Poems That Make Grown Men Cry

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Poems That Make Grown Men Cry Page 15

by Anthony

their fauna, their geography.

  Just when I thought I couldn’t stand it

  another minute longer, Friday came.

  (Accounts of that have everything all wrong.)

  Friday was nice.

  Friday was nice, and we were friends.

  If only he had been a woman!

  I wanted to propagate my kind,

  and so did he, I think, poor boy.

  He’d pet the baby goats sometimes,

  and race with them, or carry one around.

  – Pretty to watch; he had a pretty body.

  And then one day they came and took us off.

  Now I live here, another island,

  that doesn’t seem like one, but who decides?

  My blood was full of them; my brain

  bred islands. But that archipelago

  has petered out. I’m old.

  I’m bored, too, drinking my real tea,

  surrounded by uninteresting lumber.

  The knife there on the shelf –

  it reeked of meaning, like a crucifix.

  It lived. How many years did I

  beg it, implore it, not to break?

  I knew each nick and scratch by heart,

  the bluish blade, the broken tip,

  the lines of wood-grain on the handle . . .

  Now it won’t look at me at all.

  The living soul has dribbled away.

  My eyes rest on it and pass on.

  The local museum’s asked me to

  leave everything to them:

  the flute, the knife, the shrivelled shoes,

  my shedding goatskin trousers

  (moths have got in the fur),

  the parasol that took me such a time

  remembering the way the ribs should go.

  It still will work but, folded up,

  looks like a plucked and skinny fowl.

  How can anyone want such things?

  – And Friday, my dear Friday, died of measles

  seventeen years ago come March.

  (1976)

  Andrew Solomon (b.1963) won the 2001 National Book Award for The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, which was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and named as one of the London Times’s one hundred best books of the decade. His most recent book, Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity (2012), received the National Book Critics Circle Award. An activist in the fields of mental health, LGBT rights, education and the arts, he is also the author of The Irony Tower (1991) and a novel, A Stone Boat (1994), as well as numerous award-winning articles for major US newspapers, magazines and academic journals.

  For Julia, in the Deep Water

  JOHN N. MORRIS (1931–1997)

  TOBIAS WOLFF

  I have raised three children, and lived through this very moment with each of them, not only in watching them learn to swim, but in sending them off for their first day of school – watching them wave uncertainly, bravely, from the window of the vanishing bus; handing them the keys to the car for their first solo run; sending them away to college, to foreign countries, to romance and marriage – learning to stand back, ‘doing nothing’, as they enter the deep water.

  And this poem always makes it happen again for me: that sense of my children needing help, needing me, that helplessness, that desolation of letting go, that joy in their courage, their hunger for all of life’s possibilities and hazards. And always the knowledge, sometimes sleeping, sometimes awake, sometimes jangling like an alarm, that in the end they will follow where I am bound, whatever the skill and struggle that has kept us afloat. They will learn to let go, as I am still learning to let go. I never did anything harder.

  For Julia, in the Deep Water

  The instructor we hire

  because she does not love you

  Leads you into the deep water,

  The deep end

  Where the water is darker –

  Her open, encouraging arms

  That never get nearer

  Are merciless for your sake.

  You will dream this water always

  Where nothing draws nearer,

  Wasting your valuable breath

  You will scream for your mother –

  Only your mother is drowning

  Forever in the thin air

  Down at the deep end.

  She is doing nothing,

  She never did anything harder.

  And I am beside her.

  I am beside her in this imagination.

  We are waiting

  Where the water is darker.

  You are over your head,

  Screaming, you are learning

  Your way toward us,

  You are learning how

  In the helpless water

  It is with our skill

  We live in what kills us.

  (1976)

  The books of Tobias Wolff (b. 1945) include the memoirs This Boy’s Life (1989) and In Pharaoh’s Army: Memories of the Lost War (1994); the short novel The Barracks Thief (1984); the novel Old School (2003); and four collections of short stories, In the Garden of the North American Martyrs (1981), Back in the World (1985), The Night in Question (1997) and, most recently, Our Story Begins: New and Selected Stories (2008). He has also edited several anthologies, among them The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Short Stories (1994). He is the Ward W. and Priscilla B. Woods Professor in the Humanities at Stanford University.

  Aubade

  PHILIP LARKIN (1922–85)

  WILLIAM SIEGHART

  Philip Larkin has, amongst his many gifts, an extraordinary ability to embrace a feeling or thought that the rest of us would quickly strike from our mind because it was so disturbing, and examine that thought properly and turn it into a poem. ‘Aubade’ is the supreme example of this. Waking up in the middle of the night and worrying about one’s death is an experience we all can recognise, one that most of us would rather not spend too much time thinking about. Yet Larkin does the opposite and constructs a poem of universal relevance without the conceit of poetic obfuscation. I think it is one of the finest poems written in the last half of the twentieth century and, however many times I read or recite it, the eyes inevitably begin to moisten.

