by Sharan Daire
She twisted and shifted against me, trying to get more of my dick inside her. To get some friction. Movement. Pressure. It took all my willpower to keep her locked against me, rather than shove her face down into the sheets so I could pound her into oblivion.
Yet Chris still sat in that fucking chair, even with its alarming wobble. Though he did have her panties clenched in his hand, wrapped around his dick.
Gripping her upper shoulder in my jaws, I rubbed my thumb over her lips again. I met his gaze, eyebrow arched, daring him to object as she wrapped those luscious lips around me. To think about what else she could have in her mouth that would be a hell of a lot more interesting than my thumb.
He couldn’t tear his gaze away. We had him. I knew it. We just needed to reel him in.
I adjusted my hand so I could rub her clit. Her body jolted, pure electricity pouring through her. Me. And him. If he would only let himself feel it.
“Please,” she moaned around my thumb, but it was Chris she looked at.
That single word absolutely demolished him. One moment he was frozen in the splintered chair. The next, he stood before us at the edge of the bed, chest heaving. Before he could change his mind and retreat, I leaned her forward, letting her seize her target. She seized his dick in one hand and his hip in the other to steady herself, while still pushing back against me, desperate to get me deeper, harder inside her.
Chris’ hands hovered in the air, his face twisted as he fought the war to touch her or not. Her lips brushed his cock head and his entire body shuddered. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t help her, either. Opening her lips wide, she took him in her mouth. She moaned again, and his hands twitched toward her head. Almost touching her. So close.
“The least you could do while she’s sucking your dick is support her head to relieve the strain on her neck.”
Grudgingly—as if he would only touch her to make sure she wasn’t uncomfortable—he reached out and cupped her chin.
One measly hand. Not enough by a long stretch.
Releasing my own pent-up need, I gripped her hips in both hands and shoved deep, grinding my pelvis against her ass. Her back arched, lifting her head, forcing him to steady her with his other hand too. I dragged my dick out, making her writhe between us. Hopefully her lips tightened on his dick, maybe her teeth. He’d love the implicit threat. Another hard thrust, pushing her harder onto his dick. Giving him that movement. Making him help support her, so that she hung between the two of us.
He fisted a hand in her hair, tugging her head back so he could see her eyes. Her moans deepened, but she hadn’t climaxed yet. I should have asked her to sit on my face first. Chris would have loved that as much as me. Next time, I promised myself, gritting my teeth as my burning need rose to a fevered pitch. Reaching around her hip, I ground the heel of my palm on her clit.
Shuddering, she hung between us. Connecting us, as we’d never been able to be before. Fire exploded at the base of my spine, tearing through my body. But I still saw the look in Chris’ eyes as his head fell back, body pumping with release.
Awe. Overwhelming, soul-shattering awe. At this woman who’d fallen from heaven and landed in a broke-down car outside our lodge.
28
Shelby
I’d never been particularly religious, but there was something sinfully decadent about kissing my kids goodbye for their sleepover, dressed only in a silvery silk robe. Especially with a delicious post-coital glow.
Not even the smug look of masculine satisfaction on Derek’s face while Everett whispered to him—no doubt filling him in on all the juicy details—could disrupt my afterglow.
But Chris’ absence as we sat down to a casual dinner certainly put a damper on my mood. He’d practically run from the bedroom when we finished without so much as a “thank you, ma’am.” At first, I’d felt unadulterated glee that I’d gotten him to break his rule about letting me touch him. But the longer he was gone, the more I worried that we’d gone too far. Especially as the night wore on and he never returned.
The guys must have decided we were having a grown-up slumber party. The twins wore sweats, and Everett wore loose Asian-style lounge pants. None of them had on shirts, which was definitely a huge distraction. I could get lost for days trying to count all the six packs of abs surrounding me.
We piled on the giant sectional for a movie with food sent over from the lodge’s kitchen.
“Shark trays,” Kaleb said. “My favorite.”
