They notice the object of my attention. “Your incendio gift isn’t going to help you this time,” the dark-haired one says arrogantly. “We’ve covered all the bases. You’re on your own here, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop this.” He taps a chunky finger against his chin. “Did you know there was a bounty on your head?”
The sandy-haired advisor throws his hands in the air, shaking his head over and over.
“Who wants me dead this time?” I deadpan.
“That’s for us to know and you to find out … in precisely ten minutes.” He grins. “Imagine our delight when we discovered we could get rid of you and get handsomely rewarded for it too?!”
“Bully for you,” I retort.
Logan’s panic is running at an unhealthy level. “I’ve had a thought and I need to try something. I’m disconnecting, but I’ll be back in a few. Don’t let them land. Use your gift. Protect yourself.”
“Who else is involved in this little scheme of yours or are you three working alone?” I pry.
The dark-haired advisor clearly loves the sound of his own voice as he readily rattles off four other names. I tuck the intel into a safe part of my mind. The sandy-haired advisor thumps the wall as he yells at the man to stop talking. A nervous tick has his eye twitching, and tiny beads of sweat form on his forehead. He doesn’t trust me, trust this, and he’s decidedly on edge.
And he has good reason to be.
The whirr of the engine changes to alto as the ship starts descending. My eyes dart to the far window, and a small planet comes into view alongside us. The ship continues lowering toward it, and that’s my cue to make my move.
A gradual smile forms on my lips as I blank my mind and focus on channeling my gift. The men don’t notice; they are too busy arguing again. The cuff bands explode, flying through the air, as flames jump at my wrists. Laser beams stream out of my eyes, making light work of the steel restraint around my midriff. I swing my legs off the bed, as the men spin around, staring at me through wide, shocked eyes. They reach for their weapons, but they are already too late. Flicking my wrist up, I emit a steady stream of fire, thrusting it forward with force as I obliterate them into nothing.
It scares me a little that I’m getting so accustomed to it, but I can’t dwell on that now.
Power tingles in my fingers as a shrill alarm rings out from the cockpit. I step through the dust, opening the door, as the ship buckles and sways. I throw out my hands to steady myself. A terrified Saven pilot cowers in his seat, holding his hands up in surrender. I’m thrust forward as the ship violently plunges downward. My chest slams against the singed control panel, and immediate shooting pains rip through me.
The pilot is screaming now, holding his hands to his ears. I yell at him, clutching onto the panel as the ship starts rattling noisily from side to side. My stomach churns and nausea competes with adrenaline as my body reacts to the threat. “Do something!” I roar at him.
He gestures toward the control panel. “I can’t! All the controls are destroyed.” He starts sobbing as I notice the blackened hole in the wall where my searing beam breached the cockpit. Dammit! I hadn’t concentrated properly, and now we’re both going to pay the price.
The ship lurches as it breaks through the planet’s atmosphere at too-high speeds, hurtling toward the ground at high velocity. My hair swirls around my face, and my skin wobbles as I desperately try to hang on to the charred control panel to stop myself from falling face forward against the window. Pops go off in my ears, and darting pains in my skull make thinking logically an almost insurmountable task. I grapple for a solution. The pilot is clinging to his harness, chanting some unknown mantra over and over, his eyes closed as tears spill down his face. “Comport!” I roar. “Do you have your comport?!”
His mantra doesn’t stop, and he keeps chanting. “Hey! Listen to me!” I try to edge along the space toward him, clawing at the scorched control panel as I inch slowly in his direction. “Have you got a comport?”
Outside, bits start flying off the side of the ship, some of them slapping against the windscreen, and tiny cracks form in the glass. A loud keening sound emits from the main cabin area, and the door to the cockpit flies inward as a massive gust of wind rips through the ship. The back end has been ripped away, and my body starts lifting, as if invisible hands are tugging on my legs. I hold onto the remnants of the control desk, digging my nails in and drawing blood, working frantically to resist the pull, but I’m fighting a losing battle.
Holy crap. Things are about to turn nasty.
