by T. E. Joshua
The Awakened Reborn had previously agreed to walk with me back to the pond of hope very late into the twilight of the day. I told her I had something very important to tell her. She blindly followed.
“Natalie,” I uttered as we walked alongside the muddy creek, near the pond with swimming turtles and small fish. As always, there was a light mist hovering above the waters.
“Yes, Tristan,” Natalie replied with an unsure voice.
“I want you to know that I will always protect you, even from warriors like myself,” I said calmly. I didn’t want her to be alert of my hidden motivation. The protection could have been taken in many different ways; in this case, I would end her life before she met a horrible end by other demon-eyed killers.
“I know,” Natalie muttered. Judging from her voice, she didn’t believe me. “Something is wrong, isn’t it?” she nervously asked. I balled up my fist as we came upon the stone wall bridge covered with dewy green vines and leaves.
“No, of course not,” I said as I smiled, lying through my teeth.
“You’re not a very good liar, are you?”
“Not yet,” I said morbidly.
The grass was clearer than the pond, not misty like the waters. No one could see us, not even one of my own. I escorted Natalie over to the old pond from the bridge and watched as she looked away from me. She stared into the mist and pondered.
“I know what you’re doing,” she muttered uneasily. I offered no response, just allowed her to continue to speak. “You’re trying to get rid of me, aren’t you?”
“Why do you ask?”
“The Reborn Spirit warned me not to come. But I ignored His warning and disobeyed. I believed you could have changed from being a monster to a normal person.”
“As I said before, I am a killer and I will not change. I can’t change. I thought I could, but Lyonell was right. We are what we are. By killing you I might be able to restore our relationship with the Covenant, and my clan won’t suffer the same fate as the Winddick boy.”
“You don’t have to be like him. Winddick chose his path, and now you can choose yours.”
“Lyonell’s my brother. I wanted to deliver you to safety after what happened today. Dozens of people are dead because of me. From there you would be on your own and our lives would return to normal.”
“What once was is no more,” Natalie said. “Things will never turn back to what they were. Even if you deliver me to a supposedly safe place, you know as well as I do that more of your people will come. The hunt will never end until we both are dead.”
I sighed, breathing quickly as I weighed my options. To live on the run with her would end in misery. To behead her now would give my clan a better chance at being forgiven by the Tribal Council and my father. I should choose the easier way.
“Perhaps you’re right,” I said. “But to answer your question … it’s yes. This is the best decision that either of us can make.” I continued to approach her from the back. If I didn’t behead her then; the best I could do was to allow her to run away and never return to Blackfalls again. She wouldn’t make it far without my assistance.
“But I—” she stuttered.
“You what?” I interjected darkly. I needed to emotionally push her away as fast as possible, before I changed my mind and slay her.
I stood behind her, watching our reflection in the rippling waters of the pond.
“You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?” Natalie inquired sadly.
“You’re smart—but not that smart if you ignored the Reborn Spirit’s order to not come here with me.”
“I knew what you were going to do; however, that wasn’t the reason I came here. I didn’t come to die. I followed you because I believed you had changed, but I guess I was wrong. It was foolish of me to think such radical thoughts,” Natalie said. A tear appeared in the corner of her green right eye.
“You should have listened to him. I don’t want to do this. You’re my friend. I appreciate what you have done for me, but it must end here. Allowing you to live beyond now would mean death for all of us. Killing you would prove our loyalty to the Covenant and my father. I hope you understand.”
“I do understand, but Tristan, we can make this work,” Natalie begged. I expected her to run from me, but the very thought of separating only drew her closer.
“It won’t work. My clan almost died because of me. I should have killed you when I had the chance. I hate myself for not doing it. I am different from you. We shouldn’t even be friends,” I answered. Natalie stood next to me and grabbed my arm. “Part of me wants you to live,” I mumbled. Natalie got even closer and started to weep.
“I know you won’t,” Natalie pleaded in a soft voice.
“Do you want to live?” I asked her in a serious tone.
“There is a town south of here. I have family there. Take me to them.”
