“I–I’m calling about Dad. He was in an accident on the way to work this morning, and he’s in the hospital.” Kenny’s voice trembled. No doubt he struggled with his emotions. “My friend Shawn’s mother brought me to the ER. I’m here now, waiting to find out more about Dad.” His voice had dropped to just above a whisper.
Sara’s fingers touched her parted lips as she gasped. “Oh no. How bad is he hurt?”
“Real bad. He may not make it, Sara. Can you please come? I need you here with me. I can’t go through this alone.”
Sara’s thoughts became so fuzzy she could barely think. She’d never heard Kenny in this state of mind and knew things must be very serious. She would have to explain the situation to her boss, and ask for time off. Even if it meant losing her job, Sara had to go. Her brother needed her. He had no one else. “Try not to worry, Kenny. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Sara clicked off the phone. As she made her way to the back room, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach grew heavier with each step she took. What will happen to Kenny if Dean doesn’t make it? He’s too young to be on his own.
Chapter 37
Mary Ruth pushed her feet forcefully against the floor to get the rocking chair moving faster. She’d been concerned about Sara ever since she came home from work early and announced that she’d gotten word of her stepfather having been in a serious accident on his way to work. She hadn’t given many details, because she didn’t know much, but Sara had quickly packed her suitcase and informed them that she was heading for New Jersey.
“You’d better be careful with that rocking chair or it might topple over backward.” Willis shook his finger at Mary Ruth, before taking a seat in his recliner. “I can tell you’re brutzich.”
“You’re right. I am fretful.” Mary Ruth slowed the rocker. “I wish Sara would have let me go with her when I offered. Someone should be there for her during this difficult time.”
“Sara explained that she might be in Newark for several days or even weeks,” Willis reminded Mary Ruth. “She didn’t want to take you from the work you have to do around here. Besides, Sara’s brother will be with her.”
“True, but she’s there to offer him dreeschde, and if her stepfather doesn’t make it, she will definitely need someone to comfort her.”
“Let’s cross that path when the time comes.” Willis reached for his Bible lying on the end table beside his chair. “In the meantime, we need to read a few passages of scripture and lift Sara, her brother, and Mr. Murray up in prayer.”
Newark
Sara’s body felt numb as she sat beside her stepfather’s hospital bed. Kenny stood nearby with folded arms, staring at his father’s battered body. The doctors and hospital staff had done all they could, but Dean hadn’t woke up from his unconscious state. Short of a miracle, it didn’t look like he would make it through the night. Sara hoped Dean would live—if for no other reason than for Kenny’s sake. The seventeen-year-old boy needed his father.
Sara glanced at her watch. She had arrived shortly after lunch, but already it felt much later than one thirty. So many feelings raced through her as she watched for any sign of movement from Dean.
She thought back to the last time they had talked, right before the New Year. Dean called to wish me a belated merry Christmas and happy New Year. I should have called him on Christmas Eve or made time to call on Christmas Day. Isn’t that when people are supposed to put aside their feelings and try to forget any differences, even if it’s only for one day?
Sara looked at Dean, and her eyes grew moist as she remembered him saying he wanted to bring Kenny to Strasburg to meet his grandparents. It was unlikely now that it would ever happen.
You need to pray. A little voice in Sara’s head nudged her to do so. She swallowed hard. Why bother. I prayed for Mama, and she died anyway. I always tried to be a good daughter, but God never answered any of my prayers.
Sara recalled her grandpa saying in a message he’d preached several weeks ago and later translated for her: “Prayer isn’t a business transaction. We don’t give something to get something in return.”
Sara’s fingers tightened and bit into her palms. If that is the case, then why bother asking God for anything at all?
Feeling the need for some fresh air and exercise, Sara left her chair. “I’m going down the hall to take a walk,” she whispered to Kenny.
He nodded slowly, then turned toward the window.
Sara slipped from the room, and made her way past the nurse’s station. When she came to a door identified as the chapel, she stepped inside. Sara felt relieved to find it empty. She needed time to be by herself and think.
