by Ceri Beynon
“A ball? Wow, fancy.” she teases
“Whose ball?” she asks.
“Its Calix’s family’s winter ball” I announce.
“As in super-mega-watt-hot Calix? Are you dating him?” she asks in shock.
Okay, here I’ll have to come clean.
“Yes, we’ve been together for about a month now” I smile shyly.
“I can’t believe it. You are so lucky. He’s the best looking guy in the whole college. If he’s having a ball that makes him rich too” she says, her eyes lighting up at the prospect.
“I know. He’s gorgeous. Yes, I suppose he must be well off”. And a prince too I think to myself.
“Well this dress needs to be pretty special then” she says with the passion of a girl on a shopping mission.
“Yes, and it needs to be black or purple” I say
“Why? Is there a dress code at this ball?”
“Yeah I guess you could say that.” The whole city has a dress code.
“Now I know that you are dating him you can fill me in on all the gossip. Why haven’t you told anyone before now?”
“I wanted to wait a while because I didn’t think it would last. I’m overwhelmed he would want me myself” I giggle.
“Don’t be. You really are very pretty, although I’d have thought he’d go for the tanned, blonde type” she says.
“Me too. Not some mouse like me” We both laugh.
On entering the first shop, we rush towards anything black or purple.
“This?” Charlotte asks holding up a flapper number.
“Too long. I’ll end up falling on the floor”
“I didn’t think of your two left feet. Good point!” she giggles.
We search around stacks of clothing. Most of the black dresses we come across are either drab or businesslike.
“I want something glamorous yet comfortable” I tell Charlotte trying to point her in the right direction when she keeps picking dresses with built in corsets.
“We’ve looked through this whole store. Lets try another shop” she says sounding slightly annoyed that I didn’t like her suggestions.
“You’ve got it” I respond.
As we walk towards the next shop it has started to sleet, Winter is definitely here.
Walking through the doors, we are greeted by a display of seasonal goodies, chocolate truffles, panettone ,German brand sweets and nougat. I’m so distracted by the treats on offer that I forget I’m looking for the perfect dress. Charlotte hasn’t and is already searching manically through the aisles of clothes. I walk over to join her. There on the end of the aisle labelled ‘evening dresses’, I spot it. A black halter neck with a purple sash and not a corset in sight. I hold it up to show charlotte.
“What do you think?” I ask her barely containing my excitement.
“Oh its perfect” she says mirroring my expression.
I try the dress on in the fitting room and open the curtain to show Charlotte.
“Wow you look a million dollars” she enthuses.
I have to admit it myself, the dress is flattering.
“This is the one” I twirl around and beam at her.
“The perfect dress for the perfect man” she winks at me.
If only she knew his one flaw.
Next evening, dressed for the ball and in high heels, I realize Ill have to walk through the overgrown garden like this. This is going to be tricky.
As I’m applying my lip gloss, I hear a car horn outside. I look out of the window and there is a Rolls Royce parked outside, with Calix waving at me out of the sunroof. I instantaneously join him. This is the first time I’ve ever driven to the city. And it’s the first time I’ve ever been in such a luxurious car.
“I’m so glad you picked me up. I would have taken forever to get to the city in these shoes” I smile at him
“I could always have carried you” he flashes his eyebrows and I nearly collapse with exhilaration.
My face feels like its going to burst with joy I’m smiling so much.
“Hey, don’t forget this is the City of the Broken so at least try to look unhappy” he says seriously.
I try to look sombre but just the sight of those eyes makes me feel higher than I’ve ever been before.
Its paradoxical that the boy who wants to date me because of my melancholic attitude is the one person who has the ability to make me happy.
We drive up to the ancient gate and Calix unlocks it. The car drives through and he returns. We drive along a narrow path that runs through the tangled web of leaves.
When we enter the city, there is a different atmosphere here tonight. There is excitement in the air, although still that morbid feeling. It can be likened to the anniversary of a death, a combination of sadness and celebration . It’s a heady mixture. Mounted police line the streets.
We drive up to the black palace and I see that the flag is up. Calix smiles at me and we hold hands. I hear loud trumpets and a band playing in the centre of the city. Its like a coronation, only the royal well-wishers are in mourning. The whole city slowly marching to the beat of their own out of time drum. I wonder if Calix likes being Prince of such an eerie city. He’s dressed in his gothic Victoriana black frills, I think he must take his role seriously. It such a huge jump, but what if we were to get married? Could I be Princess or Queen of the City of the Broken? Would I have to ban myself from smiling and dress in black constantly? Well I have always found being moody comes naturally, black is slimming and I can’t deny it any longer I love this man.
T he palace gate is opened by the guards upon seeing the Royal Rolls Royce. A crowd has gathered but they don’t cheer ,they stare blankly as they hold on to the black railings. I hear an orchestra and see cars driving the guests to the front entrance. The driver opens the car door and Calix and I step out. He asks for my hand and I oblige, although his stance is more on guard than usual. He is in ‘black prince’ mode as everyone is staring at us. And for the first time I know its not because of what I’m wearing, its because I’m the date of HRH Prince Gothic.
