“What decision?” Beside him, Reagan looked as though she were going to be sick. She wrapped her hands around her waist, rocking back and forth as she processed the new information. He pulled her into him, feeling anger bubbling in his stomach. He could’ve killed him given the chance.
“He wanted to compete with you, Gunner. He wanted to win.”
“So, he...he raped me?” Reagan demanded, her voice hysterical.
Ignoring her question, Gia went on. “When he came home and found out you were gone...he was furious. Like, worse than I’d ever seen him. He planned out the fire before the day ended.”
Gunner’s body began shaking, his skin growing cold. “Gavin set the fire?”
“Yes.” She nodded.
“Why would he want to kill you?”
“He didn’t. He wanted to save us. Because he said you weren’t going to.”
“But the police found traces of your bodies, momma said. They buried you.”
“No, they found my watch and Gavin’s belt, our shoes, some shreds of clothing. Whatever survived the fire. He started the fire in our room so they would be okay with not finding our bodies. They just had to find enough to be okay with labeling us as dead. It was kind of brilliant, actually.”
“Brilliant? It’s sick!” He felt dizzy.
“It was what had to be done.”
“And what about momma? Does she know about your plan? Does she know you’re still alive?”
“No,” she snapped.
“Why? She deserves to know the truth. She believes she buried everyone that day. She should know that wasn’t the case.”
“Momma can’t know. No one can. Gavin would go to jail. For the fire, for faking our deaths, for murdering our father. He’s our brother, Gun. I can’t let that happen.”
“Mom would keep your secret. She would protect you.”
“No,” she reiterated. “We can’t trust anyone. I shouldn’t have even come to you except that I’m really worried about what he’s planning. He disappeared a few days after Holly died. I haven’t seen him since. It’s not like him to be gone for long and he took our car when he left so I have no way to find him.”
“Holly?” Reagan asked, suddenly back focusing on the conversation. “My sister? Were you guys with Holly? She knew about you?”
“Yes,” Gia answered her. “Holly and Gavin couldn’t be kept apart. He felt so guilty about breaking her heart the way he did. He contacted her a few weeks after our funeral.”
“Weeks? She’s known that you are both alive for years? She never told me anything.”
“She couldn’t. We made her swear not to tell a soul.”
“I thought we told each other everything,” she said, her voice breaking. Gunner squeezed her shoulder.
“She didn’t have a choice, Reagan.” Gia’s voice was harsher than Gunner would have liked.
“So, did Gavin know Holly was on drugs? Did you?”
“She wasn’t on drugs. None of us are. Gavin used heroin as a way to cover up her death. When he found out she was pregnant, he panicked. She wanted to tell her family. She swore she would keep our secret but Gavin knew that wasn’t possible. He knew the baby would destroy everything we’d worked so hard for. Our freedom. She wouldn’t have an abortion and Gavin couldn’t figure out a solution. He loved her so much. But he was scared...he didn’t want to go to jail. I don’t think he really meant for it to happen. He hates himself for it.”
“He didn’t mean to...kill her?” Gunner asked, her words sounding so foreign to him. Then again, she was talking about the man who had burned down his home at seventeen.
“No, he didn’t. We just couldn’t have people finding out about us. We couldn’t have momma finding out.”
“Why momma? You really think she’d tell your secret?”
“She hates us, Gunner. She’d kill us if she ever saw us again.”
He shook his head, feeling Reagan continuing to quiver in fear beside of him. “She wouldn’t. You saved her life.”
“Don’t you get it, Gunner? We didn’t save her. We saved ourselves from her.”
“What does that even mean? Once dad was gone you were safe. You were all safe.”
“No,” she stressed the word. “Dad was never the one we were afraid of, Gun. It was always momma who hurt us.”
“What?” he asked, unable to believe her. “No, it was dad. You always said it was dad.”
“No. We didn’t. Think back. You saw the bruises and assumed it was dad. We just never corrected you because we didn’t want things to get worse. We wouldn’t tell the police with you because you had it all wrong. Momma was the monster, daddy was just a drunk.”
