There was nothing Leotis could say or do. He had preached on forgiveness, on watching and praying with fervor, and had offered God’s agape love, which meant a love for all was plentiful. But now, standing there with his arms outstretched, beholding the sight of Ima and Sasha pushing toward him, all he wanted was to fold his arms and, with his peace of mind still intact, go home.
Ima was attending church that morning battle ready. She’d come with her long hair bouncing and behaving, determined to get Leotis’s and the congregation’s attention. After getting all Leotis’s history she could from Sasha, especially bits about him being rather narrow-minded, and putting it together with what she definitely knew about men, she didn’t just come to church that morning. Lady Ima arrived there a very different woman.
Shooing away the ushers, Ima walked the last few feet toward Leotis. She wore a neon purple, short-sleeved cotton dress with a jacket that modestly covered her large bosom. Although the outfit had looked plain on the store’s mannequin, Ima had filled it out in all the right places and had made it still look church classy. Besides wearing a pearl necklace and pearl earrings to accessorize her dress, she’d settled for matching three-inch, open-toed heels, instead of the normal five-inch heels, and had white polished toenails peeking through. The dress’s hem hit just below the kneecap but could easily rise to show where many men had gone before when she sat.
Mother Pray Onn, dressed in her usual white, two-piece mothers’ board outfit and tight bun, walked a few steps behind Ima. She looked like she was trying to hide from Leotis, but she needed to be close enough to hear and see Ima perform.
Lord, you take the wheel, Leotis thought as he beckoned Ima to cover the final few feet between them.
Leotis made no effort to acknowledge her presence any differently than he would that of others needing prayer. “My daughter,” he told her as his adjutant, who’d been standing by, poured a little blessed oil into the palms of his hands. Closing his eyes, he began placing his hands on her head, saying, “I want you to give over to God all the concerns you’ve brought to this altar.” He opened one eye slightly and saw Ima peeking, too. He quickly closed his eyes again and continued.
Leotis prayed aloud for Ima’s salvation and silently for his own. Despite what he had told Sharvon and had even admitted to God, Ima could still get to him, even at God’s altar.
Ima swayed a little, silently accepted all that he’d asked God to do for her, and inwardly presented her own petition. Lord, I truly can change. I’d make a fabulous first lady.
While Leotis went to his study to change after the service so that he and Freddie could return home, Freddie met with a few of the other trustees. He needed to ask them to put a hold on the surprise they’d been planning for his wedding. He hadn’t figured out how to tell them why, and after praying and reading the scriptures the other night, he wasn’t sure if he should.
“Glad to see you back in the service this morning,” Elder Batty told Freddie, while others added their welcomes, as well. “Things have been rather quiet since the last time we spoke.”
Freddie knew the elder was fishing around to see if there were any hard feelings. He imagined the man was still embarrassed after the way Bea had behaved badly at Sister Betty’s home and at the hospital.
“Everything is just fine, Elder Batty.” Freddie could feel tiredness spreading through his body, and he wanted to continue with business. He found a seat.
One by one the trustees brought him up to date on all the outstanding business, but they never mentioned the surprise they were working on for Freddie’s wedding. If they had any thought that he looked bad that morning, they kept it to themselves, perhaps thinking it was a result of whatever had caused him to pass out weeks ago in the fellowship hall.
While Leotis was still in his study, preparing to return home, and Freddie was concluding his meeting with the other trustees, Ima and Mother Pray Onn were sitting outside in Ima’s car. Ima wanted to know what her aunt thought about her approach to winning over Leotis.
“You don’t think this purple number is a little too understated?” Ima removed the jacket. She folded it before flinging it into the backseat. “I still want him to see what a real blessing looks like, one he could have if he ever stops acting a fool.”
At first Sasha didn’t answer. She was looking away, toward one of the church’s three parking lots. She turned around and smiled at Ima. “I don’t think it’s too understated, but you might want to keep reminding him of what he could lose if he don’t loosen up a bit.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because if you don’t,” Sasha said before pointing her finger at one of the parking lots, “she will.”
Sharvon helped Sister Betty from her car. Sharvon had said she wanted to attend service that day, but she had also done everything to make sure they wouldn’t make the same service as Leotis and Freddie.
