by Ceri Beynon
“Anita! She is not with me just for her career”.
“Why of course she is darling. Besides there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re going to be a gold-digger ,at least be with a handsome Prince. She chose well” says Anita who speaks with a slight lisp.
“I’m not a gold digger. I don’t care that Calix is a prince. Its enough that he’s lovely, intelligent and beautiful to boot.” I smile and he smiles back at me.
“Whatever Sweetie. Calm down. Let us try and enjoy the game, do”
I’m outraged Anita, winding me up, achieving her aim and then making out as if I was kicking up all of this drama. But I don’t react and ignore her instead.
“A cheerleader aye, young fellow? Your Father wont approve of that. Humph cheer” A stuffy older gentleman with a hat tilted to cover one eye sits at the front, saying this without turning around to face Calix .
“I’m sure he will approve far more than if he knew the truth” Calix whispers in my ear and I giggle at this.
“Seren, try to stay emotionless remember” he whispers.
“It’s dreadful isn’t it Popsy?” says Anita.
“Oh I don’t know, a cheerleader isn’t so bad. She’ll have plenty of stamina to keep up with Calix” says a lady with golden hair.
Its strange that people pay me more attention when I’m blonde and sparkly.
Calix looks annoyed at all the fuss ,like he’d rather just soak up the atmosphere of the game. I don’t blame him. The other two in our box include a prissy girl who seems horrified by the banter going on around her. And then there is the man who’s set me on edge since we’ve been here ,he has dark glasses on and for whatever reason I feel like he’s listening intently to every single word being said, but trying to do so undetected.
“Who’s that ?He gives me the creeps” I say nudging Calix, slanting my head to Mr. Dark Glasses.
“That’s one of Dads secret service commanders. He gets invited to this all the time, one of the perks of his job I guess, although I think he is a big BB fan” he whispers.
Calix and I sit in two reserved V.I.P seats, right at the front of the box. Teenage girls scream “Look Prince Calix!” He smiles out of politeness but like he’s completely used to this attention.
The players all begin to line up on the playing field, which is tarmac with high white goal posts. Its vast ,surely you could fit five cemeteries on it.
The Eternal Blacks line the pitch looking muscular, dignified, heroic, with the man who embodies all these things in the middle, Mr Frederick Forefront. On the opposing tem, opposite the Eternal Blacks are the Purple Predators ,who I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting but look every bit as fierce as the Blacks but with added bulk. The players on this team look heftier, the Captain being double Freddie’s width, though it looks like muscle and not flab. The Captains lock eye contact for a moment and its earth shaking stuff, they both look deathly competitive.
The whistle is blown and the game begins. The black ball is perfectly round and could be a bowling ball, but its made from a softer substance. Rubber? Plastic? I can hear Anita complaining in the background.
“I cannot stand Black Ball, common sport” she says. She’s certainly made an effort dress wise. She’s wearing a black wide brimmed hat, a statement making black feather collar- which is circular going all the way around her neck and down her chest. Her stomach and arms are covered in black circular discs made from PVC, the tamest part of her outfit is her black pencil skirt, although its simplicity only serves to further draw attention to her elaborate top half.
Kick off has began. James passes the ball to Forest, both members of the EB’ s and he kicks it into the goal three minutes into the game. Amazingly the crowd don’t go wild and I’m baffled by this for a while and then I remember where I am. Instead erupts a distant dreary chant ‘Forest, Forest’ because of course Broken city members cannot show any flicker of excitement or joy, let alone the ecstatic roar I was expecting upon Forest scoring. I think I made the most fuss out of the whole crowd, clapping loudly. Anita gave me a very disapproving look but then I am supposed to be a cheerleader. Speaking of which I can see the real cheerleaders waving black pompoms, dancing solemnly as dancers who could never quite perfect a routine. Their eyes look sad, they dance lifelessly although all the while looking beautiful and graceful but not all singing, all dancing as I would have thought them to be. More despair leaders.
