by Love, Sandra
“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
I went to sit on the couch. “Mom, Dad, you have to let me grow up. Let me make my choices. Let me remember.”
My dad spoke up. “What if what you remember destroys you again?”
“I will not let that happen. I might have liked being high, but these withdrawals from the drugs suck. I sweat and shake all the time. It feels as if my insides are being ripped about. Dad, I promise you, I don’t want this anymore. I want to turn my life around.”
He pulled me into a hug. “I love you, baby. I just don’t want to lose you again.”
“I promise you that you will not lose me… unless you keep me away from Jeb. That I would not be able to forgive you for.” Both of their faces fell, and I felt horrible, but it was my life and I should be able to make my own choices, my own mistakes, my own everything. My parents raised me, but as an adult, I needed to finish life by my own standards and my own decisions. I might have made the wrong ones the first time, based on what I had been allowed to know, but everyone should get at least one second chance. “Now,” I continued, “his parents invited me to a gala of some sort, and I am going to go.”
My mother walked out of the room, but my father spoke up. “Okay, baby girl. I want you to be able to have fun.”
“What about Mom?”
“I will talk to her.”
After talking to my dad for a bit, I went upstairs to my room. I went to my closet, to scour my clothes for the gala. I ended up finding a black velvet strapless dress that had a note on it.
For my senior prom
It still had a tag on it. I wondered why I didn’t wear it to prom. Maybe I wore another dress. I shook off the thought. After getting stuff together for the gala, I went to eat dinner. The table was quiet, and my mother didn’t even look at me once. Brianna was talking to Dad about school. After we ate, I went up to my room and looked through more of my stuff. I didn’t find anything that triggered my memory. I looked at the clock and noticed it was almost eleven. I went to bed. I couldn’t get comfortable, and I got the urge to go sleep outside. I had no idea why, but I got my pillow and blanket and went downstairs. I quietly went out the door and made my bed on the front porch. I found being outside more appealing and comfortable. I fell asleep fast.
***
“Toria, what are you doing outside? Did you sleep out here?”
I was woken up by Brianna. I slowly opened my eyes and saw it was daylight. I sat up, and nodded as I rubbed my eyes.
She looked at me, confused. “Why?”
“I have no idea. I felt the need to sleep outside.”
She helped me get up, and we started to walk into the house. I heard my parents arguing in the kitchen. Brianna and I walked over to listen. “Why on earth would she sleep outside?” My mother sounded pissed.
“Maybe it makes her feel a connection. Maybe it will help her remember.”
“Why would you want her to remember? When she does, she will hate me, hate both of us. Hell, even hate Bri. Do you really want that?”
He didn’t answer right away. “To be honest, I’d rather her hate me. I just want her to remember. She will hate us, but at least she would have her life back.”
I turned to look at Brianna, and she had tears rolling down her cheeks. She mouthed ‘I’m sorry’, and I went up to my room and shut the door. I started to cry. I got the urge to take something, but I told myself to stay strong. I could do this. I balled up on my bed and just cried. I didn’t want this to ruin my day. That night, I was going to go to a special gala with Jeb and his family. I sat up and decided I needed to start getting ready. The rest could wait.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jeb
It was time to pick up the tuxedo for that night’s event. Good thing they had my size available and they didn’t have to spend a lot of time altering it. Once I was done there, I went to get a haircut. I wanted to look great for Toria. I was hoping she would want to come home with me after the gala. I really wished she would come home with me every night. Once I was done, I headed back to the condo to get ready. Once I was dressed, it was time to go and pick up Toria. I was nervous on how her parents were going to react to her going with me.
I parked the car and got out. Brianna opened the door with a smile. “Wait until you see her. She is beautiful. Oh, my parents decided to leave, so you don’t have to deal with them. They are mad. More my mom than my dad, but at least you have a reprieve from their anger. Anyway, are you ready to see her?” I nodded. “Toria, come on down!” she yelled as if she were calling a contestant on The Price is Right.
I turned toward the stairs, and when I saw her, my heart started to race. She was wearing a beautiful black, velvet dress with a pair of red high heels. Her hair was done up in a high, slick ponytail. She was absolutely beautiful, and all I wanted to do was take off her clothes. I shook the thought from my head. She made it down the stairs and stopped in front of me.
“Wow, you look beautiful.”
She smiled and grabbed my arm. “You don’t look bad yourself. I like the new haircut.”
“Why, thank you Miss Jacobs.”
She turned to her sister. “I don’t think I will make it home tonight. So please tell our parents that they don’t need to worry.”
The way she said our parents was unusual and bitter.
They hugged each other. “You have fun, Toria.”
We walked out to the car and I held the door while she got in. I was curious on what happened yesterday after I dropped her off. “Hey, are you okay?”
Looking down at her hands, she let out a sigh. “My mother is being a royal bitch. I guess she really doesn’t want me to remember my old life.”
“Yeah, she wasn’t very friendly in the hospital either.”
“Jeb, why would I sleep outside?”
