember the bar. Remember Saul!”
“I told you to shut up, bitch!” His elbow slammed hard into her ribs. She clung to the bike and to him until he turned and with his right hand seized her shoulder. In one mighty push, he tossed her off the bike.
Her left leg slipped across his back as she fell, her screams whipped away before she could hear them. The sensation of falling was like what she’d experienced with Ben. Squeezing her eyes shut, she ducked her head, expecting the worst. The pavement would surely rip the skin away from her body.
Loreena?
Saul’s voice, from somewhere in the sky. For several moments the sensation of falling enveloped her senses, the wind blotting out every other sound, until it stopped.
Everything stopped.
It took her a moment to realize she was back. Solid ground supported her, and from what she could tell, she wasn’t hurt. Opening her eyes, she saw only shadows. And sulfur. The smell of sulfur. She let go of Dirk’s hand, her own hot and tender.
“Saul?”
Her brother groaned.
Gravel poked into her back. Up on her hands and knees, she felt around. One hand fell on Dirk’s body, the other, tender one on his leather vest. He lay still and heavy, like Russell had, but different, because this body was strong, large, and only moments before, full of raw power. Repulsed by the stiffness, she shrank away, and then after a few breaths pushed herself forward again.
“Dirk?” She dropped her ear to his chest, but heard no heartbeat. “Dirk!” Feeling her way, she reached his neck but dared not touch his skin. She shook him instead, her hands on his thick shoulders, his collar stiff against her wrists. Trying her palm over his shirt, she waited for the feel of a heartbeat, but nowhere did he show signs of life.
The man was dead.
Loreena backed away from him, shaking. She found her discarded glove a few feet away, sheathed her burned hand, and crawled toward her brother. Stones poked into her knees. “Saul. Saul, you there?”
He responded with another groan.
The band was still playing, the music flaring in the distance, the bass booming a steady beat so couples could dance together across the floor. Loreena moved to where Saul lay and helped him sit up against the car behind him. “Anything broken?”
He coughed and spat. “My ribs. Maybe my jaw.”
Loreena tried to see, blinking her eyes and moving closer to his body, but everything was a mixture of gray and black shadows again. Nothing stood out with any clarity. Everything about him was invisible to her, yet just moments ago she had seen Dirk’s greasy face all too clearly. “We have to get you to a doctor.”
“What happened?”
She sat to his side, squatting down by his right hip. How was she going to explain this?
“What did you do? He looks like he’s….” He shifted to get a better look. “What happened?”
The fanged demons had all been black and white and gray, Dirk’s afterlife strangely monochromatic. The road had been black, and Dirk’s onyx ring, and his leather jacket. Even his skin had been a cement sort of color, the folds around his mouth deep and dark. Now all of that was unmoving on the ground and she couldn’t see it, couldn’t picture his large body lifeless and non-threatening just a few feet away.
“Loreena, what did you do?”
“He was going to kill you.” The sound of the metal against metal echoed in her ears. “He had a gun. He pointed it at you.”
“I know. But then what?”
“I had to stop him.”
“Oh my God. Is he dead?”
Both of them turned toward the sound of Crystal’s voice.
“Saul? Christ. Is he dead?” She passed them by and ran over to Dirk. “Is he?” When they didn’t answer, she stepped closer to the body. After another moment she squealed. “He’s dead!”
“For sure?” Saul said.
“Shit, what are we going to do now?”
Loreena sat back as the girl ran by again and landed with a flourish of dust and floral fragrance and alcohol on the other side of Saul. “Baby, are you okay? Huh?” Her hands were all over him, brushing, patting. “What did he do? Didn’t you tell him you would get the money?”
Loreena’s eyes shifted back and forth. Crystal was concerned now?
“I told him,” Saul said. “He didn’t give a fuck.” He tried to sit up straighter, wincing. The band had stopped playing, the night strangely still as if everyone at the bar knew something bad had happened and had gathered at the door to look out.
“What did you do to him?” Crystal said.
Loreena didn’t answer.
“Hey, sis,” Crystal said. “What did you do?”
Loreena blinked. “What?”
“He had a gun,” Saul said. He braced himself against the vehicle behind him and started to stand.
“I know that! But she grabbed his hand, and then he just fell down, like she poisoned him or something.”
Loreena’s eyes widened. She had seen it. Crystal had been the one hiding behind the cars, the footsteps Loreena had heard. The girl had to have sneaked out, curious about the fight, about how her boyfriend was doing. She’d sat there and watched while Dirk pulled the gun, while Loreena took the man’s hand and toppled him to the ground.
Saul panted with the effort of getting up, his throat tight and wheezy. Loreena stood, grabbed his arm, and ducked her head underneath it, supporting his weight on her shoulders. Without a word, she started walking forward.
“What did you do?” Crystal said.
Neither Saul nor Loreena answered.
“You killed him, right?” When they still didn’t answer, Crystal ran up from behind and fell into step. “Frank’s not going to like this. He’s going to think you did this, Saul.”