The black ball moves around the pitch like the speediest beetle, wanting to escape the pursuit of the players. The match entertains me more than any other sport I’ve watched before. I’ve never been one for sport but I’m thrilled by the game. Maybe it’s the players, they all seem to have a secret that lurks beneath the glossy veneer of professional BlackBall players. And they do, that’s the reason they are members of this city. They must all be in some way, broken. I look at them glimmering in success and find that magnificent. Then I think of Anita, I wonder why she’s here. She looks so polished ,so together and yet she cant be. Its all an illusion, her outfit, her strength. Calix’s watching enthralled, he clearly is a huge BlackBall fan. His profile is perfect, his midnight hair, those piercing eyes that look like they could know your every thought, every secret, the longing of your heart.
Four all.
Both teams have played incredibly, refusing to let the other have the upper hand. But there’s only two minutes left to go. The score board, the true star of the show having the honour of the final bow.
“This is so close Seren, I’m glad you are here to share this moment. Its rare, timed to perfection, flawless” and for the first time in the whole match, he takes his eyes off the game and stares, with the same relentless focus into my eyes just as fascinated as he was with the game. This has to be the most perfect moment of my life, despite the fact I’m dressed as another person. Then he leans in and we kiss, making the match blur into obscurity. I hear the whistle blow and realize the game has ended. We missed the ultimate moment, or did we? I think on reflection, I was part of the ultimate moment.
Looking up at the score board I see the result. Eternal Blacks ‘5’:Purple Predators:4.They did it! Frederick Forefront stretches his arms wide, embracing victory with open arms.
“You two are completely irritating. Your smooching blocked my view during crucial moment” Anita complains behind us.
“Sorry you missed the last goal Calix” I say apologetically but not really caring since I’ll remember our kiss a whole lot longer than a Black Ball major match.
“Don’t be Seren. I was scoring my own goal”. I blush and giggle, becoming more of a cheerleader by the second.
“Seren” I hear the voice of a woman and look behind me, forgetting my faux cheerleader self for the moment.
It’s the Kings secretary. Oh no, she recognized me.
“I knew it was you. Why are you all dressed up like a harlot, dear girl?” she asks puzzled.
“Um…”
“Do you know this girl?” asks Anita clearly annoyed with me.
“Why yes, that’s Seren. The girl Calix has been dating for months and who his father told him to no longer see”.
Oh no. Suddenly I’m aware Mr. Creepy in the back row gets up abruptly, despite the fact the huge moment of the presentation of the cup to Frederick Forefront is happening on the pitch.
I knew he was spying on us.
“Calix I think that your father sent that man to watch us, he will probably report back what he’s seen and heard”.
“Dad always does things like this, he promises me he wont. He never trusts me. But don’t worry Seren, we’ll just use our plan and look broken, then he will have to accept you” I don’t know how he does it but one look at his perfect face is all I need to be thoroughly convinced this master plan of his will work, even though our cheerleader scheme fell flat on its face.
“Better take off the make-up and dress more depressingly though” he adds raising his eyebrows at me.
“Yeah, I don’t think we’ll convin
ce him in this” I concur.
Before I rush off to change into morbid mode, we decide to watch the presentation of the cup to Freddie.
The cup itself is exquisite, black onyx, with a gold plaque reading ‘Eternal Blacks’. Fans in the audience are wearing their Black ‘EB’ scarves and black and silver confetti is raining from above. There is even a giant balloon reading ‘Eternal Blacks, Eternal Champions’ that floats across the sky travelling to a paradise unknown.
Frederick, despite his great win, still looks guarded, as though he doesn’t trust anyone, knowing full well the fickleness of his fans who may adore him one moment and turn their backs on him the next. His team mates line the field, with him at the centre and flash bulbs explode around them.
“That’ll be front page on the Broken Gazette tomorrow I have no doubt” Anita says behind us, as if she thinks them undeserving of their win.