I looked at her, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Last night, I wanted to sleep outside, so I got my things and went and slept on the porch.”
She looked away, ashamed. “I am not sure why, Toria. Hopefully, you find out soon.” I knew why she did that, but I didn’t want to tell her. Not just yet. “Hey, let’s just go to this gala and have fun.”
“Good, I am excited about this. I look all fancy.”
She let out a laugh, and I joined in. Once we got to the museum, we got out. I could tell she was really nervous. I squeezed her hand to reassure her she was safe with me.
“Toria and Jeb, over here!” Mother called as we stepped inside.
I looked at Toria, and she smiled at me. We headed over toward my mother.
“Wow, Toria, you’re breathtaking.”
I could see that her face was turning a little red. “Thank you, ma’am. This place is lovely. May I walk around?”
“Of course, dear.”
“Do you want me to walk with you, hon?”
She looked up to me with her bright brown eyes and smiled.
“No, please stay and talk to your family.”
I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and she walked off.
“She is very lovely; a lot classier than Barb.”
“She is. I just want her to hurry up and remember.”
I ran my hands through my hair.
“Give her time. She has been through so much. Oh, and your father dropped her father as his lawyer. I guess there was some sort of issue. He hasn’t told me anything yet.”
“Wow, he has been Father’s lawyer for years.”
“Yes, he has, but trust is a big factor.”
I agreed with her. I looked over to Toria looking at all the paintings. She looked as if she was having a blast.
“Jeb, my man.”
Sean walked over to me, and Maddie was on his arm.
I gave Maddie a hug. “I didn’t expect you to show up.”
“Your mother invited us. So, where is that Toria girl?”
I look over toward her, and she caught my eyes and smiled. She turned back to the painting.
/> “She is over there.”
“So are you and Barb really over?” Maddie asked with sarcasm in her voice.
“Yes, we are. I didn’t love her. She was only after my money.”
“That’s too bad. I liked her. Maybe I could get to know this Toria girl, though.”
Sean kissed her on the cheek and watched Maddie walk away. Something about the way Maddie said ‘this Toria girl’ had me on edge. I turned back to talk to Sean.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Toria
When I saw Jeb talking to Sean, the same odd feeling came over me that had the day before when I first ‘met’ him. Something was off about him, but I wasn’t sure what to think. Was it just the fact that I sort of remembered him from before my accident, or was there so much more to it? Either way, I didn’t trust him.
“Toria?”
I turned around at the mention of my name, to see the girl who had been standing with Sean coming my way.
“Yes?”
“Hi, I’m Maddie, and Barb is one of my best friends. Do you know you were the one that ruined their engagement?”
I looked at her, confused. I had no idea what she was talking about. “I have no idea who Barb is.”
“That’s because you are Whoria Toria. Yeah, Sean told me all about you. How you threw yourself at him all those years ago. Even though he was older than you. I also know about how you are a hard core drug addict. Oh, and homeless. I hope you like living it up in the fast lane. But even your parents hate you. They’re the ones that kicked you out, because you were nothing but a druggie whore. Why don’t you do everyone a favor and runaway and do more crack? Maybe it will kill you this time. But leave Jeb alone. He is spoken for.”
I was shocked at what I was hearing. Was this true? Was I a whore? “Maddie, thank you, sweets.” I looked over to see a blonde, and there was something familiar about her. I wondered if it was the Barb woman she spoke of. “Yeah, why don’t you run away and destroy your life more?”
I started to back away, and I looked around for the exits. That’s when I tripped over someone and fell to the ground. Then it was like I had a flash and a person’s face popped in my head. He was a black guy. Oh no, was he one of the drug dealers? I got up and I heard Jeb calling my name. People around me were whispering, and some were even laughing. I started to walk faster. All I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. When the night air hit my face, the tears spilled. I looked around and I had no idea where to go. I started to walk, but I heard my name being called.
Jeb grabbed my arm and he spun me around. “What happened?”
“Homeless, really? I am a homeless whore?”
He looked shocked. “Toria, let me explain.”
“Why? So you can beat around the bush even more? So you can lie to me? All I want to know is who I am, who I was before I was bashed in the head. Is that really too much to ask?
He pulled me into a hug. “I will explain everything. Please come home with me.”
“Promise? I really need this. Please help me.”
He went to get his car, so I sat on the bench to wait. When his car pulled up, he got out and helped me get in. We began to drive. I just watched the city lights pass us by. When we pulled up to his place, my mouth opened in shock. He lived in a beautiful condo. When we walked in, I just stood there not knowing what to do. Jeb walked over and grabbed my hand.
“Make yourself at home.”
I took off my shoes and followed him into the living room. It was so white and bright. I noticed in the corner was a guitar. “Do you play?”
“I used to.”
I turned to face him. “You will have to play for me one day.”
He chuckled. “I promise you I will. So please sit and let me explain to you what is going on.”