  Aubade

  I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.

  Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.

  In time the curtain-edges will grow light.

  Till then I see what’s really always there:

  Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,

  Making all thought impossible but how

  And where and when I shall myself die.

  Arid interrogation: yet the dread

  Of dying, and being dead,

  Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

  The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse

  – The good not done, the love not given, time

  Torn off unused – nor wretchedly because

  An only life can take so long to climb

  Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;

  But at the total emptiness for ever,

  The sure extinction that we travel to

  And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,

  Not to be anywhere,

  And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

  This is a special way of being afraid

  No trick dispels. Religion used to try,

  That vast, moth-eaten musical brocade

  Created to pretend we never die,

  And specious stuff that says No rational being

  Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing

  That this is what we fear – no sight, no sound,

  No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,

  Nothing to love or link with,

  The anaesthetic from which none come round.

  And so it stays just on the edge of vision,

  A small, unfocused blur, a standing chill

  That slows each impulse down
to indecision.

  Most things may never happen: this one will,

  And realisation of it rages out

  In furnace-fear when we are caught without

  People or drink. Courage is no good:

  It means not scaring others. Being brave

  Lets no one off the grave.

  Death is no different whined at than withstood.

  Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.

  It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,

  Have always known, know that we can’t escape,

  Yet can’t accept. One side will have to go.

  Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring

  In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring

  Intricate rented world begins to rouse.

  The sky is white as clay, with no sun.

  Work has to be done.

  Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

  (1977)

  After cofounding Forward Publishing in 1986, the British entrepreneur and philanthropist William Sieghart (b. 1960) launched the influential Forward Prizes for Poetry in 1992 and two years later National Poetry Day, which sees poetry celebrated around the UK each October. In 2012, to mark the London Olympic and Paralympic Games, he launched Winning Words, a public art project to place poetry in public places, as well as editing an anthology of that title.

  Dear Bryan Wynter

  W. S. GRAHAM (1918–86)

  NICK LAIRD

  I’m not sure any poem has made me cry exactly, but there are many poems I find very moving. Some come to mind immediately: Edward Thomas’s ‘Rain’ or ‘Old Man’, Zbigniew Herbert’s ‘Remembering My Father’, Heaney’s ‘Clearances’ sequence, Les Murray’s ‘The Mitchells’, Frank O’Hara’s ‘Having a Coke with You’, Rilke’s Eighth Elegy, Larkin’s ‘Aubade’, George Herbert’s ‘The Pearl’. But today I’ll opt for W. S. Graham’s ‘Dear Bryan Wynter’, which, along with his poems ‘Lines on Roger Hilton’s Watch’ and ‘Private Poem to Norman MacLeod’, says something lean and direct about the strengths and limitations of friendship, about how far one can journey from the ‘ego house’, as Graham calls it in the MacLeod poem, and suggests that poetry, ‘a kind / Of news of no time’, is a way to practise talking with the dead.

  Dear Bryan Wynter

  1

  This is only a note

  To say how sorry I am

  You died. You will realise

  What a position it puts

  Me in. I couldn’t really

  Have died for you if so

  I were inclined. The carn

  Foxglove here on the wall

  Outside your first house

  Leans with me standing

  In the Zennor wind.

  Anyhow how are things?

  Are you still somewhere

  With your long legs

  And twitching smile under

  Your blue hat walking

  Across a place? Or am

  I greedy to make you up

  Again out of memory?

  Are you there at all?

  I would like to think

  You were all right

  And not worried about

  Monica and the children

  And not unhappy or bored.

  2

  Speaking to you and not

  Knowing if you are there

  Is not too difficult.

  My words are used to that.

  Do you want anything?

  Where shall I send something?

  Rice-wine, meanders, paintings

  By your contemporaries?

  Or shall I send a kind

  Of news of no time

  Leaning against the wall

  Outside your old house.

  The house and the whole moor

  Is flying in the mist.

  3

  I am up. I’ve washed

  The front of my face

  And here I stand looking

  Out over the top

  Half of my bedroom window.

  There almost as far

  As I can see I see

  St Buryan’s church tower.

  An inch to the left, behind

  That dark rise of woods,

  Is where you used to lurk.

  4

  This is only a note

  To say I am aware

  You are not here. I find

  It difficult to go

  Beside Housman’s star

  Lit fences without you.

  And nobody will laugh

  At my jokes like you.

