by Sharan Daire
“It’s not the house,” I whispered softly, clutching the napkin in my lap. “It’s me. I don’t belong in this life.”
“Bullshit. Look at me, Shelby. What am I wearing, for fuck’s sake?”
I lifted my gaze to his chest, unable to meet his eyes yet. His faded T-shirt was a soft blue with “U.S. Marines” in peeling, cracked gold letters. He snagged my hand under the table and firmly planted my fingers on his denim-clad thigh. I could feel the frayed fibers beneath my fingertips. The heat of his skin barely covered by a few threads.
“I don’t do pretentious shit unless Everett says I don’t have a choice. I don’t care about how the table is set, or whether there’s dog hair on the furniture, or chocolate milk on the floor, or grape juice on the marble. I don’t care if the kids break every window in the house, and the dog shits on the carpet. Have more babies. Eat with your hands. Get more dogs. A fucking cat. I don’t care. I built this fucking house for you.”
Gulp. Rock hard muscle flexed as he leaned back in his chair. I closed my eyes a moment, letting his words sink into me.
“What are you really scared of?” Everett asked softly, picking up on our conversation.
Trembling, I tried to find the words. It felt like I had to take a crowbar to my chest, prying open my ribs to get to my poor, battered heart. The heart of a woman who’d looked the other way for the sake of the family. Who’d silenced her own needs, desires, and dreams to keep the peace. Who’d skimped on food or clothes for herself to make sure her kids didn’t know the lack. Who picked up an extra shift at work because the rent was due, only to come home and find the babies crying with hunger, the house a mess, and a husband snoring in his easy chair with empty beer cans all around him.
“If you know me,” I whispered brokenly, “Really know me. You won’t like me at all.”
His arm came around my shoulders. Chris squeezed my fingers in a painful grip. But it was Kaleb who said the words that stole my breath. “We see you. We know you. And that makes us love you all the more.”
26
Derek
Shattered. That was the only word to describe the look in her eyes. Tears dripped down her cheeks. Her heart laid bare. That she could even think we wouldn’t see all the struggles she’d overcome, and appreciate her all the more? That we wouldn’t fucking like her? God. I couldn’t even comprehend it.
“Mommy, don’t cry.” Allie sniffled, tugging on my sleeve. “Make her feel better.”
Abso-fucking-lutely. I stood, went around the table, and dropped down on one knee beside Shelby’s chair between her and Chris. “Sugar, we don’t just like you. We like you so much that pretty soon we’ll be asking if you’ll marry one of us so we know you’re ours forever. And don’t say we don’t know you, because it’s impossible to look at your face and not see your heart shining in your eyes.”
She spluttered. “Marriage? You just met me. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I built this house on the slim chance that we’d someday find you, Shelby,” Chris drawled out, for once, reining in his language in front of the kids. The strain must have been incredible. “You don’t think we already have engagement rings picked out for when we find the woman of our dreams? Show her.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. Opened the leather up on the table so she could watch. On the inside, where dollar bills were supposed to go, I pulled out a small black velvet pouch and pushed it to her. “After we took you to Sugarfoot the very first night, I went straight home and pulled it out of the safe so I’d have it on me, ready to give to you when the time was right.”
Kaleb laid a black ring case on the table in front of him. Everett slid a heavy gold ring lined with diamonds off his pinky finger and laid it beside my pouch. “I choose to wear mine, so it’d help me keep the hope that someday we’d find you.”
Wide eyed, she looked at each one and then raised her gaze to Chris. He reached into his shirt and pulled his dog tags over his head. He tossed the chain down on the table before her.
Lying on top of his dog tag was the biggest diamond ring I personally had ever seen. Not that I would expect anything less than spectacular from him.
“Oh my god. You’re all crazy.”
“When you know, you know,” Chris replied. “I don’t give a—”
I cleared my throat and pointedly looked at the kids.
He grimaced. “I don’t care if you’re an Anderson or Harris, but I hope that you’ll still wear my ring with theirs. Even if it’s just a necklace around that lovely throat.”
I gritted my teeth, fighting down the urge to thump some sense into him, even if he flattened me for the fucking audacity. Even now, when he was the one who’d made all of this possible, he’d deny himself the luxury of having Shelby as his wife. Even when he was the obvious choice. We couldn’t all marry her, sadly, but he could provide the most security for her future and any children we might have.
It had nothing to do with contracts and prenups or fear that she’d take him to the cleaners if they ever got divorced. No. If I knew him, and I did, he’d already had Everett draw up contingency contracts to leave every penny that he hadn’t already invested in our business to her, plus his share of the business itself. It was the same old fear Chris had since he was a kid, killing himself to impress a father who couldn’t be bothered to give a damn about his own son.
Chris Blakely, the richest man in the state, the whole country for all I knew, who’d faithfully served his country for three tours that had nearly cost him his life numerous times, still didn’t think he was good enough to be loved. By anyone.
Only Shelby had any hope of changing his mind about that, though there were a couple of ways I could help. I put the pouch back into my wallet without showing her the ring. Kaleb shoved his box back into his pocket. Everett slid his ring back on his finger.
