by Blake Pierce
“Chloe…how did you…?”
Her father was starting to lose the battle with his emotions…which seemed fitting because a small part of Chloe’s mind felt like it was coming unhinged. She had thought about this moment forever and now that it was here, she realized that she was not ready for it. She had not properly prepared herself. Coming directly off of the heels of her first arrest and watching her partner nearly die had certainly not helped, either.
“I’m so proud of you,” he said through the tears.
“I don’t care, Dad. I know that sounds bad but…I didn’t come here for encouragement or some sappy moment between us. I don’t know why I came.”
Yes, you do, she thought. Seeing Rhodes like that…all that blood and her life literally in your hands there for a moment…it made you think of him. It made you think of the day you saw your mother dead at the foot of the stairs and your father being taken away in handcuffs.
“Do you know…that it wasn’t me? Someone did. My sentence was reduced and…”
“I know it wasn’t you that killed Mom,” she said. “We know Ruthanne Carwile did it. I found that out several months ago. But…that doesn’t change too much for me. You were in on it… You were… You wanted it to happen. Enough so that you’re still in prison for conspiracy to murder.”
“I know,” he said. “And no…I didn’t want it to happen. I’m so sorry. Chloe…please believe me. I’m a changed man now. I’m so different now and I hope you can forgive me. I hope to be out of here soon and I didn’t even know how I’d go about getting back into life. If I had you and Danielle there to help me…”
“Why didn’t you just tell the truth?” Chloe asked. “Ruthanne’s name never came out of your mouth during the trial. I looked back over the old records just to be sure. And you never mentioned her. Not once.”
“I was…I was in love.”
“Just not with my mother?”
“We fell out of love a long time before that. She’d tell you the same.”
“But I can’t ask her because she’s fucking dead,” Chloe spat.
Aiden recoiled at the comment, as if someone had thrown a punch at him.
“Even with Ruthanne taking the charge of murder, you’re still on the hook, too,” Chloe said. “Not with the prison system. That’s already been taken care of, I guess. I mean with Danielle and I.”
“Did Ruthanne tell you everything?” he asked.
“She told me enough.”
“I doubt she told it all. If she chose to do so, she could tell her complete side of things and free me completely.”
Chloe sighed and looked away, not liking the sight of him in tears. “I didn’t come here to talk about Mom or Ruthanne.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I was so close to someone that nearly died today. I had them under my hands as they bled out. And for the longest time, whenever I have thought of death, I think of you.”
He wiped tears away from the corners of his eyes and did his best to regain his composure. Part of Chloe felt miserable; she was not intending to be so venomous toward him. It was simply coming naturally.
“I thought about you the other day,” he said, almost randomly. “Someone was talking about amusement parks and roller coasters. It made me think of that time we went to Virginia and we took you girls to King’s Dominion. Remember how you threw a fit because you were too small to get on that one ride that had all the loops, but Danielle was like two inches taller and was able to go on?”
She felt something go loose in her chest and her own tears came now. She lowered her head, refusing to let him see her cry.
“Stop,” she said. “You can’t do that. You aren’t allowed to do that.”
“Chloe, I just—”
Before she realized what she was doing, Chloe got to her feet. “I have to go,” she said. “This was a mistake. A huge mistake.”
“Chloe, just please think about it. I don’t know when I’ll be released, but it could be soon. And I want a life with my daughters.”
“I thought the plans were for you and Ruthanne to reunite,” she said. “Sorry if me arresting her fucked that up for you.”
“I’m so sorry, Chloe! I was in love and wasn’t thinking straight. It was all messed up! I can’t help that I was so messed up in the head over Ruthanne! I’m sorry!”
She stopped at these last few comments and turned back around to him. She wanted to hurt him and the next thing out of her mouth felt appropriate.
“I wish I could forget you like Danielle has. I wish I could hate you, Dad. But…I can’t and I don’t know why. Even after finding out you didn’t actually kill Mom…that it was just that bitch Ruthanne…”
“Chloe…”
“I have to sever everything with you or I’ll go crazy with all of the wondering. And I know how to do it. I have to know.”
“Know what, Chloe?”
“Did you love Mom? Did you ever really love her?”
“Of course I did. I always did, I think. I wish I could explain to you how wrecked I was in the months—hell, the years that passed after her death.”
“That’s bullshit, Dad.”
“Chloe, I—”
“What, asshole?”
But he could only shake his head. When she saw a tear spill down his cheek, she sneered at him and walked back toward the exit. She nodded at the guard and he walked out ahead of her, opening the door.
The walk from the visitation room to the parking lot felt even longer and harder than the one she had taken from the interrogation room with Mike Dillinger and back to her car. Knowing that her father—the man she had wondered, dreamed, and reflected upon for most of her life—was right behind her made her feel like a little girl running away from a disappointed parent. And for all she knew, that’s exactly what was happening.
