“I better go, Logan. And I need to retract the connection. I can’t risk him realizing we’re bonded and can telepathically communicate over any distance because then he may figure out what we’re up to. I’ll contact you again when it’s safe to do so. Please try not to worry. Everything will be fine.”
“I love you, Sadie. You won’t be out of my thoughts.”
“Nor you mine. Love you too. Speak soon.”
Reluctantly, I withdraw my line and terminate our connection, leaving me bereft. The immediate hollow space in my heart and my mind leaves me feeling desolate and like half a person, but I have to force those sentiments aside. I have a show to put on, and I need to be damn convincing.
Once on board the ship, Ax guides me into the plush private cabin, sealing the doors shut behind us. “Take a seat.” With his back to me, he works to untie his robe. Tossing it over a chair, he turns to face me. I claim a seat on the stiff silver couch as he addresses me head-on for the first time since arriving on Narik. “Would you like something to eat or drink?”
“No, thank you.” I clasp my hands in my lap.
Ax fixes himself a drink as a gentle vibration builds under my feet. The ship elevates off the ground, slowly, until we emerge from the building, and then it soars skyward, accelerating at vast speed.
I jump, startled, when Ax sits down beside me.
“There’s no need to be frightened, Sadie. I won’t hurt you, and I won’t let anyone else harm you either.”
Looking down at my lap, I murmur, “I know that.”
His finger tilts my chin up so we’re face level. “I have missed you, too.”
Staring into his pink eyes, I’m glad to finally hear some sliver of compassion. Gingerly, I run my fingers up the side of his face. “Let me see your eyes.”
His jaw clenches tight as he climbs to his feet. “What? So you can pretend I’m him?” he spits.
“No, Ax! I only want to see the real you!”
Leaning over me, he yells, “This is the real me!” I cower back into the couch. “Why would I want to embrace that other side of myself? If I could flush the Saven DNA out of my system, I would. I want nothing to do with that side of my heritage. Nothing to do with him.” An ugly snarl contorts his face. “And I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Logan is banned as a topic of conversation—do you hear me?”
I stand up, scrutinizing his face. “What has she done to you?”
“Why would you think my mother has done anything to me? She isn’t the one who ripped my heart right out of my chest and crushed it to nothing.”
Blood freezes in my veins at his insinuation. “Ax, I …” My voice wobbles.
He rises, planting one hand on my shoulders. He levels an intense gaze at me as he takes conscious deep breaths. Momentarily, he shutters his eyes, pressing his forehead to mine. After a bit, he offers an apology. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for shouting. It’s not your fault. I know that.” He caresses my face tenderly. “You don’t remember, and once you do, everything will be perfect again.” Super-fast, he pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his strong arms around my waist. He buries his face in my neck, inhaling deeply.
“What did you mean by that?”
He lifts his head up. “Isn’t it obvious?” He brushes my hair back off my face. “I’m going to organize for your memories to be restored as soon as we reach Torc.”
I gasp, attempting to step back, but he keeps his arms locked firmly around me. “You can’t demand that of me the minute we arrive. I … I need some time to think about it.” My brain is whirling at this unexpected development. I don’t want my memories back! I don’t want to remember how much I loved him. It’s not going to change a damn thing, except cause more heartache and pain. What good can come from that?
“What’s there to think about?” A harsh glaze sweeps over his face. “Regaining your memories will make this easier for you to handle. I thought you’d want that, unless you’re harboring some foolish notion of Logan coming to the rescue?”
“I came here voluntarily with you, Ax, but if I’d known you were going to force me into doing things against my will, then I’d never have agreed. The Ax I know wouldn’t do that to me.”
“You don’t know me!” he screams, and I flinch at the animosity lacing his words. “That’s the whole point.” His voice is softer again, and his erratic mood swings are starting to freak me out. He plants a kiss to my temple. “I don’t want to fight with you, and I don’t want to enforce my will on you unfairly, but I’ll do whatever’s in your best interests. Having access to your memories will help you settle into your new life with me; you’ll remember how happy we were, and you’ll know that we’re meant to be together. Trust me, baby, I’m going to look after you so well.” Before I can protest, he’s meshed his lips with mine.