“I beg your fucking pardon!” Everett scowled at him. “Did you perhaps mean charcuterie boards?”
“Same thing.”
They play-argued back and forth, trying to make me laugh. Fighting over who got to sit by me—Derek had already claimed his spot on my right. A brutal game of rock-paper-scissors had Everett sitting on the couch on my left. Though instead of pouting about his loss, Kaleb dropped down on the floor and pulled my feet up into his lap, so he was still touching me.
They definitely lightened my mood, but their camaraderie was bittersweet. I couldn’t stop worrying about Chris.
“He’s fine,” Derek murmured against my ear, his arm around my shoulders.
Curled up against his side, I looked over at Everett. “Did we take it too far? What if he’s mad at me?”
“Baby, he’s not mad at you. If anything, he’s mad at himself.”
“That’s not any better.” I sighed, picking at the food Kaleb had put on my plate. Squares of neatly trimmed bread with cheese spread, baby sweet pickles, several kinds of olives. I’d taken a few bites and they all tasted as expensive as this house. I hated to waste it, but I really didn’t have much of an appetite.
Derek leaned forward, lifting his arm from around me so he could pour me a glass of wine. “Here. Drink this, and by the time you’re finished with it, I’ll have him up here, alright? If not, go ahead and take a nice long soak in the tub. We’ll be along shortly.”
“You know where he is?”
He nodded as he stood. “Pretty sure. He just needs a little time to process everything. He’s raw, you know? Exposed. He doesn’t like to be vulnerable. I’ll go talk to him.”
Kaleb slid into his brother’s vacated spot, and I tried not to worry. But the sick, churning feeling in my stomach didn’t go away. Chris had been very clear with his boundaries, and we’d disregarded them. Not directly, but we’d lured him into crossing his own line.
Had I overstepped? Lost in the moment, had I used his own friend against him?
Everett reached over and laced his fingers with mine. “I’ve known him all my life. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt him or put him in a bad place.”
“I know. I just feel like we peer-pressured him into giving in. God. What if he truly feels violated?”
Kaleb scoffed. “Nobody makes Chris do anything he doesn’t want to do. He’s a Marine, remember?”
“When you took the kids to the pool,” Everett said. “He and D had a discussion that ended with both of them on the floor.”
My head jerked around. “What?”
“Not like that,” Everett said quickly. “It wasn’t a fight. It was more of a demonstration. Derek told him he was being deliberately obtuse and shoved him. I saw the whole thing in slow motion. Chris’ chair started to tip backwards, and he somehow grabbed D’s wrist and flipped him head over heels. D laughed.”
Stunned, I tried not to have a freak-out moment. I’d been so glib about having four boyfriends at the same time, but what if I was the reason that broke these lifetime friends apart? I couldn’t live with myself if Chris and Derek split up because of me.
But Derek had immediately volunteered to go find and talk to him. Surely they weren’t having a disagreement, then. “Why would they do that? Was it because of me?”
“Not at all. Derek wanted to prove a point.”
“Never fuck with a Marine,” Kaleb said, holding up a finger, followed by a second. “Or Chris can flatten mountains with his pinkie finger?”
&nb
sp; Everett laughed. “Both, definitely. But D’s point was that even flattened, he wasn’t hurt. Chris could trust himself not to hurt any of us, but especially you.”
“He used to blow shit up for fun over crazy distances using one of his sniper rifles,” Kaleb said. “Remember those deer we saw this morning? He could probably drop one from the upstairs deck despite the trees and hills in between.”
Despite my upset about them potentially fighting, I had to admit that I’d love to see the two of them manhandling each other like that. All in good fun. Preferably shirtless. Maybe pants-less too. Oh my.
CHRIS
I slammed my fists into the heavy bag as hard and fast as I could. Jab, jab, upper-cut. Jab, jab, cross. Slammed my knee up with enough force to break a bone. Sweat dripped off me. My muscles burned, each breath a fiery wheeze.
But I still couldn’t get the vision out of my head.
