I try not to giggle when Hensley starts to dance. He’s moving like all the other Mars humana, and it’s funny because they do this kicky-leg thing that reminds me of 1920’s flapper dancing. I’m not even going to try to fit in. I just put my arms up and move my hips. Hensley doesn’t seem to think I’m too uncool because his grin never wavers. He dances a circle around me, making me laugh.
The more I focus on him, the more I’m able to have fun. He’s just so freaking nice and laid back. The complete opposite of a certain someone else who I’m totally not thinking about.
A slower song comes on and Hensley moves in, taking my waist. Everyone around us starts to grind and make out. Yikes. Hensley is a good bit taller than me, so he has to practically squat to align our hips. The boy can’t be serious. He never stops smiling and I can’t help but laugh as I put my arms around his neck and we rock our bodies side to side.
“I like when you laugh,” he says loudly next to my ear.
I smile up at him, my heart suddenly banging as he pulls back and our faces are close. For the first time his purple eyes get serious and his grin fades into something sexier, like a man who’s about to get down to business. Is that what I want? Oh, shit. I’m suddenly super nervous like a kid at the middle school dance. Plus, I can feel he’s getting a boner.
Before he can make a move, a couple rams into us, knocking us apart.
Hans peers down into my face, then glares at Hensley. “My bad.”
The woman he’s dancing with giggles and takes his shoulders to pull him back to her. He gives me one last warning glance before he’s grinding with her.
Everything inside me somersaults and squeezes. Hensley shrugs at me and laughs it off, running a hand through his hair. I wonder if he realizes Hans totally did that on purpose. The average Earth man would want to fight after a hip check like that, but Hensley moves right back in, pulling me to his hips.
Hans and his partner circle around just enough that the Hornet is able to meet my eye, and he looks pissed. My heart is going crazy and I’m worried he’s going to start something, so I abruptly stop dancing and take Hensley’s hand.
“I think I need another drink.” I pull him from the dance floor and find Sheralyn where we left her, this time talking to a man in glasses. She introduces him as a scientist at the Air and Water plant. Hensley orders us a round of drinks and I suck mine down, relishing the strong burn. When I glance toward the dance floor Hans is gone. A quick scan finds him moving back toward his table, a frown on his face, the woman following closely. And like a beacon, his eyes find me and there’s that anger again. My presence seems to be throwing a major wrench in his night. I should look away, but I don’t. And neither does he. Not even when he throws a comment over his shoulder to the woman. Our eyes remained locked as he starts to move away from her.
Toward me.
Oh, God. I need, like, five more drinks. He looks ready to start a fight. I don’t even want him to get near Hensley again.
“Excuse me,” I say to my group.
I move through the crowd to meet him halfway.
“It’s time for you to leave,” he says.
I pull my neck back to survey him. “Excuse me? I don’t think—”
“I can’t relax with you fucking staring at me.”
“I’m not staring at you!” Okay, maybe I was, but he was too!
“Why are you still here? Did Captain tell you to keep an eye on me?”
“What? No.”
“Then go. Come on, I’ll take you down to find a hover.” He takes me by the wrist and tugs, but I dig my heels in and yank my arm away.
“First of all,” I say. “Do not manhandle me. Second of all, I’m a grown woman and I’ll come and go as I please.”
“When did you become such a bitch?”
“Excuse me? Apparently around the same time you became such an asshole.”
We both cross our arms and glare, and it might be comical if I weren’t so incredibly pissed. I step closer, my jaw clenched. “I’m sorry that you’re going through hell, but don’t take it out on me. I care about you.”
“You barely know me.” His light blue eyes shine under a light that passes, making my chest tighten.
“I know you well enough to care, and to know this is not you.”
“This is me. Shit changes people. And I don’t need your concern.”
“It doesn’t matter if you need or want it. You can push me away and I’m still going to care.”
He raises a large hand to rub his forehead, his face scrunched.
“How much have you had to drink?” I ask.