I seriously think he’s unhinged. Either that or completely delusional. Perhaps he’s bordering on the verge of some psychotic break. Whatever the reason, it isn’t good. This is ten thousand times worse than I envisaged.
I return his kiss, hating every second of it. Not because it’s unpleasant. Far from it. Ax is a great kisser, and his lips have clearly left an invisible imprint behind because every time he’s kissed me, my body has zero issue with his touch. No, I hate it because it reeks of betrayal—it’s a dishonor on Logan as my soul mate, and a second deception of this man in front of me, the one currently claiming my mouth in gleeful hope. This broken soul whose heart I’ve already smashed to pieces. I’m a despicable person to put him through this again, but there’s no other way.
I’m doing all this as much for him, and I can only hope that when everything is out in the open, he’ll see it like that.
Nonetheless, I break away, not wanting to overdo it. I can’t readily fall into his arms or he’ll grow suspicious, especially after the last time. “Please, don’t,” I whisper, forcing my eyes away. “It’s too soon.”
“And that’s another reason why memory recollection is necessary. He won’t stand in our way when you’re mine again, Sadie.”
I perch on the arm of the couch. “Could you give me a little time to think about it? To prepare myself?”
He scrubs a hand over the light layer of stubble on his chin as he reflects on my request. “No.”
Expecting him to agree, I have my mouth already open with words of gratitude now lying idle on my tongue. “Wait? What?”
“No. I’m overruling you on this one. I’ll send word ahead now. As soon as we land on Torc, you’ll undergo memory restoration, and then you and I are going to get properly reacquainted.”
CHAPTER 5
Logan
I’m pacing the length of the cabin like a deranged lunatic. I can’t relax. I’m too freaking worried. “I should never have agreed to it.”
“Quit it already,” Haydn says, inserting himself in my path as the ship elevates off the ground. “You need to calm yourself down.”
“That’s easy for you to say!” I snap. “She’s not your Goddamned wife.”
“She’s my Goddamned queen, or as good as! I get it. But it’s done now, and we need to trust her.” He plants a meaty hand on my shoulder.
I stop pacing. “It’s not her I don’t trust.”
Haydn sighs. “I’m with you on that front. I don’t trust him either.”
“He’s definitely up to something. I didn’t buy that cool demeanor. This is the same guy who lied to my face about her for years.” I think back to that conversation Axton and I had at the Heir’s Summit one year, and it makes my blood boil every time I recall his deceitful words. He implied I was crazy for sensing he had taken something from me. I even asked him what it felt like to be in love! Stars! I’m such an idiot! Shaking my head at my past naiveté, I sigh deeply. I should’ve knocked him into next week while I had the chance.
And to top it all off, I’ve recently discovered he’s my brother.
Technically, he’s my half-brother in the same way Dante is. I used to think my father treated Dante
appallingly, but he’s treated Axton in an even worse manner—refusing to acknowledge his existence and tossing him aside like garbage. As much as I detest Axton, I can’t dismiss the unfairness of the situation. He’s lived a crappy life while I’ve been sheltered and groomed to take control of Saven as the rightful heir.
“Logan.” Haydn’s eyes glisten with concern. “I understand your worry, but you have to place it aside. We have pressing matters to deal with, and you need your head screwed on right. Your people need you.”
I drop down in a seat, idly drumming my fingers off the armrest. “I’m starting to believe my people couldn’t care less either way.”
Haydn sits down alongside me. I’m glad we’re alone. That Rylan and the Royal Guard are holed up in the main cabin and unable to witness the state I’m in. “Unburden yourself,” he says, leaning back in his chair.
