The clerk slipped the dress into a plastic garment bag, emblazoned with the store logo, and handed it to him. “Thank you for shopping with us.”
“Thank you.” He turned to Kendra. “Y’all have fun.”
The bell jangled as he exited, and Kendra started breathing again.
“I think I’ll try this on; then we’ll have lunch.” Heather headed to the dressing room.
Kendra followed. She slipped out of the bridesmaid’s dress and tugged on her own clothes.
“So what is going on with you and Stetson?” Heather spoke from the stall beside her. “Y’all sure seem like more than friends.”
Kendra smoothed her hair into place and stared at her reflection in the mirror. “I thought we could be, and I wanted to be, but it didn’t work out.”
“Why not?”
“We’re too different.” Too much baggage to overcome. Too many men for him to forget.
“You seem very compatible to me, and I think he’d like to be more than friends, too. You were both raised on a farm, and Dalton said Stetson lost his dad at a young age. If you don’t mind me asking—what differences?”
“He’s been a Christian forever, and I’ve been blind forever, until recently.”
“So you’re both on the same page now. He could barely take his eyes off you in that dress. If you ask me, I think he bought his mom that dress to wear at his wedding—with you.”
“Don’t hold your breath on that one.” But it was an absolutely lovely dream. A dream that would never be.
❧
Stetson hurried to his truck. Seeing Kendra in that dress had addled his brain. The rich blue color had done something to her eyes. She’d looked like a princess standing there.
Surrounded by wedding dresses, he’d envisioned her walking down the aisle wearing white satin. To meet him.
But the picture was all wrong. It couldn’t be Kendra. God had someone else for him. Someone who’d waited only for him.
He climbed in his truck and started the engine. At a break in the steady stream of traffic, he eased in between a minivan and a compact.
Yet he’d promised to take her to Dalton’s wedding. And he’d stick to his promise. Even if it killed him to watch her walk down the aisle in that blue dress.
❧
For the first time in a while, Kendra took the seat beside Stetson during the lull between class and church. And his heart sped.
Maybe he could have feelings for her without it messing with his head. She’d been a help with his youth group at Six Flags, at the soup kitchen, and while working on the float.
And if Wyatt kept his word, tensions would ease at the rodeo. Kendra wasn’t like Erin. Her walk with Christ was real. She’d never two-time him.
He was free to care about her, fulfill his commitment to the youth, and be a good bullfighter. If they could just not run into men from her past, things might work out.
“We need to talk about when we’re leaving for Dalton’s wedding.”
“We?” Her left eyebrow rose.
fifteen
“Your brother’s wedding.” Stetson frowned. “It’s coming up quick.”
“Yes.”
“Dalton’s counting on you being there. You obviously agreed to be a bridesmaid.”
“Yes.”
“I committed to taking you, so we need to plan the trip pretty soon.”
Gabby and Adam filed into the pew.
“You don’t have to take me.” Kendra lowered her voice. “I think Dalton just said that because he was afraid I wouldn’t show. But I’m going. Heather and I shopped till we dropped the other day. We’re set.”
“No sense in you making a four-hour trip alone.”
Rayna and Clay filed in on their other side.
“You don’t know what you’re stepping into. I haven’t been home in a long time, and when I left, it wasn’t pretty. I honestly don’t know how my father will react to my return.”
“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to have you home, as any parent would be.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
“All the more reason you could use a friend along on the trip.”
❧
The headlights of passing cars reflected on the interstate signs. Kendra could only make out Stetson’s profile in the dash lights. “If you get tired, we can stop. Or I can drive for a while.”
“I’m fine.” Stetson sipped his coffee.
“You’re sure this is what you want to do for Thanksgiving? You could be with your family instead of on the road.”
“I’m fine.”
“I booked us rooms in Quanah for the night. I need a full night’s rest before I face my father.”
“I always thought the preacher’s family had it made.”
Her laugh came out bitter. “Hardly. Talk about pressure.”
“To be the perfect kid?”
“My brother met the challenge. All I did was disappoint.”
“You probably made a mountain out of mole hills. Most kids do.”
“I couldn’t stay on key long enough to be in the church choir. I won a rock-throwing contest, but I busted the church window in the process. And I skipped Sunday school class to meet the cool kids around the block.”
“So you had pressure from your dad to be the perfect little preacher’s daughter and pressure from your peers to be cool. And let me guess, church wasn’t cool with your classmates.”
The dark truck cab gave her courage. Stetson couldn’t see her. Like a confession booth.
“It only snowballed after my mom died. I got mad at God for giving her cancer. I got mad at God for not curing her. I got mad at God for letting her die. I decided it was too much trouble to try to please God, and it hadn’t done me any good anyway, so why bother.”
His fingers threaded through hers. “Sounds like one confused, hurting little girl.”
“With all my rebellion, I only ended up hurting myself.”
“I think your father will be proud to see how you turned out. I know he’ll be happy to hear you got saved.”
“Maybe.”
“Sure you were rebellious, but none of that seems like a big deal.”
