“Of course,” she said in as crisp a tone as possible. “I promise that I won’t visit here without someone else knowing, and when I do, I’ll be cautious to not reinjure myself.”
Ryan nodded once, sharply, and in tandem, they started down the path. It took every bit of willpower not to turn around and stare at the magical, mystical scene one last time before they rounded the bend. There wasn’t any need. She would be back. Soon, if she had her way.
By the time they emerged onto the street, she could almost believe she really had visited another world. A world where everything and anything was possible, just as Ryan had alluded. Driving in a car by herself? Yes. Sleeping through the night? Yes. Letting go of the past? Yes. Feeling safe and comfortable in her own skin? Oh, hell, yes.
Likely, that was what he had meant. Precisely that and nothing more, nothing to do with the chemistry that sparked whenever they were together, the chemistry she was almost positive that he felt, as well. If all went well, by September she’d have returned to Rhode Island to her job at the hospital, and she would probably never see or hear from Ryan Bradshaw again.
But okay, if she were to someday fall in love? The head-over-heels, forever, no-holds-barred, full-blown-partnership type of love? She’d choose a man who shared the same qualities as Ryan: compassionate, kind, intelligent, sexy and strong and...a man who could make her smile. Bring her to laughter. A man with eyes that seemed to see straight through her skull and know exactly the person she was, even though she kept most of herself hidden.
Yes. If she were to fall in love, she’d want—no, demand—a man exactly like Ryan.
Chapter Four
Music. Amusement rides. Carnival games. Food, from corn dogs to pizza to salt-and-vinegar French fries to shrimp-fried rice and egg rolls. Alcoholic and nonalcoholic beverages. Booths filled with a variety of wares, some handcrafted and others not. There were pie-eating contests, water-balloon fights, three-legged races, tug-of-war games, movies at twilight and a variety of other activities scheduled for the next two days and nights.
The annual Steamboat Springs Summerfest was in its full, glorious swing, and the weather had cooperated nicely with mild temperatures and clear, sunny skies. Residents and tourists alike were enjoying everything the festival had to offer: the sights, sounds, appetizing scents and the company of whomever they’d brought with them.
Everywhere the eye could see were people—couples, families, clusters of friends—laughing, smiling, talking with their neighbors and strangers. And this, right here, was one of the reasons Ryan loved living in Steamboat Springs so damn much. The greater percentage of folks were kind and sociable, happy to be a part of an actual community.
And it was why he knew—beyond the fact that the rest of the family lived here—that his sister would love making her home in Steamboat Springs, as well. She was a people person. Always had been. Well, to a certain extent. She wasn’t that fond of sharing her inner self, thoughts, feelings or worries with others, much like another woman he knew. But she was always there for those who needed her. Nicole was a giver, through and through.
“What do you think so far?” he asked his sister, who was in town to celebrate their mother’s birthday. And who—thank God—looked happy and healthy. Settled, too, with herself. “Lots of kids here you might teach one day.”
Nicole tucked a strand of honey-blond hair behind her ear and smiled. “This is terrific. Feels like an old-fashioned county fair, an arts-and-crafts festival and a music jamboree all rolled into one. And...maybe I’ll teach some of these kids someday, but that could take a while. As could moving here. Unless I want to change careers, which I really don’t. I love what I do.”
In Denver, his sister worked as an elementary school music teacher. A position that was rather scarce to begin with, as most schools only kept one or, at most, two on staff. With budget cuts, a lot of schools were eliminating the position. And in a smaller community such as Steamboat Springs, there were far fewer grade schools that could possibly have an opening than in Denver. In addition, the teachers here tended to stick until they retired.
“You could teach privately,” Ryan said, following Nicole as she pushed her way through the crowd toward an artist who was drawing caricatures. “Stay with me or Mom and Dad while you get everything going. Or until something else came through. That’s always an option.”