I shut my eyes, preparing for the inevitable, as my fingers start sliding loose.
Firm arms lock around me, and then I’m hurtling through an eerie black tunnel as I’m teleported away.
We crash to the ground, and I drop to my knees, emptying the contents of my stomach onto the forest floor. Hysterical sobbing wafts through the air and I look up. Haydn is struggling to keep the traumatized pilot upright. I scan the environment, welcoming the familiar scents and sounds of the forest surrounding the palace. Air whooshes out of my mouth in grateful relief. Logan lifts me up, reeling me into his arms. His body shakes as he hugs me to him. “Enough. I can’t take any more of this. I’m abdicating the throne. They don’t want us here, and I’m finished. All I’ve done is draw a target on your head. I’m so sorry, Angel.”
He’s on the verge of a full-scale meltdown. I cup his face tenderly. “Haydn, I’m taking Logan to our room.”
“Look after him, and let me know if you need me.”
“Actually, there is something. Can you send a scouting party to that planet immediately? Apparently, there’s a bounty on my head, and they were taking me there to make good on it. We need to find out who’s after me now.”
“I’m on it. Don’t worry, just take care of him.”
Logan is wrapped around me, crying, with his head buried in my shoulder. I curl my fingers around his wrists, jabbing in the coordinates on his comport as I squeeze my eyes shut, and we drift through darkness again.
We land noisily on the floor of our apartment. Logan lifts me onto his lap, snaking his arms around me, clutching me possessively as he continues to fall apart. “Let it all out, baby.” I run my hand up and down his back as I kiss the top of his head repeatedly. His tormented cries are killing me, but his grief and fear warrants an outlet, and I want him to unburden himself.
After a while, his sobs ease off, and I run my fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek.
“Sorry,” he whispers, peering into my eyes with transparent anguish. I rub my thumb across his damp skin. “Nothing else matters to me but you, Sadie, and they won’t stop trying to hurt you, trying to take you away from me. Let’s run away, go somewhere no one can find us. Navda and I had previously discussed this, and I have the coordinates to a place. We can go tonight. Leave here and never come back. Make our own life away from all the corruption and the political wrangling, all the fighting.”
“Oh, Logan.” I press my lips softly to his. “That sounds so tempting, and I’d love nothing better than to hide away with you, just the two of us alone with no interruptions, but we can’t do that. There are too many people relying on us. We can’t abandon them. Abandon our friends. That’s not who we are.”
He laces his fingers in mine as he draws a deep breath. “I don’t think I can do this anymore. It hurts too much.”
“I know, baby. I know it does, but you’re strong, you can get through this, and you’re not alone.” I tilt his chin up. “You have me. And no one is going to take me away from you. I promise.”
“You’re the strong one, not me. I’m drowning in grief and worry, and I can’t see a clear path. I can’t be the savior everyone thinks I am. I’m too weak.” A shaky smile graces his lips. “But not you. You’ve been through so much, but you get back up. Every time. You don’t let it drag you down like I do. I’ve never been more proud of you, Sadie, and I want to be as strong as you, but I don’t think I am.”
I kiss him again. Just o
nce. A feather-light brush of my lips against his. “If I’m strong it’s because your love and your trust gives me the strength to keep battling. To fight against all the injustice in both our worlds. I am so far removed from that girl you first met, and a lot of that is down to you, but there are parts of that Sadie which still reside inside me. Traits I used to think of as a weakness have turned out to be my strength. I feel so much, too, Logan.” I place my hand across my heart, fighting tears. “If you think I’m not wounded, think again. Every time someone dies because of me, another little piece chips off my soul. I’m not comfortable with all the killing. Even less so with the fact that sometimes it seems to come all too easily to me.”
I draw a sharp breath, feeling shaky after articulating my worst inner fears. “Sometimes, I don’t even feel like me, and that’s the scariest sensation of all.” I straighten my shoulders and tell myself to get a grip. “But if I let it all out, it would kill me inside, and I’d be of no support to you or our friends or the stars, and then what’s the whole point of it all?” I stare off into space, trying to structure my thoughts so I can properly explain.
