by Rahul Badami
Self Help 101: How to Change your LIFE in the next 15 minutes
RAHUL BADAMI
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION:
Self Belief allows you to predict your future
SECTION ONE: Thoughts that strengthen Belief
1
We think only Twice in a year
2
Thinking is Praying
3
Asking Hard Questions
SECTION TWO: Actions that strengthen Belief
1
Why ‘The Law of Attraction’ will never work?
2
Taking Tough Actions through Single-Tasking
3
Why it’s critical to succeed just Today?
BONUS SECTION:
1
How do I use this information to Change my Life in the next fifteen minutes?
2
Megabonus: Free Affirmations audio
3
Want me to help you change your Life?
INTRODUCTION:
SELF-BELIEF ALLOWS YOU TO PREDICT THE FUTURE
When I first thought of writing a book on Self Belief my inner self asked me, "Are you the right person to talk about Self Belief?"
I thought about it. I am just an ordinary person. I have had many situations in my life where I questioned my abilities, and whether I was doing the right thing. My belief in myself cannot be called perfect. I am not there yet. So why will anyone read my book?
Then I decided it doesn't matter if no one reads my book. I will write this book for my own self. To inspire myself. To tell myself what I need to do to steel my belief. And if others read it, I would be happy when they find value in my strategies to change their lives.
I didn't question myself any further and started to take action on writing this book. And this is what self belief is actually about. Using right thoughts and productive actions to predict the future.
If I see myself completing this book, and then going back to this chapter to re-read it, it will tell me that my vision of publishing this book is manifested.
How can you change your life?
It all starts with belief. Belief is an intangible emotion that determines the course of everyone’s life. The only way to measure belief is by evaluating the quality of your life. If you want to improve the quality of your life, you have to increase your self belief.
My experience has shown me that the only way we change our belief is through our thoughts and actions.
The relation between Thoughts, Actions and Self Belief can be expressed in two statements. One statement will keep you where you are. The other will unleash the power inside of you.
The first statement is: Our beliefs direct our thoughts and actions.
Would you agree that it’s true?
Consider a boy thinking of asking a girl out for prom. What if he believes she wouldn't be interested in him, and would get bored of his company? The boy would not take the action of asking her out. And because the action wasn't taken, the belief would be reinforced. And the cycle will continue.
LESS BELIEF > LIMITING THOUGHTS > MINIMAL OR NO ACTION > LESS BELIEF
Is there a way out? Yes, of course.
Surprisingly, the reverse holds true as well. Our thoughts and actions direct our belief.
EMPOWERING THOUGHTS > MASSIVE ACTION > STRONGER BELIEF > EMPOWERING THOUGHTS
The first statement doesn't give us much control over our beliefs. But we can use the second statement to change our beliefs and get what we want. The biggest secret of successful people is that even if they don't know everything, they still charge ahead towards their goals.
You don’t have to get it right; you just have to get started.
So let’s get started. I have purposefully kept this book short and to the point. Your time is important. I don't want to overwhelm you with a dozen strategies over hundreds of pages. Nor do I want to beat around the bush with ineffective filler type paragraphs, when effective & succinct information can be provided in a few concise words.
While we are on the topic of conciseness, this book can be described in just one sentence: How to use productive thoughts and productive actions, to strengthen our belief system?
To answer that question, this book is divided into two sections. The first section talks about how our thoughts shape our belief, and how we can use the right thoughts to build a productive belief system. The second section is about taking action towards our dreams, and using those actions to strengthen our beliefs about our dreams.
(Side Note: As you can see from the second statement, Empowering Thoughts initiate the process of increasing your self-belief. I have found that listening to Affirmations is a simple yet powerful way to empower your thoughts. After searching (in vain) for an Affirmations audio that could be a good complement to this book, I decided to create one myself. You can download the Affirmations MP3 for free at http://FreePositiveAffirmations.com )
SECTION ONE:
THOUGHTS THAT’S STRENGHTEN BELIEF
1
WE THINK ONLY TWICE IN A YEAR
“Few people think more than two or three times a year. I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.”
Do you know who spoke these interesting words?
It was George Bernard Shaw. Had he gone bonkers when he disclosed his thinking habits? Is it really possible that one of the greatest thinkers of yesteryears thought only once a week? From my personal experience I would say yes.
Preposterous?
Not so. Mr. Shaw is actually right.
There was a time some years back when I used to consider myself a thinker. I used to spend significant amounts of time dwelling on my life and my future. Today I realize that what I was actually doing was replaying a couple of original thoughts again and again. It couldn't be called sustained creative thinking.