“I didn’t count, but clearly not enough. And stay away from that guy. He just wants in your pants.”
I scoff. “That guy is nice. And I’m not an idiot. I know what guys want. I can take care of myself.”
“Really? Because it looked like you were about to get laid right on the dance floor.”
“It did not! God, Hans, you’re so fucking dramatic. We were just dancing.”
He narrows his eyes. “Did your parents pay for you to come here?”
“Of course not. I paid.”
“How much?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“You spent every penny you had, didn’t you? To come over here and fuck some skinny Mars man.”
I give his chest a small, angry shove, but he doesn’t budge. “That is not why I came here, you stupid, arrogant, jerk! I came here to—” My voice cracks and I press my lips together.
The grin he gives me is not nice. It’s almost maniacally satisfied.
“Came here to what?”
“Support Reesa,” I blurt.
“Liar.”
I lift my chin. “Well, if you know why I came here then why did you ask? And if you know then you’ll agree it was a huge waste of my time and money.” I’m almost in tears now, swallowing over and over to try and choke down the emotion. Hans lists to one side as he watches me and rights himself, blinking.
“Come on, little Lexon.” There’s an almost imperceptible slur in his voice. “I’ll walk you down.”
I want to keep fighting him, because even our ridiculous verbal banter gives me a sense of hope. Despite the words he says, the fact that he’s giving me his full attention says something. But everything drains out of me now and all I can do is nod. I turn to catch Sheralyn’s eye and I motion that I’m leaving. She nods, looking between me and Hans with curiosity. Then I hesitantly slip my gaze to Hensley, who raises half of his mouth in a “maybe next time” grin. I give a small wave.
Hans grunts next to me and puts a hand on my lower back, leading me away. We climb on the elevator together and immediately tension fills the space between us. We’re alone. In an elevator. Visions of him kissing me hard, pressing me into the wall dance in my head. My chest rises and falls faster and when our eyes meet he clears his throat, crossing his arms and stepping further away. I look away, feeling like an idiot.
I may have six months on Mars, but I only have a few weeks with Hans before he leaves. I need to know if there’s a chance. I fully realize he sees me as the kid sister of his boss. All of the sexual tension between us could be in my head. But I have to know for sure.
“I came to Mars to see you.” My voice is super soft and I hate how timid I sound. I want to take it back and say it with more confidence. More sultriness.
My heart is about to rip right out of my chest when he leans his head back and covers his eyes, groaning. Yep. Groaning. I peer down at my heeled feet, swallowing hard once again, afraid I’ll choke on the emotions. And then I feel the idiotic need to explain, and I can’t stop myself, and with every word I want to die.
“It’s just that I’ve had this super huge crush on you since we met, and—”
“Since you were nine?” he says through his fingers.
“I was sixteen!” I clench my hands into fists.
The elevator slows and Hans shocks me by opening the wall panel and quickly pressing buttons, hal
ting the process. I start to ask what he’s doing when he turns to me, his face grave.
“I need you to get this out of your head. I’m not even trying to be an asshole right now. I’m being serious. I’m not the guy for you. I’m not the guy for anyone. And this upcoming mission?” He’s breathing harder. “It’s my last.”
“What do you mean? You’re retiring?” He stares at me, shaking his head as someone bangs on the elevator door.
“You’re not retiring? Then what do you mean it’s your last?” Is he planning to go AWOL or something?
“I mean I’m not coming back.”
“You’re going to live there?” Wherever “there” is?
“No.”
“But…” I’m not quite computing his meaning, but a sense of dread rises up in me.
He turns and smacks a button, and the doors slide open. Tiko, Trip, and Yhani are standing there, breathing heavier than normal, appearing more menacing than I’ve ever seen them. Did they just run down all those stairs? Why? They’re staring between the two of us, taking stock of my dress, and I realize.
“Nothing happened!” I practically growl.