The room reminded her of the church Brad had taken her to, only much smaller. She noticed two rows of padded chairs facing the front of the room, where a cross hung on the wall next to a stained glass window. Sunlight shone through, casting a warm glow of colorful patterns on a table below the window. A white cloth had been draped over the table, and a black Bible lay on top. A padded kneeling bench sat in front of the table, which Sara assumed was for those who wanted to pray. Sara wasn’t sure she wanted to pray, but what else could she do for Dean right now? How can such a beautiful sunny day have turned so tragic? she asked herself.
Walking slowly to the front of the room, Sara picked up the Bible and took a seat on a chair in the first row. Holding the book against her chest, she bowed her head and offered a simple prayer: Dear God, if You’re listening, please heal Dean’s injuries. And if You choose to take him, please give me the right words to help Kenny deal with his loss.
Sara heard someone come into the room, and she opened her eyes. When she turned her head, she realized it was Kenny. “How’d you know I was here?”
“I didn’t. Came here to pray.” He sank into the chair beside her. “I’m scared Dad’s not gonna make it, Sara.”
Words wouldn’t come, so she simply set the Bible aside and took hold of her brother’s hand.
“I wish he’d wake up so we could talk to him.” Kenny’s chin trembled, and Sara saw moisture in his aqua-blue eyes. “Things haven’t always been that great between me and Dad. I—I need to tell him I’m sorry for something I said last night.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He nodded. “I told Dad I wanted to go to college and major in music, instead of becoming a plumber after I graduate in June.” Kenny pulled a hanky from his pocket and blew his nose. “Dad got really upset and said he wasn’t gonna waste his money on a college education that might take me nowhere. He said learnin’ the trade he’d learned when he was my age was a sure thing.”
“How did you respond?”
“I got mad. Said if it was you wanting to go to college, I bet he’d pay for it, no questions asked.”
Confused, Sara let go of Kenny’s hand and reached up to rub the bridge of her nose. “That’s not true. He didn’t pay for the business classes I took at the community college.”
“No, but he wanted to. Remember when he offered you the money?”
“Yes, but I thought it was for Mama’s sake that he volunteered.”
Kenny shook his head. “Nope, it was his idea. Dad’s been behind the decision you made.”
“Really? He’s never said so.”
“Yeah he has … just maybe not to your face. But when I came up with an idea like teaching music, he gave me no encouragement at all.” Kenny looked at Sara with a most serious expression. “He may not have said so, but Dad’s always cared about you. There’ve been times when I thought he even loved you more than me.”
“No way, Kenny. I’ve never gotten that impression at all. And just so you know—I didn’t expect anything from your dad. In fact, I had always planned to pay for my education. Someday, if the opportunity arises, I’d like to have my own business to run.”
“What kind of business?”
Sara shrugged. “Maybe a floral shop like the one where I’ve been working. Only, if it were mine, I would incorporate some cr
aft items, homemade cards, and maybe even beaded jewelry, like I enjoy making. Even though I didn’t mind the job I had previously, I’ve known all along working as a part-time receptionist was not for me. It did help pay for school though. And your father helped as well, by not charging me a high rent.”
Kenny’s eyes widened. “I never knew that before.”
“Guess I didn’t think to mention it.” Sara placed her hand on his arm. “And you aren’t the only one having regrets.” She went on to tell her brother about the phone call she’d received from his dad right before the New Year. “He wanted the two of you to come and see me, and meet your grandparents, but it never happened, and now I wish it had, Kenny. I have to ask myself—was I so busy I couldn’t have called him a few times just to chat? All these years, I don’t ever remember actually sitting and talking with Dean. I completely shut him out.”
“I lived in the same house with him, but after Mom died, we drifted apart.” Kenny wiped his nose. “Guess we both have regrets where Dad’s concerned.”
