by Pepper Pace
“Is that the CP?”
“I think so.” She thought about what it would be like for Amberly; the both of them, their sensitive skin…and then she buried the thought away.
“Baby…your seizure and your orgasm are so similar.” He opened his eyes but didn’t say anything. “What if…one day we’re doing it and you go into a seizure?”
“That will probably happen, Robin.” He looked at her closely. “Powerful emotions can trigger them. Does it bother you?”
She shook her head and averted her eyes. “What should I do?”
“Are you asking me if you should continue? Because I would love nothing more than to wake up to the sight of you making love to me.” He pulled her into his arms and nuzzled the top of her head.
After a few moments of quiet, Robin began to hum softly and then began singing a song by Paramore called The Only Exception. Next she sang Poetry Man since he always seemed to want that. And when that was over she paused. Robin listened for his loud even breathing and determined that he was asleep so she sang the last song only because she didn’t think he’d hear it; To be Invisible by Curtis Mayfield.
“What are you doing singing a song like that?” He asked in a sleep gruff voice.
She lifted her head. “I thought you were sleeping. Were you faking?”
“No.” He rubbed her shoulders, eyes half closed. “You start singing something by Curtis Mayfield and I’m wide awake.” He kissed her. “Robin, no more being invisible—no matter what happens, okay? Promise me.”
“I’m not invisible.” She finally said.
“Right.”
Chapter 18
“I’m too tired for church.” Jason announced the next day. His hands moved beneath her shirt and she pushed them away gently.
“Don’t…not before church.” She whispered as if god was watching her.
He lay on his back and smiled to himself. “That felt good last night, didn’t it?”
She climbed out of bed. “Yes! I can’t wait to do it again, but not until after church!”
He sat up, leaning on his elbows. “You never answered my question.”
“What?” She was considering the logistics of getting back home and into church clothes.
“Do you want me to cut my hair?”
She squinted at him. “For my mother? No way! I don’t care what she thinks about your hair.”
“No, silly, for you.”
“Jason, I love your hair whether it’s short or long. But it seems like you would be able to handle it better if it was short.” Though she didn’t mind combing and brushing it. It reminded her of when she was a kid with dolls whose hair she combed so much that they were all half bald. She never understood how she couldn’t have silky hair like her dolls or like Mama. But as time went on she grew to love her hair and to stop trying to tame it with relaxers.
“Come on, baby, get up. We gotta get back to my place so I can change.”
“Mmmm, Robin’s mysterious lair. I’ve been waiting to see that.” The two of them got ready to head to her apartment. She warned him that it was too small to be wheelchair accessible and so although he knew that he should not be walking, he put on braces and used his crutches.
He was dressed in khaki pants and a button up shirt and jacket. He looked like the college students that she had pictured in her mind before she had actually seen the real thing and realized that they didn’t dress like preppy rich kids after all.
Robin left Jason in her living room to explore while she hurried to the bedroom to slip into a Sunday dress. The first thing Jason did was to open the curtains. This place was dark. He wasn’t surprised that it was neat but was surprised that it was small and didn’t reflect any personality. She had no pictures on the walls and no real knick knacks. She did have a bookshelf that was over run with all kinds of books. On the bookshelf, where a small nook was left, there was a picture of a dark skinned black man. It was Robin’s father without a doubt. He had her smile and her round face. He picked it up, examining it for a moment.
There was a television set within an entertainment center and he examined the music he found. Very eclectic. Robin had lots of oldies some Aaliyah, Eagles, Ludacris, Nappy Roots, Alexander Hamilton. He went into the kitchen next and checked out her fridge; barely any food. Well she was hardly ever here. He sighed.
He didn’t like her apartment.
He went to the bedroom where Robin was rooting around her closet floor for the proper shoes. Jason’s eyes scanned every inch of the small space and then he smiled. This was Robin; this room, this is where all of her life was reflected! It was in the Erykah Badu poster that was on her wall, the oversized bed with a suede comforter, crazy shag rug, another bookshelf with more books, dresser with more photographs; this time including her mom, dad and herself.
She had clothes on her floor and a laptop on her bedside table and different types of perfume and makeup littering the top of her dresser. He grinned. There was a pink shopping bag from Victoria Secrets and he smiled even brighter.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched her slip on pumps, find accessories, moisturize her hair, spritz on perfume, apply makeup, before she finally turned to him with a nervous smile.
“How do I look?”