“Front page on all the papers, and some tabloids I’m sure. Young Frederick is exceedingly popular with the girls who read those magazines” says the Kings secretary.
After the presentation along with crowds of others, Calix and I depart from the stadium. He grabs my hand and leads the way. Its dark now.
“Come on Seren, change into you regular clothes and I’ll walk you back” .
I giggle as I’ve never seen Calix this flustered before, he’s normally the very definition of cool composure. I wonder what the hurry is. We run through the city centre, with Calix practically dragging me along all the way. Suddenly I’m aware of several bright lights shining directly on us.
“Stop there” a voice shouts with authority. As I turn I see a group of people, who look like police, all dressed in black uniform.
“Your Royal Highness Prince Calix, we’ve been directed to protect you and rescue you from the unsafe influence of Miss Seren Loneheart. She is no longer allowed within a mile radius of you. The King has passed a new law”.
“What? This is absolutely ridiculous. I love Seren” says Calix.
“She has corrupted your judgment Your Majesty. I’ve been told by the King himself you’d come out with such a line. We must protect you Your Majesty and Miss Loneheart has been found to be unsafe”.
I just stand there is shock. How could the King do this?
“Seren go please, he always does this. I’m sorry” Calix looks sad, so defeated .I feel like his father is destroying him as much as our relationship.
I walk back through the gate of The City of the Broken in a trance like state. My mind is so cluttered with horror it cannot process thoughts. Calix. And yet with this knife in the stomach is accompanied elation.
“I love Seren” his own words. I never even had to drop a hint for him to say this.
But what good is his love when his father prevents him from seeing me? And that shouldn’t be the case, Calix is an adult and a prince. Its entirely up to him if he wants to see me or not. Its as if his father has convinced everyone he’s been brainwashed by me.
‘Corrupting his judgements’. How manipulative and devious that man is.
I go home and sit on my bed remaining in a trance. This is wrong. How can the King get away with this ?These thoughts run through my mind on a loop .I’m so traumatized, I feel numb. I try to sleep but I cant. So this is what it feels like to be an insomniac. Why did I have to fall in love with a man who has a tyrant as a father? He’s effectively caged him in that city and blackened my name. But why does the King not want me near Calix? Why does he think me unsafe? The only way to find out the answer is to meet with the King himself, although this wont be easy. Now that I’m considered ‘unsafe’ if I return to the city those guards will be on my back, even if I don’t go anywhere near Calix. Perhaps I should just be upfront and request a meeting with the King, though I’m certain he will say no, in fact his secretary will simply dismiss the request. I feel so pathetic. There must be something that I can do to change his mind. I still haven’t officially joined The City of the Broken as a citizen yet, before I was just there as a guest of the Prince. Maybe if I did I’d have more access to the king and Calix .Maybe the king would approve of me more.
Since we’re on holiday from college, I have no chance of seeing him that way either. It’s so frustrating. Still unable to sleep from the distress of being banned from seeing my beloved Calix, I decide tomorrow I will resolve this. I’m going to the City of the Broken and demanding to see the King. His secretary has met me before and even though she’ll probably know of the situation, I’m sure I could convince her to at least ask him to think about it. After all he told me to stay away from Calix ,not the city. Maybe I could even ask the King if I can become a citizen, Calix did recruit me in the first place for this very purpose.
Chapter Seven.
Heartbreaker
I walk to the familiar graveyard location of the gate to the City of the Broken. I’m listening to my MP3 player to drown out the silence since Calix is not here with me. I feel lonely, yet still surprisingly zesty with the challenge of facing the king. Its like its given me a whole new rush of adrenaline .I get out my special key and open the gate, closing it behind me and walk through the veil of trees into the city. There’s still a lot of clearing up to do after the BlackBall match. Its quieter now the match is over, but still busy as I’ve come early and many people are on their way to work. I don’t see any overly ambitious gleams in the eyes of men here, simply a repetitive beat of a drum, without passion or love, done for the reason that there is nothing better to do than work whilst in their state of gloomy aimlessness. Usually I feel I stand out for being the least upbeat person. Here I feel I stand out for being too cheerful, too full of optimism. A lot of the citizens look to the ground, directly avoiding eye contact, preferring their own pessimistic little world.
