“I haven’t finished.” He gently grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and brought her gaze back to his. “The reason I acted like such a jerk was because it crushed me to realize it was about to be over between us. I knew I couldn’t live a regular, suburban life in the States. I couldn’t be the husband you wanted and give you the family you wanted. And that hurt like hell.”
She pressed her palms to his chest, feeling his heart beat strong and steady. “I figured you were the kind of guy who just wanted to be free. That I wasn’t enough to make you think otherwise.”
“Not enough?” He cupped her head between his hands and kissed her hard, as though she’d made him angry. When he broke the kiss, he looked down at her with disbelief etched on his face. “Too much. More than I deserved. A woman who was everything—a caring doctor who made everyone around her smile, a woman with an adventurous spirit, a woman any man would be damned lucky to have in his life. And on top of all that, so beautiful you made my chest ache every time I looked at you.”
His eyes seemed to look deep into her heart. “I love you, Dani. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. And now you’ve given me Drew. He’s a miracle I didn’t think I could have in my life, but a miracle I can’t imagine being without now.”
Her throat closed and she wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a kiss she hoped showed him how much his words had moved her. How much they’d given her hope that a good life for the three of them really might be possible.
Their lips separated, and the emotion shimmering between the two of them caught her breath and expanded in her heart. The clear night, the fragrant air, the softness beneath their blanket, all wrapped them in a quiet intimacy neither wanted to have end just yet.
Chase settled back to lie flat next to her, shoulder to shoulder, fingers curled together as they stared at the stars.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
DANI FINALLY BROKE the long, relaxed silence. “I’m always amazed at how the Big Dipper looks just the same here as in the States and Honduras,” she said, trying to lead up to the conversation they needed to have about Brady.
He chuckled. “Yeah, amazing, Miss Astronomy. Remind me to not have you teaching Drew about physical science.”
She playfully swatted him. “You know what I mean. That the world, really, is such a small orb in all of the universe, with billions of people floating together through space.”
“Yeah.”
She turned her head to look at him. “Your mom told me about Brady.”
Silence again stretched between them, this time no longer calm and relaxed. The sound of his heavy sigh mingled with the chirp of crickets until he finally spoke. “Because we moved so much, Brady and I were best friends. We did everything together, even when we made friends with local kids and kids of other doctors and med professionals.”
“I never had a brother or sister, and always wished I did.” She squeezed his hand. “I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to lose him.”
“Yeah. One minute he was with us, the next he was gone.”
He turned his head toward her, the softness that had been in his eyes earlier now gone. Replaced by the hard and determined stare she’d become accustomed to when he objected to Andrew being in Africa.
“Now you understand why Drew can’t live here. Why, short term, Panama would be safer. Why it’s best for the two of you to live in the States until he wouldn’t be as susceptible to a serious illness.”
“So you’d be okay with our living there and you living here, or in Central America, or in India?” Trying to wrap her brain around how that would work was hard. But his mission work was such a big part of his life, it would be wrong to ask him to give it up completely. Even if he did, he’d ultimately resent it, and very likely Drew would sense that resentment.
Could she give up her desire to do mission work, too? Was it fair of him to even ask? Or perhaps she could convince Chase to compromise, every few years working together in somewhat safer locations like Panama.
“I’d be in the U.S. several months a year.” His fingers tightened on hers and his breath brushed her cheek. “It’s not a perfect solution, but I know we can make it work.”
Could they? Just hours ago she’d been sure the answer was a resounding “No.” But maybe, just maybe, an imperfect solution could still be the best solution.
“Now you know about Brady. It’s your turn,” he said, rolling onto his side, head propped on his hand, his fingers sliding across her stomach again. “You said something about knowing what it’s like to have a parent think you’re a burden. Why?”
“My parents were college sweethearts. Dad was the only child of a well-to-do family. Apparently there were expectations that he’d concentrate on school, get an MBA and eventually take over the family business.”
He touched his lips to her shoulder. “And?”
“Mom got pregnant. And that didn’t fit into anyone’s plans. They didn’t get married, but his family’s lawyers set up child support. Which wasn’t much because, at that time he was just a student and the court didn’t factor in his family’s money.”
“And he never had much to do with you?”
“No.” She shook her head, surprised that, even now, she felt a sliver of hurt over it. “He complained to her all the time about any extra expenses she asked for help with. Sometimes plain refused. When Mom tried to get him to talk to me on the phone, he was curt and got off as fast as possible.”
“Did he pay the child support?”
“Oh, he dutifully sent the checks, and his parents even paid for part of my med-school tuition. Which they didn’t have to do, and I was grateful for it.” His hand moved to cup her ribs and she turned her head to look at him. “But every time I invited them to some school event, they came up with an excuse. Said they were too busy. He married somebody in his social sphere, but never had kids. He and his wife travelled all over the world. Still do, I suppose.”
Enough with the self-pity, which was absurd after all these years. She lightened her tone. “Hard to believe I never even got the souvenir shirt that said ‘My dad went to Paris but all I got was this lousy T.’”
