“You used to like things muddied up.”
The teasing half-smile and glint in his eyes made her want to kiss him and wallop him all at the same time. “I need to rescue Trent. You can meet Andrew, but I don’t want to tell him about...you...tonight. Let him spend a little time with you first.”
“So long as you understand this conversation isn’t over.”
Conversation? Was that what they’d been having? “I’d forgotten what a prince complex you have, bossing everyone around.”
She headed in the direction Trent and Andrew had disappeared, relieved to be back on stable ground without the confusion of his touch, his kiss. Then realized she hadn’t a clue where they’d gone. “Where is the kitchen anyway?”
Chase strode forward with the loose, athletic stride she’d always enjoyed. As though he was in no hurry to get where he was going but still covered the ground with remarkable speed.
“This way.”
His warm palm pressed her lower back again as he pulled a penlight from his pocket, shining it on the ground in front of her. “Watch your step. Rocks sometimes appear as though they rolled there themselves.”
As they walked in the starlight, the whole thing felt surreal. The heat of his hand on her back, the timbre of his voice, the same small, worn penlight illuminating the dusty path. As though the years hadn’t passed and they were back in Honduras again, feeling close and connected. She stared fixedly at the uneven path, determined to resist the gravitational pull that was Chase Bowen.
Chase shoved open a door and slipped his arm around her waist, tucking her close to his side as he led her down a short hallway. Quickly, she shook off his touch.
“Stop,” she hissed. “Drew needs to get to know you without your hands all over me.”
“Sorry. It’s so nice to touch you again, I keep forgetting.” He raised his palms to the sky, the picture of innocent surrender, and she again had the urge to punch the man who obviously knew all too well how easily he could mess with her equilibrium.
Several camp lights dully lit the room, showing Drew sitting at a high metal table, his legs dangling from a tall stool. The low light didn’t hide the melted ice cream covering the child’s face from the tip of his nose down, dripping from his chin.
“Hi, Mommy!” He flashed her a wide grin and raised the soggy cone as if in a toast, chocolate oozing between his fingers. “Dis ice cream is good!”
“I can see that.” She nearly laughed at the guilty look on Trent’s face as Drew began to lap all around the cone, sending rivulets down his arm to his elbow.
“I’ll clean him up.” Trent waved his hand towards Drew, looking a little helpless. “Didn’t see the point of it until he was done.”
“Don’t worry, making messes is what Drew does best,” she said, giving Trent a reassuring smile. “Right, honey?”
“Wight!” Drew shoved his mouth into the cone, and the softened ice cream globbed onto the table. He promptly dropped his face to slurp it straight from the flat metal surface then swirled his tongue, making circles in the melty chocolate.
“Okay, no licking the table.” Chase probably thought she’d never taught the boy manners. Hastily, she walked over to lift his wet, sticky chin with her palm. “Finish your cone, then we’ll find out where we’re sleeping. And you’d better do it quick, ’coz it’s about to become all cream without the ice part.”
“You know, Drew,” Chase said in a jocular tone that sounded a little forced, “when you stick your tongue out like that, you look like a lizard. We have big ones around here. Maybe tomorrow we’ll look for one.”
Drew’s eyes lit and he paused his licking to look up at Chase. “Lizards?”
“Yep. Maybe we’ll catch one to keep for a day or two. Find bugs to feed it.” Chase moved from the sink with two wet cloths in his hands. His thick shoulder pressed against Dani’s as he efficiently wiped the chocolaty table with one cloth then handed it to Trent, whose expression was a comical combination of amusement and disgust.
Chase lifted the other cloth to Drew’s mouth, his gaze suddenly riveted on the little boy’s face. Their baby’s face. Still cupping Drew’s chin in her hand, Dani stared at Chase. Every emotion crossed his face that she’d long imagined might be there if he knew about his son. Within the shadowy light she imagined that through all those mixed emotions it wasn’t horror that shone through but joy. Or was that just wishful thinking?