Wow. The palace looks beautiful. There are candles in the chandeliers that line the hallway, giving a soft lit romantic glow which illuminates Calix’s skin and makes him look like an ethereal being. Rich purple carpet adorned with the signature hologram B’s has been laid out for this special occasion The scent of deep wood fills the air and the floor gleams with polish. We walk together hand in hand to the ballroom.
“Nervous?” he asks.
“Yeah, mainly because everyone is staring at us” I reply truthfully.
“You’ll get used to it” he quips.
Does that mean we are in it together for the long run? I hope so. He fascinates me. I’ve become a girl who hangs on every word her boyfriend says. I always felt an extreme curiosity about him. He has a quality I’ve never seen in anyone else. He’s a paradox, a puzzle that just cannot be solved.
The music jolts me suddenly from my musing thoughts. It has turned from background music to dramatic showstopper. Although the guests themselves remain impassive and cold. Giving nothing away, they look like shadows or memories, certainly not mortal. I look up to the platform at the top of the room. There he is, the King himself, Calix’s Father. He looks nothing like I imagined. He embodies the gravity of the city, but he has a more mightier stance than the other citizens, melancholy coupled with sheer determination. He stands and the room falls instantly silent.
Immediately there is an extreme tension that fills the room.
“Welcome citizens to the annual Winter ball of The City of the Broken” ,his voice is gruff and harsh, more forceful than I expected.
“This ball marks our dedication to the city and all it upholds. The music, food and entertainment have been chosen to reflect our attitude and belief that together as Broken citizens we are untouchable”.
“What does your father mean by you being untouchable”? I ask Calix, puzzled by the man who looks like he has never smiled.
“But what about love and happiness? Being broken doesn’t make you strong Calix. It makes you weak for not braving hurt to find happiness. I think your father is just still grieving for his wife.” Upon saying these words I’m shocked by how frank I’ve been. There is something about the King that has wound me up. I expected to like Calix’s father but I just see a cruel, rigid man who has let his personal opinions overtake the city and I cannot hold my tongue.
“Come on Seren, don’t do this tonight. This is our evening, our special date remember?” he says looking so heartbreakingly beautiful that I forget my anger instantly.
The music has changed to a dance number and the guests head out onto the dance floor. We watch the guests dance in perfect step, hypnotically, mournfully while we talk amongst ourselves. The King remains seated, surrounded by body guards and the infamous lady in waiting. He keeps his gaze fixed on us, with occasional flicks of the head in acknowledge of the dance floor. The guests are dressed in black lace, silks, purple velvet. One outrageous invitee is wearing grey. The rebel gains disapproving glances from other guests.
Finally Calix takes my hand and leads me across the room so we can have our first dance of the night. Everyone clears to the sides of the room, so that the floor is just for us. I keep forgetting I’m dating a Prince. I hate that everyone is staring at us but I try and focus on the moment and enjoy our dance. The music is classical- a waltz. Calix looks entranced and more joyous than I have ever seen him before as we dance. I mirror his expression, I’m beaming. I don’t know how to dance but it doesn’t seem to matter. Calix leads and our steps match perfectly, like we were made for each other. My smile is so wide it feels like my face is going to burst with joy and it looks like my darling prince feels the same. Unexpectedly he leans in and kisses me. An eternal moment captured in just a few beats of the heart. Then, even more unexpectedly the ever depressive audience clap and I’m sure I can see hints of smiles on these living corpse’s faces. I lift my eyes above Calix’s head and see one person who is certainly not smiling-the King. He sports a deadly gaze. Calix seems oblivious to his fathers reaction as he continues smiling at me, looking pleased by the performance.
The dancing is done, the guests gather their coats before heading back to their cars. Calix says he’ll return me and I’m glad it’s the weekend tomorrow as I’m exhausted.
In the Rolls Royce, Calix is still smiling, looking young and carefree.
“Did you enjoy tonight?” he asks kindly.
“It was wonderful Calix, I felt so happy, so alive and I think that’s how you felt too” I tell him
He pauses for a moment.
“Yeah…happy, I guess I was” he says guiltily as if he has just confessed to a crime.
“Calix ,being happy isn’t a bad thing. Please don’t beat yourself up about this” I say but suddenly he looks alarmed, angry even.
“Seren you don’t understand. I can’t be happy. My father…”
And at this point I have to interrupt, this is what this is all about.
“Your father is just a bitter old man Calix. Sorry to be blunt but he’s a jerk, stop allowing him to run your life”.
“Seren” ,he pauses again as if he is contemplating what I have just said.
I’m aware that a tear is rolling down my cheek. Calix’s father makes me feel as if I’m hitting my head against a stone grave. I can tell by the look in the Kings eyes that once he has made his mind up about something, there is no changing it. A stubbornness he will hold as the habit of a lifetime, because of the unwillingness to change .
As we return from the city, Calix takes my hand.
“ Thank you for tonight” I say.
He sees my moist eyes and wipes the tear from my cheek.
“Don’t worry about my Dad, Seren. He’s not the same man since my Mother died. His grief affected the whole city.” He sighs.