“For one, I don’t see you allowing Roscoe to roam around your perfect house,” she said, speaking of her large—very large—dog of unknown origins. Ryan cringed at the thought of Roscoe and his perpetually muddy paws but kept his mouth shut. “Furthermore, I need health coverage. Good health coverage. You know that.”
“There are options there, too.” But, okay, not great ones. “Whatever you need, you know we’ll support you the best we can. That’s what we do, Nic.”
“Yup. I know.” She grabbed his hand and tugged hard. “Let’s get a caricature of us drawn for Mom, as part of her birthday gift. She’ll love it. We’ll even get it framed.”
Ryan chuckled. “Yeah, she would love it. Okay, I’m game.”
There were already several people ahead of them in line, so they took their place and continued to chat. As they did, Ryan continued to watch the crowd, looking for a certain auburn-haired beauty. Oh, he had no real reason to believe Andrea would be here today, as she certainly hadn’t said anything about the festival this past week. But he doubted her family would skip this event, and if any of them were here...then yes, it made perfect sense that they’d bring Andi along.
“Who are you looking for?” his too-astute sister asked, humor lighting her tone. “And don’t tell me no one, because you’ve barely paid attention to my last three comments.”
Drawing his sister in close for a quick hug, he said, “No one really. Mostly just people watching, seeing if I recognize anyone I can introduce you to. Mom’s getting antsy for grandbabies, you know. Figured since you’re the oldest, you’re up to bat first.”
Nicole wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, let me get right on that,” she said in a teasing manner that sounded hollow to Ryan’s ears. “I know. I’ll just dial one-eight-hundred-baby. Mom will be a grandma in no time. Should I order a boy or a girl? Or maybe twins?”
“If you’re considering twins, why not triplets?” he said in dry humor. He winked at his sister, playing along, but he didn’t miss the glimmer of sadness in her gaze. Something brewed there just below the surface. Now wasn’t the time for a deep conversation. He’d ask her later when they had privacy. “I mean, hey, if you give Mom three grandbabies all at once, I’m forever off the hook. So yeah, that would be great. Thanks! You’re the best sister!”
“Uh-huh. She’ll never let you off that particular hook.”
They moved up in line by one, and for the moment his thoughts were fully on Nicole. On what might have her concerned or, hell, scared. “You’re still healthy, right?” he asked, unable to silence the query but knowing that if she hesitated the slightest amount in her response, they’d be in the car and on their way to his house in a New York minute. “Nothing has changed there?”
“Nothing has changed there,” she confirmed instantly, squeezing his hand. “One hundred percent healthy. I promise, Ry-Ry. I’d have already told you if that status quo had changed. I’m cancer free.”
Relief, swift and complete, settled in and took hold. So much relief he didn’t even balk at the nickname she’d insisted on calling him since he was a baby. “Okay. Good.”
“And,” she said softly, doggedly, “I still want to know who you were looking for. Just give me a name. No details necessary, and I won’t ask any other questions. Just a name.”
“Persistent today, I see.”
“Always. Is there any other way?”
“No,” he said with a smile. “Not for us, there isn’t.”
“Okay then. So...?”
“Andrea.” He didn’t mind giving in. In fact, saying her name came as another type of relief. “But she goes by Andi. I don’t know if she’s here, but that’s who I was looking for.”
“If you tell me what she looks like, I can keep an eye out, too. Point out possibilities as I see them,” Nicole said easily, without so much as a whiff of curiosity. “Andi, huh? Good name.”
“Yup. And...nope. Nice try, though.”
Sniffing, his sister shrugged. “Well, I’ll meet her if she’s here. You can’t not introduce us without appearing rude. And if there is one trait you absolutely don’t have, it’s rudeness.”
He was about to respond when, out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed fire. Andi. Her hair, in the sunlight, really did hold the deepest, most magnificent, hottest shade of fire. Gorgeous was what it was, especially when combined with her fair—almost alabaster, but warmer—complexion. Her cousin Haley was energetically talking and gesturing beside her, while Haley’s husband, Gavin, trailed behind with a somewhat bemused expression. And Andi?