Shelby looking up at me, her eyes dark and dazed with passion. Her luscious lips wrapped around my dick. My fist in her hair, straining her neck back, making her take more.
Until she choked on it. Until she cried and gagged, her eyes silently pleading with me to stop. Her lovely face streaked with dark mascara and tears. Looking like bruises. Pain. And I only slammed into her harder.
Nothing could stop me. Not once I crossed that line.
Something touched my shoulder. Before my brain could react and recognize that touch, my body whirled, hands and feet trained killing machines. I barely caught myself in time, my stiffened fingers headed straight for my best friend’s windpipe.
I dropped my shoulder, twisting aside at the last moment. Off balance, I staggered. My legs didn’t want to hold me. Bent over, I braced my hands on my knees and let my head hang while I panted for air.
“Sorry,” Derek said. “I called your name several times. I didn’t know how else to break through to you.”
“I. Almost.” I gasped for air in between each word. “Killed. You.” Rivulets of sweat coursed down my face and chest.
“You almost killed yourself. You can’t even stand up.”
It was a sign of how right he was that I didn’t even try to prove him wrong. I’d headed down to the exercise room as soon as I’d left her. “How long?”
“Nearly three hours. She’s worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” Though I still didn’t try to straighten. I was afraid if I stood up too quickly, I’d end up flat on my back like I’d tossed him earlier.
“You fell back into a destructive pattern,” Derek said, his voice solemn.
Exercise was a great way to keep the mind and body balanced, but I had the unfortunate habit of turning it into a way to punish myself, working my body to the point of heat exhaustion and dehydration. No food, no water, no rest. Not when a part of my brain still insisted that everyone really would be better off if I was dead.
There were healthier ways for me to deal with my emotions. Some days, I could look back and remember how far I’d come. Other days, like today, I found myself back on the black spiral to rock bottom. Luckily, I hadn’t crashed completely. At least this time.
“Yeah.” I didn’t try to argue or make excuses. It wasn’t the first time I’d slipped. It certainly wouldn’t be the last time one of my friends saved my life.
“I should have come for you after an hour.”
I pushed up slowly, shaking my head. “Don’t beat yourself up. That’s my job. You were right to give me space. I just took it too far.”
Now that I’d stopped pounding that punching bag, I wanted to sink to the floor. But that would be the absolute worst thing I could do. I’d be so stiff that I wouldn’t even be able to move tomorrow. I shuffled into a slow circular walk, stretching out my shoulders and arms, while Derek went to the fridge and got me a couple of electrolyte drinks. I chugged the first one and then kept moving and stretching, waiting for my heartrate to settle down to a normal range.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Not really. But therapy had taught me that when I didn’t want to talk, it was probably the most important time for me to open up and get the words out.
“I broke my own fucking rule.”
D nodded slowly, silently encouraging me to continue.
“She gave me a blow job while Ev fucked her from behind. Hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and done in my life.”
“And? How’d you feel after?”
“Like fucking shit. Obviously.”
He didn’t ask me why or push for answers. Sometimes I really didn’t know why. I’d come down here to try and beat some sense into myself. Figure things out. Only I’d gone too far, as usual.
Leaning against the wall, I stretched out my right quad, grimacing at the deep ache in my muscles. There was good pain, and then there was bad pain. I was right on that border of actually injuring myself. I’d pay the price for the next few days. “I’m getting too old for this shit.”
D snorted. “Same. After you tossed me on my ass, I think I pulled something. I’ll be walking like an old man tomorrow.”
We were only thirty-six, though Everett was a few months older and always led the charge to the new year. We had plenty of years ahead of us. Though some days I marveled that I’d made it so far already.
“She good?” I asked softly, not looking up at him.
“Perfectly fine. Just worried about you. She’s afraid she violated you.”
Shocked, I jerked my head up, searching his face. “No fucking way.”
“You set a clear boundary that was crossed.”
“By me. Not her.”