Although they were attending the eleven o’clock service, Sharvon had wanted to get there early enough to park on the street rather than in one of the church’s parking lots. “I don’t know where the church gets these slow folks from. They either can’t find you a parking space or they don’t know how to direct the others to get out of the lot.”
“It’s probably because the first service let out late, Sharvon. Don’t get so upset. We still have time, and you want your mind clear so you can receive the Lord’s Word.”
“I’m okay,” Sharvon told her. “I’m just happy to finally have the time to attend church with you.”
Sister Betty was happy to attend the service but a bit sad because she still hadn’t heard from Leotis. She’d already decided not to confront Freddie, should he approach her. It was in God’s hand, and she’d made up her mind that that was where she should leave it.
“Ain’t no way I’m leaving now,” Ima hissed. “I thought you told me that Sharvon worked on weekends and didn’t come to church?”
“I said she’s been working on the weekends and hadn’t been to church in a while,” Sasha replied. “You need to pay more attention.”
But once Ima saw Sharvon walking toward the church with Sister Betty beside her, Ima’s green eyes blazed. She watched Sharvon walk like a runway model, with her hair sweeping over her shoulders in long curls and her all-white dress making her look more like a bride than Ima ever could. Ima’s eyes darted about the car, like she was looking for something to throw. “She’s gonna get told today, I’m gonna be the first lady,” she declared to Sasha.
A few minutes later it was Sasha’s turn to become livid. She’d asked Ima to drive her home first before going back inside the church. She had left food baking in the oven and needed to get back and see about it. But Ima didn’t care about that.
“Let your building burn down,” Ima told her. “I am not driving you home first. I’m going back inside that church.”
Sasha tried reasoning with her. “I don’t have no reservation to take the church bus. You can’t just hop on any bus going to the Promised Land development.”
None of Sasha’s arguments worked. Ima was on her way back inside the church while Sasha threatened to testify falsely against the bus driver if he didn’t make room for her on that bus. The old bus driver, with his fatty stomach supporting the steering wheel, announced that he had one more passenger. Once the others realized it was Sasha, a few got off to give her room. Some hoped she’d give them the real deal on why Ima had asked for prayer and to join the church.
Driving home, Leotis fended off a tired Freddie’s need to discuss Ima’s sudden desire for prayer in morning service.
“I’m not pretending to be her judge and jury. I certainly do believe that God can save anyone,” Freddie said. “But this is Ima Hellraiser.”
“God’s got a use for us all.” Leotis wanted that comment to end the discussion. However, nothing he’d said so far deterred the trustee from offering his opinions.
“Oh, I know that God can clean up anyone. I mean, look what He’s done in my life.”<
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“Well, then,” Leotis said quickly, hoping this was the last of their conversation about Ima, “He can do it for Ima, too.”
“What you need to do is pray that He can do it for you.” Freddie’s stare met that of Leotis, who had just swerved the car to keep from hitting a running squirrel.
“I’ll tell you what, Trustee,” Leotis said with authority. “You don’t talk about Ima, and I won’t mention my Sister Betty.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and began speaking to the rhythm he kept. “However, I must go and see about her. I know she’s wondering why I haven’t. And I’ve promised not to discuss you with her, even if she brings up your name. I won’t even mention her name to you, either.”
“You can discuss my Honey Bee all you want.”
Leotis’s jaw dropped. “What are you talking about? What’s happened?”
“God’s got this,” Freddie said, smiling. “I’ve nothing to lose now. I’m throwing it all into God’s hands. I’ve no time to let the Devil get a toehold on my remaining days.”
“Does Sister Betty know about your sudden change of heart and plans?”
“If she don’t know,” Freddie said with a tired smile, “she will. She’s a praying woman. God can and will show her what’s up with our wedding plans, just like He did me. Either way, I’m not giving up on having that ole gal in my life some kinda way.” Freddie stopped smiling, and his look became one of concern. “You, on the other hand, need to follow your own sermon.”
“Which one?”
“The one you just preached this morning. You need to be the one doing all that watching and praying. What God was saying through you might have been more for you than for the rest of us.”