“You know I used to hate my life. Wish for a better one. A life where I could make a difference. Where I was free to make my own choices, to design my own future.” I cup his face, smiling. “I have that life now. It’s not perfect, it’s not all of my choosing, and there has been far too much pain along the way, but I don’t regret anything I’ve done. I wish certain things had played out differently, that we hadn’t lost so many loved ones, but we did and we’re here, and we owe it to their memories to keep fighting. To never give up. You are all I need. As long as I have you, as long as you are by my side, fighting with me, holding my hand, loving me, supporting me, then I have the only life I want. I trust in us. I trust in you.” I press a firm kiss to his forehead. “Things will get better. Perhaps they’ll get worse again before that happens, but I firmly believe things will get better. Can you trust in that?”
Tears roll relentlessly down his face, and I love that he’s not afraid to show his vulnerability. “You never stop amazing me, reminding me how lucky I am to have you in my life. How do you do it? Control the grief?”
I smooth my fingers across his face. “I’ve had two lifetimes to learn how to deflect unpleasant things. Switching off isn’t all that difficult for me. It’s always been a key survival tool. In fact, it’s been essential to tap into my incendio gift. I was training myself before I even knew what my destiny was.” I tilt my head to the side, lost in thought, the truth of that statement only resonating with me now.
I look down at his beautiful face, shining with so much love and admiration for me, and I know that every struggle I’ve faced up to this point has all been worth it, because it led me to him. “It’s not very healthy, on one level, but I block it out so I can get up every day and do the things that I need to do. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss Ella or Jenna or Neve or King Coryn. That I don’t have moments where the grief assaults me, unexpectedly, almost knocking me off my feet. Because I have those moments, times where I want to curl into a ball and die, but I push those sentiments aside. I lock them away for dealing with at a later stage, and I will give into my grief when all of this is over. When there is proper time to mourn. But right now, our best way of honoring our loved ones is to keep battling, and that is what you and I must do.”
I pin him with a serious look. “Your people need you, Logan. Yes, there are dissenters—we already knew that, but you’re weeding them out, and once the conscience development program gets underway, things will be different. The Saven will think and feel differently about everything. They’ll see what you’re trying to achieve and support you. I feel it in my bones.” I press a soft kiss to his cheek. “We need to stay on track—this will work.”
His mouth collides with mine, while his hands land on my hips, turning me around until I’m straddling him. “I love you so much, Sadie.” And then he stops talking, preferring to show me the extent of his love.
We wake the next morning, naked and entangled in one another, still lying on the living room floor. The quilt from our bed is thrown over us, so I know Logan must’ve gotten up at some point during the night.
“Good morning, My Queen,” he says in a sleep-drenched voice. “Did you sleep well?”
I stretch my arms out over my head, feeling a delicious soreness in my limbs. “When you eventually let me sleep, you mean?” I tease, propping up on my side as I turn to face him.
“Are you complaining?” He reaches out, smoothing my knotty hair back off my face.
“I’ll never complain about how well you love me, Logan.” His expansive smile reaches deep inside me, flooding me with serenity. “How are you feeling today?” I palm his face lightly and he turns into me, planting a feather soft kiss on my skin.
“Good. You make everything bearable. You’re my strength, too.”
I bump my nose against his. “We’re good together, on every level.” I fight a grin as an idea comes to me. “We need to pinky swear.”
His eyes pop wide as he choke-laughs. “Okay. I’ll go along with this.”
He offers his pinky, and I loop mine in his as my lips spread into a huge smile. “I’ll pull you up on days when you need lifting, and you’ll lift me out of the dark place in my head when I’m feeling down.”
“Agreed.” He kisses me hungrily, and I moan into his mouth. “I’d like to add a caveat,” he says against my lips. “We’ll always be open and honest with our feelings, even if what we’re feeling is the most depressing thing in the universe, because we can’t prop each other up if we’re not completely transparent. No using our bond to block our connection out of protection or fear. Everything out in the open.”