But even through that, the logical part of her mind had latched on to something he had said—some bit at the end when she had been leaving. I was in love and wasn’t thinking straight. It was all messed up! I can’t help that I was so messed up in the head over Ruthanne!
It made her think of the seemingly bizarre relationship between Kim Wielding and Mike Dillinger. It made her wonder if there was something she had missed. She had instantly started assuming that Dillinger would lead them to whatever dark answers there might be. She had been so fixated on that, she had almost overlooked Kim. Maybe she had some secrets she was hiding. Maybe Kim, like Ruthanne, had been living with secrets that had come dangerously close to breaking the surface.
With that concept taking shape in her head, Chloe headed back the way she had come, beginning to round off an almost six-hour drive that had resulted in a visit that had lasted less than fifteen minutes.
But as far as Chloe was concerned, that had been far more than enough.
As far as she was concerned, she was fine if she never saw him again.
CHAPTER TEN
She supposed it was emotional exhaustion that allowed her to fall asleep so quickly that night. She lay down at 10:30 and fell asleep almost right away. When she woke up the following morning, she was amazed to see that it was 7:50. She checked her phone and saw that there were no missed calls or texts, though she did have several emails. One of them was from Assistant Director Garcia and had been sent to her and several others—people, she realized after checking the email addresses of them all, who were agents with the ViCAP program.
She read the email as she sat up in bed, feeling incredibly well rested.
As many of you know, Agent Rhodes was shot in the line of duty yesterday. After surgery, doctors were calling her case stable. As of 11:30 tonight, doctors have indicated that she is out of the woods and on a road of recovery that should last just a few weeks.
The email went on to give the address of the hospital in Landover, as well as Rhodes’s room number. Chloe was glad that her name had not been mentioned in the mail. Simply hearing Garcia and Johnson tell her how doctors had claimed she had essentially saved her partner’s
life had made her feel uneasy.
Chloe got ready for the day casually, smiling at the remembrance of how she had rushed through getting ready the day before in an attempt to beat Rhodes. She was at work just before nine o’ clock. She got a few smiles and nods as she made her way to her cubicle on the third floor. She thought of checking in with Garcia or Johnson but decided not to. She just wanted to get to her desk without having to think about anything that had happened yesterday.
She went onto the bureau’s network and saw that the file on Kim Wielding had been updated. There was more information on Mike Dillinger and the crime scene at the Carvers’ home. She printed off all of the new files and gathered them up, adding them to her files. She then spent the next several minutes at her desk, drinking coffee and reading up on the case.
Dillinger had still not admitted to the murder of Kim Wielding. In fact, he was now flat-out denying it. While he had been denying the murder or any sort of physical involvement with Kim, the feds had managed to crack his decrypted files. They had all been homemade sex movies of a graphic nature—some borderline rape—though there was nothing inherently criminal on them. There was an investigation into two of the women on the films, with the suspicion that they were possibly under eighteen years of age.
Agents had also uncovered deleted history on his laptop, indicating that Dillinger spent a lot of time on the dark web. He had ordered DMT and heroin from a supplier in the last three weeks but it was later on in the history—as well as additional proof in his bank statements—that would nail him even if he did turn out to be innocent in Kim Wielding’s murder. He was selling the movies he was making at home on the dark web. There were deposits in his bank account for small amounts from these deals and, from what agents had discovered, Kim Wielding had even been featured in one of the more recent films he’d sold.
Feeling a little sick to her stomach at this news, she then tried to focus on Kim Wielding’s information. She didn’t learn anything new. Kim had gone to a great college, had once worked in Washington for a few political organizations, and had then quit without any real reason. And somehow, she’d become a nanny.
That doesn’t seem right, she thought. To go from a promising career in DC to a nanny…something had to have happened.
As she started to consider this path, someone knocked on her cubicle wall. She turned around in her chair and saw Garcia standing there. He grinned at her and took a look at the newly printed pages and her growing file.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d come in today or not,” he said.
“I’m fine. I figure some desk work, reading through these files on Wielding and Dillinger would at least keep me busy.”
“I take it you heard the good news about Rhodes?”
“I did.”
“You might want to visit her. Johnson visited her and said she asked about you. I think she’d like to see you.”
“I may do that,” she said. “Hey…do you know what happened with Kim Wielding? What caused her to stop chasing a career in DC to start working as a nanny?”
“I’m not sure. I think she just got burned out. Political crap isn’t for everyone, you know? But we actually have an agent assigned to look into that. Maybe the two of you can work together on that if you want. So you don’t think Dillinger killed her?”
“I’m starting not to. All of his movies and interests…they point to sex and nothing else. Gratification. Exploitation. The only reason I can find for him to kill someone that he made one of these sick movies with is because they knew about it and were thinking of turning him in.”
Garcia nodded. “Sounds reasonable. Maybe I will hook you up with this other agent. You interested?”
“Sure.”
“Be honest, Fine. Don’t push yourself.”
