by Carrie Secor
“You’re driving Melody and Andy there anyway,” Stacy pointed out shrewdly.
Cadie was silent again.
“Cadie, come on. What do you honestly think is going to happen to you? You’re going to be at my house.”
She had a point. “We’ll see,” Cadie finally relented.
“That’s a yes, isn’t it?”
“It’s a ‘we’ll see’,” Cadie responded, though she was smiling.
Melody and Susan sat at the end of a long table in the cafeteria, with a gap of several chairs separating them from the group with whom they shared the table. On the first day of school, Susan had made a point of saying how she would rather sit with Melody than sit with a group of cheerleaders, even though they would probably “give her hell” for not sitting with them at lunch. When Melody suggested that they both sit with the cheerleaders, Susan had acted like the suggestion was ridiculous, as if the cheerleaders would even give Melody a second glance if she were not friends with Susan. The truth was, school had been in session for several days now, and Melody had yet to see the other cheerleaders look in their direction at all. She was not entirely sure they were aware of Susan’s existence.
Susan brought her lunch every day, though all that it ever contained was what Melody would call rabbit food. Today she withdrew a container of yogurt and a Ziploc bag of celery and carrot sticks from her brown paper bag. She had purchased an iced tea from the cafeteria.
Melody had been too nervous to buy an entire lunch. She bought a carton of lemonade and a bag of white cheddar popcorn, which she started to eat very slowly.
Susan nodded at Melody’s meager lunch. “You should eat more,” she said.
“Listen to the girl with the celery,” Melody responded, her mouth full of popcorn. She wiped her right hand clean on her napkin.
“I have to stay in shape,” Susan answered moodily. “I’m a flyer.”
Melody had no reply to that. “I’m just nervous about tonight,” she explained to Susan.
“About going to the party? Don’t worry about it. I invited you, so it’s okay.”
“No, I’m nervous about going with Andy,” Melody whispered, pointedly ignoring Susan’s rude comment.
“Oh, right.” Susan started nibbling on a carrot stick. Melody noticed her nose did move a little bit like a rabbit’s. “Well, are you going to say anything to him?”
“Anything about what?” Melody asked.
“Anything like, ‘Hey, Andy, I like you’?”
Melody shook her head fiercely. “That was not in the plan.”
Susan snorted. “So all he knows is that you guys are going to this party together, and you’re not planning on saying anything to him that would make him think that you’re more than friends.”
“That is correct.”
Susan rolled her eyes. “So what’s making you nervous? It’s just going to be a normal night.”
“It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like it’s a date.”
“Does he feel like it feels like a date?”
Melody nervously rapped her fingers on the table. “I don’t know.”
Susan ate some of her yogurt. “I think you should tell him that you like him.”
Melody took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
Susan pointed her spoon at Melody defiantly. “You said you were going to ask him to this party to start progressing your relationship. But if he doesn’t realize that your relationship is moving forward, then it’s not really progress. If you don’t say something to him tonight about it, he’s not going to get it because he’s an idiot. You have to make the first move.”
Melody nodded. “You’re probably right.”
“What time is your curfew?”
Melody furrowed her brow. “Midnight. Why?”
“Give me your phone.” Susan held out her hand.
“Why?”
“Just give me your phone,” Susan commanded.
Melody obliged and handed over her phone.
Susan flipped it open and began pushing buttons. Melody leaned forward, but could not see across the table to determine what Susan was doing. “If your curfew is midnight, you’ll have to leave Stacy’s house by about 11:45 to make it home in time,” she began. “So, I’m setting an alarm on your phone for 11:35. If you haven’t told Andy that you like him by 11:35, your phone is going to go off to remind you that that is your mission, and it must be completed.”
“Wait, if I have to leave by 11:45, that only gives me ten minutes to talk to Andy,” Melody protested.
Susan handed the phone back across the table to her. “Well then, I suggest you start sooner.”
The final bell rang, signaling the end of eighth period. Elliot and Felicia stood up, gathering their things. Felicia was aware that they had barely spoken to one another since they had sat down at the beginning of class, which was a rarity even though they had only known each other for several days. It seemed like already they had gotten in the habit of reliving their days to one another during this class. Even though they saw each other at lunch, they had two classes between then and eighth period. Felicia had chemistry followed by gym; Elliot had Spanish, then trigonometry. The past two days, they had dissected these classes in great detail to one another. However, that had not been the case today. Felicia just did not feel like talking.
Evidently, Elliot did not share that feeling. “Your brother is in my Spanish class,” she announced.
“Oh?” Felicia answered absently. “Yeah, I guess he would be. That never occurred to me.”
“Well, he is. Why is he in Spanish 3 and not 4?”
“He took French his freshman year and hated it, so he switched.”
“Oh.” Felicia could see that Elliot was eyeing her carefully. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” Felicia responded.
“Mm-hmm.”