He shrugged. “It still bothers her. She’s afraid she and Ev coerced you into doing something that you regret.”
I stretched out my other quad, letting my mind wallow a moment in the unfamiliar sensation of someone caring that much about what I wanted. What I needed. What I might actually fear and take it seriously. My friends knew enough about my past to know that the boundary I had set long ago had been to protect other people. Not me.
But it was sweet indeed to think that she meant to protect me. Even though I didn’t need that protection.
That boundary had served its purpose. Derek had been right to push me earlier. To challenge me into rethinking the limitations I’d set on my life. Ten years ago, it’d been a fucking necessity. I’d been on the brink. I’d needed a ledge to hold onto, no matter how razor thin. But the last few years, I’d been on a wider, easier path. I’d climbed out of that ravine, with the help of professionals and the safety net of my friends, who’d become my brothers.
Though this episode of punishing myself certainly served as a rude reminder that I would always deal with the harsh memories of my past.
I straightened and turned to face him, shoulders square and determined. “I think it’s time to have that talk.”
My best friend in the world nodded. He knew, without needing an explanation, what I meant.
It was time to face the music and let Shelby’s love shine into the darkest place of my heart.
29
Shelby
I took Kaleb’s hand and carefully stepped into the massive tub. Hot enough that I had to slowly lower myself into a sitting position, which was absolutely perfect. Deep enough that water came up to my chin without having to lay back. Big enough that Everett climbed in too, and there was still plenty of room.
For two more, though Derek still hadn’t returned with Chris.
Ev handed me my wine glass, topped off with more merlot. The ridiculous fireplace cast flickering light through the darkened room, aided by dozens of romantic candles all around the tub and vanity.
With the jets turned on, I tried to close my eyes and let all the tenderness lingering in my body flow away. The guys had been more than considerate with me, but after a dry spell that had lasted for years, having four guys’ full attention was quite a shock.
Though I hadn’t really had Chris yet. Not fully.
If I’d made a mistake by dragging him into our scene
, then I might never have him. A few days ago, I wouldn’t have been concerned at all. Three lovers, or four, did it really matter in the end?
Yeah. It did. It mattered if Blakely Four Brothers’ friendship was broken. By me.
We didn’t try to talk while the jets ran, but they shut off after twenty minutes. Even then, neither man made a move on me. Floating in silence, I tried to relax. It was a shame not to enjoy such an incredible bathtub. It was perfect. I couldn’t have even dreamed such a thing existed.
But it was incomplete without them.
Finally, the door opened, and I sat up straighter, relief welling in me as Derek and then Chris stepped into the bathroom. Both naked, I immediately noticed, though Chris’ hair looked wet, as if he’d already showered.
“How’s that bath?” Derek asked, rummaging in the fridge to get himself and Chris a beer.
“Perfect. Now.” I whispered, searching Chris’ face.
He looked exhausted, but for the first time since I’d met him, the coiled tension didn’t strain in his shoulders. Without hesitating, he stepped into the tub and came straight toward me.
“Move, asshole,” he told Kaleb. And he immediately vacated the spot closest to me without complaint.
Derek climbed in and handed Chris the bottle, then took a seat opposite me by his brother.
Silence descended, marred only by the gentle sloshing of the water. The clink of glass on tile. I took a sip of my wine, determined to wait it out. If there was a problem, we needed to talk about it. I sure wasn’t going to beg them for a few crumbs of explanation.
If Chris was upset… He needed to tell me like an adult. I couldn’t deal with an uncommunicative partner, because that was an oxymoron. There was no partnership without conversation. If something was wrong, I needed to know. We couldn’t work on anything if nobody would tell me what was going on.
Rob had certainly lost his temper and screamed at me or the kids plenty of times in the course of our marriage, but worse were the moments of punishing silence. Sometimes he didn’t speak to me for days. If I’d asked him what was wrong, I’d get a muttered, “nothing.” Even after he’d start to talk again, he pretended like nothing had happened.