by Sophia Gray
“I love the way you look,” I said, blushing. I’d rarely said the ‘L’ word out loud before, and I knew that I couldn’t tell Cade how I truly felt about him. Even thinking that was just some kind of disaster waiting to happen. After all, didn’t men hate it when women confessed their feelings? Didn’t men always want to be the people in charge of that?
Dating was so confusing.
Luckily, Cade brought my mind right back to the present. He unbuckled his belt and drew it through his belt loops, tossing it on the floor with one hand and unbuttoning his jeans with the other. When they fell to the ground, I gasped. I was never going to get over the sight of him, how beautiful he was without clothes on. He wasn’t wearing underwear, and his veiny, thick cock was rock hard and standing straight up in the air.
“Like what you see?” Cade winked at me and I felt a hot blush rise over my neck and cheeks. Without breaking eye contact, I reached down and unfastened my pants, raising my hips and sliding them down my body. Now, clad only in panties, I reached for Cade’s wrist and pulled him on the bed so that our bodies were in a tangle of limbs. Our mouths met in a frantic, messy kiss and he slipped his tongue between my lips and into my mouth. The sensation threw something within me loose and I felt wild, like I was suddenly exploding, bigger than my body, bigger than the Four Courts Motel.
Cade climbed on top of me and I felt his cock probing between my legs, jabbing at my thighs. As we moved together and I spread my legs, he ground hard against my crotch. The feeling rocketing through my body was incredible, and I groaned loudly as the delicious sensation shot through my body.
“Cade!” I cried out. “Cade, I need you!”
Cade yanked the soaked crotch of my panties to the side and, without warning, plunged inside of me. I was so wet that he slid right in to the hilt and I gasped. Closing my eyes, we stayed like that for a moment. Then, Cade began to pump his hips slowly. His cock slid in and out of my body and I groaned as I felt my lower belly clench with pleasure. Suddenly, the days and hours that we’d spent without each other no longer mattered. I only cared about right now, what was happening with Cade when his cock was plunged into my body. His deep blue eyes stared into my own and I felt more naked than I’d ever felt before.
“Vanessa,” Cade whispered as his thrusts became more desperate, hungrier, needier. “I need you. I need you to belong to me, I need to claim you.” I saw his face change as the fucking became more serious for him.
The sensations shooting through my body were building so fast, but I wanted to come together. He grabbed both of my wrists with one hand and pinned my arms over my head until I was sweating and thrashing against him, desperate for more clit stimulation. Cade grinned. He reached his free arm between our bodies and began to rub my clit with his thumb until I was screaming with pleasure. Finally, I felt my orgasm overtake me in a tidal wave of light and agony. Closing my eyes, I howled loudly as my pussy clamped down over Cade’s massive cock, again and again. Cade cried out and groaned, slamming his body against mine and gushing ropes of cum inside of me.
“I love you,” Cade said. He lay his head on my chest and gazed at me. “And it’s not just because you gave me the best lay of my life.”
I stared at him. “What?”
“I love you,” Cade repeated. “I love you, Vanessa. I don’t want to be without you, I want you in my life all the time.”
Tears began to well in my eyes and I reached up to wipe them away. “What are you saying?” I asked. My voice was shaky and I could barely keep the tears from dripping down my cheeks.
“Do you love me?” Cade pulled out of me and rolled over, propping himself up on his elbows and staring into my eyes. For the first time, I realized how vulnerable he looked, almost like a little boy. “Do you love me, Vanessa?”
“Yes,” I said softly. I swallowed hard. “But what does it matter? We’re too different, Cade. We lead different lives. We live in different worlds.”
Cade stared into my eyes. “Marry me, Vanessa.”
I gasped. “What?”
“I asked you to marry me.” Cade’s face was as intense as ever. “Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.”
I stared at him. “Cade, we can’t get married! Nobody even knows that we’re together.”
“I know it sounds crazy.” Cade slid under the covers of the flimsy bed and pulled the comforter over me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. “It sounds totally insane, and I get that. But if we’re married, things won’t be like they are now. Members of the Bleeding Prophets are allowed to have wives…just not girlfriends. You’d be protected, Vanessa. Nothing bad would happen to you, and all of the guys would be sworn to defend you if anything happened.”
I was still gaping. I couldn’t help it. My chest was filled with a crazy mix of emotions and I still felt like I was going to cry.
“Cade, I don’t know,” I said softly.
Cade kissed me hard. The stubble on his chin scraped against my bare skin and I moaned inadvertently into his mouth. Just kissing him was enough to get my juices flowing again, and I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him as close as I could.
“Vanessa, come on,” Cade said. “Nothing between us would change,” he added. “You’d still finish school, and then we’d see where we wanted to be when you were done with med school.” He tapped his head. “I’ve been trying to work up the courage to talk to you about this for days,” Cade added. “I love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, and I can’t live without you in my life.”
“Okay,” I said softly.