He told me everything that he knew. About my parents kicking me out, about me dropping out of school. That explained why I didn’t wear the dress to the prom. He told me about being homeless, and that Vanessa helped me get the job. Thinking about her, I really wanted to see her. He told me about what happened the night I ran away. About how Barb was. Thinking about all this mad me sad. To know that I could be summed up so easily … I was a homeless girl who was addicted to drugs. That was who Toria Jacobs was.
“Earlier when I fell, I had a flash of a black man. Do you know who he is?”
“That sounds like Mitch. He took care of you for years.”
I smiled. I wanted to meet him. “Can I meet him?”
“Yes, tomorrow I will take you to him. But you must know, he isn’t doing well. He was also a drug addict. He is going through withdrawals just like you are.”
“At least he is getting clean.”
We talked for a while, and he answered all my questions. I was upset with my rents, and I didn’t want to go back to that place. I really wanted to stay with Jeb. He made me a sandwich and told me I could wear one of his shirts. When I was done changing, I walked out to the living room and he was playing his guitar. He had a magnificent voice.
“Don’t stop. I love listening to you.”
He sat down the guitar and walked over to me and slammed his lips to mine. He backed me up against the wall. I deepened the kiss and moaned in his mouth. He stopped kissing me and placed his forehead against mine.
“What are you doing to me?”
“What do you mean?”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I lose control when I am with you. I just want to touch you, feel you, be inside you.”
“Then do it. Lose control, feel me, touch me, and take control of me. I want that more than you know.”
His lips were back on mine in a flash. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He started to walk toward the steps. We stopped kissing so we could get up to his room. He slammed me against the wall and I let out a loud moan. I could feel his large erection pressing against my sex. He turned me around and laid me on the bed.
“I want to taste you.”
He started to kiss my leg, and once he got up to my inner thighs, I moaned louder.
“Please taste me.”
He helped get my underwear off, and I felt his tongue against my folds. He started to lick slowly, and when he made it to my clit, his tongue circled around it.
“Oh Jeb, I want to come. Please make me come.”
He slid in a finger and I started to ride it. He continued to lick and suck my clit and finger-fuck me. I started to shake and I came so hard that my heart felt as if it would bust out of me.
“I want to be inside you, baby.”
He got up and grabbed a condom and rolled it on. He pulled me up and on top of him. I grabbed his hard erection and I slowly pushed it into me. Once he was all the way in me, I pulled his shirt off and he started to lick and suck on my nipples as I rode him. We moaned and groaned together until we both met our orgasm. Once we both came, I fell on top of him.
He ran his hands in my hair. “You are so beautiful.”
“Do you really think so? Even after all that you’ve heard about me?”
“We are all human, and we make choices that we are not proud of.”
“I know, but I wish I knew why I started using drugs. I wish I could remember.”
He brought my face to his and kissed my forehead. “Baby, we will get you to remember.”
“I am glad I have you.” I said before a soft kiss. “Can I get a shower?”
“Only if I can join you.”
I climb off him, sore from our ministrations. Both of us got into the shower, and he washed my body. As he was rinsing me, he would kiss every inch. He really knew how to make a girl happy. After we were done, we got out. We went to lay back down in the bed together. He held me in his arms. This was the perfect moment, and there was no way in hell I was going to let this moment go.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jeb
I woke up and Toria was curled up in a ball. I just looked at her as she slept. She looked so peaceful, but also broken. My he
art suddenly broke for her. I began to kiss her shoulders and her arms.
“I like being woken up like this.”
I smiled to myself as I flipped her over. I got on top of her and started to tickle her. She started to laugh. “Please stop! You are going to make me pee myself.”
I stopped and placed my lips to hers. Her kisses made my heart skip a beat. “Toria, I’m falling in love with you.”
He eyes went big and she smiled. “I am falling in love with you as well. You have been by my side and haven’t given up on me.”
“I could never do that to you.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, let’s get ready so I can take you to see Mitch.”
She sat up and looked at me. “I have no clothes here, and I really don’t want to go back to my house.”
“We will go and get you some clothes before we go see him. Hey, would it be cool if we invite Vanessa? She really wants to see you.”
“I would love to see her. It seems like she was the only true girlfriend I had. Even though I just met her. “
We got up and got ready. I gave her some of my clothes to wear for the time being. Where I was taking her was right around the corner. She felt really silly because she had to wear her heels. My sweats were so big on her, but she looked adorable. I got her some new jeans, shirts, dresses, skirts, shorts, shoes, and undergarments. She was a wonderful shopper; she shopped conservatively and cheap. I could tell she was excited to be shopping. Once she figured out what she wanted to wear, we headed to visit Mitch.
“Thank you, Jeb. You didn’t have to do this.”
I grabbed her hand. “Get used to it. I am going to spoil you so much.”
“Oh, please don’t.”
“No fighting with me.”
We both laughed.
I pulled into Tony’s driveway and saw that Vanessa was there already. We got out and Toria just stood there looking at the trailer.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, this place seems familiar to me.”
I looked toward the place and back to her. “That’s a good thing. Maybe you are remembering stuff.” We walked in, and when we got inside, something incredible happened. Toria looked at Mitch and ran into his arms.