by Dyan Chick
"So what is it now?" Evangeline's voice broke our gaze, both of us turning to see her framed in the doorway. "Couldn't make it out there on your own? Come to your senses?"
I glared at her. "What the hell, Evangeline? Can't you at least pretend to be polite? Maybe I've had a shitty day, okay? I don't need to deal with you right now."
Brenon looked at Evangeline, then turned to Gia and me. "What happened?"
"Followed her to her aunt's house, then she ended up in the middle of a spat between Tristan and Terra," Gia said.
"Trouble in paradise?" Evangeline said. "We could use that. If Ara's back, we have a shot at this."
"Stop." I held my hand out, cutting off Evangeline. "I'm not officially back. I'm here because I once again, I'm in the middle of something I don't want to be involved in. Before you go any further, you need to spill. No more secrets. You want my help? I need to know what is happening here."
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of movement near the door. Looking over, I noticed that Miles had joined the group. My body tensed. Though he'd seemed to have decided I wasn't a threat, he still scared me.
"Ara's back!" Miles was smiling. He seemed genuinely happy to see me.
"She's not officially back," Evangeline said. "I'm not actually sure why she is here."
"That's not..." I began, but before I could get another word out, a body slammed into me, gold arms squeezing me into a hug.
"Thank gods you're safe, Ara. I've been so worried!" Goldie stepped back and held me at arm's length. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." I looked around at the faces staring at me. I hadn't spent much time with the Circus, yet being here felt like home. Even after finding out that Brenon and Evangeline had ulterior motives for getting me here in the first place, I couldn't deny the fact that for the first time since I left, I felt like something that had been missing had been stuck back in place.
It was obvious that if I was going to survive this, I had to choose a side, but I wasn't sure what the Circus really wanted. I turned to Brenon. "Is it true that you want to stop Terra?"
A hint of a smile played on his lips. "More than anything."
I took a deep breath. "I want in."
"About time," Evangeline said. "At least one of you Sayges has some common sense."
"Hey," Gia said.
"Oh honey, the Sayges hate you more than they hate us," Evangeline said.
"That's true," Gia said.
I looked at Gia for a moment, then looked back at Brenon. Whatever her past was with the Sayges, that was going to have to wait. I was learning that when you had centuries worth of conflict, there was no way I could learn all the drama in one day. "Is there somewhere we can talk?"
"No secrets, right?" Evangeline said.
"Eva, enough." Brenon held up the key he'd once given me. "You left this here."
I took it from him. "Thanks."
Sweeping his arm toward the door, he inclined his head in a slight bow. "After you."
Goldie bounced on her feet, hands clasped together under her chin as if in prayer. She gave me a little nod. Gia lifted her eyebrows, then tilted her head toward the door. The silent encouragement gave me the confidence I needed to walk toward the library, Brenon right behind me. It would be the first time the two of us had been alone since the night I wore that red dress.
Heat rose in my chest as I recalled the pressure of his body against mine in the small room he pulled me into. My lips tingled as if anticipating another kiss. I took a deep breath and steadied myself. I wasn't here to play out romantic fantasies. I was here to find a way to put an end to Terra so I could stop running for my life.
Surprised that I found my way to the library without reminder, I paused in front of the door. Brenon's arm brushed against my back as he moved closer to the door. Hands shaking, I dropped the key.
Brenon picked it up and held it out for me. As I reached for it, our hands touched, sending a shock wave through my arm. My breath hitched and I quickly turned back to the door, hoping he hadn't noticed. I shouldn't be feeling this way, I should be mad at him, right? I was so confused.
Once inside the room, I settled into one of the chairs and Brenon sat in the chair across from me. "I'm glad Gia was able to keep you safe."
"Thank you for looking out for me." I shifted my position on the chair. "Do you really have people watching Ryder?"
"I sent people to watch after him as soon as you arrived to fulfill your original contract. I told you, if you repaid his debt, he would be safe."