“Is that what you want? For me to let you go, go home and pack your bags to escape from Blackfalls and see how far you get?”
“Not without you. I won’t survive long.”
“You’re an Awakened Reborn.”
“It won’t matter if I am alone.”
Without thought, I agreed. I didn’t want to behead her. So in that moment, I allowed her to run away. That way, it wouldn’t be me who had to kill her.
“Then run, Natalie. I won’t ever see you again. If you don’t, then I have to kill you right here and now,” I said vehemently, shoving her away. She stumbled back near the ponds muddy bank, nearly falling into the waters.
“I want to be with you, Tristan Lakota, even if that means risking everything for you. I can help you become a Reborn and awakened, if that’s possible. To fight the red demons to come,” Natalie argued. For a second I wanted to believe her.
“What if I don’t want to? Besides, that is out of the question.”
“God wants you to. The Reborn Spirit has been longing for you to know him, just the way I have come to know him.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. I can’t convert. I have broken the Covenant of my ancestors because I care for you. Others will come, and they will kill us both. You don’t want this life with me! We would always be on the run from assassins and the entire tribe!”
“Then kill me right now!” Natalie demanded. She was dead serious.
I smiled sheepishly. She leaned into me for comfort. I grabbed her by the arms and held her back, the Awakened Reborn girl just didn’t get it.
“Listen to yourself. This isn’t a fantasy story where the characters have a happy ending. Nothing ever goes the way we want it. Take this chance and leave. Please,” I pleaded. My dema began to rise involuntarily. I wanted her away from me just in case I lost control again and unleashed my dark energy.
“No, I would rather die right here and now by your hands,” Natalie said. She wouldn’t stop sobbing. Then my dema began to grow; I tightened my grip on her arms.
“You don’t know what you want. You’re so innocent and pure; I am not,” I muttered grimly.
“I can change you.” Then she corrected herself. “God can change you, if you allow him.”
I snickered; it helped keep my dema under control. “You’re a fool to think that you can change me. I kill people like you.”
“Sorry, but you’re wrong! Lyonell was wrong! He doesn’t see what I see, he doesn’t feel what I feel, and more importantly, he doesn’t know the Reborn God like I do,” Natalie argued. “You’re wrong to believe you’re a hopeless person.”
“If you stay, we both will be hunted down like animals. We won’t stand a chance,” I said warily. “Not to mention James and the others are already at risk. Those warriors who escaped will be back soon with more vicious killers, probably in the single digits.” Natalie started to tear up. Both of us would meet death at a very young age if she stayed. It was a certainty.
> “Then let’s run away together,” Natalie crudely suggested.
“Are you a fool?” I questioned. “No, I won’t let that happen,” I said through my teeth.
“Why are you trying to stop us from being friends?”
I looked her directly in the eye. Honestly, I was scared, fearful of the possibilities.
“Is it not enough to live in this moment with me? Is it not enough to value the time we spent together?” I asked.
“No,” Natalie answered and smiled. “Only for now.”
Without warning, I charged her and held the Awakened Reborn against a large oak tree. If she wouldn’t willingly leave me alone, then I would have to force her. I had to instill fear into her pure heart.
“What? What are you doing, Tris?” Natalie asked. I began to squeeze her neck as she gasped for the air. “I warned you to leave … but you didn’t listen,” I snarled impatiently. My eyes shifted—the first pillar. I felt my dema rise. I couldn’t kill her on my own accord. My feelings for her would stop me. The demon within had to partake.
“No!” Natalie stubbornly declared.
“Natalie, I beg of you. Go before I do something I’ll regret,” I warned tonelessly.
“Okay,” Natalie silently agreed.
I released her from my deathly hold. “Now go, before I awaken!” I ordered.
Desperate, I turned my back on Natalie, hoping she would vanish from my presence. I withdrew my dragger just in case she decided to fight my demand. I could honestly say that I loved her, but I knew we shouldn’t be together. It was a guarantee; death awaited the both of us if we didn’t separate.
“I can’t kill her,” I muttered very lowly. “It’s Natalie.”