“That’s not possible,” he said, his chest growing increasingly tight with each breath.
“Gunner, don’t you remember how mean she was? Don’t you remember how she’d pull my hair when I annoyed her or pinch Gavin when he smarted off? And that was just in front of you. When you weren’t around...it was the stuff from nightmares. She always told us she was doing it to protect us from daddy. She said if he got his hands on us, it would’ve been much worse. But, truth be told, I don’t know how. We believed her because she was our mother. We thought she loved us. But we left because we had no choice. And now, if she finds out what we did, I’m sure she’ll kill us.”
“Why would she want to hurt you?” he asked, feeling unsure. “Dad was mad because you weren’t biologically his. What reason did mom have?”
“I have no idea. Maybe it gave her something to do when she was bored; maybe she felt like we ruined her life. You were the golden boy. Her perfect son. We were proof that she’d made a mistake. We ruined her marriage, her life. She just hated us.”
“Bullshit, Gia. I was never the golden boy, that was Gavin.”
“Everywhere else, yes. He is handsome and athletic and popular, but at home you were the one mom loved the best. You had to see that,” she urged him to agree.
He rubbed his forehead, thinking. “So dad never hurt you? Not a single time?”
“Never.”
“I just...don’t understand. Mom had bruises herself half the time.”
“She did those to herself. She’d bang her face into the counter, hit her own head with the coffee pot. She wanted it to be believable. She was crazy, Gunner. When daddy would sober up, she’d convince him he’d been the one to do it. He never knew the truth. We were too scared to ever argue.”
“What the hell?” It was literally as if she’d been reading from a book. The story was rolling off her tongue, as unbelievable and wild as if it were a movie, and yet he could see the fear in her eyes. “How could I have missed that?”
“It doesn’t matter. You aren’t to blame. But, we don’t have time to dwell on that. Right now, we have to find Gavin and keep him out of trouble. We have to keep him away from you. Away from Dale in general. He knows, or at least suspects, that you went home for Holly’s funeral. I’m sure that’s where he’s headed. To find you. He’s off the rails, I don’t know what he’s planning.”
“It’s been eight years since he ruined my life. What on earth could he possibly want to hurt me for?” Gunner asked angrily.
“He blames you for it, Gunner. All of it. The fire. The abuse. Us having to run. Holly’s death. If you hadn’t left that night, it could have been different.”
“If he hadn’t raped the love of my life—”
Reagan cut him off as the door to the bathroom opened and Nora reappeared. “I’m done,” she announced, walking to the couch with a handful of dirty clothes. Reagan stood, taking the clothes and slipping them into a laundry bag she’d brought.
Gunner turned to Gia. “I never saw Gavin in Dale. Where else do you think he could be?”
“I honestly don’t know. Before Holly moved here, we lived in Queens. And before that, we lived in South Carolina. Before that, Nashville, Tennessee. We’ve moved around a lot. We always have to keep moving.”
He reached across the coffee table and grabbe
d his sister’s hands. “No more moving. I’m going to keep you safe like I couldn’t before.”
“Gunner, you don’t have to take care of me. I’m a grown woman.”
“You’re my baby sister first,” he told her. “I should’ve protected you years ago.”
“Don’t blame yourself,” she said, shaking her head. “I should’ve been honest with you about what was happening. I was just scared. I didn’t want it to get worse.”
“I know,” he said, rubbing her hand. Just then, his phone began ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out, staring at the screen, and growled. “Speak of the devil.”
“Gavin?” Gia asked anxiously.
“No. It’s momma.” He slid his finger across the screen. “Hello?”
“Gunner?” she asked, her voice sounding hoarse.
“Momma? What is it?” He couldn’t help but feel protective over her despite his anger.
“I don’t want to bother you.”
“What’s going on?” he asked again.
“I know you’re busy. I just wanted you to know I’m going in for another round of chemo today. You asked me to keep you informed, so I am. They found more cancer. It’s spreading worse than before,” she said it casually as if she were telling him about the weather. “I thought you’d want to know.”