“You’ll do it? You’ll marry me?” Cade’s face stretched into a wide grin. He jumped up and began chattering like an excited little kid. “I don’t have a ring, but I promise that’s gonna change, Vanessa. I have a ton of money saved up, and I promise I’ll get you something really spectacular. And what kind of wedding do you want? A real wedding? Something small? Just the courthouse? Do you want Kimmy there? What about your parents?”
I had to break away from Cade and lay back down in bed. “I don’t know,” I said. I covered my eyes with my hands and tried to think about what was happening. “Cade, this is too fast! I want to be with you, but doesn’t this seem like the wrong way to do it?”
Cade shook his head. “Vanessa, you really don’t get it,” he said. This time, his voice was more solemn and serious than it had been a few seconds ago. “This is a big deal. This is like you joining the club…but you can’t join the club unless they know that you’re in it for the long haul. It’s not like you can just date me and then jump town a few weeks later. All of the guys would think that you were giving secrets to our enemies.”
I stared. “I’d never do that,” I said softly. “But I want to know about the future, Cade. I want to know what our life is going to be life. How can I be a doctor if my husband is dealing drugs? That doesn’t work,” I said slowly, shaking my head. “You have to promise me that things are going to change, that you’re going to try to find yourself in more legitimate business practices.”
“I’ve already thought of that,” Cade replied. I had to admit that his sincerity impressed me. “Pushing pills is how Bleeding Prophets move up their members. Well, I’ve been doing it for years and Rudy knows that I’m serious about the club. He told me that I couldn’t see you anymore because my performance was suffering, but I’ve been doing really well lately.” Cade paused and ran a hand through his messy hair. “And I know you hate me going to those parties, but I had to. I had to find a way to earn money for us, and I had to have Rudy know that I was taking my duties as a Prophet seriously.”
I bit my lip and nodded. “I think I understand,” I said. “But what’s going to happen in the future? What are we going to do then?”
“We’ll work together, and find a lifestyle that works for us,” Cade said softly. He pulled me close and wrapped an arm around me, stroking the shorter ends of my brown hair. “I won’t push drugs, and you’ll have a real career. I’ve a
lways been good as a mechanic, Vanessa. I’m gonna get better than I am now, and then maybe open a garage or something. I always want you to know how important to me you really are.”
This time, the tears began to flow in earnest. When I tried to wipe them away, Cade chuckled and began kissing my face, over and over.
Chapter Twenty-Three
We’d had sex a few more times before I felt ready to get dressed and leave. And after talking it over, I started feeling more comfortable with the idea of marrying Cade. After all, I knew exactly what I wanted from life: Cade and a good medical career. And this was just a way to get one of those things a little earlier than I’d planned. I knew that marrying Cade was crazy, but I was starting to realize that I didn’t care. I loved him, truly, I did, and I wanted to be with him.
And I was over the moon that he felt the same way.
We kissed for a long time before leaving the motel. I’d reluctantly tugged on my skirt and shirt and Cade had dressed as well, looking as sexy as ever.
Then, Cade opened the door and I felt my heart sink in my chest.
Kimmy was standing in the parking lot with a bunch of guys that I vaguely recognized from the party where I’d met Cade. They didn’t look like they were having fun now, though; they looked angry and standoffish, like they were about to get into a fight. I swallowed hard. What the hell do they want with us? As I turned to Cade to ask, I practically saw the answer written on his face.
“Mitchell,” one of the men called roughly. He stepped forward and I shivered. He was older than Cade, and had a scraggly beard and a face wind burned from riding in the summer heat and sun. “What the fuck are you doing with this bitch?”
I cringed at the curse, and Cade stiffened beside me. He stepped forward.
“Rudy, this is my fiancée, Vanessa Bailey,” Cade said. He grabbed my hand and tugged me forward.
Kimmy skipped over. “Vanessa, come with me,” she said. “It’s better not to be around when the men are talking.” She made cow’s eyes at the man with a scraggly beard and suddenly, I understood. I felt like I was going to be sick. Kimmy didn’t give a shit about me, or Cade, or making me cool. She only cared about herself…and she wanted to be with that man, that older man with the ruddy face. She’d fucking followed me! She was the one who’d ratted me out!
“No,” I snapped. I yanked my arm away from her grasp. “And I can’t believe you, Kimmy! I can’t believe you fucking narced on me like that!”
Kimmy gasped. If I hadn’t felt traumatized, I probably would have smiled. She looked like I’d stung her, and when I realized why, I felt a trifle smug. She’d never heard me curse like that before. Kimmy wasn’t even used to hearing me talk like an adult!
“Vanessa, this is for your own good,” she said smugly. “I did this for you. I did this because I didn’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Bullshit,” I sneered. “You did this because you couldn’t stand for me to be happy!”
“Ladies, ladies, calm down,” the other man with the beard said. He stepped forward and I stepped protectively in front of Cade. When the man saw me do that, he growled. “Get out of way.”
“No,” I replied. My voice was steady and even. “I’m not budging. I’m not leaving Cade’s side.”