“Good enough to eat…but you told me that I have to wait until after church before I can do that.” He winked at her to let her know that he was just kidding.
They got to Robin’s mother’s house a bit early because Robin explained that her mother hated tardiness. When she moved to get his wheelchair Jason said that he wanted to walk. Robin gave him a doubtful look.
“Well…how are your legs?”
“Not bad.” They would get bad, but not for hours.
“Jason, if they get sore I’ll get the wheelchair, so just let me know.” He promised that he would, even though he knew he wouldn’t. He would just grin and bear it because he wanted more than anything to walk today for his girl. They went up to the porch and Jason saw Robin’s mother peering at them from the front window. Instead of just opening the door, she waited until after Robin had rung the bell. Well, it was obvious that she intended to play games.
Mrs. Mathena opened the door and her eyes took him in. Now that he was standing he was taller than her and that fact seemed to surprise her.
“Hello Justin.”
“It’s Jason, Mom.”
“Hello.” He replied.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” She pulled Robin into a hug and Jason cringed. She even had to force her hugs onto people. Grrr! Well he had already developed a dislike for this woman, but he still wanted to maintain some type of relationship with her.
“Come inside, you two.” She led the way into a big spacious house. It was picture perfect; Better Homes and Garden; a house that you looked at not lived in.
Betty had spent a restless night thinking about Robin’s stomach ailments and their disagreement from the night before. She could not seem to get it out of her mind that her daughter might be loss to her due to cancer or an ulcer that had gone unchecked. She was ashamed that her last few words with her could be about who she was dating. Robin was all that Betty had and though she wanted the world for her, she realized that her nagging words would just upset Robin more. So last night she had resolved to make the best of what she had to deal with…for now.
As she glanced at the boy that her daughter was fooling around with, she was a bit surprised that he was standing and getting around on crutches. It made him seem less…disabled. She didn’t like him, that wasn’t going to change, but she would wait for a better time to convince her daughter of that very obvious fact.
“You have a beautiful home, Ma’ame.” Jason said.
Mrs. Mathena turned and clutched her hands. “Well, this is the home that Robin grew up in. To hear her talk you might think that it was a dungeon.” She said, not looking Jason directly in the eyes. “Do you want something to drink? Robin can get us refreshments while we visit. Have a seat Jason.” She gestur
ed to a wing chair and he moved slowly to it and sat down. Robin went off to the kitchen, reluctant to leave the two of them alone.
“So. I understand that you are in school.”
“Yes Ma’ame. I go to the University of Cincinnati.”
“And what are you studying?”
“Computers and business.”
“I see. Do you like it?”
“Yes. Robin told me that you were a CPA. I thought about taking accounting. I like numbers.”
“You like what?” She asked.
“Numbers.” He said, trying not to slur his words. “I like numbers.”
“Oh.” She said, distracted by his voice. “Is Robin your first girlfriend?”
Wow, what a jump in subject. “Yes. And I’m her first boyfriend.”
“True.” Mrs. Mathena sat back a bit. “What do your parent’s do for a living?”
“My Mom works for The Friend’s of the Public Library.”
“Oh, she’s a librarian?”
“No. She’s one of the Chairpeople for the Nonprofit organization; the Cincinnati Branch. They help bring in the support for the libraries and they orchestrate the fundraising activities.” Mrs. Mathena’s brow moved up slightly. She was surprised to hear that. The woman looked little more than trailer park trash to her; wearing her tight jeans, t-shirt, and a ponytail, but she supposed that anyone could clean up well.
Robin came in then carrying a tray with three glasses filled with iced tea. One glass had a straw in it. She handed that one to Jason who took it carefully. It was only filled halfway and Betty watched him curiously. His fingers moved slowly, seeming to stretch or bend without his urging. She watched Robin hold the glass until she knew that he had a firm grip on it, before handing another glass to her mother and then sitting down on the couch next to her.
“Thank you, Robin.” Jason said and took a sip of tea, utilizing the straw.
“Thank you, honey.” She added.
“You’re welcome.”
“And what does your Dad do?”
“My Dad owns several sporting goods stores in Kentucky, Indiana and Ohio.”
Betty looked at him with more interest. Even Robin hadn’t known that, and she listened intently. Of course they never talked about his Dad. She was curious about him but that wasn’t a topic that he seemed willing to discuss.
“Which stores?” Betty asked.
“Fleet Sports.”
“Fleet?” She leaned forward suddenly. “Those are your Father’s stores?” Well…this boy was rich.