Her breath caught, remembering how many times in the past two and a half years she’d thought about what this moment might be like. After the miracle of Drew as a newborn and when he’d cried through the night. When he’d first smiled. Crawled. Run.
Her throat closed and she fought back silly tears that stung the backs of her eyes as Chase lifted his gaze to hers, wonder filling his.
The sound of Trent clearing his throat broke the strange spell that seemed to have frozen the moment in time.
“I’m going to head to my room, you three. See you in the a.m.,” Trent said, smiling at Drew.
Heat filled Dani’s face. “I appreciate you getting him the ice cream. I don’t think there’s much doubt he enjoyed it.”
“Yeah, thanks, Trent.” Chase and he exchanged a look and a nod before Trent took off, and Dani could see the two of them were good friends. Something that often happened when working in the GPC community, but not always. Occasionally personalities just didn’t mesh and a strictly professional relationship became the best outcome.
Then there were those rare times that an intimate relationship took over your whole world.
“I think this one’s done, Lizard-Boy,” Chase said, taking what remained of the soggy cone and tossing it in the trash. He took over the clean-up with an efficiency that implied he’d had dozens of children in his life, wiping Drew’s hands then pulling Dani’s hand from her son’s chin, about to take care of his gooey face, too.
The frown on Drew’s face as he stared at the stranger washing his face while his mother stood motionless snapped her out of her stupor.
She tugged the cloth from Chase’s hand and took over. “I’m not sure if you ate the cone, or the cone ate you,” she said lightly. She rinsed it again, along with her own sticky hand, before dabbing at the last spots on Drew’s face.
“Dat’s enough, Mommy.” Drew yanked his head away as she tried for one last swipe of his chin.
Spud poked his head into the kitchen. “Everything’s ready, if you are, Dani. Tomorrow Ruth is coming to meet both of you and take care of Drew while we give you the low-down around here.”
“Great. Thanks.” She lifted Drew onto her hip and turned to Chase, inhaling a fortifying breath. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yes.” His gaze lingered on Drew. When he finally looked at Dani, his eyes were hooded and his expression serious. “Tomorrow will be a big day.”
* * *
Dani awoke to a cool draft, and she realized Drew was in the process of yanking off her bed sheet.
“Hey, you, that’s not nice. I’m sleeping.”
No way could it be morning already. She pulled the covers back to her chin but Drew tugged harder.
“Get up. I hungry.”
She peeled open one eye. From the crack visible between the curtains, it looked like the sun had barely risen above the horizon. “It’s too early to be hungry.”
“Uh-uh. My tummy monsters are growling.”
Even through her sleep-dulled senses Dani had to smile. Drew loved the idea of feeding the “monsters” that growled in his stomach. “What color monster’s in there today?”
“Blue. And green. Wif big teeth.”
He tugged again. Dani sighed and gave up on the idea of more sleep. Doubtless both their body clocks were off, and no wonder. Sleeping on a plane was something she never managed to do well, but Drew had conked out both on t
he plane and in the car, and she’d been amazed he’d slept at all once he’d got into bed.
“All right. Let’s see what there is to eat.”
She threw on some clothes but left Drew in his Spiderman pajamas. It took a minute to remember which door led to the kitchen, and she hesitated in the hallway. Getting it wrong and ending up in someone’s bedroom was an embarrassment she didn’t need. Cautiously, she cracked open the door, relieved to see a refrigerator instead of a sexy, sleeping Chase Bowen.
“Let’s see what your monster wants,” she said, pushing the door wide as she nudged Drew inside. To her surprise, Trent was sitting at the table, sipping coffee and reading.
“When I took this job, no one told me the hours here were dawn to dusk,” Dani joked as she plopped Drew onto the same stool he’d sat on the night before.
“Spud’s a slave driver, I tell you,” Trent said with an exaggerated sigh. “Actually, I just finished up an emergency surgery. Clinic hours don’t usually start until nine. Coffee?”