“What? Since when?”
“I just got the call. I did it alone last time...I don’t know if you want to come home. I can handle it alone again. But, I wanted to let you know what was going on. I’d like to see you again before I die.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” he said, a lump in his throat. “You made it through before, you’ll be fine this time, right?”
“I don’t think so, Gun. It’s made it to the bone now, which was what they were afraid of. They don’t seem to think…” She took a sharp breath. “I won’t be here for much longer.”
“I’ll be home soon.”
* * *
When they pulled into his mother’s lot the next day, the car was filled with tension. Gia was visibly shaking in the backseat, despite Gunner’s promise that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. An unfamiliar red car sat in a parking spot.
“That’s Gavin,” Gia gasped, seeing it at the exact time Gunner had. “I was right. He’s here.”
“Stay here,” he turned around in his seat, facing the many eyes that were locked on him. “Lock the doors when I leave and do not get out of the car. Not for any reason. I’m going to go in and make sure he isn’t hurting momma. I need to find out what he wants.”
“It could be a trap, Gunner,” Reagan said, her eyes wide with fear. “Let’s just go get the police.”
“No,” he said firmly. “Not yet. I don’t want Gia to get into trouble.”
“He’s dangerous, Gunner,” Gia said, “I don’t know. Maybe we should wait.”
“I’ll be okay,” he said firmly. “Just promise me you’ll stay here. If anything happens, if I’m in there too long, you need to leave. Protect each other.”
“Gunner—”
“Promise me,” he demanded, his eyes on Reagan.
“I promise,” Gia said finally.
Gunner leaned across, kissing Reagan on the lips. “I love you,” he said. “I know we aren’t doing that yet, but I do.”
“I love you back,” she told him.
Nora leaned up in the seat, gasping. “Did you just kiss my mom?” she demanded, her nose scrunched up as if she’d smelled something gross.
“Yep, I sure did,” Gunner said, kissing Nora’s forehead. “And I’m kissing you too, kiddo. You guys be safe.”
As he started to open the door, Gia reached up and grabbed his hand. “I never wanted any of this. I just wanted to be free of her,” she said, her wild eyes burning into his.
“I know,” he said.
“Remember Gunner, no one can know I’m alive,” she warned.
“It’s going to be okay. I’m just going to get Gavin. I won’t tell momma anything.”
He climbed out of the car before anyone could protest. “Twenty minutes,” he called over his shoulder before shutting the door and walking up onto the porch. He didn’t look back. Couldn’t.
He pulled open the screened door, not bothering to knock and went into the house. “Momma?” he called. She was sitting in her old recliner, an afghan wrapped around her small body. Her skin was pale white, cheeks more sunken in than before. Her face was coated in sweat as if she were running a fever.
“Gunner?” she asked, her face lighting up when she saw him.
He rushed to her side, touching her hands. They were ice cold. “Where is he?”
“Where’s who?” she asked.
Before he could answer, he heard the voice he hadn’t heard in years, the voice he never thought he’d hear again.
“Hello, brother,” Gavin’s hatred-filled voice rang out from behind him. Gunner spun around.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded, his muscles tensing. His once blond hair was now a jet black, nearly the color of Gunner’s. His arms were thinner, he’d lost most of the muscle he’d boasted in high school.
“I’m paying a visit to dear old mom,” he said, a menacing smile growing on his face.
“What did you do to her?” he asked angrily.
“I’m fine, Gunner,” she answered, her voice breathy. “Honestly, it’s just the chemo. Your brother couldn’t hurt me.”
“Shut up,” Gavin snapped, rubbing his face. He looked exhausted, agitated.
“When’s the last time you slept, Gav?” Gunner asked, taking a step toward him.
Ignoring him, Gavin’s gaze remained locked on their mother. “I would gladly hurt you. But I need answers.” He stepped forward.