“Umm hi” I say to the young girl who’s sitting on the park bench staring into space. She ignores me, which is odd so I ask again
“Hello, can you hear me?” Perhaps she’s deaf or foreign.
“Oh, you were talking to me, I’m sorry. I spend so much time pretending I don’t exist that I sometimes forget other people think I do. Its always a shock when somebody wants to speak to me. Do they actually think I’m the same, equal to them. Human? I don’t feel it”.
“Of course I think you’re a human, what do you think you are then?”
“Well a lot of the time, invisible, not really alive at all, a shadow maybe, the wind blowing past”
“That’s a bit odd isn’t it? Why do you think that about yourself?”
“Well, I guess it started when I was younger. When I was a child I always thought I was so important. Wow a human being, that means so much, think of who I could be. But then I went to school and realized there are so many others who are more important than me, that was difficult to deal with. At first I fought it. I’ll show them I’m the best, the ultimate but of course life taught me better. So I decided if I couldn’t be important, I’d be nothing at all. Most of the time people don’t treat me much different to that anyway. When you start believing you don’t actually exist and that nobody cares even if you do, it really is strange when people acknowledge you at all. That’s why I ignored you, I thought ‘oh she’s talking to somebody else, she couldn’t possibly be talking to me, why would she want to’ ”.
“Its so sad you think like that”. I’m really at a loss for words, this girl is such a deep thinker, yet she seems so sad and lonely.
“Yes that’s true, its sad. But the only way I can deal with not being important, is to be nothing at all”. She looks downward.
“Well you must be important enough to speak, not everyone has that privilege”.
“I know. Sometimes I think maybe I should stop talking altogether because whenever I do talk, nobody wants to hear what I have to say and that only makes me feel worse than if I had chosen just to be completely silent”.
“I used to date Calix you know. I’ve seen you with him on outings. I know who you are” ,she blurts out abruptly. This shocks me so much.
I’m speaking to a girl Calix used to go out with.
“Well what happened, why did you break up?”
“He asked me to be a citizen because I always felt outcast. I guess I felt I belonged here because everyone was broken. I wasn’t offended when he asked me to join at all. Then his father got involved and he ended it. I was devastated but that only meant I belonged here more than ever. So I stayed ,Calix or not”.
Suddenly looking at this girl, a fragment of her former self, the decaying remains of a personality, I cant help but feel afraid that the same thing would happen to me if the King gets his way.
I take the underground to the palace, feeling as if I’ve entered a tin of dying sardines. I begin to think myself crazy for being so confident that the King will see me. Why should he? Even if you take away the fact that he already has a low opinion of me and that he doesn’t want me anywhere near Calix, surely he gets thousands of requests every week from people, ordinary Broken citizens, who want to speak to him for some reason. Why should I think myself so special?
I walk slowly to the palace, hoping I might bump into Calix in the garden and won’t have to go through with my crazy plan that wont work. But instead, out of the sheer agony of longing to see Calix, I march to the office at the side where they accept all the requests and complaints that go to the palace. There is a formal woman sitting at the desk, dressed in a tweed suit with a frilly blouse. She peers at me through the top of her glasses, intimidating me.
“Hello” I say.
“Yes, how may I help you?” she says gruffly.
“Umm, my name is Seren Loneheart. I’d like to request a meeting with the King”.
“Seren Loneheart, is that what you said?” She raises her eyebrows in surprise and her voice sounds quite close to alarm.
“Yes, that’s correct” I say trying not to be worried by her tone.
“The king did say you might come. He also said that if you did, he’d want you to see him straight away. I’ll phone his secretary right now, one moment please”.