“Yes.”
Robin’s mouth parted. Why hadn’t he mentioned this before? No wonder his mother was worried about whether or not she was taking his money. And no wonder he never seemed to care about his share of the DJ gigs, or the CD sales. Jason had money.
They talked for a few moments more, just about the beautiful weather, and if Jason was a member of a church; which he indicated he wasn’t. Robin noticed that her mother seemed less judgmental. She didn’t think that meant that she actually was this way, but just that she was politely concealing any negativity. Robin wasn’t complaining, though.
They loaded into her mother’s car; Jason in the front seat so that he could stretch his long legs. He gave Robin an apologetic look to which she squeezed his hands as if to say, ‘you’re the one that has to sit next to her, so my apologies.’
They arrived at World Christ Fellowship Church before services. Many people mingled around the entrance and Jason was curious at how he would be introduced. The first person to greet them was a tall, older black man. He reached out to take Mrs. Mathena’s hand while watching him in open curiosity.
“Sister Betty, how are you?” The man reached out to take Robin’s hand. “Hi, honey. Who is your guest?” Robin opened her mouth but her mother was quicker.
“This is Jason Hamilton. He is a friend of Robin’s.” The man held out his hand for Jason to shake and he did, giving the man’s hand a firm grip.
“Hello Jason, I’m Elder Morris Preston. Great to see you today.”
“Thank you.” Jason responded. “I’m happy to be here.”
Two other women joined them and Betty looked cool as she introduced Jason again as Robin’s friend. Jason noticed that the people were curious but polite and they asked him questions about church and where he had gone before. When he said that he didn’t have a church family they seemed to converge on him all the more.
Robin hid a grin as they exchanged glances, especially when First Lady said that they would sure love to have Jason as a regular member. They gave him a jar of homemade preserves with the church’s card attached.
Jason was pleasantly surprised at how welcomed he was made to feel. He had never been to an all black church before. The only other church experience that he’d had was as a child when an outreach group had sent a school bus around to various children with disabilities. He attended Sunday school until he had a seizure which freaked everyone out. The school bus never picked him up again.
Sometimes people asked how he and Robin knew each other and no matter what she was doing, Mrs. Mathena made sure to stop in order to state that Robin was a caregiver and that he was one of her clients. He and Robin exchanged secret looks, neither seemed to care that she had yet to use the phrase; my daughter’s boyfriend.
Service was due to begin and Robin leaned towards Jason to whisper in his ear as everyone entered the church.
“Are you going to have a seizure during the service?”
“Most probably.” He responded honestly.
“We usually sit near the center but we can sit in back if you want.” He nodded his agreement. To have a seizure during a church service would be bad but to have it IN FRONT of the entire congregation sucked big time.
“Momma, Jason and I are going to sit in back in case he has a seizure.” She said to Betty who was waiting for them to follow her to their seats.
“A seizure?” Her face looked tense. What was this about a seizure? Why hadn’t Robin mentioned this before?!
“Robin…” She took her daughter’s arm and led her away a few steps. “You can’t have that boy disrupt services by having a seizure.”
“He won’t disrupt it. He’s pretty quiet. I can tell Pastor to just continue-”
“Oh no! You two are going to have to leave.”
Robin gave her mother a surprised look. “Leave?” She could barely believe what she was hearing. “Leave…no. I’m not going to leave.” People walked past them and Betty gave them huge, fake grins. Robin just sulked. Betty wanted to pinch her and tell her to put on her church face.
“Robin dear,” she whispered again. “These folks are our church family; but there are some big gossips in here-” The organ music began and Robin took a step away from her mother.
“Mama, service is starting. You better take your seat and Jason and I are going to be right here in back.” Robin walked away before she could say another word. Sweat was beading on her forehead and she felt suddenly tense. Jason leaned heavily on his crutches waiting for Robin to reach him. He could see the stress on her face and he frowned.
“What’s wrong?” She just shook her head and led him back to one of the last pews. The church was a nice size but there were still no empty pews; they had a great Pastor and a large congregation. They sat down next to a young couple. She remembered when they had gotten married because they were a couple in their twenties—her age-- and she had wondered when her day would come. Now she gave them a brief smile as she and Jason took their seats, each greeting the other with head nods and smiles. Robin wondered if this would be her and Jason’s church and one day it might be him and her getting married here. She gripped his hand and then the tension eased from her body. He gave her a worried look but her smile let him know that she was doing better.