"But you tore up the contract," I said.
"I didn't have them keep watch over him because of the contract. They're there because he's important to you and you're important to me." Brenon leaned over, resting his forearms on his knees. "Ara, I know I wasn't honest about why I wanted you to travel with the Circus in the first place, but I never lied about my feelings for you."
A lump rose in my throat and I hugged my knees to my chest. This was harder than I thought it would be. The feelings I had for Brenon had never eased. If anything, seeing him again, finding out what he did for Ryder, intensified things. Which only made it more confusing. How could I trust him?
"We don't have to talk about it right now. Or ever, if you don't want." He leaned back in the chair and ran a hand through his tousled dark hair.
He looked so defeated, part of me wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him. And I wanted to run my hands through that hair. I closed my eyes for a moment. Focus.
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked.
Opening my eyes, I let go of my knees and looked up at him. "I found out that I can open the gates. Like Terra said I could. But it was never about me being from the same Sayge line as the Sayge who cursed you. It's because I'm half-fae and half-sayge." The words felt like they were stuck in my throat. I'd meant to say who my father was, but I couldn't get them out.
Brenon was quiet as he studied my face. "You're not High-Fae, are you? There's a magic to you that I couldn't sense before. Something different."
This was it. The part I didn't want to tell him. Was he going to look at me differently when he found out? I took a deep breath. "Tristan's my father."
Chapter 11
"Did he know?" Brenon asked.
I shook my head. "Terra did. He was pissed to find out she was hiding it. That's what they were fighting about. He helped me get away."
"Well, at least we know you can't break the curse." His smile faded.
"Is that what you want? The others seem to want to stay cursed. Do you?" I leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees. My heartbeat picked up. If he wanted to break the curse, it would have to be with a different girl. Even if I wanted to volunteer, I couldn't.
"Eventually," he said. "But we can't afford to do it while Terra's so strong. We don't know if we'd get all of our magic back, or if we'd have to strengthen it again. If we can't fight her off, she could steal all of our magic and use that to open the gates. It's too risky."
"So we need to find a way to defeat Terra. How?"
"That's always been the question. Evangeline and I had a theory that a strong enough Sayge could help bring her down. Since you were from the same family line that cast the original curse, we hoped there was a way to leverage that." He winced, then looked away from me.
"What if we get help?" I asked.
Brenon looked back up at me, eyebrows raised.
"I spent a day with the Sayges. My aunt seems to be someone of importance for them. And they hate you," I said.
"The Sayges have hated us since the days of the curse. Why would they help us?"
"Because once Terra is gone, I'll help you open the gate. Then the Circus can go home, and the Sayges won't have any Fae left here to hate." A twinge of sadness rang through me at my words. I hated the idea of having to say goodbye to Brenon. But I knew he must want to go home. And it seemed like the only way we might be able to get the help we needed to defeat Terra.
"You'd do that for us?" Brenon reached
a hand out and rested it on my knee.
A chill ran up my spine, and I wondered if I'd ever get used to the feel of his touch. "Of course I would. Just because your friends tried to kill me doesn't mean I wouldn't help them."
"You have no idea how much this will mean to everyone." He stood and offered his hand to me.
Afraid of having another full-body reaction to his touch, I ignored it and stood up without his aid. Even if I was re-evaluating my feelings for Brenon, there was no reason to get attached if he was just going to be leaving my life forever. This needed to feel less personal. Less about Brenon and my feelings for him. "You know this helps me, too. With Terra gone and the Circus gone, I get to go back to normal."
He lowered his hand and nodded. "You're right. We should get started right away. I wouldn't want you to have to stay here longer than necessary."
Brenon walked to the door and left the room, not pausing to wait for me this time. A pang of guilt tugged my heart down to the pit of my stomach. Despite everything, I didn't like seeing Brenon this way, but it was for the best. Neither of us should be getting attached. If I'd learned anything about relationships, it was that they made you do things you might not do in ordinary circumstances. I didn't need him clouding my judgment as we prepared to battle a powerful Fae Queen.