  5

  Bryan, I would be obliged

  If you would scout things out

  For me. Although I am not

  Just ready to start out.

  I am trying to be better,

  Which will make you smile

  Under your blue hat.

  I know I make a symbol

  Of the foxglove on the wall.

  It is because it knows you.

  (c. 1977)

  Nick Laird (b. Northern Ireland, 1975) worked as a litigator for several years before leaving to write full-time. He has published three collections of poetry, To a Fault (2005), On Purpose (2007) and Go Giants (2013), and two novels, Utterly Monkey (2005) and Glover’s Mistake (2009). He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature and teaches at Princeton University.

  A Meeting

  WENDELL BERRY (1934– )

  COLUM MCCANN

  The only person who truly wants to admit to crying over a poem is the poet herself or himself. Most poems don’t come like a burning bush or a pillar of light. They are worked and worried into being. But when they finally emerge they should have the appearance of absolute ease. Poets are so much like dancers who ruin their ankles for the sake of a moment’s beauty in the air. The fact is that they occasionally soar. So much craft goes into the making of a poem that I imagine most poets would be delighted to learn that someone else, other than themselves, has cried over it. Still, it can happen. And, like most men, I’m more easily moved to tears than I’m prepared to tell anyone. I don’t know a poem that consistently brings a tear to my eye, but I can always count on Wendell Berry’s ‘A Meeting’ to create wine from water. It’s a beautiful poem, not meant to make us cry, but to celebrate the passing of loved ones. I read it recently at the wake of a good friend. It did indeed make me weep then, though there are other times it simply breaks open the day.

  I have developed a favourite thing at Christmastime, where I ask my kids to learn a poem off by heart and ‘give’ it to me rather than a pair of socks or yet another scarf. It’s my favourite moment of the whole year. I give them a poem and they learn it. Sometimes the poems are wildly different, from ‘A Meeting’ to ‘The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock’. But this Berry poem will always be theirs, and therefore mine.

  Berry is a poet who has a singular refusal to engage with the sentimental and yet is always brave enough to engage the necessity of sentiment. We are, all of us, going to end up under some mighty fine trees. All good poems come around to other poems. I suppose the question is, ‘Do we dare to eat the peach?’ In Berry’s world, we always do.

  A Meeting

  In a dream I meet

  my dead friend. He has,

  I know, gone long and far,

  and yet he is the same

  for the dead are changeless.

  They grow no older.

  It is I who have changed,

  grown strange to what I was.

  Yet I, the changed one,

  ask: ‘How you been?’

  He grins and looks at me.

  ‘I been eating peaches

  off some mighty fine trees.’

  (1980)

  The novels of the Irish writer Colum McCann (b. 1965) range from Fishing the Sloe-Black River (1994) and Songdogs (1995) to Zoli (2006), Let the Great World Spin (National Book Award, 2009) and TransAtlantic (2013). He is Professor of Creative Writing at Hunter College, New York.
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  eulogy to a hell of a dame –

  CHARLES BUKOWSKI (1920–94)

  MIKE LEIGH

  Near the bone. Strikes a chord. Takes me back. Hits a nerve. Brings a lump.

  eulogy to a hell of a dame –

  some dogs who sleep at night

  must dream of bones

  and I remember your bones

  in flesh

  and best

  in that dark green dress

  and those high-heeled bright

  black shoes,

  you always cursed when you

  drank,

  your hair coming down you

  wanted to explode out of

  what was holding you:

  rotten memories of a

  rotten

  past, and

  you finally got

  out

  by dying,

  leaving me with the

  rotten

  present;

  you’ve been dead

  28 years

  yet I remember you

  better than any of

  the rest;

  you were the only one

  who understood

  the futility of the

  arrangement of

  life;

  all the others were only

  displeased with

  trivial segments,

  carped

  nonsensically about

  nonsense;

  Jane, you were

  killed by

  knowing too much.

  here’s a drink

  to your bones

  that

  this dog

  still

  dreams about.

  (1984)

  The television and feature films made by the writer and director Mike Leigh (b. 1943) include Bleak Moments (1971), High Hopes (1988), Life Is Sweet (1990), Naked (Best Director, Cannes, 1993), Secrets and Lies (winner of the Cannes Palme d’Or, 1996), Career Girls (1997), Topsy-Turvy (1999), Vera Drake (winner of the Venice Film Festival Golden Lion, 2004), Happy-Go-Lucky (2008) and Another Year (2010). He has also written and directed stage plays including Abigail’s Party (1977) and, most recently, Grief (2011).

  Midsummer: ‘Sonnet XLIII’

  DEREK WALCOTT (1930– )

 

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