Felicia could tell Elliot did not believe her, but she did not feel like elaborating. She was grateful that the topic was left alone, but she still wished that Elliot would not continue making mundane conversation just to fill the silence.
“So, all the cheerleaders wear those shirts or something?” Elliot asked. She nodded in the direction of Rachael Dunmyer.
“She’s not a cheerleader,” Felicia replied dully. “She’s dating Ryan Hostler. On the day of a football game, all the girlfriends wear those shirts. It’s some stupid tradition.”
“Who wears Shane’s?”
“Shane doesn’t have girlfriends. He has hookups.”
“Oh. So they get these shirts—”
“I’m going to have sex with Brian tonight,” Felicia blurted.
Elliot clapped her hands together excitedly. “Yes! I knew that if I talked to you about something completely stupid, you would tell me what was really going on.”
“That’s all you have to say?” Felicia demanded. She glanced around surreptitiously, making sure no one else was within earshot. All the other students seemed to have skedaddled more quickly than usual, being that it was Friday afternoon.
Elliot paused. “Congratulations?” she suggested.
“I’m glad you can be so nonchalant about it,” Felicia hissed. “I’m freaking out.”
“Felicia, what’s to freak out about? You love him, don’t you?”
Felicia was silent for a moment. “Yes,” she finally responded, almost resentfully.
“And you said you were going to have sex with him eventually, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well…” Elliot trailed off in a shrug. “I know it’s nerve-wracking, but it’s going to be okay. It’ll probably be kind of weird and awkward the first time, but at least you guys care about each other. I lost my virginity to a guy I’d been dating for a month who dumped me the next day.”
“Are you serious?” Felicia was appalled.
“Yeah. It was pretty brutal. He sent me an e-mail that said, ‘Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.’ ”
“He did not,” Felicia said, smiling.
“Okay, not really. But he might as well have. It was equally brutal.”
Felicia sighed. “So what you’re saying is—”
“What I’m saying is, it’ll go a lot more smoothly if you’re not freaking out,” Elliot said. “I know it’s a big deal, but… it’s not enough to stress yourself out over. Okay?”
Felicia nodded. “Yes.”
“Okay,” Elliot said skeptically. “I know you’re just going to ignore me and freak out anyway, but I appreciate that you pretended to listen.”
Felicia actually laughed.
She and Elliot parted ways at the auditorium door; Felicia headed toward Shane’s car, which was parked in the lot, and Elliot headed to her own car, which was parked on a street behind the school. As she walked to the parking lot, her head down, she marveled at how close she and Elliot had become in just a matter of days. Here she was, delving into her sexual issues with Brian without provocation after eighth period, while the prospect of discussing the same thing with Cadie seemed absurd at the least. Why did she feel so comfortable talking about it with Elliot? And why, she wondered, did she feel more comfortable talking about it with Elliot then actually doing it with Brian?
Eight
Cadie climbed the bleachers behind her parents, who were completely decked out in blue and gold. Their uninhibited enthusiasm at the high school football games had always amused her. They claimed they only attended to see Melody perform, but Cadie knew they were die-hard football fans. It was always a shock to see her demure and immaculate mother screaming and rattling a cowbell.
It was warm enough this evening, but Cadie knew that within the next few weeks they would be sitting out here under blankets and sipping hot chocolate. Currently she was comfortable wearing only a hooded sweatshirt. Underneath she wore a striped polo shirt over jeans. A pair of cute high-heeled boots had replaced her burgundy Doc Martens for the evening, and she was wearing her contacts instead of glasses. She still was not sure if she was going to stay at the party, but she figured if she did, she might as well not look like a trucker.
“Is Felicia going to that party with you?” Daisy asked, settling down next to her husband. All three of them had blue and gold seat cushions.
“No,” Cadie replied, sitting down next to her mother. “She’s going out with Brian tonight, I think.”
“Oh. Well, anyway, your father and I discussed it, and since you’ll be out tonight with Melody, you don’t have to be back at midnight. We don’t have a problem if you stay out until one.”
“Oh, I wasn’t planning on going to the party,” Cadie said quickly. “I was just going to drop Melody and Andy off and then pick them up later.”
“I thought you said it was at Stacy’s house,” Daisy said. “Aren’t you two friends?”
“Yeah. It’s just not really my scene. It’s all football players and cheerleaders.”
Tom and Daisy exchanged a glance. Daisy cleared her throat. “I don’t mean to sound negative,” she began diplomatically, “but—”
“Why the hell are Melody and Andy going?” Tom interrupted.
“I have absolutely no idea,” Cadie responded. “I’m just the chauffeur for the evening.”
Tom and Daisy looked at each other again, this time for longer. Cadie knew they had these silent conversations often. She wondered how long a couple had to be married before they developed the ability to read each other’s minds. Then she wondered if the couples who never developed that ability were the ones that ended up getting divorced.
Finally, Daisy turned to look at her. “I think you should go to that party,” she said.
“Why?” Cadie countered.