“I like that caveat.” My hands slide down his chiseled abs. Leaning in, he captures my mouth as we pick up where we left off in the middle of the night.
We are on the ship, en route to the U.P.C. meeting, both listening carefully while Haydn updates us. “The bounty hunter was gone by the time we got there, and whoever it is, he or she knows how to cover their tracks. There was nothing left behind that we could trace. Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Haydn. It’s hardly your fault.” I try my best to reassure him, but Haydn takes his protective duty very seriously, and I know he’s blaming himself for all this.
“Can we put the word out, unofficially?” Logan asks. “Someone out there has contacts who can give us what we need.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
I take a seat in the visitor’s section alongside Haydn and Win watching as Logan steps up onto the podium, taking a seat beside a man who looks remarkably like King Coryn. “That’s his brother?” I ask Haydn, gesticulating toward the raised dais where the governing council is seated. “The new King Coryn?”
“Yeah. He may look like him, but their outlooks are rumored to be complete polar opposites.”
“Well, that can’t be good,” I surmise, scanning the vast auditorium as representatives from a host of alien nations take their seats.
“It’s not,” Win says, surprising me by voluntarily joining the conversation. His eyes are glued to Dali as she rises from her position at the tail end of the table, making a beeline for Logan. They talk for several minutes, no doubt running over details one final time.
Surreptitiously, I watch Win out of the corner of my eye. His gaze never strays from Dali’s, his eyes following her as she makes her way back to her seat.
“What?” he asks, without even looking in my direction.
“Huh?” I scratch the back of my head.
Once Dali has reclaimed her seat, he turns to face me. “You want to ask me something, so ask me.”
I suck on the inside of my cheek as I determine how best to approach this. I don’t want to betray Dali’s confidence or interfere in something that is none of my business, but Win is an enigma I wouldn’t mind figuring out. “I think you and I are a lot alike, you know.” I drill him with earne
st eyes, and he watches me intently. “When I found out that Logan was Saven royalty, my initial thought was that I wasn’t good enough for him, quickly followed by a need to ensure my presence in his life didn’t add to his burden.” I skim over his face, looking for some sign of encouragement, but his face is an impressive blank canvas.
I continue nonetheless. “My whole life I’ve had to hide who I am. Then I discover others had hidden another part of me, erased this complete other lifetime, and it would’ve been as easy as breathing to turn introspective, to disguise my emotions and pretend that it wasn’t hurting me. There are things I’ve had to force aside, but I do what I have to do for Logan because I love him so much.”
I look down at Logan, and his eyes lift to mine at that exact moment. I smile at him while I continue talking. “It took me a long time to properly share my heart with Logan because I let so much baggage get in the way.” I face Win head-on. “If I had a do-over, I would tell him I loved him from the very first minute my heart let him lay claim.”
Win’s chest heaves as his concentrated gaze locks on mine.
“You need to tell her what’s in your heart. She loves you. She needs you.” His Adam’s apple jumps in his throat as he looks away.
“Excuse me,” a confident female voice says at the far end of the row, and I lean forward in my seat. Izzy grins as she makes her way toward us. Now that Ax is in charge of Torc, he has pledged his commitment to the U.P.C. and earned his rightful place at the delegation sessions.
Haydn’s eyes narrow and I elbow him in the ribs. “Cut that out. She’s one of my best friends, and there is no reason to be mistrustful of her, at all.”
He moves down one space, allowing Izzy to claim the seat beside me. I hug her fiercely, so many memories of us flooding my mind. “It’s so good to see you,” she says.
“You too. I’ve missed you.” I lean into her ear. “How is he?”
Her gaze travels across the auditorium, and I chase after her with my eyes, spotting Ax immediately. He’s talking with one of the High Council members, but his gaze roams the room, as if he senses eyes on him. Spotting us, he offers me a tentative wave, and I wave back. Haydn’s displeasure is obvious in the way he stares at me, shaking his head in disgust.
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