“Look, I’ll talk to him. I think he’s just not used to me dating, you know?”
“I’ll see you in college Monday then” I lean and kiss him.
He closes his eyes and his long lashes hide a pained, but poignant expression.
“Monday” he says and its an everlasting promise.
Chapter. Four
The Smiley’s
I spend the weekend thinking about our dance. Its like I have entered a fable, although our romance is more gothic than Sleeping Beauty. I play Mozart’s album as it reminds me of the dancing. But Calix’s Father still gets to me, he doesn’t like me at all.
I see Calix’s diary while waiting for him in the Rolls, on the cover is a word I don’t recognize. He arrives ,full of his usual combination of cockiness and kindness.
“Did you get coffee“? I ask as he opens the door.
“Yeah latte for you, espresso for me baby”
“Hey what does this word mean? Its so long.” He pauses momentarily, deliberating whether to tell me or not.
“Its actually the code word for getting into my fathers secret club. I had to write it down because its obscure and difficult to remember”
“Wait, you need a code word even though you’re a prince“? I gape at him in disbelief.
“Yep” he smirks, agreeing this is ridiculous.
“When is this oh-so-elitist top secret meeting then?”
“Tomorrow actually, will you come with me”?
“Sure, but I really don’t think your father will want me there” I say still burned from his deadly gaze at the ball.
“Don’t worry about Dad. I’ll speak to him tonight. He can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, especially when it come to my friends and girlfriends” he says as if reminiscing on some past event.
“What do you mean?” I ask intrigued.
He sighs.
“Well, he’s very…selective. I suppose he doesn’t really ever think anyone is good enough for me”
“Why do you say that?” I ask.
“Whenever I meet someone and get a little close to them whether it’s a good friend or girlfriend. He starts to get, I don’t know, sort of paranoid, saying these people are no good for me. That they only like me because I’m a prince or whatever”.
“No offence, but the man is nuts if you ask me” I say, not shocked by the extent of the Kings control freak behaviour.
He continues, looking slightly hurt by my opinion
“Well, anyway. He usually tells me to stop seeing people that I like and just continue with my studies, recruitments and socialising with acquaintances he approves of. I honestly think he’s just a little overprotective, especially since mum died”
“What was he like before that then?” I ask trying to appear sympathetic for Calix’s sake. He ponders for a moment.
“More relaxed, less rigid, happier. He’s become like an army officer since her death, all military precision. The city was a very different world when I was younger”.
“Don’t you think that you should talk to him? Perhaps he’s so caught up in trying to be a King that he never actually got the chance to grieve. You cant just let him treat you like a child. You’re an adult now, its your decision who you speak to and befriend, not his.”
“Yeah, you’re right but truly once my father has his mind made up about something, there really is no changing it. He’s the most stubborn man in the world” he says.
Growing frustrated by the topic of Calix’s father, I think of one thing that might work.
“Maybe I can talk to him. Perhaps its because he’s never actually got to know any of your friends that’s the problem.”
Calix looks at me dubiously as if I’m taking on more than I can handle.
“Hmm. Well you could try, although there’s no point in me asking him first. He will just say no. Maybe you should
just turn up on a day he’s not very busy.”
“Okay. What day does he have free?” I ask.
“I suppose Thursday is his quietest day. He golf’s on weekends so no one ever gets to see him then”
“Okay. Thursday it is. Are you still going to ask him about the secret club or shall I speak to him first?”
“No, I’ll ask him about the club, but I’ll probably just say I want to bring a peer along with me, rather than mention that its you!” he smirks at me cheekily.
I gawp in horror
“Why, are you ashamed of me?” He looks offended that I’d ever think such a thing.
“No! But if I tell my dad it was the girl I took to the ball who I want to come, he’ll just say no on the basis that you aren’t a citizen” he shrugs.
“Your Dad is the ultimate elitist”
“I know” he agrees.
“So, college, lunchtime, tomorrow?”
“You bet” and he leans in and kisses me.
As I walk back from our meeting, it starts raining. Even though I’m in a summer dress and getting wet, I do not care. He kissed me. People are staring at me as I walk as if to ask ‘why are you looking so pleased with yourself?”. I do not care. He kissed me. I want to dance on the pavement and I’m practically skipping. People will think I’m crazy but I do not care. He kissed me!
After a night of my heart bursting with ecstasy , I awake eagerly anticipating seeing my beloved today. Just English to get through first.
English was an easy affair today. We listened to an audio version of the play Hamlet. Shakespeare‘s language is so romantic and it helps me replay our kiss over and over in my mind. Calix loves books too. Most guys who I have seen have never been what I’m looking for. Too good looking, too geeky ,too tough, too sporty or just not ‘right.’ Even if Calix had never asked me out, he would still be my ideal man. He’s incredibly handsome with flawless hair and skin, for most girls that would be enough. I can tell by the looks on their faces that it is enough. But I’ve seen other ‘perfect’ movie-star-look-alikes before. None of them wanting me but me not wanting them either. There is another magnetic pull that Calix has. I cant explain it. I feel I’ve known him all my life. No one in the history books ever held such fascination for me. And unbelievably he’s mine.