“I’ve only touched the tip of the mountain in this confession. I drank and dabbled with marijuana.”
Stetson was quiet.
“Did you?”
He didn’t answer.
“Of course not. I don’t know why I asked.”
“I think the important thing is—you don’t do those things now. Your dad will see the change in you.”
“Even if he does, he’ll never forget the night I left.”
“We’ve got nothing but miles of interstate ahead. Wanna talk about it?”
Even with the dimly lit cab, she couldn’t look at him.
She turned toward the passenger window. “A few weeks after my high school graduation, my dad came into my bedroom.”
❧
Stetson’s stomach turned. He’d heard horror stories of dads going into bedrooms. Unholy images chased through his brain. It made it worse that Kendra’s dad was a preacher. She must have fought her father off and twisted it in her mind that she’d disappointed him.
“I’m so sorry.” He squeezed her hand. “Did you tell anyone?”
“Tell anyone what?” Confusion echoed in her tone.
“About your dad in your bedroom? The police? A counselor at school?”
“No. Not like that.” Disgust replaced her confusion. “He came to my room because he thought he heard an intruder. He was just checking on me.”
Stetson blew out the breath he’d been holding. “I’m sorry—I thought—so how did you disappoint him?”
“I wasn’t alone.”
“The intruder was in your room?” A host of new unholy images consumed him, and fire coursed through is veins. She’d only been a child.
“There was no intruder. Just my boyfriend. And it wasn’t”—she sucked in a deep breath—“an innocent situation Daddy walked in on.�
�
“Oh.” It was all he could manage. His single syllable echoed with more disappointment than she’d probably ever heard in her father’s tone. He didn’t let go of her hand, but his grip went cold.
“Dad told me to get out, so I did—the next day while he was cutting hay on the back forty. I haven’t been back since.”
Silence ruled in the dark truck cab. He wanted to tell her it was okay. But it wasn’t.
She pulled her hand away from his.
❧
Kendra stepped inside her hotel room and checked the clock on the night table: 10:13 p.m. in Quanah, Texas. Clean and neat. No cigarette smell, no wear on the carpet. Functional furniture with coordinating draperies and bedding in shades of rust, gold, and sage.
She fell across the king-size bed, facedown. She’d told Stetson too much, and he’d rejected her. Now she had to spend two days with him.
If only she could go back, take back her words. But if anything serious could ever develop between them, she needed to be truthful. No secrets that could rise up and bite her later. Share her deepest darkest moments.
She pushed up from the bed and slid off her tennis shoes.
Obviously he couldn’t take her deepest darkest secrets. What had she been thinking? It was obvious from the start: there could be no future for her with Stetson-Do-Right. She’d known that, but her heart had betrayed her and fallen for him. Her heart had harbored hope, only to be dashed into tiny pieces.
Now she had to close her heart to him, while she spent two days with him. And face her father. She trudged to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help her relax.
A knock sounded at her door. Room service this late?
She peered through the peephole. Stetson.
Blowing out a big breath, she undid the lock, and swung the door open.
“Just wanted to check on you. Everything okay in here?” He didn’t quite look at her but over her shoulder, scanning the room.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“No madmen lurking in the bathroom or anything?”
“You watch too many shoot ’em up movies.”
“Probably. My room’s right next door—225. All you have to do is call if you need me.”
She needed him all right. But he obviously didn’t need her.
“Look.” He focused on her. “I know you’re nervous about tomorrow—seeing your dad again. But I really think he’ll be glad to have you home.”
“My arrival will be quite a shock.”
His jaw clenched. “Dalton didn’t tell him you’re coming?”
“I asked him not to. Dad doesn’t even know we’ve been in contact.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want him to have a chance to get used to the idea of seeing me again.” She leaned against the door frame. The pressure felt good on her temple, where a slight throb was beginning. “I want to get his honest, gut-level reaction.”
“You’re sure that’s how you wanna play this?”
She nodded. “I don’t want him to put on a show. I want to know how he really feels.”
“Okay. If it doesn’t go well, we’ll go with plan B—stay here so you can have some breathing room, and hightail it outta here as soon as Dalton’s wedding is over. But I’m not comfortable with you paying for my room.”
“It’s the least I could do. I really appreciate you coming.” She closed her eyes. “I’m not sure if I could face this alone.”
His knuckles grazed her cheek, sending a shiver through her. “You don’t have to. Get some rest but call if you need to talk.”
He turned away, and she shut the door. He obviously cared about her. But not the way she wanted him to. Stetson-Do-Right was only being a friend. And that was all he had to offer her.
❧
Stetson sank onto the king-size bed. He’d wanted to hold her. Comfort her and kiss her. But how many other men had kissed her? Held her? Loved her in the biblical sense of the word? His stomach twisted.
He wanted to get beyond her past. But try as he might, he couldn’t. Judgmental—that’s what he was being. It was up to God to judge her, and in His sight, she came out worthy. Why couldn’t Stetson find her worthy?
He kicked his boots off and lay back to stare at the ceiling.