Only Chris’ ring still glittered like a giant piece of crystalline ice on the table.
“If you kids are done eating, why don’t Kaleb and I take you swimming?” I looked over at Liam and Allie. “The shopping fairy sent some swimsuits for you to try. They’re in the pool area. Kaleb will show you where.”
Shelby pushed away from the table, even though she’d only eaten half her salad. “I’ll help you get changed.” Her gaze lingered on Chris a moment, and then Everett. She was one smart cookie. It was clear what we were up to. So it didn’t surprise me when she added, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
They headed toward the pool, leaving me alone with Chris and Everett. As I stood, I met Chris’ gaze. Only someone who knew him as well as I did would be able to tell that he was fucking terrified.
We had the woman of our dreams in the palace he’d built for her. We’d shown her our intentions. She clearly wanted Everett, and without too much persuasion, I had a feeling he’d be able to convince her to try out that brand new bed. With Chris watching on the sidelines.
Exactly what he wanted, and feared, the most.
I’d never told the others what had brought him to the brink of killing himself out of desperation. It wasn’t my story to tell, and even I didn’t know the whole story. Only that he’d been consumed with guilt and ravaged with self-disgust. After years of therapy and support, he’d gotten his life back for the most part, but the demons still taunted him.
Especially at night. Or anytime he relaxed the fierce grip he kept on his own needs. I’d promised him that we’d always have his back. One of us would always be with him if he needed some female companionship. Everett actually enjoyed being an exhibitionist for our friend, and I was the muscle in the shadows. The bodyguard if things got out of hand.
In the few times we’d managed to arrange a scene for Chris, he’d never lost his cool. His control had never cracked. He’d never even laid so much as a finger on any of our partners. He’d never needed me to be that bouncer, dragging him out of the room and keeping the other people safe.
But he still didn’t trust himself. Especially with Shelby.
Which was exactly why he needed to figure things out. He needed to trust himself as much as I trusted him. She deserved a complete relationship with him, not a sideline lover who could only worship her with his gaze.
I dropped a hand on his shoulder. “You’ve got this.”
He clamped his hand over mine, his eyes raging with those inner demons. “I’d rather you be there.”
I squeezed him harder, giving his shoulder a shake. “Everett’s enough. You don’t need me.”
“He doesn’t fucking trust me. I need you there.”
“Bullshit,” Everett retorted. “I trust you fine.”
“What about the other day, then?”
Everett grimaced and set down his fork. “I was wrong, and I apologize. I leapt to the conclusion that Shelby was in trouble because you were dragging her down the hallway. She couldn’t even walk in those heels you put her in, for fuck’s sake. She could have broken her damned neck. She told me she was fine, and I believe her. She wasn’t scared. You didn’t hurt her. I don’t think you will hurt her. Ever.”
“Fine. I won’t even touch a single hair on her head.”
I shoved him so hard the chair tipped over backwards. Yet even sitting in a falling chair, he managed to flip me on my back across the room and roll to his feet like a fucking cat.
He roared, “What the hell was that for, motherfucker?”
My ribs ached enough that it hurt to draw a breath, but I still managed to laugh. “You’re being deliberately obtuse.”
He offered a hand, and I seized it, letting him pull me back to my feet. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Everett let out a low whistle. “How does he do that?”
Chris scoffed. “Do you even know what a Marine is capable of? That was nothing.”
Still gripping his hand, I pulled him closer, squeezing his fingers with all my force. Toe to toe. Chest to chest. Chin to belligerent chin. “You will touch her. You will make love to her. We trust you without question.”
He started to open his mouth to argue with me, so I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him up slightly on his toes. “Do you really want to test me?”
Smiling, I softened my grip. “My point exactly.”
Chris was a man of few words. He got my point. If he’d really wanted to hurt me, I wouldn’t have been able to get up. That was how good he was. If he wasn’t fully capable of controlling himself for the sake of his friends, then he wouldn’t stand here, letting me manhandle him when we all knew he could crack my skull open and drop me to the floor without even breaking a sweat.
He reached up and grabbed the back of my neck, holding on to me for dear life. “Are you sure? If I fuck this up…”
I dropped my forehead to his. “We’ve got your six. Always. You and me, Everett and Kaleb. We’re brothers. Family. Now let Shelby help you too.” His body vibrated with tension, doubt straining through him. I didn’t think I’d managed to push him over the wall of self-defense he’d built yet. Even though it’d turned into a nightmare prison from which he couldn’t escape. “What did you tell me when you built this house for her?”
“When she’s the one, we’ll know,” he rasped.
“I know. Now it’s time for you to know.”
“I do. I don’t have to—”
“Yes, you do. You need to trust yourself as much as we trust you. Or this fucking house and all your money and the photographs you’ve taken of her are just worthless rocks, sticks, and pieces of paper. Trust her. Trust yourself.”
SHELBY
The air in the dining room was oddly charged and tense when I came back. I almost turned on my heel and crept back to the pool before they’d noticed my return, but Chris’ head whipped around, his dark eyes nailing me to the wall.