I ran my hands through my hair and tried to make myself believe that I had no more feelings for the cursed Fae Ringmaster. Squaring my shoulders, I walked toward the door. The sooner we could get them back where they belonged, the better.
Gia, Miles, Goldie, and Evangeline were sitting on a faded couch in the back of the car we had arrived in. They rose when we entered the room.
"So?" Evangeline said. "What was such a big deal that it had to be said privately? I couldn't get anything out of Gia."
I looked over at Gia and smiled at her. It was nice to feel like I had somebody in my corner.
"The only thing you need to know is that Ara thinks she can convince the Sayges to help us defeat Terra. Then, there's a possibility that we could open the gates and return home."
The room fell silent. Even Evangeline didn't have a comment.
Gia walked over to me. "Ara, are you sure you'd want to do that for them? You don't know what it might cost you. The magic it would take to open the gates..."
"So we were right?" Evangeline looked at Brenon. "A member of the Sayge bloodline could open the gates?"
"Something like that." Brenon moved closer to me, and his hand brushed against mine. I looked up at him. He was keeping my secret, just like he said he would. I nodded to him.
"So why not just grab a human girl, open the gates and go back home to break the curse? Surely, we'd regain our magic faster in Faerie. If Terra follows, we could deal with her there," Evangeline said.
I shuddered at the thought of them dragging a random human girl to be used as a sacrifice in such a way. Didn't Brenon say something about love? Was it really as simple as sex? The two weren't interchangeable.
"It's not that simple," Brenon said. "Besides, it's too much of a risk to have the gates open while Terra is still around. It leaves all of us vulnerable, especially Ara."
Evangeline marched up to Brenon. "That's what this is all about, isn't it? I thought you wanted to go home. To break the curse. You said you weren't going to let this girl get in the way."
"Enough," Brenon yelled. "This isn't up for negotiation. We will not open that gate until Terra is gone."
"Boss, you know I have your back," Miles said. "But I'm with Evangeline on this one. There's no way we can beat Terra without our magic. If you want to wait on the gate, that's fine, but maybe it's time to end this curse. Can't you just have a lie in with Goldie? It might work, she was human before the curse."
Goldie held her hands up in front of her. "Hold up, there, Miles. I'm not getting in the middle of all this. Plus, I'm not human anymore. You know that."
Miles shrugged. "Still might work. I mean, worth a shot, right?"
"There will be no curse breaking until Terra is gone. If we don't time this right, if she was able to take our magic, all of this is for nothing. We've waited this long to break it. We have to do it the right way, and Ara has offered the first chance at a solution. We might not have magic, but the Sayges do. And if they help us, maybe we have a shot."
"What makes you think they'd help us?" Evangeline had both of her hands on her hips. She didn't seem to think any of this was a good idea. "I mean, they kicked Gia out simply for staying with us for a few years. Why would they help us when they won't even help their own kind?"
"Because they want Ara," Gia said. "She's Kay's niece. They'll want her on their side. If Ara asks them to help, I think she can convince them."
All eyes turned to me. I knew my Aunt Kay had some power within the Sayge community, but I didn't realize it was enough to silence the room and end an argument.
"Kay is your aunt?" Brenon asked.
I nodded.
He smiled. "You might be able to convince them to help."
"This whole time, Kay's from the same line? Why hasn't Terra gone after her?" Evangeline asked.
"She did," Brenon said. "Remember Mina?"
My insides clenched at the mention of my birth mother's name. There was clearly more to the story than I knew and I intended to get all of it from Aunt Kay when I was done running for my life.
"The rest of the Circus isn't going to like this," Miles said.
"You make them like it. It's our shot at going home. And the only way that's going to happen is if Terra is gone. We aren't risking her entering Faerie with the extra magic she's stolen over the years. That's all there is to it."