He started to get up, but she waved her hand when she spied the percolator on the counter. “Thanks, I’ll grab it myself.” Last night, the darkness had obscured most of the kitchen, but this morning showed it to be big and functional, if a bit utilitarian.
“So, do you and Chase share a room?” As soon as the words left her mouth she wondered why in the world she’d asked. She stared into her cup as she poured, heat filling her face at the look of impassive assessment Trent gave her in response.
“No. The medical workers used to stay with families nearby, but they built the sleeping quarters you’re in a couple years ago, with small rooms for everyone.”
“Oh. Can you tell me where there’s oatmeal or something for Drew?”
“Top cupboard on the left. Spud fixes breakfast around eight. Chase runs every morning.” He leaned his back against the table and sipped his coffee. “But you probably know that.”
She did know. The man was a physical fitness nut. “How long have you worked with Chase?”
“We’ve worked together in the Philippines and Ghana. Been here a year. Both our commissions are up, but we’re hanging around until there are other surgeons here and we get new assignments.”
Did that mean Chase might not be here long? A sharp pang of dismay stabbed at her, which was both ridiculous and disturbing. Shouldn’t she feel relief instead? It would be so much better for Drew if Chase moved on before the two got too close.
“Mommy, I need food,” Drew said, fidgeting on his stool.
Lord, she had to be sure this whole mess didn’t distract her from the work she’d come to Africa to do. If she couldn’t even get Drew’s breakfast going, she was in serious trouble.
In a sign that their new, temporary home was practically made for her and Drew, two of his favorite foods sat in the cupboard. Dani microwaved the apple-flavored oatmeal and opened a box of raisins.
Trent got up and pulled some construction paper and crayons from a drawer to place them in front of Drew, poking a finger at his pajama top. “While your mom gets your breakfast, how about drawing me a picture of Spiderman climbing a wall?”
Wow, the man sure knew kids, and she wondered what Trent’s story was. Just as she was about to ask, he beat her to the questions.
“So, obviously you and Chase go back a while. Where did you meet?”
“Honduras.” Back then, her expectations for mission work had been so starry-eyed and naive. And the last thing she’d expected was to meet a hunky, dynamic doctor who’d knocked her socks off. Among other things.
Apparently, Trent expected more than a one-word answer, looking at her speculatively. It was pretty clear he wondered if her arrival was bad for Chase. Her stomach twisted. Who knew if this situation they were in was good or bad for any of them?
“I’d just finished my pediatric residency and wanted to do something important for a while,” she said, tucking raisins into the steamy oatmeal to make a smiley face. “Go where kids don’t get the kind of medical care we have at home.”
She didn’t add that she’d stayed months after her contract was up because she hadn’t been ready to say goodbye. Knew she’d never be ready. Until she was forced to be.
She slid Drew’s artwork aside to make room for his breakfast. He picked the raisins out one at a time and shoved them in his mouth. “He can’t see now! I ate his eyes!”
A smile touched Trent’s face as he watched Drew dig into his breakfast, but when he turned to Dani, his expression cooled.
“So, why didn’t you tell Chase? Frankly, I think that’s pretty lame.”
She gulped her coffee to swallow the burning ache in her chest that was anger and remorse combined. Who was he to judge her without knowing Chase’s attitude? Without knowing she’d had to protect her baby? Without knowing how hard it had been to leave the man she’d fallen crazy in love with?
“Listen, I—”
The kitchen door swung open and the man in question walked in, which immediately sent her pulse hammering at the thought of what lay ahead of them. Telling Drew, and what his reaction would be when he learned Chase was his daddy. What demands Chase might or might not make in being a part of his son’s life. How it all could be balanced without Drew getting hurt.
Chase filled the doorway, sweat glistening on his tanned arms and face, spikes of dark hair sticking to his neck. A faded gray T-shirt damply clung to his broad chest, his running shorts exposing his strong calves and thighs. His brows rose as he paused in mid-stride, wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt.