Even from where he stood, he could see she looked tired.
By her slower, wobblier-than-normal gait. By her slumped shoulders. By her pointed-straight-in-front-of-her gaze. Ryan didn’t have to stand close to her to know that those damn dark circles still surrounded her eyes. So, her sleep hadn’t improved. Not that she’d admit such a thing to him, or, he supposed, to anyone. Too strong, too proud, too independent.
She could lean on him, if she chose to. If she trusted him enough. If she’d just step toward him a tiny, minuscule inch, he’d meet her the rest of the way. But she had to take that step on her own free will. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, push. So really, all he could do was wait. Keep showing her who he was. And...hope. Because, despite his best intentions, he was pretty damn certain that his heart had already gone too far to retreat. And if it hadn’t?
Well, he still wouldn’t retreat. He simply did not want to.
“Our turn!” Nicole said, once again grasping Ryan’s arm. “Finally. After this, let’s get some food. I’m starving and...” Her words disappeared into the air as she apparently noticed her brother’s preoccupation. “Oh. Andi? Where is this mystery woman?” Standing on her tiptoes, Nicole stared in the direction of Ryan’s gaze. “She’s the redhead in the purple T-shirt, isn’t she?”
“Yes. How’d you figure that out so ridiculously fast?”
“I don’t know. Call it women’s intuition.”
“How about spooky? Let’s go with that.” Then, forcing his gaze away from Andi, who’d yet to notice his or Nicole’s stares, thank goodness, he nodded toward the several empty stools in front of the caricature artist. “I think we’re holding up the line. Ready to do this?”
Nodding, his sister moved forward, sat down and patted the stool next to her, not saying another word about Andi or Ryan’s obvious interest. She was good that way, his sister. Nicole wouldn’t directly mention the topic again unless he did. Okay, she might if something were to occur that concerned her enough to question Ryan, but that was to be expected. And he appreciated both her reticence and that she loved him enough to butt in if she deemed it necessary.
“Okay, you two, strike a pose,” said the artist, a middle-aged man wearing Harry Potter type glasses and a black fedora hat. “Are you two married or...?”
“Oh, no! We’re brother and sister, not a couple,” Nicole said, leaning closer to Ryan. “And this drawing will be a gift for our mother’s birthday.”
“Got it,” the artist said. “Ready?”
Tucking one arm around his sister’s shoulders and giving her rabbit ears with his other hand, Ryan nodded that they were, indeed, ready.
“Perfect.” Without delay, the artist’s hand almost flew across the oversize paper clipped to the easel. “Just keep smiling. This won’t hurt at all.”
No, having a silly drawing made of his and Nicole’s likenesses wouldn’t hurt, but giving his heart to Andi certainly could and probably would cause some pain. Better, though, to risk that potential fallout than to give up without trying. Ryan did not—never had, never would—tackle anything by half, and if he walked away now, he’d forever wonder about what might have been.
He supposed that was yet another lesson he’d learned: what-ifs were the devil and should be avoided at all cost.
* * *
A telltale tingle, along with those annoying butterflies, had informed Andi that Ryan was somewhere nearby, likely watching her. But she purposely did not turn her head to seek him out. If incorrect in her hunch, she didn’t want to know if she’d feel disappointment. And if, on the other hand, her instincts had proved correct, good manners would dictate, at the very least, a greeting and some general conversation.
Neither would present a problem under normal circumstances, but ever since Ryan had taken her to that fantastical, magical hot spring near his house, nothing between them resonated as normal. Somehow, she had connected that moment of peace to him. And she’d caught herself yearning for more...thinking about more and considering possibilities that weren’t in any tangible way possibilities at all. For all the reasons she’d already analyzed.