Saul limped along, his shirt damp with sweat and blood. Loreena could smell it, the cigarette smoke on the fabric dampened by body odor and open wounds. “He’s dead?” Saul whispered to her. “Lor?”
Her heart throbbed in her ears.
“She killed him!” Crystal said. “She had to. No one else was there.” She walked behind Saul, her steps betraying an uneven gait. Loreena pictured her looking forward and then back, checking and rechecking the dead man. “What are you going to tell Frank? Shit. He’s going to be lit when he hears about this.”
“He had a gun! He was going to shoot him!” Loreena rounded on the girl. “You would have preferred he’d done that? That Saul’s body be the one on the ground back there?”
Surprisingly, Crystal had no response.
“Come on.” Saul spoke in a low voice, walking forward again. “We’ve got to get to the car.”
Loreena walked with him, wondering if her words had been too loud, if they were too close to the bar to be speaking that way. Crystal came along, quiet now. The music started again, this time from a jukebox instead of the live band. The musicians must have gone home. Was it that late?
And then the footsteps started coming, many of them. People were leaving the bar, and they were coming toward the three of them, to get into their cars, to walk across the parking lot, to eventually see all there was to see.
“Hurry.” Saul pulled his arm from Loreena’s shoulders and walked faster. Loreena clung to his shirt until she was again seated in the back of the Mustang, feet braced on the floor, the incessant wind blowing hard against her face.
________
The air was quite a bit colder than it had been earlier that evening. Loreena sank down as low as she could, using the top of Crystal’s seat as a shield, but still she was sha
king, her teeth chattering. Saul continued on at full speed for several more miles before easing up on the gas. The wind slowed, allowing Loreena to smell the scent of wild grasses, corn, and fertilizer. They were somewhere on the outskirts of town.
“You gonna ask her what she did?” Crystal said. She’d been quiet until then—surprisingly so, Loreena thought, having expected the girl to start in the minute they hit the main road. Saul didn’t answer.
It was all ruined now. The night had started out so positively: the creamy drink in her mouth, her dance with Saul, the warm feeling of reconnecting, if only for a few moments. But then Dirk had arrived and destroyed everything, and now, for the first time, she had crossed the line. Her uncle’s preaching voice rang in her ears. He wouldn’t approve of this. She doubted he would even be able to believe it. But the man was going to shoot Saul. One more second and he would have fired.
She leaned forward between the bucket seats. “Can you turn on some music?”
Saul moved to hit the switch. Crystal grabbed his wrist. “No way. We need to know what happened. If she did it, it wasn’t your fault. You can tell Frank—”
“What, that my sister’s to blame? Are you out of your mind?”
Loreena sat back. She’d retrieved her other glove and now held her hands between her knees, one still warm from the burn. They passed through a cooler swath of air, the car climbing a gradual incline. She pressed her teeth together to stop their chattering. Saul wasn’t headed back to their uncle’s place.
“Are you going to ask her?”
The Mustang went faster. They climbed up and up, leaning left and right as they maneuvered around the curves. Somewhere in the back of Loreena’s mind she remembered this, a hill on the north side of town. It wasn’t overly large, but tall enough to provide a view of the streetlights below and the stars above. She thought she might have seen it once, many years ago, when they’d come to visit with their mother.
Crystal turned in her seat. “You gotta tell us what you did.”
“Let it be,” Saul said.
“She did something to him. He was dead. But she didn’t shoot him, and there was no knife. You know what she did? What you’re going to tell Frank?”
“Hell with Frank.”
“He’ll send someone else. He’ll finish the job.”
Finish the job?
“Not your problem,” Saul said.
Loreena leaned forward to better hear what they were saying. Dirk was dead. She had assumed that would be the end of it.
“They’ll come after me next,” Crystal said. “Frank’s going to know.”
“Dirk was the only one who saw you.”
“How do you know? You didn’t know Dirk was coming, did you?”
“He’s dead now, isn’t he? Right?” He paused. “He’s dead?”
“Yeah,” Crystal said. “But that’s the problem.”
Loreena tried to tuck her hair back into the bobby pins. Her uncle would think she looked a mess when she returned.
“Lor? Is he?”
Her hair in place again, she let the wind blow the perspiration off her face. “Yes.”
“What?”
She spoke up. “Yes.”
A few more miles passed under the wheels, all uphill, and then they leveled off. After about another half mile, Saul turned on the blinker, pulled over on a stretch of gravel and parked. He left the engine running, the vibration steady underneath them. For a long while he said nothing, and then he reached into his pocket, grunting a little as the movement reminded him of his wounds. Loreena heard the familiar crinkling of the plastic covering, and then the smell of cigarette smoke. She turned her head away.
The night was chilly, but at least the wind was light. She imagined the stars glittering above them, how there would seem to be so many more of them here, away from town. What had it been like before, when their mother was in the driver’s seat? Loreena couldn’t remember what time of year they had come, what the view had looked like, or if they had arrived during the day or the night. But her mother had played music on the radio. Sonny and Cher.
“You gotta tell us.” Saul exhaled. Cigarette smoke tainted the air.