“You need to eat,” he said gruffly. “I don’t want my model getting too scrawny.”
Everett stood, pulling my chair out for me. While I’d been helping Allie into her new swimsuit, everyone’s plates had been cleared except for mine. However, I didn’t have to worry about trying to eat while they watched me, because servers came back in from the kitchen with steaming bowls of soup.
I hadn’t realized there were more courses. They’d actually been waiting on me to come back before continuing their lunch.
A suave, easy companion, Everett carried the conversation rather than letting us sit in awkward silence. “I’ve been trying to convince Chris to open a day spa here at the lodge. What did you think of the work Sagarika and the others did?”
I swallowed a bite of delicious lentil soup. “They were great. They didn’t make me feel badly at all.”
Chris’ spoon clattered too hard on the bowl. “Why would a pedicure or makeup session make you feel badly?”
I took another bite before answering. “I guess I was always afraid that they’d take one look at me and think I was gross. I’ve never done anything like that before, so I didn’t know how they’d react to…” Nasty. “Natural feet.”
He slammed his spoon down on the table. “No one would ever fucking dare. Not in my presence. Not in my lodge. Not to you, or anyone else for that matter.”
“They were super nice,” I said hurriedly, not wanting to get them in trouble. They probably needed the job here as much as I did. “They took great care of me. But I didn’t expect it.”
“Everyone should expect great care when they go for a service,” Everett said slowly. “Anywhere, but especially here. We pride ourselves on exceptional service at Little Cypress.”
I nodded, taking another bite of soup. “I’m sure they do. But most people can’t afford the service in the first place. At least, no one I knew did fancy stuff like manicures. You don’t work for a couple of bucks an hour and a fifty-cent tip, and then go get a manicure.”
“You know, you’re right,” Everett said softly, picking up his phone. “I don’t remember Eleanor ever going to get her nails done.” He typed something into his phone and then set it aside, giving me a brilliant smile. “Thanks for giving me the idea for the perfect birthday gift for her next month. I’ll get her the complete works and set it up on a monthly basis.”
He told me more about the spa and the different stations he wanted to provide while we finished our soups and moved on to dessert. Chris really wasn’t kidding when he said he didn’t want me to get scrawny. The slice of cheesecake could have fed me and both my kids with plenty left over for breakfast the next day.
“Would it be too rude to ask about the kids’ father?” Everett asked.
I doodled the tip of the fork in the raspberry swirl. I’d been expecting their questions. It was inevitable, I supposed. Dating a new man, or men, in this case, meant the past had to come up. They’d want to know, if for no other reason than to not make the same mistakes.
They said they liked me. They saw me for who I really was. This would be a good test of their affection. My voice thickened slightly as I asked, “What do you want to know?”
“Did you marry him? How did you meet?”
I nodded. “I met him at one of Mom’s friend’s parties in California. She liked to say she was friends with celebrities, but if they were truly famous, I never heard of them. Robert was the son of one of those friends. We dated a while, pretty casually at first. Usually just hanging out when we saw each other at these parties. Mom moved on to a new boyfriend, and I happened to run into Rob on the street one day. It just kind of happened.”
“Did you love him?”
I set the fork down and let my mouth twist into a sad smile. “As much as any twenty-year-old kid can. He liked his dad’s party scene, but he wasn’t all that great at being an adult. When I got pregnant with Liam, we got married, but from the beginning, he didn’t really want that sort of life. He had some kind of falling out with his father, not sure why. He never told me. He had to get a job for the first time in his life. We had rent to pay. Diapers to buy. It went downhill from there.”
“You said he got a job. What’d he do?”
“Oh, all kinds of things. One of his dad’s friends got him a job at a car dealership. He worked there for six months or so and sold one car. He got an office job at an insurance company. Hated it. He’d already dropped out of college before we married, so his options were pretty limited. He sold furniture a while. Other stuff like that. It never made much.”
Chris let out a sour grunt. “Sounds like he changed jobs as often as he changed his underwear.”
I laughed wryly. “Just about. I didn’t have a lot of options either. I got a job at the diner on the corner because it was close to our apartment at the time. Once you get into that kind of job, it’s really hard to get out. I never had time to do anything else, to get a new skill or take a class. Then Allie came.”
My throat ached, holding back all the emotions that bubbled up inside me. I took a drink and my hand trembled a little. I loved my baby girl more than anything in the world, but before I’d found out I was pregnant with her, I had a bag stashed under Liam’s bed. I’d planned to leave Rob and never look back.
But another baby complicated things. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to work if I was heavy with child. I certainly couldn’t afford any kind of daycare or babysitting for two children on my own. Mom had already died. I couldn’t stay with her for a while to get back on my feet. Rob had started borrowing the car I’d inherited from her to go job hunting, so he said.
I didn’t have any way to escape. So I’d stayed. I’d endured. As long as possible.
“Did he hurt you?” Chris’ voice was soft, but echoed with undertones of pure malice.
I shrugged, clutching my hands in my lap to hide my trembling fingers. “He was mean, but he never beat me, if that’s what you mean.”
“No. That’s not what I meant at all. Words hurt more than fists sometimes.”