“I don’t like the idea of Melody going to that party by herself,” Daisy explained. “She’s not really friends with anyone that will be there.”
“She’s friends with Andy,” Cadie pointed out. Daisy gave her such a look that Cadie said, “Okay, I retract my previous statement. Clearly that was the wrong thing to say. I just don’t particularly want to go to that party. I don’t know why you think it’ll be better for Melody if I’m there.”
Tom leaned around his wife to look at his daughter. “What else did you have planned for tonight?”
Cadie raised an eyebrow at him. “That was pretty rude, Dad.”
“It was just a question.”
“Well, what do you have planned for tonight?” Cadie shot back.
“Excuse me, I’m forty-three. I’m an old man and my life is pretty much over. You, on the other hand, are seventeen and should be out on a Friday night.”
“Excuse me, I’m out right now.”
“With your parents,” Tom and Daisy said together.
Felicia sat at her vanity and stared at her own reflection in the mirror. She was fully aware that tonight would be the last night that a virgin stared back at her. She wondered how much it would hurt, and whether or not that would affect her performance at her dance rehearsal tomorrow.
Mostly she wondered what kind of effect it would have on the future of her relationship with Brian. Tonight they would have sex. What about tomorrow night? And the night after that? Brian was leaving soon for college. How much of his remaining time at home were they going to spend engaged in conversation compared to the amount of time they spent engaged in sexual intercourse? She was very aware that they were never going to be able to come back from tonight. But what if she wanted to?
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. She looked at her watch and took a deep breath. It was only 6:45, earlier than Brian said he would be there, but that did not surprise her, considering how badly he wanted to do this. She stood and went to the window, looking out into the driveway.
If she had believed in cursing, she would have. Her parents’ Subaru Forester had just pulled up. They had left for Shane’s game a bit ago, but obviously had forgotten something.
Brian was bound to show up at any moment. Felicia crossed the room to her desk and grabbed her cell phone. She immediately started sending a text message to Brian, warning him to hang back because her parents had just returned.
No sooner had she hit the “send” button did Felicia hear another car pull up in the driveway. She looked out the window to see Brian’s green Dodge Shadow pull in behind her parents’ car. She watched her father and Brian get out of their respective driver’s seats at the same time.
This time she actually did curse out loud, turning to run out of her bedroom and downstairs. She got halfway down the hallway before doing an about-face and returning to her room to deposit a quarter in the swear jar on her desk. Then she ran back down the hallway again.
Felicia reached the top of the stairs just as the front door opened in the foyer at the bottom of the stairs. She froze.
Alex and Brian came through the door together. Felicia swallowed nervously, unsure of what to say. Her parents were pretty easy-going, but they did have rules. One of them was keeping the door open when she had Brian in her room. Another was that she and Brian were not allowed to be alone in the house together. Period.
Alex saw her standing at the top of the steps. “Hey, honey,” he greeted her. “Are you ready?”
Her eyes widened. “Um, what?”
Her dad disappeared behind the staircase, walking toward the den at the back of the house. “I had to come back because we forgot the camera,” he called as Felicia descended the stairs. “Actually, I’m pretty sure she forgot the camera, but try telling her that.”
“What did you say to him?” Felicia hissed to Brian once she had reached the bottom of the stairs.
“I told him that we’d decided to go to the game tonight,” he whispered back.
“What? Why did you tell him that?” she demanded.
“I’m sorry. He asked me what I was doing here and it was the first thing that came to mind. I didn’t want to get you in trouble.”
“Well, why didn’t you tell him we were going to
the movies or something? Then we could have doubled back.”
“I had to think fast—” Brian cut himself off when Felicia’s father walked back into the room with his wife’s camera.
Alex looked at Felicia. “You’re not ready. We’re going to be late.”
Felicia felt completely trapped. “Let me go get my purse,” she said defeatedly. She went back upstairs to her room.
While she was gathering up her things, she saw that she had a new text message. She opened her phone, expecting to see a hasty message from Brian in response to her previous text, but instead it was a message from Elliot.
Let me know how it goes. EW.
Felicia half-smiled; she thought it was amusing that, even though it always looked like a sign of disgust, Elliot used her initials as her text message signature. She responded, Change of plans. No longer having sex tonight. Going to the football game instead.
As she was putting her shoes on, her phone beeped, and she opened it to read Elliot’s reply.
Not sure which one would be more painful. EW.
In spite of the evening that lay ahead of her, Felicia actually laughed. She tried not to think about the feeling of relief that had settled in the pit of her stomach.
Melody was sweating as she filed into the bleachers with the rest of the trumpet section. There were seven of them this year, the biggest their section had been since Melody had joined the band in seventh grade. There was only one other girl in the section besides herself, and that was Tiffany Greiner, a senior and their section leader. The other trumpet players were Wes Caldwell, a senior; Steve Wolf, a junior; Clint Taylor, a freshman; and Mike Mountain and Patrick Young, who were both in eighth grade and new to the band this year.