Was he on Crystal’s side now? Loreena set her jaw. It wasn’t her fault his boss had sent Dirk after him.
He turned the key. The Mustang relaxed. Loreena’s hand hurt, the burn hotter this time. She wondered if it had something to do with the person’s life force, a big man like Dirk more difficult to transfer than someone already more than halfway there, like Russell. Had it been that way with Ben? She couldn’t remember. It had been so strange the first time. She longed to remove the glove and wave her palm back and forth to cool it. The engine settled into stillness, the silence pushing against her ears.
“Lor,” Saul said.
“He was going to shoot you.” It was all she could manage to say.
Saul took another drag and then got out of the car, closing the door behind him.
Loreena wrapped her arms around herself. She could feel Ben’s slim hand in hers. He’d had long fingers, an artist’s fingers, with rough calluses on the tips. She brought her hands up in front of her face and tried to see them. Why was this happening? She looked up and wished she could find her mother’s brown eyes in the shadows, ask her that question.
Saul’s footsteps carried him farther away.
“Where are you going?” Crystal asked. “We’re wasting time. The cops are going to come looking.”
The footsteps stopped. Up here, it was so quiet. No other cars passed by. Loreena wished she could see the view, the town below revealing itself in the shining yellow glow of the streetlights. She would get out too if she could, sit on the hood, but Crystal was in the way.
“Saul!” Crystal said. “Come on.” When he didn’t answer, she crawled over the console and landed in the back next to Loreena.
Loreena shrank against the door.
“What did you do?” Crystal asked. “What? Speak up!”
“He had a gun.”
“What did you do?”
Loreena’s throat tightened. “He started counting.”
The girl leaned forward. Loreena sensed the heat of her skin, the putrid smell of her breath. One hand pressed against her thigh, supporting the girl’s weight. “You don’t tell us right now exactly what happened, your brother could end up dead. Tomorrow. You want that?”
Loreena shook her head.
“That big guy? Dirk? He was just the beginning. See, Saul owes them some money. He’s got a deal going down tomorrow, but now that Dirk’s dead, word’s gonna get back to Saul’s boss. That’s your fault.”
“Saul would have died.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I told you. He was counting. He got to four.”
Crystal waited. “Then what?”
“I stopped him. I had to.”
“You slow or something? How? How did you stop him?”
“Leave her alone.” Saul walked back to the car and opened the door. “Come on, get out of there.”
“How?” Crystal asked. “You poison him?”
“Out!”
Crystal hesitated, and then sighed and crawled out of the car.
“You too,” Saul said to Loreena. “Remember what Mom told us? You have to get out. See it without windows.”
She hadn’t remembered that, but she imagined it, her mother’s voice directing them. “There aren’t any windows. You have the top down.”
“You know what I mean.”
She got out of the car. Closing the door behind her, she kept her hand on the metal, steadying herself. The night opened up wide and vast around her, nothing between the top of her head and the endless dark space above the Earth. She swayed a little, the memory of the dark tunnel fresh in her mind.
“It’s the hill on the north side, remember?” Saul said. “The smaller one, butting up against the bigger ones. The tip on the town’s hat, Uncle said.”
“Uncle said that?”
/> They moved to the front of the car. Holding his breath, Saul slid up on the hood and then exhaled slowly. Loreena thought of the ribs he’d said were probably broken. Crystal hung back. “We came up here in high school,” he said.
“Who?” Loreena asked.
“To park,” Crystal said. “Haven’t you ever been parking?”
Loreena didn’t answer.
“The town’s below us and a little to the left,” Saul said. “You can see the lights on Main, a few other streetlights. The movie house lights are off, but you can see the one on the church, the tall one.”
Loreena leaned against the hood on the passenger’s side and tried to picture it. Saul was slipping into his old role, sharing with her what he saw, a surrogate set of eyes.
“Otherwise it’s pretty dark,” he went on. “No moon—not yet, anyway. Lots of stars, though. Stars as far as you can see. Big dipper over there, almost behind us on the right. Orion over here on the left.”
The car engine ticked and clicked beneath her. The hood felt warm. Her mother would have walked out, gone to the edge to look over. Loreena wondered where the edge was, how far from where they stood.
“I brought Julie up here once,” Saul said.
“Who was she?” Crystal asked.
“You jealous?”
“Need to be?”
He exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Cheerleader. Couldn’t believe she went out with me.”
“All of twice,” Loreena said.
“Probably didn’t like my car at the time.”
“Didn’t like how you ran over her cat.”
“Hey. Current girlfriend standing here.”
They fell silent again. Saul tossed his cigarette butt.
Loreena wondered what time it was. Her uncle would be worried. Still, she was afraid to see him, afraid he’d be able to tell just by looking at her what she had done. She pulled her jacket closely around her and crossed her arms. Suddenly she felt tired, dead tired, and longed for her quiet room and her bed. The effects of the alcohol were waning, leaving her with a headache and a dull film over her teeth. She licked them and listened to the night, to the deep stillness of it. It was peaceful here, removed, as if they had stepped out of their lives for a moment.
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