In fact we rarely think. Whatever thought processes that happen in our minds on a daily basis are simply repeated commands. Our routine habits are so entrenched that we barely register brushing our teeth, eating or even driving our car.
Would you think the work you do at your job or business requires you to think? The surprising answer is no.
Even though your work requires complex thought process, once you have been in the same role for more than 3 months, the decision making is repetitive rather than creative. The only time people think at work is during the first few days of a new job, or if there have been an unprecedented turn of events that force you to change your normal work habits.
So what has your thinking got to do with belief? First, our beliefs are the reason we are at our current place in the journey of life. Positive beliefs, positive journey. Negative or neutral beliefs, mediocre journey.
How do we get back in the habit of sustained creative thinking? It can be done by making a conscious effort to allocate 15-30 minutes daily to ask profoundly thoughtful questions of ourselves. This can be done either the first thing in the day or the last one at night. For now, don't worry about the questions that you should ask yourself. I will provide a list of questions in a later chapter to jumpstart your creativity.
2
THINKING IS PRAYING
I am an agnostic. While I don't believe in everything that religion tells us about God, I believe that there is a Power that permeates through the universe. This Universal Power works within us, and through us. We can make this Universal Power our closest friend and ally.
The ancients used to tell us the power of prayer. Unfortunately, the true meaning of prayer has been lost in translation over the centuries.
Until now.
Most p
eople don't realize that every moment in their life, they are praying. And the Universal Power is giving them exactly what they are praying for.
How is that possible?
It is through the power of thoughts. When you are thinking, you are praying. Your thoughts, whether conscious or unconscious, will be received as a prayer to the Universal Power, who will make it work exactly like you wish for. Your quality of life is in direct proportion to the quality of your thoughts.
But, wait a minute. You didn't pray for a lousy job, a crushing debt, or lukewarm relations with your friends and family. I am here to tell you that is exactly what you prayed for. I will further rub it in and say that your thoughts have brought you to your current station in life.
Does that thought make you uncomfortable?
Well, congratulations! You succeeded in thinking outside your comfort zone. Being uncomfortable is a great sign. Because it means that you are learning something new.
Here are some famous quotes to ponder:
A man is what he thinks about all day long - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he - The Bible.
You become what you think about - Earl Nightingale called his aphorism 'the strangest secret'.
All three quotes solely and unequivocally put the onus on ourselves and our thoughts, for who we become. The good news is that it means that our life can be drastically altered by changing the pattern of our thoughts.
Now that you understand the power of prayer and its relationship with thoughts, it’s time to take your awareness to the next level. You will be able to realize why things have worked, or not worked in your life. Consider this.
If thoughts are prayer, then our God is only as strong as our thoughts.
If your dreams are not in alignment with your life, and what you do on a day to day basis, it means that your thoughts aren't strong enough to move you to where you want to be. You may be unconsciously bounding your potential. Your inner voice may be telling you that 'this is the best you can do' or 'you are not capable of doing xyz'.
Most people don't realize that they have an inner critic that thwarts them at every turn and kills their success. This inner critic has been inside of you since your childhood. It has been strengthened each time you heard 'No'.
Shad Helmsletter, author of 'What to say, when you talk to yourself' revealed in his book that the typical child hears 'No' around 150,000 times by the age of 18. That is a shocking statistic of how we are conditioned even before we can think rationally for ourselves.
The best way to identify if you have an inner critic is to observe your actions.
Are you procrastinating on your goals?
Bingo! Your inner critic has chained you down with a 'cant-do' message. The best method I have found to get over this 'No' conditioning is through the power of affirmations.
Affirmations basically mean that you talk to yourself about yourself in a positive manner. This de-stresses you and makes you more relaxed and confident. I have been listening to affirmations daily for a couple of years and it has literally transformed how I think about myself and my capabilities.
You can download my own Affirmations audio MP3 absolutely free at http://freepositiveaffirmations.com . Make sure that you are listening to it daily, so that over a period of time the positive vibes from the affirmations sink into your subconscious. The best time I have discovered to listen to the affirmations is when you are in the bathtub. That is the time when you have the least distractions.
3
ASKING HARD QUESTIONS
One of my friends loves food. Naturally he has belly fat. If I have to tell him to lose his belly fat, what advice do you think I should give him?
How about if I were to tell him, "Eat less and exercise more." Would that be a good suggestion? Yes, I think that would be a very good suggestion. It would be the best way for him to be lean and slim.
But there's a catch.
Even I have belly fat.
So before I suggest anything to him, I should be following my own advice.