Hans lets out a dark chuckle at his fellow soldiers. “You really think I’m trying to fuck Cap’s baby sister?” He shakes his head and prowls out of the elevator like a panther begging someone to get near enough so he can sink his teeth into their neck.
The four of them walk me out to the sidewalk where a line of hovers waits, letting people on and whisking them away as more hovers glide up to take their place. Everyone in the vicinity looks toward the four huge soldiers and me. I’m unsettled in countless ways as I climb into a craft and take my seat. I can’t even say bye to the men watching me like mastiff guards. And it’s not until the doors shut on Hans’s gorgeous face that his words seem to settle into my heart and expand, exploding inside of me with terror that makes me cover my mouth.
I’m not coming back.
It’s not that he’s going to quit or stay wherever this next assignment takes him. Oh, my God. He’s turning it into a suicide mission. Hans wants to die.
CHAPTER FIVE
Thank God the apartment was quiet when I got there last night, but I slept with light music playing in my earbuds just in case. Not that I slept much. How could I?
Russ tries to slip out for work like a ghost in the wee hours of the morning, but I catch him at the door.
“Can we talk when you get back?” I ask. “It’s about Hans.”
“What about him?” His voice is low and gravely. “Did he do something?”
“No,” I quickly say, annoyed. “He didn’t do anything. Just make time for me later, ‘kay?”
He eyes me suspiciously but nods and leaves. I lean against the door and close my eyes. That’s how Reesa finds me.
“What happened last night?” she whispers, tying her robe around her waist.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” I say honestly. “Even if Hans was hot for me, he would never, ever go for me because of who I am.”
Reesa sighs but doesn’t deny it. “If there’s one thing I learned about the men during my time with them it’s that they’re loyal to a fault—especially to your brother.”
“You should have told me I didn’t have a chance.”
“I didn’t say it then for the same reason I don’t say it now.” Reesa nudges me. “Anything is possible. Come on and get coffee with me.” Reesa only drinks tea, not coffee like me, but I follow her into the dining area and pull out mugs.
I wait until we’re settled with warm drinks in our hands at the table before I tell her every detail of last night. Her face becomes more and more grim.
“I knew it was bad,” she whispers. “But this is worse than I thought. I wish there was some way to get through to him. Obviously his therapy and medications aren’t working.”
“I’m going to talk to Russ when he gets back.”
Reesa nods, bringing the tea to her lips to blow, her eyes far away.
“What was he like on the ship?” I ask.
A small smile graces her lips. “Always trouble. Always cutting up and laughing and being inappropriate. Pressing the other guys’ buttons.” She sighs and reaches over to put her hand over mine. “We’ll figure something out.”
I nod and take a sip of my coffee, but even with sugar it’s more bitter than usual. Or maybe it’s just me.
Reesa and Sheralyn take me on a tour of the area. Really, between the minimalistic food and the walking everywhere, there is no chance of gaining weight on Mars. Everything is designed to keep people as healthy as possible, mind and body. I marvel at the absolute efficiency of Mars and how every citizen has a job. Every job has an equally important feel to it, like cogs in a machine. Are there differences of opinion? Oh, yes. We overheard a passionate argument at the table beside us at lunch about energy sources and what percentage of taxes should go to which type. I could hardly follow.
We come across a two-story building tucked at the back of a street. Its windows are blacked out.
“It’s the Hush House,” Sheralyn says with a bounce of her eyebrows. In the bottom floor is a shop, and I laugh at the title.
“Sensual Shop of Toys? I’m imagining creepy dolls.”
“Oh, they’ve got dolls, all right.” Sheralyn laughs.
Reesa stares up at it. “This is where Yahni comes.”
“I’ve heard that!” Sher says. “Isn’t he half Keplarian?”
“Yeah.” Rees chews her lip.
We look away when a woman comes out with bright white and black striped hair and black lips with thick eyeliner.
I’ve heard of the Hush Houses. That’s where the super kinky shit goes down.
“Have either of you been in there?” I ask. They both shake their heads.