“So you felt unwanted and unloved by him and that felt like crap. I get why you’ve been so worried Drew would feel the same way.” He cupped her face in his hand, his dark eyes earnest. “You do know I’ll always be here for both of you, don’t you? Always.”
She did know. The man was the most honorable and caring person she’d ever met. “Yes. And if we decide—”
“Uh-uh.” He rolled onto her, pinned her beneath him, pulled her hands above her head and silenced her with a kiss. “I know I’ve been pushing you hard for an answer, but now I’m pulling back. Giving you three weeks before we talk about it at all. Then we’ll come back here and have this conversation again.”
“Just the conversation?”
His teeth were white in the darkness as he grinned, pressing his body into hers as they sank deeper into the spongy earth. “Well, you know what they say about all talk and no action...” With the sun barely peeking through the curtains, Dani couldn’t believe how wide awake she felt. As she stretched, she had to smile at the little aches and twinges from the previous evening’s physical activities.
She rolled over and closed her eyes to try to get another hour of sleep. After ten minutes or so it was very apparent that wasn’t happening. She stood and pulled on sweats and a T-shirt and peeked at Drew. His sweet lips were parted as he slept soundly and she kissed his head before creeping out the door to make some coffee.
As she expected, the kitchen was quiet and empty, but to her surprise the delicious scent of coffee filled the room. Early-bird Chase must have made it before his run and workout.
Perhaps he was finished and already in the shower. The thought of finding out and joining him there was more t
han tempting and she walked down the hall to peek into the shower room.
Darn. Dark and quiet. She smirked at the disappointment she felt. Since when had she become a sex maniac?
She knew the answer. Since being with Chase again.
It was hard to believe an entire week had gone by since his parents had left. A week of fulfilling work and lovely family time. Not to mention all those close and intimate moments with Chase after Drew was asleep.
In mere days the man had managed to make her fall headlong in love with him again. Or maybe the truth was she’d stayed in love with him all this time. In love with his strengths and his commitment to others and those deep brown eyes she sank into every time she looked at him.
And, of course, she loved his knee-weakening kisses. The thought sent her mind back to the shower and the fact that he must still be out running and would need one when he returned. Her heart did a little pit-pat, and it was clear she needed a distraction from her libido. A vibrant sunrise peeked through the window, and she wandered outside to enjoy it.
Streaked gray clouds stood out against a magenta sky, the bright orange ball of the sun casting, as it rose above the horizon, a beautiful pink glow across the savannah. She took a sip of her coffee, letting the taste linger on her tongue, then nearly choked as a movement by a nearby tree startled her.
Chase. Doing rapid push-ups like he was in an army boot camp. Doubtless he’d already been for his run and was engrossed in the rest of his fitness regimen. Thank heavens he hadn’t dragged her out of bed to join him. Next would come squats and lunges and some kind of upper-body work, and he was the worst drill sergeant ever, with no sympathy for anyone’s tired muscles. Not to mention that Chase had given her muscles a very good workout last night.
His biceps bulged and deltoids rippled and just as Dani was admiring all those manly muscles, he jumped up and ran to a tree, leaping to grasp the lowest branch to start on pull-ups.
She’d almost forgotten how beautiful his body was. Even during their lovemaking, when she’d seen him naked, run her hands over his solid strength, she’d been so focused on other things she hadn’t taken the time to admire him, which had been pretty much her favorite hobby in Honduras.
But now, with the vivid sun silhouetting his wide, muscular shoulders, his powerful chest, his strong thighs, she let her eyes savor him. It was all she could do not to walk over and slip her hands beneath his T-shirt, currently hiking up with each movement to expose his belly button and the line of dark hair on his taut stomach. To feel his smooth skin all slippery from sweat.
Thinking about that made her feel very warm, like she was the one doing all those pull-ups. Better get back inside before she couldn’t resist dragging him into the shower or back to bed, which wasn’t a good idea with Drew waking up soon. Or before Chase spotted her and made her hit the ground for push-ups and sit-ups of her own.
Now, there was an alarming thought. She backed towards the door, turning to escape.
“Running away scared?”
She looked over her shoulder as he dropped to the ground and walked towards her in that easy, athletic stride of his.
“No. I’m not afraid of your workouts. You can put me to the test any time.” Which he’d done last night. And the night before. Unable to resist his seductive and convincing kisses, she’d completely failed every test. Or aced them, she thought with an inward smile.
“Yeah?” He stopped in front of her and pulled her into his arms. Warm brown eyes smiled into hers before his lips slipped across hers, feather soft.
With his arm draped across her shoulders, they walked together to the kitchen, and Chase poured more coffee into her cup.
“Thanks for making coffee. You sure know the way to a girl’s heart.”
“I know a few other ways, too.”
“You do?” The way he looked at her, the smile on his beautiful lips, had her leaning in for a kiss, stroking her hand down his damp shirt and over the bulging front of his shorts.
“Is that all you think about?” he teased, his voice a low growl. He picked up a covered plate from the counter and slid the foil off. “I was referring to Ruth’s coffee cake.”