“What if I’m not cut out for this, Haydn?” An unnerving feeling builds in my chest. “What if I’m not king material?”
“That’s what you’re thinking?” He flips incredulous eyes on me.
I nod. “I know I’ve been groomed for this my entire life, but I thought I’d have time to ease into the role. That my father would be by my side as I transitioned. That the Royal Advisory Council would support me every step of the way. Not that I’d be thrust into the role at quite possibly one of the worst times in our history, when the fabric of the galaxy is changing beyond recognition. I’ve worked with the RAC for years, and I never expected they’d oppose almost everything I wish to do. Reject my queen outright without listening to any of her merits. Stars”—I shake my head again, dragging my hands through my hair—“it seems like every possible obstacle I could dream up is blocking my path, and I don’t know how to remove them.”
I lean my elbows on my knees and bury my face in my hands as stress cords the muscles in my shoulders into knots.
“If anyone can deal with that, it’s you,” Haydn states in quiet confidence. “I have faith in you.”
I twist to face him. “Well, at least that makes one of us.”
“Logan.” His tone carries a chastising quality.
“Look at me, Haydn.” My self-disgust is obvious on my face. “Sitting here moaning and complaining. That’s not the actions of a king. Maybe they’re all right.” I straighten up in my chair. “Maybe I’m not cut out for this life.”
“I’m calling complete bullshit on that, Logan. You have settled things in Saven.” I open my mouth to protest, but he sends me a warning glare. “Albeit fragile, things are improving, and the fighting has stopped. That in itself is a major achievement. You helped bring a ceasefire in the galaxy, and steps are being taken toward peace. And you found the girl of your dreams, and she is going to make the perfect Saven queen. Everyone will see that.”
“I hope you are right, Haydn, but Sadie seems to be a major bone of contention. Two more RAC members threatened to resign over her yesterday.”
“What?” He slants disbelieving eyes my direction. “But you told Sadie th—”
“I’m concealing the truth from her, because she’s already so concerned over their lack of acceptance and what that means for me. I’ve been shielding it all from my mind so she doesn’t find out. I don’t want to hurt her or have her thinking up some other grand sacrificial action to try and fix this. But, honestly, Haydn?” I gulp as my somber gaze lands on my friend and bodyguard. “I don’t know if they’ll ever accept her.”
“Stars. I didn’t know it was so contentious.” He flexes his head from side to side. “If that happens, what’ll you do?”
My eyes drill into his with total seriousness. “I’ll abdicate.” His shocked expression says it all. “My life means nothing without her. Sadie is my forever, Haydn, and if the Saven people won’t warm to her as their queen, then they can find themselves a new king.”
At the crack of dawn the next morning, Haydn escorts me to Rindyar for a scheduled U.P.C. meeting. He guides me out through the hangar, along a dark corridor, and into the large auditorium where the newly formed Unified Planetary Commission awaits my arrival. He hasn’t said much since I dropped my bombshell on the ship last night, and I don’t blame him for that. The old me would never have contemplated walking away from my duty.
But I’m not the same man.
I’ve changed, and I will always prioritize the love of my life over everything. There’s no joy in being Saven king if Sadie isn’t by my side. If it comes down to it, the choice will be easy. I haven’t had to give it much thought. Of course, I can’t let Sadie know this because she would never allow it, which is why I’ve gone to such lengths to keep this inner monologue hidden from her. I hate lying to her, but I won’t burden her with additional worry.
The steady hum of voices grows louder as I stride with purpose toward the stage to take my place on the governing council. All member states are here today for the vote, and it’s a pivotal moment for the galaxy. This is the first big decision we will make together, and the impact isn’t lost on anyone.
King Coryn has made it here before me, and I slip into the seat beside him. “Are you holding up okay?” he asks in a quiet voice.
“As best as can be expected.”
“She’s going to be okay.”
“What? You have a crystal ball now?” He purses his lips and wisely says nothing. After a bit, I calm down. “Sorry, Navda. I don’t cope so well without her.”