“I only like pain to a certain degree,” Sheralyn says.
My mind is still stuck on Yahni with the freaky, intense eyes. “Is it true Keplarian dicks are different? That they don’t have balls?”
Sheralyn’s eyes brighten with interest and she looks at Reesa who shrugs.
“I mean, I’ve heard something like that.” Rees clears her throat. “That their testicles are in the base of their penis.”
“I want to see one!” Sheralyn says.
I let out an immature giggle.
Reesa rolls her eyes and keeps walking, so we follow.
When we pass the tiny bank and I say, “Hey, that’s where I’d work if I lived here.” They both giggle and tell me there would be no loan officer job for me because the banks here don’t do loans. If you can’t pay for something, you don’t need it. Period. Seventy-five percent of each person’s income goes to taxes. Seventy-five! And what’s left is used for pleasure. Those with high paying jobs can get frivolous things like Reesa’s mother’s crazy hairstyling home salon, or trips to Earth. But otherwise they have no bills. It’s a freakish utopia.
And while my tour of the Mars town is fascinating, all I can think about is Hans. I wonder how he’s faring today after everything he consumed last night. I will definitely talk to Russ tonight about my concerns. Not to mention telling his men to back off about Hans and me.
We pass a School for Massage and I ask Reesa, “Hey, is that where you learned?”
“Yes!” She smiles and gazes fondly at the door.
“And then where did you work?” I ask her. “Is there a massage building? And where did you cook? A restaurant?” There are so many questions I’ve never thought to ask her about her time on Mars.
A weird expression crosses her face, almost like panic, and she glances quickly at Sheralyn, who eyes her with questionable meaning before turning away. Reesa finally meets my eye and I wonder why the heck they’re both acting weird all of a sudden.
“I made house calls for massage,” Reesa explains. “And I worked at several different places as a chef—restaurants and apartment kitchens.”
Sheralyn makes a small sound of derision from her nose, her face a mask. “Well, I’m off to
work. Time to pleasure the men of Mars. Hope neither of you are too offended by that.” It’s completely snide and I feel my eyebrows come together.
“Sher, don’t be like that,” Rees says. “Of course we’re not offended. Are we, Lanna?”
Reesa’s eyes are hopeful and Sheralyn shakes her head at her.
“I’m not offended at all, Sheralyn,” I say. “I’m not trying to judge anyone.”
“Well.” Sheralyn gives me a tight smile and then practically glares at Reesa. “That’s a relief.”
And with that, Sheralyn leaves us, walking fast, and Reesa won’t meet my eye. She turns us and starts walking in the direction we came.
“What was that all about?” I ask. “Did I say something?”
“No, no. It’s nothing you did. Don’t worry.” She’s speed walking.
I grasp the crook of her arm and bring her to a halt. “Look, that was really uncomfortable. Something obviously happened, and I’m confused. I don’t want to spend my whole time here accidentally offending Mars humana, so I need you to tell me—”
“It’s me.” Reesa shoves her hair behind her ears and closes her eyes. “She’s upset with me. She thinks I’ve changed, and maybe she’s right. I have.”
“I mean, does it bother you now? What she does?”
“No.” She sighs. “I have no problem with the Nevesta system. It works for Mars.”
“Have you told her that?”
“Yes…” She peers down at the ground where she scuffs her pretty shoe against the smooth walkway. I can’t help but feel like she’s hedging but why?
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No!” Her eyes fly up and the smile she gives me is almost desperate. Unsettling.
“Let’s just go.” I start walking and she has to jog to catch up.
“I’m sorry, Lanna.” She grabs my hand when she’s at my side and gives it a squeeze as we walk together. “It’s just so strange being back here. The lifestyle I’m living now is considered unnecessary and silly to Mars humana. Legal monogamy and all that. I’m trying to reconcile both of my worlds together to keep everyone happy, and it’s like this giant clash in my head.”
Out of the Stars (Into the Stars Book 2) Page 4