“How nice for Cade,” the man said.
“Rudy, I can explain.”
“Shut up, Mitchell,” Rudy said. He turned back to me. “Butt out of this, you hear.” Turning back to Cade, I hung on his every word. “Women aren’t allowed in the Prophets, asshole,” he said to Cade. “What the fuck was your plan with this puss anyway?”
“I’d appreciate if you didn’t talk about my wife in such crass terms,” Cade said sharply. “We’re going to get married, and then you’ll have to accept her.”
Rudy shook his head. “That don’t mean shit,” he said suddenly. “You have to choose. Either this bitch, or the Prophets. And no coming back if things don’t work out with Little Miss Perfect,” he added with a nasty smile. I felt my cheeks burn with shame and hatred.
“No,” Cade said. He seemed remarkably calm and I envied his inner strength. “No, Rudy, I ain’t choosing like that. We’re engaged, did you not hear me?”
“That doesn’t matter,” Rudy said. Some of his anger appeared to have disappeared and he seemed calmer, almost bored with the matter. “Because you went behind my back, I’m making you choose. Her or the Prophets. Choose wisely, my friend.”
I looked into Cade’s eyes. There was a world of pain and hurt there, and suddenly I knew that I couldn’t be cause of any of it. I pushed away from him and stepped forward until I was standing right in front of Rudy.
“I’ll leave you alone,” I said to Rudy. “And I’m done with Cade.” I glanced at Kimmy, that blonde bitch, and glared. “And I’m going to find a new apartment. It’ll be like I never even existed. Trust me on this. I need to continue with my studies,” I added with a heavy sigh. Even saying the words out loud was breaking my heart, and part of me wanted to stay silent and let Cade walk away from everything that he’d worked for. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t make him walk away from everything that he’d ever wanted in his entire life. I just couldn’t. It would be cruel—cruel like my parents had been to me, cruel like Kimmy. I couldn’t keep perpetuating the cycle. It had to end.
Rudy eyed me sharply. He looked different all of a sudden, like he was thinking of me in a new light. I almost hoped that the next words out of his mouth would be calling off the whole ultimatum. But instead, he nodded slowly.
“I like your fire, girl,” he said. “Go on. Take him back in the motel.” He glanced down at his watch. “Cade, I’m giving you one hour with this girl. She’s better than you deserve,” he added in a dark voice, and I cringed, knowing that Cade must be in deep trouble. “And don’t defy me again,” he added.
I stood in the parking lot with Cade and watched as Rudy and Kimmy and the other men left, Kimmy riding on the back of one of the motorcycles.
“Why did you do that?” Cade looked into my eyes. His face was tortured and I cringed at the sight. I’d never seen him like this. Cade had always been strong, powerful, confident. I’d never even though of what he looked like as a broken man.
I couldn’t answer. I opened my mouth and no words came out. Pulling Cade close, I kissed him passionately, slipping my tongue into his mouth. At first, he resisted, but after a few seconds he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. The outside world disappeared and I was vaguely aware of Cade pulling me inside of the hotel room and throwing me on the bed.
Nothing mattered anymore. Everything was different, everything had changed. The atmosphere was solemn as we took off our clothes and stared at each other, not blinking, not wavering in our gaze. Cade stepped forward and pulled me close. He was naked, but not hard yet, and he wrapped me in a deep hug. I could feel him smelling my hair and I moaned, knowing that I’d never know happiness so complete again in my life.
As Cade led me back to the bed, I felt a heaviness in my heart. I wanted him so badly. I wanted to be his wife, I wanted to grow old with him until we were grey and wrinkled and decrepit. But I had to give him up. I couldn’t have expected Cade to do anything different if it had been me in the situation. After all, if someone had come to me and asked me to give up my medical career for Cade, I wasn’t sure what the answer would be.
I was barely aware of Cade kissing me and wrapping his limbs around my body. As I pressed against him and felt his warm skin on mine, I sighed softly. Being with him was the only thing that had ever felt natural to me, the only thing I was sure I could keep doing time after time. Even school, even working towards becoming a doctor hadn’t felt as good or as simple as being with Cade. Being with Cade had unleashed a prime surge of want and lust in me, as though I’d suddenly been immune to those feelings for the entire twenty-one years of my life.
And now, I was never going to feel that way again.
My eyes filled with tears as Cade kissed his
way down my pale body. I spread my legs for him, wanting him to know just how desperately I felt about him. As he slid inside of me and slammed his body against mine, I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.
“I’ll never forget you,” I whispered into Cade’s ear as our bodies began to move together in the frantic rhythm of lovemaking. “I could never, ever forget you. I love you so much.”
“And I love you,” Cade whispered back. He nuzzled my face to the side and began to nip and suck at my earlobe. The lust and arousal filling me was almost terrible it was so strong. I wanted to scream and cry and curse at what felt like a betrayal by my own body. How could I want sex at such a desperate time like this? How could I want Cade so badly when I knew that we’d never see each other again?