And isn’t that the truth.
My inner walls are frozen without the tingling connection of our bond, and I miss the nurturing warmth of Sadie’s thoughts and feelings drifting amidst mine. I never imagined it’d feel so natural and so right to be intimately connected with another being in such a way. More than that, I feel empty and lifeless without her. Like I’m missing half of myself. My current mood stems from how disoriented I am without her here to balance me.
I’ve never managed separation well, even less so this time.
“You don’t need to explain that to me,” he replies quietly.
No, I don’t suppose I do. If things had gone differently for him, he would’ve Eterno bonded with my mother. In an alternate life, this honorable man could’ve been my father.
Life is strange.
Sensing eyes boring into my skull, I glance down the table, spotting Dali tilting forward in her seat to look at me. Once she was granted temporary guardianship of Amara and status as interim queen, my request to add her to the council was approved. I flash her a subtle nod, and she reciprocates. It’s been a few days since we last spoke, and I’m keen to see if she has any update on the Amaretti situation on Earth. They continue to hover above the human skies and patrol the streets, but apart from that, they’ve made no move or issued no demands.
It makes me extremely nervous.
As the last council member takes her seat, the room mutes, and King Coryn rises to address everyone.
He bows respectfully toward our colleagues seated around us and offers a solemn nod to the large audience. “Welcome, fellow members, and thank you for taking the time to attend this meeting today. I am happy to confirm that the Military Reserve mission to capture the defective faction was a success, and we are holding the six rebel heirs in custody.” Heads nod agreeably around the auditorium, and the mood is upbeat. Navda clears his throat loudly, reclaiming everyone’s attention. “Unfortunately, Dante Chandler managed to evade our soldiers and he is still at large.”
I’m already aware of this as Navda updated me last night. Disgruntled sentiments reverberate around the room with the news.
“How convenient,” Stateswoman Flippa from Rindyar comments, her words spiked with a sneer. Several others vocally shout out similar statements.
“I can assure you that neither King Logan nor I had any hand in that. We are as keen as you are to see Dante in custody. Out of everyone, he represents the greatest threat to us.”
He speaks no word of a lie. This is all personal for Dante, and we’re both most definitely at the top of his hit list. Navd
a doesn’t waver, and his relaxed, steady composure enhances my admiration for him. I know how much he’s hurting over Dante, and this situation isn’t easy, but he’s doing his job nonetheless.
“And what about the position on Torc?” she adds. “Has that been resolved?”
“There has been no further progress, but Griselda has stated again, through normal diplomatic channels, that she is not our enemy.”
I’m not buying that for a second, and judging by the look on some of my comrades’ faces, they share a similar view.
“Yet she won’t ally with us?” Stateswoman Flippa scoffs.
“She has asked for time to consider our proposition, and I can’t force her hand. Let’s not waste time arguing as we have a lot to cover off today. I would like to summon Commander Rox to address the council. He led the mission, and he’s been supervising the prisoner interrogations.” Navda clicks his fingers and the back doors open. Haydn’s father steps into the auditorium, approaching the bench with quiet self-assurance, as the king retakes his seat.
“Please take a seat, Commander Rox.” He sits down facing us. “Firstly, can you please explain how Dante Chandler managed to avoid capture?”
Haydn’s father speaks in a clear, loud voice. “The other defectors opened fire the minute we arrived at the compound. The front line held for the initial period, and my best guess is that the prince used that opportunity to flee. By the time the other heirs had surrendered and their troops were under armed guard, there was no trace of the prince, his advisor, or those errant members of the Saven Royal Guard who are still protecting him.”
“What have the prisoners said about his likely whereabouts?” Dali asks from her position on the tail end of the table.
“They claim to have no knowledge of his escape or where he is hiding now.” Commander Rox clears his throat. “But I happen to believe they are lying about that. I’m not sure how the prince assured their silence, but they know more than they’re letting on.”
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