Sara remained silent, taking in all Kenny had said. Things she’d assumed about Dean could not be further from the truth. Her brother seemed deep in thought too, for he was just as quiet. It did Sara good to have this conversation with her brother. Although surprised by what each had revealed to the other, a little weight seemed to lift off Sara’s shoulders. She now saw Kenny in a different light than she had before.
“Kenny, I have to admit … I didn’t realize you wanted to get a degree in music.”
“That’s ’cause I never told you.” He sniffed. “You know I like to sing and play the guitar, right?”
“Yes, but I thought you did it for your own pleasure.”
He bobbed his head. “I do, but I’d like to teach music someday—to elementary school kids or someday even in a high school setting.”
“Sounds like a good goal—definitely something to work toward.”
“Try telling that to Dad.” Kenny’s shoulders drooped. “If it meant the difference between life and death for Dad, I’d give up my goal to teach music.”
Sara had to bite her lip in order to hold back the sob rising in her throat. In all the years since her little brother was born, she had no idea there had ever been any problem between Dean and Kenny, or that Dean actually cared for her. And all this time she’d been holding an unnecessary grudge against him—not to mention the negative feelings she’d kept bottled up about Mama.
Despite her best efforts, tears sprang to Sara’s eyes. What an ungrateful stepdaughter I have been. And I haven’t been much of a sister to Kenny either.
She reached into her purse and fumbled around for a tissue. What her fingers touched instead was a folded piece of paper. She pulled it out and read the message out loud: “‘For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.’ Matthew 6:14.”
The tears came even harder, almost blinding Sara’s vision. This was the same note she had read in one of the prayer jars she’d found at her grandparents’ place. She had no idea how it had gotten in her purse.
Sara turned to face Kenny. “We need to get back to your dad’s room, but before we go, I’d like to offer a prayer.”
He nodded in agreement.
Sara reached for his hand again and bowed her head. “Lord, my brother and I have had some issues with bitterness and an unforgiving spirit. I ask You to forgive us for the sins we have done in the past, and please take our resentment away. Also, be with our dad—for Dean truly is the only father I have ever known. If it’s Your will, we ask that You heal his body. But if You choose to take him, Lord, then please give Kenny and me a sense of peace and clear direction for the remainder of our lives. Amen.”
“Amen,” Kenny repeated.
They opened their eyes at the same time and stood. Knowing they both needed some comfort and reassurance right now, Sara gave her brother a hug. And he hugged her back just as hard.
“Let’s go back to Dad’s room now and sit by his bed. Maybe if we pray hard enough, he will wake up.”
Chapter 38
Ronks
Michelle stood outside the restaurant that evening, waiting for Ezekiel to pick her up. It had been difficult to concentrate on her job today, thinking about Sara and her stepfather. Learning about his accident had put a damper on Michelle’s happier mood this morning, when she was excited to tell everyone about Ezekiel’s proposal.
Michelle could still see Sara’s panicked expression when she’d returned home from the flower shop before Willis had taken Michelle to work. After explaining about Mr. Murray’s situation, Sara said she needed to go to New Jersey right away. When Sara rushed upstairs to pack, Michelle had slipped a note from one of the prayer jars into Sara’s purse. Knowing how Sara felt about her stepfather, Michelle hoped the verse might speak to Sara’s heart. Throughout Michelle’s workday, whenever Sara came to mind, she sent up a prayer on her behalf, as well as for Sara’s stepfather and brother.
Hearing a distinctive clippity-clop sound, Michelle looked down the street. As a horse and buggy drew closer, she realized it was Ezekiel. With no hesitation, she hurried out to the parking lot and waited for him to pull in. Right now, she needed to be with her future husband.
“How was your day?” Ezekiel asked after Michelle got into the buggy. Since it was dark inside the carriage, she couldn’t see his face clearly. But Ezekiel’s upbeat tone let her know he was in good spirits this evening.
“Everything at the restaurant went okay, but things aren’t so good for Sara right now.”
“What happened?”