Too many times, we have all the answers to life's major questions like how to lose weight, how to spend less and save more, how to have better relationships, how to do a better job. But we don't implement them even if they are straight forward common sense.
Why?
Because the answers are not the issue here, it’s the questions we ask of ourselves.
The hardest question isn't beating yourself up by asking, "Why didn't I take action towards my goals?” It is by asking, "Why should I take action towards this goal?" Or at an even more primary level, "Is this, the right goal for me?"
We usually equate hard questions as questions that will make us squirm and bring on feelings of futility. No. Hard questions are those that take us right back to the start and even question whether you are on the right path.
Here's a profound thought that has guided me to improve the quality of my life: Life is not about getting the right answers. It’s about asking the right questions of ourselves.
The better the questions we ask, the better we are able to guide ourselves.
Create a framework of tough questions that you ask yourself every day. This will help spur your creativity and keep you set on your track. Take a printout of these questions and paste them on a wall or somewhere where you can see it every day.
The most fundamental question we need to ask ourselves is:
What is my purpose in life?
My easiest and simplest definition of 'purpose' is, doing something worthwhile that gives you lasting happiness .
Some simple things can make you temporarily happy, but they cannot be your purpose for living. You will be happy after gorging down on a McFlurry. The question to ask is: did you do something worthwhile and whether it will give you lasting happiness.
Discovering your purpose is the first step towards a fulfilling life. Remember that we discover our purpose through trial and error .
What comes naturally to me? What am I inherently better at?
Knowing what you are good at could be a good indicator of where your purpose should lie. Are you finding it difficult to evaluate what you are good at? That's natural. We tend to underestimate things we are good at and try to downplay it.
“Oh, anyone can cook.”
“Anyone can be observant.”
“Everyone can raise good children.”
“Everyone can maintain a good relation with their spouse.”
But the reality is not everyone can do what you can easily do. You will have to search hard to find what you excel at. Remember that your purpose should be in alignment to your temperament .
If I did everyday what I did today for the next few years, would I be closer to my purpose and happiness?
Answer in a simple yes or no.
This question is actually a checkpoint that will gauge whether you are on the right path. It evaluates whether your daily habits are in line with your purpose. If your answer for today is No, ask yourself if you worked on something in the past week or month towards your purpose. Was there any recent activity you did that would put you on the path of lasting happiness?
If the answer to this question is also No, I would strongly suggest you to take a hard look at how your life is set up, and evaluate what you will need to do to align yourself with your purpose.
SECTION TWO:
ACTIONS THAT STRENGTHEN BELIEF
1
WHY ‘THE LAW OF ATTRACTION’ WILL NEVER WORK?
When I first watched the movie 'The Secret', I was absolutely thrilled by it. It was like THE answer to my prayers. I could now simply think the right thoughts to attract health, wealth, and happiness in my life. I may have viewed the movie dozens of times to understand the secret, and how I could use it.
But try as much as I could to think positive thoughts, and wait for the universe to align with my thoughts, nothing happened. My dreams were just that. Dreams.
Eventually, I got disillusioned an
d stopped believing in the Law of Attraction. And I am not the only one. There are millions who have shared a similar experience.
Why the Law of Attraction that worked for thousands of people, didn't work for millions?
Here's the answer.
Like others, I was expecting the Law of Attraction to give me something for almost nothing. I just had to sit back and dream and the Universe would provide me with everything. I had fallen into the common misconception of taking the Law of Attraction literally. There is a crucial concept that hasn't been drilled down in the movie 'The Secret' which has led to the ineffectiveness in the Law of Attraction.
The Law is not about Attraction, it’s about ATTR ACTION.
Or in other words, its actual name should have been 'The Law of Action'. Also known as the Law of Cause and Effect, this is the real driving force behind the entire Universe. I would like to call this as the real Universal Power.
Action is the only thing that can shake up things, prevent you from stagnating, bring beneficial changes, and greatly improve your life situation. Action is the only method through which you can align your body (doer) with your mind (thinker) to realize your dreams (future). Unfortunately, sitting and wishing has never helped anyone, nor will it ever work for anyone, especially you.
Feels hard to accept this?
It was very tough for me to digest this fact. I was stubborn enough to think that things will automatically go the way I wanted. Years passed, and I was still stuck in the same place. I passed my entire twenties (a decade if you will) and went almost into my mid-thirties before I realized this. (I admit I am a slow learner.)
What is your own age? Would you find it hard to believe that a dozen years would just pass by, and you will find out that you still haven't worked on your major life goals? Trust me, it will happen without action.