“Well, that is another way to my heart.” The cake did smell delicious, but not quite as delicious as Chase.
“I’m thinking this earns me double points,” he said.
“It does.” She pinched a piece and stuck it in her mouth. “Definitely. So what do you want to use your points for?”
He pulled her close for a kiss, lips clinging before he pulled back, the corners of his eyes crinkled, his lips teasingly curved. She could get used to waking up to this. To the taste of warm coffee and Chase on her tongue.
She poked another piece of cake into her mouth and Chase licked a crumb from her lips. “I’m thinking my points should get me—”
The kitchen door swung open and Trent walked in then slapped his hand over his eyes. “Could you two please keep your romantic moments out of the public areas of the compound? I’m afraid to go anywhere now for fear of having my innocence corrupted.”
“Your innocence was corrupted long, long ago, Casanova,” Chase said. He moved to the counter and poured a cup of coffee, handing it to Trent. “When are you leaving for your vacation?”
“In about an hour. I’m meeting a friend in Brussels, and we’re going to do a little European tour for a few weeks.”
“Would this friend be of the female persuasion?” Chase asked.
“Of course.” Trent swigged some coffee and rocked back on his heels. “What would be the point of spending a few weeks with a man? Working with you for the past year has been torture enough.”
Dani laughed. She’d heard about Trent’s reputation, and wondered how much of it was really true. “I hope you have a great time. And that you enjoy your stint in India.”
“Thanks.” He turned to Chase and reached to shake his hand. “God knows why, but in all seriousness I’ll miss you. I hope we work together next time around.”
“Me, too.”
They smiled at one another with an obviously close bond forged between two doctors who spent their lives doing what so few others did. As difficult as it would be to pull up roots and start somewhere new every year, part of Dani envied their amazing commitment.
“Good thing you’re spending your vacation here as I hear the only doc coming to replace both of us is going to be a week or so late,” Trent said.
“Yeah. Think they’ll give me double pay for working through my vacation?”
“You’ll be lucky if they don’t pay you in goats and yams.”
Both men grinned, and Trent set his coffee on the table to give Dani a warm hug. “You take care of Drew and keep me posted on how he’s doing. And best of luck with this one.” He jabbed his thumb towards Chase. “Because you’re definitely going to need a lot of luck.”
“Thanks. I know.” She looked over at Chase’s smile, her heart lifting with a sweet ache, and knew she already had a whole lot of luck in her pocket.
Trent left, and Chase pulled her close for another quick kiss. “Tomorrow we’ll be busy, with just the two of us here. What do you think about taking Drew back to the hotel today to swim and have lunch? I’ve got a taste for the burgers they serve there.”
“Sounds perfect.”
His hands drifted down to cup her rear. “I need a shower. Feel like joining me?”
“If Drew’s still asleep, we can—”
He grabbed her hand and practically pulled her out of her shoes as he hurried her down the hall. “I’m ready to redeem my double points. Like right now.”
* * *
Dani took the last swig of her iced tea and chuckled as she watched Chase and Drew play in the hotel pool. They’d been at it for hours, with only short breaks, and she knew their son would sleep very well ton
ight.
“And then Superman swoops into the ocean to save Metropolis!”
Chase held Drew’s small body between his hands as he dove him headfirst into the water and back up to the surface.
“Again!” Drew swiped his hair and the pool water from his eyes, his grin nearly stretching from one ear to the other. She hadn’t realized until she’d seen him all wet how much the child needed a haircut, and made a note to do that tomorrow after work.
She had to laugh at the way Drew held his arms stiffly at his sides like the true Superman, and at Chase’s silly comic-book commentary. How amazing that the child who had never liked water being poured over his head to rinse out shampoo now adored being completely underwater. He even liked to jump straight in from the side of the pool, as long as his daddy was there to catch him.
Chase was so good with him that she felt ashamed that she’d ever believed he’d be a distant dad. Yes, there would be physical distance while Chase worked overseas, but Drew would always know how much his daddy loved him, of that she no longer had any doubt.
A few other women sipping drinks by the pool barely concealed the way they eyed Chase, and who could blame them? With his handsome face and bronzed skin over all that muscle, he truly looked like the Greek god she’d teased him about being when they’d made love outside in the moonlight. And he could be...was...all hers.
She stood and walked to the side of the pool. “It’s four o’clock, you two. We need to be leaving pretty soon.”
“I not done saving Metroplis,” Drew said. “Mommy, watch me dive!”
“All right, Superman. Here we go again.” Chase grinned at Dani and readjusted his hands on a wriggling Drew before he dunked him beneath the water again.
The grin on Chase’s face suddenly died, replaced by a deep frown. He started wading toward the shallowest water, holding Drew up against his chest.
“I not done swimming, Daddy.”
“I know. I just want to check something.”
The odd expression on Chase’s face set off an alarm in Dani’s brain. Something was worrying him, and he wasn’t a man prone to worry.
Changed by His Son's Smile Page 14