The sounds of the waters flowed like a small waterfall, smooth but peaceful. I was now calm, at ease with my decision. Killers of the Reborn faith weren’t supposed to feel love for their prey. It was unnatural.
Then the sound of footsteps trampled from behind me. The vibrations lingered as I proposed to face the Awakened Reborn girl. “Why are you still here?”
She stood next to the mist hovering above the pond. Without a worry in the world, she smiled and beckoned me. The wonder of her beauty was angelic.
Then I realized that from that moment on, Natalie Grace Schultz wasn’t going anywhere without me.
“I told you before, I am not leaving you.”
“Then you will die young,” I hissed and appeared before her. I placed my dragger on top of her chest. The additional force from the rusty blade would have pierced her chest bones and possibly through her heart. Surprisingly, Natalie didn’t move. She wasn’t afraid of me or my dema, more importantly, she wasn’t afraid to die by my hand. Even with 30 percent of my dema surfacing, the Awakened Reborn was immoveable.
“Do it!” Natalie ordered, challenging my will to kill her. “If I can’t be your friend, then kill me. If I have to die, then I want you to do it. With my death, at least I’ll know you’ll live.”
She called my bluff. I couldn’t kill her! I just couldn’t!
A few seconds passed as we got lost in each other’s eyes—one pair demonic, the second angelic.
“Are you going to kill me or not?” she questioned.
I pushed her down on the ground as I began to tear up. I had never cried, not once. But my emotions overwhelmed me. I knew I had to kill my beloved. It was the only way. But as usual my feelings ruled me.
“Why won’t you leave me alone?” I asked out of rage. The cold evening air ran down my face. The blade acted as a barrier between the two of us—good and bad, light and darkness, life and death. Natalie didn’t say anything in return.
“Why … why do you love?” I whispered. Still, the blade pressed near her heart. Any sudden movement could have meant a fatal wound. She didn’t care, as long as she died by my hand.
Natalie Schultz muttered, “What else is there?”
I withdrew my rusty dragger and pondered. Why did she refuse to believe in anything else but the element of love? It was a mystery that I would never begin to understand.
I backed away. Natalie stood up, brushing off the dirt off my pant legs.
“Am I worth losing everything for?” I asked.
“I don’t know yet, but I’m willing to find out,” Natalie answered sharply. She wasn’t leaving me. I knew she wouldn’t, but I wished she would. It would be easier on all of us, but apparently befriending an Awakened Reborn wasn’t easy if you were sent to kill one.
“Nat,” I said as my fingers touched her cherry lips and crossed her mouth.
“Yes.”
“You’re stupid for staying with me.”
“It is what girls do when they’re in love with one of their friends,” Natalie confessed.
“Don’t love me. I am evil. I’m not what you’re looking for,” I muttered shamefully.
“You’re my dark angel whom I have been assigned to help guide to the light.”
“I have forsaken the Covenant.”
“Then let the two of us forge a new covenant between us. I will show you the way.”
“Form a new covenant with a Reborn?”
“Yeah, it’ll be our covenant. A promise to always care for one another,” she said.
“Death is just around the corner. Are you willing to go all the way?”
Natalie snickered and answered, “Death never scares me. It’s just the next stage of life.”
If anyone could change me, it was her. I honestly wished I could say that this was a happy ending; if I did, I would be lying. Happy endings were a myth to please the audience.
“Then I won’t kill you. Come with me.”
“If I do, then what becomes of us?” Natalie asked.
I gazed into her ocean-blue and green eyes. The fragrance of the Reborn Spirit danced around us as I muttered, “Let your god decide. He always decides.”
She leaned inward and closed her eyes. Instinctively, I followed, and we kissed. The moment was just right.
The light mixed with the dark, the dark with the light, creating a new covenant of young spiritual bond between an angel … and a demon.
Natalie Grace Schultz wouldn’t let go of me, but a part of me wanted her to. Who would have thought that I, a devious killer, would befriend the one I was supposed to murder? She surrendered herself completely to me and refused to give in to my demand. I knew what she wanted. It was me, and in that moment we were infinite.