“What is this, a sunrise party? Not used to seeing anyone in here this early.”
She tore her gaze from his sexy body to focus on wiping Drew’s chin. “Andrew needed food more than he needed sleep. Guess we’re not on West Africa time yet.”
Chase grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge and took a big swig as he leaned his hip against the counter, his attention fixed on Drew. Dani found herself staring as he swallowed. As his tongue licked droplets of water from his lips.
Quickly, she glanced away and swallowed hard herself. Why couldn’t she just concentrate on the serious issues that lay between them, instead of wanting to grab him and sip that water from his lips herself?
Toughening up was clearly essential, and she braved another look at him, sternly reminding herself they’d been apart way longer than they’d been together. His demeanor seemed relaxed, but she could sense the undercurrent of tension in the set of his shoulders, the tightness in his jaw. Obviously, he felt as anxious about their upcoming revelation to Drew as she did.
Trent stood. “Think I’ll get in a catnap before the clinic opens.”
“Don’t worry about getting to the clinic at nine. I can’t take how cranky you get when you’re tired,” Chase said.
“Better than being cranky all the time, like you,” Trent said, slapping Chase on the back. “See you all later.”
The kitchen seemed to become suffocatingly small as Chase stepped so close to Dani that his shoulder brushed hers. His expression told her clearly that it was showtime, and her pulse rocketed.
Why did she feel so petrified? At least a thousand times since he’d been born, she’d thought about how or if or when she’d tell Drew about his daddy. He was still practically a baby after all. Like she’d said last night, he probably wouldn’t think anything of it.
But as she looked at her little boy, the words stuck in her throat. She turned to Chase, and he seemed to sense all the crazy emotions whirling through her. The intensity on his face relaxed, his deep brown eyes softened, and he slipped his arm around her shoulders.
“I promise you it will be okay,” he said, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “No. Way better than okay. So stop worrying.”
She nodded. No point in telling him she’d been worrying since before Drew had been
born, and couldn’t just turn it off now. But deep inside she somehow knew that, even though he hadn’t wanted a child, Chase would never say and do the hurtful things her own father had.
Chase released her shoulders and pulled two stools on either side of Drew’s before propping himself on one and gesturing to Dani to sit on the other. She sank onto the stool and hoped her smile covered up how her stomach churned and her heart pounded.
She wiped the last of his breakfast from Drew’s hands and face and slid his bowl aside. “Drew, you know Mommy brought you to Africa so I could work with children here. But I brought you here for another reason, too.”
Okay, so that was a total lie, and the twist of Chase’s lips showed her he was still ticked about not knowing about Drew. But she was going with it anyway, darn it.
“And that reason is...because...” She gulped and struggled with the next words. “Dr. Chase here is, um...”
She was making a complete mess of this. Drew looked at her quizzically and she cleared her throat, trying to unstick the words that seemed lodged in there.
Chase made an impatient sound and leaned forward. “What your mom is trying to say is that I’m really happy to finally meet you and be with you because—”
The door to the kitchen swung wide and Spud strode in with hurricane force. “A truck plowed down two kids walking to school. One’s pretty beat up. I have them in pre-op now.”
Chase straightened and briefly looked conflicted before becoming all business. He stood, downed the last of his water and looked at Drew, then focused on Dani, his expression hardened with frustration. “We’ll talk later.”
Spud turned to her. “Ruth is on her way to take care of Andrew,” he said. “I’ll show you the facility and the clinic schedule after he’s settled in.”
“I want to help with the injured children as soon as she gets here,” Dani said. She wasn’t about to let the drama with Chase interfere with her reason for being here in the first place, and caring for sick and injured children was a big part of that reason.
Spud inclined his head and left. Chase paused a moment next to Drew and seemed to hesitate before crouching down next to him.
Changed by His Son's Smile Page 3