She went against everything he’d ever dreamed of in the woman he’d fall for. He’d planned it all out. The perfect, pure, pristine preacher’s daughter. A bitter laugh boiled up in his throat.
He had to build a wall around his heart where she was concerned. Not let her in any deeper than she already was. He’d see her through this wedding, but after they got back home, he had to avoid her.
The blue digital numbers on the clock mocked him. He’d never get to sleep tonight.
The publicity campaign wasn’t over. When they got home, she’d take countless photos of him. She’d definitely be in his physical space. He had to push her away. Emotionally, he had to let her go.
The perfect woman who fit his plan was waiting for him. Out there somewhere. He just had to see past Kendra to find her.
❧
Kendra held her breath as Stetson turned in to her father’s gravel drive.
He squeezed her hand. Though deafening silence had filled the cab for most of the eleven-mile drive, he’d held her hand for most of the trip.
In friend mode.
The house hadn’t changed much. White with forest-green trim and shutters. Fresh, clean, and neat. Hayfields on both sides. The old barn in back had a new roof and fresh red paint. A few black cows with calves grazed in the lot.
Two trucks and three cars were parked in the drive. The annual Thanksgiving gathering. She’d missed that. Oh, to see Aunt Darcy, Uncle Howard, and her cousins. One of the vehicles was likely theirs. But if her father didn’t react well, she’d never even get a glimpse of them.
Stetson parked behind a white pickup, killed the engine, and squeezed her hand. “I’ll wait here.”
“No.” The word rippled with panic. “You have to come with me.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
She sucked in several deep breaths. “But if he tells me to get lost, I might need help walking back to your truck.”
“I’ll be beside you either way.” He got out of the truck and came around to open her door.
She climbed down. Her hand sought his. He didn’t let go as they walked to the house.
The door swung open.
A graying version of the man she once called Daddy stood there. Speechless, his mouth hung open.
sixteen
Over her father’s shoulder, Kendra caught a glimpse of Dalton. There for backup.
“Kendra.” Her name came out in a croak. Her father took a step toward her then ran down the porch steps and stood in front of her.
Stetson dropped her hand. Alone, she faced the man she’d always disappointed. The man she’d most wanted to please.
His arms came around her. Sobbing, he held her. “Welcome home.”
Her tears soaked his shoulder.
“Kendra. My stars, it’s Kendra.” Aunt Darcy joined the hug.
More arms came around her, and soon she was in the middle of a family huddle with her aunt, uncle, brother, and long-lost cousins.
Home. Finally she was home. And she was welcome here.
❧
Kendra took a long drink of sweet tea. The living room was almost the same, updated furniture arranged just as the old pieces had been. Dad sat in a new recliner, facing her.
The moment of reckoning would come soon.
Dalton and Stetson had headed to the barn with her male cousins while Aunt Darcy, Heather, and the female cousins put the finishing touches on the meal. Heavenly smells of turkey and dressing permeated the house. It had been eons since Kendra had enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving meal, home-cooked instead of from a restaurant.
“That last night you were here—”
“I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
“Wha
t?”
“I mean—I meant it. But not toward you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“When I said, ‘Get out,’ I didn’t mean you. Just that rotten scoundrel Williams boy. Not you.”
Her mouth went dry. Kendra stood and paced the room. “I could have stayed?”
“Of course, you’re my daughter. I would’ve laid down the law with you, but I never wanted you to leave.”
She clutched a hand over her mouth, trying not to let the sob escape.
“I was angry with you, of course. But I’d have never kicked you out.”
Angry and disappointed. But still her father. “All these years, I could have had my family. But I threw it away. Over a misunderstanding.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now.” He met her midstride with a hug.
“I’m sorry I disappointed you. I was angry with. . .”
“God. I knew that.”
“I’m not anymore.” She pulled away to look at him. “A few months ago, I became a Christian.”
He closed his eyes. “Oh, Kendra, you don’t know how happy that makes me.”
Finally she’d pleased him for a change.
“I should have come after you years ago.”
“If you didn’t mean for me to leave”—her voice cracked—“why didn’t you?”
He took a deep breath. “Your Aunt Darcy ran away when she was eighteen. Dad went after her and dragged her home. And she left again. The second time, he couldn’t find her, and we didn’t know where she was until your mom died. That’s when Darcy finally came home.”
“So you thought if you left me alone, I’d come back sooner?”
“I hoped.” He nodded. “Who’s the young man? Dalton whisked him away so quick, I never got a chance to meet him.”
“Stetson is a friend. A Christian. My church’s youth director. He didn’t think I should make this trip alone, so he insisted on driving me here. We stayed in Quanah last night. In separate rooms.”
“We’ll have none of that. You’ll be staying here, and Stetson can have Dalton’s old room. He must care an awful lot about you.”
“He’s a good man, Daddy. He reminds me of you.”
All I’ve done is disappoint him, too.
❧
Stetson watched Kendra approach the barn. With her thumbs hooked through the belt loops of her jeans, she strode confidently. Red-rimmed, puffy eyes, but her smile told the tale. The private talk with her father had obviously gone well.
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