Michelle explained the situation, including the part about the Bible verse she had put in Sara’s purse. “I am hoping when she finds the slip of paper it will tug at her heartstrings and she’ll let go of her bitterness.” Michelle touched her chest. “I know all about feelings of resentment and how they can eat a person up. But after I found the Lord and asked Him to forgive me for the wrongs I had done, I was able to forgive those who had hurt me so deeply.”
Ezekiel reached across the seat and clasped Michelle’s hand. “Same for me. The bitterness I once had toward my folks has been released, and now we’re gettin’ along much better. It’s not always easy to forgive, but God requires it of us. I hope for Sara’s sake that she is able to resolve things with her stepfather.”
Strasburg
When Ezekiel pulled Big Red up to the Lapps’ hitching rail, Michelle asked if he wanted to come in for a while.
“Sure, but I can’t stay too late. I need to go to bed early. We’re having a sale at the greenhouse tomorrow, and Dad wants me to be there an hour earlier than usual to help him set up for the event.”
“No problem. I’m sure Willis and Mary Ruth will want to go to bed early as well. When Sara left for Newark, they both looked pretty distraught, so I’m sure they are tired.”
Once Ezekiel had his horse secured, they headed for the house. They found Mary Ruth and Willis in the kitchen, drinking tea and eating banana bread.
“Pull up a chair and join us.” Willis motioned with his head.
“Would either of you like a glass of milk or some hot tea?” Mary Ruth asked.
“Milk sounds good to me.” Ezekiel smacked his lips. “And so does a slice of that bread.”
“I’ll get the milk.” Michelle went to the refrigerator, while Ezekiel took a seat across from Willis, and Mary Ruth sliced more bread.
“Have you heard anything from Sara?” Michelle directed her question to Willis, since he was often the one who went out to the phone shack to check their voice mail.
“Jah, but just once,” he replied. “She left us a message saying she arrived at the hospital in Newark shortly after lunch, but we’ve heard nothing since.”
Michelle placed the milk and two glasses on the table before sitting down. “I wonder if Brad knows about Sara’s stepfather.”
Mary Ruth’s lips puckered. “He probably isn’t aware, unless Sara called him.”
“She may
not have.” Michelle stood. “Think I’ll go out to the phone shack and give him a call. It would be good if he knew so he can be praying.” Michelle grabbed her sweater, along with a flashlight, and went out the back door.
Clarks Summit
Brad was about to call it a night, when his cell phone rang. He recognized the Lapps’ number, so he answered right away.
“Brad, it’s me—Michelle.”
“Oh, hi. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, but Sara isn’t. Have you heard from her today, Brad?”
“I haven’t. Is she sick?”
“No. Her stepdad was in an accident on his way to work this morning. When Sara’s brother called to tell her about it, he said his dad had been seriously injured, and it didn’t look good. So Sara packed a bag and headed for Newark.”
Brad rubbed his furrowed brow. “Wow, that’s too bad. I’ll certainly be praying for Sara’s dad.”
“Sara and her brother need prayer too.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll pray for all of them. Please let me know if you hear anything more.”
“I will. Take care, Brad.”
“You too. Bye, Michelle.”
Brad clicked off his phone and sat staring at the stack of study books on the table. What should I do? Should I call Sara and let her know I heard about her dad and that I’m praying for him? This was certainly not the time to discuss the lie Sara had told him about being a Christian. She needed his support, not a lecture, right now.
Newark, New Jersey
Sara and Kenny had been sitting beside Dean’s bed most of the day. The good news was he was still alive, but he hadn’t opened his eyes or spoken to them.
Glancing out the window, Sara noticed the sky had turned dark but some light filtered in from the parking lot. She checked her watch. It was almost nine o’clock, and she was exhausted. No doubt her brother was too. Kenny’s friend, Shawn, and his parents, had come to the hospital a few hours ago. They weren’t allowed into the room, since Dean’s condition was critical and only family members could visit. So Kenny had met them in the waiting room, while Sara remained here, praying for a miracle. Now, as the two of them sat quietly, she’d begun to think that miracle might never come.
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