Brenon walked to the door and opened it. "It's late, the Circus is waking up. None of you will speak of this until we get back from talking with the Sayges."
"You got it, boss," Miles said.
Evangeline crossed her arms over her chest. "You haven't left the Circus for years. Where am I supposed to say you went?"
"Tell them I went to apologize to a friend." He glanced at me, then looked back at Evangeline. "Now out, I'll come find you when we return."
Goldie grabbed hold of me for another hug. "I want details when you get back, okay?"
I hugged her back. "Okay."
She followed Evangeline and Miles out of the room, leaving me with Brenon and Gia.
"Well," Gia said. "Guess we have some Sayges to visit."
Chapter 12
Brenon crossed the room and opened a cabinet on the wall. Inside were bottles and glasses.
"Do you think now is the time for that?" I asked.
He kept his back to me while he poured a drink, then walked over to where Gia and I were standing.
Brenon handed each of us a glass. "It's going to be a long night. And you're still bound by your Sayge habits. The whole sleeping at night thing."
I took the shot glass of orange liquid from him. "Is this the same thing you gave me before?"
He nodded.
Gia tossed back the drink and handed the glass to Brenon. "Your turn, Ara. You're going to want it."
The sweet, orange liquid went down easy, just like it had last time. Without a word, I handed the glass back to Brenon.
He took it from me. "I'd never hurt you, Ara. I know I've broken your trust, but you have to at least believe that."
Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I gave a slight nod. I wasn't ready to resume friendship with him, but I did believe that he'd never hurt me.
After setting the glasses down, Brenon walked to the exterior door. "Gia, can you get us there quickly?"
A smile lit up her whole face. "I still have the bug."
I wasn't sure how Gia's clunky old bug was going to get us back to wherever my Aunt's house was quick. Terra's place was in Denver, and my aunt had to be at least a day's drive away. The thought of a road trip with Brenon and Gia wasn't my idea of a good time. At least I could sit in the back of the car and let Brenon ride shotgun, so I didn't have to be too close to
him.
Brenon slid open an exterior door, and a rush of wind whipped my hair around me. I'd forgotten the train was moving. My eyes watered as cold air assaulted me, and I stood frozen in place. There was no way I was going to jump from a moving train.
"Gia?" Brenon called over the wind.
She nodded, then leaped from the train. My heart seized up with fear, and I looked up at Brenon, wide-eyed.
"I'll help you." He offered a hand to me. "Remember what I said. You know I won't let anything bad happen to you."
Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I set my hand in his. He closed his fingers around my hand and pulled me closer to him. His other arm wrapped around me. We pressed together, and every inch of my skin felt like it was on fire. Cheek to cheek, his lips brushed against my ear. "Hang on tight."
He urged me forward, and I forced myself to move my body in time with his. The wind grew stronger as we stood at the edge of the door. I took a deep breath in and held it as if I was about to plunge into a pool of water instead of jumping from a moving train.
Right as I thought the anticipation would boil over, we were in free-fall. I squeezed my arms around Brenon's waist and buried my face into his chest. A second later, we were standing on solid ground.
I was breathing too quickly as I watched the Circus train continue down the track.
Brenon smoothed the hair away from my face and tucked the loose strands behind my ears. His smile was soft, eyes kind as his fingers lingered too long in my hair.
My breathing had returned to normal from the jump, but now my pulse was racing from his touch. My willpower wasn't going to hold out much longer, and part of me wanted to just succumb to him. To feel his mouth pressed against mine. To run my fingers through his hair.
Beep beep. Brenon dropped his hands, and I spun around to see Gia's bug pulling into the dirt road alongside the tracks. Hadn't we left that at the station in Colorado?
Brenon reached for my hand, and this time, I let him lead me. He opened the passenger door and moved aside for me to enter. I crawled into the back seat and Brenon settled in next to Gia.