She thought about meeting her father yesterday and of the blood she had finally gotten off of her hands when she had returned home late yesterday afternoon.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Research and digging is easy. I think I can manage to avoid shootouts in my cubicle or back in suburbia.”
“I’ll let Director Johnson know. For now, is there anything you need from me?”
“No thanks.”
Garcia gave her a wave goodbye and left her to the files on Kim Wielding and Mike Dillinger. And while all of the information was easy to follow and even seemed to lead down paths of reason that were intriguing, her mind wandered over and over back to her father and what he’d said to her about Ruthanne Carwile: “I doubt she told it all. If she chose to do so, she could tell her complete side of things and free me completely.”
She started to wonder what exactly Ruthanne’s “side of things” was. And then in the back of her mind, she wondered if Danielle might know something about it. She’d always been a big secret keeper and always seemed to either clam up or get defensive whenever their father was mentioned.
When the thought wouldn’t leave her mind by lunchtime, Chloe made a decision that made her feel a little guilty. She phoned up Garcia as she gathered up the Wielding files.
“I think maybe I did push it a little,” she said. “You mind if I head home? I’m going to take the Wielding files with me just to keep my brain active.”
“That’s fine. Just go enjoy the weekend. We’ll see you back on Monday. And I talked with Johnson about getting you back on the Wielding case with this other agent. I’m pretty sure you’ll start on that come Monday.”
“Thanks again,” she said, ending the call and wasting no time in getting to her feet. She gathered up her files and headed for the elevators, feeling like she was playing hooky right before a big test.
***
She sat on one of the chairs at her small kitchen table, her feet kicked up on a box of books that had still not been unpacked. She looked hard at Danielle’s number before actually placing the call. Even after what they had gone through in uncovering most of the truth about the murder of their mother, it was still awkward to speak with Danielle. And knowing that she was going to be bringing up their father this time…that made it even more of a harrowing thought.
She finally pressed Call, doing so as if she was hitting the detonator on a bomb.
“Hello?” Danielle’s voice answered seconds later.
“Hey. How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
“Fine.”
God, this is awkward, she thought.
“Good,” Danielle said. “Now that we have that totally banal introduction out of the way, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not going to make it tonight like I had planned.”
“It’s okay. I figured you’d back out. You really never were the late-night drinking type.”
“It’s not that. The last twenty-four hours have been…”
“Have been what?” Concern bloomed in Danielle’s voice and the kindness of it made tears sting at Chloe’s eyes.
Chloe opened her mouth and for the next ten minutes, she told Danielle about hunting down Mike Dillinger and the shooting. She didn’t stop until she recounted her leaving the police station in Landover and having a miniature breakdown in her car.
“Chloe…my God. I’m so sorry. What do you need? Do you need me to come down there and be with you for the weekend?”
“No,” Chloe said, moved beyond words at the gesture. “But thank you. There is something else I should tell you, though.”
“Chloe…are you okay? What is it?”
“I went to see Dad yesterday.”
The silence on the other end of the line spoke louder than any actual words Danielle had said so far. When she did finally respond, her words sounded barbed and thick.
“Why in God’s name would you do that?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Chloe said. “The adrenaline and the feelings that were running though me…my mind went to him. And I’ve been wanting to talk to him ever since we found out the truth…about Ruthanne and Mom…”
“Chloe, he’s toxic. You know that, right? If you let him haunt you, it�
��s going to do nothing but pull you down.”
“He says Ruthanne knows details about the story that would prove he had nothing to do with the murder. Enough to maybe free him completely…to end his even already shortened sentence.”
“Oh, bullshit. He’s a loser, Chloe. He always has been. How can you not see that? Of course he says there are details to free him. He wants to stay in your head. It’s his way of controlling you. Damn, aren’t you supposed to be the FBI agent here? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s trying to do.”
“Maybe. But…Jesus, Danielle…why are you going off like this?”
“Because he’s a miserable son of a bitch and he doesn’t deserve any more of my thoughts or time.”
“I think you and I should talk,” Chloe said. “Sort through all of this.”
“I’d love to meet with you and talk. But not about him.”
“Danielle…”
“Dammit, Chloe. Can’t you see that I’m finally starting to get my life together? Why do you have to bring the past back up like this?”
“Because I have to let it go. We have to let it go.”
“Oh, I have!”
“Have you? Then why do you get so angry and defensive about him?”
Danielle sighed heavily through the phone. “Chloe, I’m going to get off of this phone before I say something I shouldn’t. When you get things back to normal, I’d love to see you. And my offer stands…if you need help getting over what happened to you yesterday, call me and I’ll do my best to come down there to see you. But I can’t go through this right now.”
And with that, Danielle ended the call. Chloe remained seated, staring around the apartment. Boxes still needed to be unpacked, the TV still needed to be plugged in and hooked up. The place was chaotic and messy. Chloe couldn’t help but wonder if she was putting it all off on purpose. If it did not feel like home, she’d not be able to think of it as home.
And right now, she felt a very long way away from any true sense of home.
CHAPTER ELEVEN