Gunner stepped in between them, his hands up. He noticed the fists Gavin was making. “Woah, wait. Answers about what? You don’t want to hurt her. You don’t. I know you’re mad, but it will only make things worse for you.”
“You know...you know I’m mad?” He laughed hysterically. Manically even. “You couldn’t possibly know anything, Gun. You couldn’t because you never cared. You never bothered to stay around.”
“Gavin, I know you’re mad that I left. I know you’re mad about Holly.”
“Don’t you say her fucking name, man!” he screamed, his temper flaring up even more. His body shook, the veins in his forehead poking out.
“I’m sorry,” Gunner said, his hands up. “Let’s just go, okay? Let’s just leave mom out of this. Gia is out in the car. We’re going to talk this all out.”
“Gia?” His eyes grew wide. “What are you talking about?”
“Gia’s here. She’s worried about you.”
“Gia wouldn’t have come for me.”
“That’s ridiculous. Of course she would.”
“No!” he screamed, “No. I’ll kill her if I see her, she knows that.” He darted for the door.
Gunner jumped in front of him. “What are you talking about?” He grabbed his brother’s shoulders, their strength now closer to an even match. “You aren’t killing anyone.”
“Move out of my way.” He shoved him out of the way but Gunner was back in an instant.
“No. I’m not going to let you hurt her. What’s going on? What answers are you looking for?” he begged, struggling to keep Gavin from the door.
“I need to find Gia. I thought mom knew where she was,” he said, throwing arms and fists Gunner’s way. “I thought she’d come running home after she left. She had no one else to turn to. She could never be alone. You were gone. It had to be momma.” Gunner continued struggling to hold him back, trying to understand what he was saying. Suddenly, his fist slammed into Gunner’s cheek and Gunner groaned, tasting blood.
“Stop it, right now!” their mother screamed from her chair. “Both of you. Can’t you see how your fighting is upsetting your mother?”
“Shut up!” Gavin yelled at her. “No one cares if you’re upset, you stupid old bitch. You’re just as responsible for Holly’s deat
h as Gia. I hate you!” He was reaching hysterics now. He stopped struggling against Gunner, and charged at their mother.
“You stupid boy,” their mother cackled as he ran toward her, seemingly unafraid. “I’m glad she’s dead,” she said hatefully. “That’s what you get thinking you could run away from me.”
Gunner turned, surprised by her evil words. “It’s true?” he asked. “You really were the one all along? The one who hurt them?”
Gavin grabbed her shirt, pulling at it so it dug into her neck. He froze, awaiting her next move. She frowned as if nothing was happening, looking at him innocently. “Now, baby...I only did what I had to do.”
“You had to abuse your children?” Gunner cried, not recognizing the woman in front of him. “You were their mother...our mother.” He walked to them, pulling her shirt from his hands and helping Gavin to stand up straight. Tears had begun forming in his eyes as his mother’s voice carried on coldly.
“I fed you. I kept a roof over your head. Just because I had to put them in their place every once in a while doesn’t make me a bad mother.”
“Put us in our place?” Gavin lunged at her again. “You sick—”
The woman screamed, falling from her chair dramatically before he’d even touched her. It was all an act. Gunner realized then it always had been. She’d just needed someone to pity her, and stupidly he’d done just that. “Call the police, Gunner. Call them and tell him what he’s doing to me. Call them.”
Gunner pulled Gavin back, both of them staring down at her. “Gia told me everything, momma. I’m sorry, I can’t help you anymore.”
“What are you gonna do, Gunner? Surely you can’t hate your own mother?” she asked, her eyes wide, struggling to catch her breath. The excitement had caused her to begin coughing. She leaned over, hurling up the scanty contents of her stomach.
Gunner took a step back, unable to move. “You’re no mother to us anymore,” he said. “Maybe you never really were.” It wasn’t meant to be as harsh as the words sounded, but still they were true. The woman on the floor wasn’t the woman he’d loved so much growing up. And somehow, that disconnect allowed him to look away from her when she needed him the most.
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