So, she stuck to her guns and did not search for those solid, firm shoulders, sinfully dark brown eyes or that smile she so loved. She just kept walking, listening as Haley talked about the camp for foster kids that she and her husband ran, and how it would come in really handy to have a nurse on staff whenever camp was in session. Andi wasn’t stupid. Her cousin was trying to offer her a choice so that, if she didn’t want to return to Rhode Island or her prior job, she could stay here and work for Gavin and Haley.
Nice, sure. Generous and considerate? That, too. But Andi didn’t believe her cousin was serious as much as she was verbally speculating, and even if she was...well, her true goal was to work in a hospital again. Before the shooting, Andi had absolutely loved her job at Juliana Memorial and almost everything about it, including the hectic nature.
Fortunately, Haley hadn’t pushed the topic, and after a minor amount of grumbling from Gavin, they’d decided to take a break from their wandering. Now they were enjoying a meal in an enclosed area where a local band was setting up to play. Andrea had already decided that once they were done eating, she’d sit here for a while and let Gavin and Haley peruse more of the festival without her slowing them down. They could enjoy some alone time while she continued to rest and ponder her current situation.
Her biggest issue by far was her inability to sleep. Either she was too afraid of facing another nightmare to fall asleep easily or one of those very same nightmares awakened her, filling her with fear and nervous energy that kept her eyes wide open through sunrise. And then the new day began.
She could not keep this up for much longer. Eventually her body would collapse and she’d end up back in the hospital, where they would drug her to insure she received the necessary sleep. Again, though, a temporary solution that wouldn’t solve the core problem.
Obviously, she hadn’t reconciled what she had witnessed and gone through on that December afternoon. Until she did, she would continue to have nightmares as her brain processed what couldn’t be changed. Yet, for her body and mind to fully heal, she needed to freaking sleep. It seemed like a vicious cycle with no path out, but there had to be a way.
Sighing, she stabbed her fork into her pasta salad and took a bite. Damn it, she had really hoped that coming to Steamboat Springs would offer her enough differences from life at home that she’d find her way. Almost a full month later and that hadn’t happened. Okay then, this problem could not be solved by a simple change in location. The solution lurked inside of her, somewhere.
She just had to find it.
“You’re very quiet over there, Andi,” Haley said, obvious concern echoing in her words. “Everything okay?”
“Yes!” Andi forced cheer into her response and smiled. “
Everything couldn’t be better! I’m glad you insisted I come with you two this morning. In fact, I was quiet because I was thinking about how I need to visit more of those art booths and try to find a painting of the mountains to take home. It would be nice to have a visual remembrance of being here.”
Also, when she next visited the hot spring, she planned on photographing the scene and then later having the shots blown up and framed. She’d hang the pictures on her bedroom walls so she’d never forget the beauty or the serenity or the magic. Or, for that matter, the connection she’d experienced so vividly with Ryan in that place, on that day. Her cheek on his shoulder, their hands entwined and that feeling of...rightness that had enveloped her.
“I’m fairly sure we’ll be able to find the perfect mountain-scene painting. They’re everywhere. Literally, everywhere,” Haley said with a grin that lit up her green eyes. “And we’d already decided before surprising you this morning that you were coming with us. One way or the other. You didn’t really have a choice.”
“Oh, I didn’t, did I?”
“Nope. So it’s good you didn’t argue!”
Quiet resumed for a few minutes, and then Gavin asked, “How are you feeling? We’re not wearing you out, are we? I have no idea what it’s like to recover from bullet wounds and surgeries, let alone anything you witnessed, but I imagine you tire easily.”
“I’m fine. A little tired, definitely, but it’s manageable.” No. She couldn’t think about what she’d witnessed. Not now and not here. And she certainly couldn’t discuss anything to do with that topic—including her recovery—either, but she sensed the conversation was heading in that direction. Don’t panic. What was it Ryan had said? Oh. Keep it simple. “And no, not easy, but I’m feeling stronger every day that passes. It’s just...a process.”
From Good Guy To Groom (The Colorado Fosters #6) Page 6