What Freddie had just said dropped like a rock into Leotis’s spirit, and for the rest of the way he said nothing more.
It’d taken Ima a while to calm down. Each time she’d started to reenter the church, she’d stopped and thought, Don’t I like a good challenge? What’s Sharvon got on me? I light that man’s fire. She can only douse the flames with her do-good ideas. Ima had finally concluded that confronting Sharvon wasn’t a good idea. It would not leave a good impression on either Leotis or the congregation, which she hoped to win over. Let that woman have her dreams. They’ll only be nightmares if she goes too far. Concluding she had the upper hand and better looks, Ima got back inside her car and drove away.
The first person Sister Betty and Sharvon ran into as they entered the sanctuary for the eleven o’clock service was Bea. Sharvon immediately walked away, after telling Sister Betty that she needed to speak with someone she recognized before the service began. “You just tell the usher that we need two seats,” she told Sister Betty before she walked away. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Bea and Sasha had arranged to go to separate services that morning. They figured if Sister Betty and Trustee Freddie came to church separately, then either Bea or Sasha could keep an eye on them. If they came together, then the two women could put away any plans of getting them back together. Either way, Bea and Sasha already had their event-planning debut set in stone, and Sister Betty and Freddie would be a part of it.
“You’re looking well rested this morning,” Bea told Sister Betty.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, we haven’t chatted since that little misunderstanding at your home, when Trustee Freddie—” Bea stopped and looked around the sanctuary before she whispered, “When the trustee was staying in your bedroom, naked.”
Sister Betty shifted her Bible to the other hand, straightened the small, white, mesh-material, beanie-shaped hat upon her head, then leaned in as she, too, whispered to Bea. “Viagra.”
Bea jumped back so fast, the arch in her back almost straightened. “Harrumph!” Bea said before she turned and scurried away.
An usher escorted Sister Betty to one of the pews near the front of the sanctuary. She found Sharvon already seated there and chatting with one of the deacons. It didn’t take long for one of the associate ministers chosen to give the sermon to get started, and he brought the service to a close much quicker than Leotis would’ve liked, had he still been there.
Although the service had ended some time ago, Sister Betty had insisted on hanging around and greeting some people she hadn’t seen in a while. Sharvon almost had to drag her from the church so they could go home.
“Even though Leotis didn’t preach the eleven o’clock service,” Sister Betty told Sharvon as they drove back home, “I figured he’d at least be in his study or close by.”
Sister Betty had been throwing hints and asking about Leotis for the past ten minutes, ever since she discovered Leotis had left the church after the eight o’clock service, but she had managed to do this without ever mentioning Freddie.
Sharvon needed to fashion a reply that wasn’t a total lie. “I really don’t know what to tell you.”
“Well,” Sister Betty said as she fiddled with the car’s air-conditioning knob and turned down the radio, “you never did mention why you were standing in his doorway yesterday.”
“You saw me?” Sharvon hadn’t meant to respond in a way that could bring about more questions. In fact, she hadn’t thought at all about the possibility of her cousin seeing her and Leotis on his front porch. Since they’d left in his car almost immediately, she had just assumed that no one had seen them. “It wasn’t much of anything,” Sharvon lied. “I, too, had wondered why he hadn’t been by the house, and he apologized about it.” Sharvon’s face lit up as she spoke, because even if she was making it up as she went along, she was going to milk that apology for all it was worth.
“That’s very sweet of him,” Sister Betty replied. “I just wanted to tell him that I’m thinking about taking a short vacation. Perhaps I’ll go to Myrtle Beach, read the Word, and spend some time with the Lord.”
“Where’s this coming from? I’ve never heard you mention Myrtle Beach before.”
“I’ve never been there.” Sister Betty turned to look out the window again. “There’s so many things I’ve never done before that I’d like to experience.”
Sharvon said nothing more. One of the many things Sister Betty had failed to mention was a trip down the aisle. She quickly sped up. Somehow after she took her cousin home, she was going to talk with Leotis. The sooner the old couple realized that what they’d had was just a misunderstanding, the quicker they could get back to making those wedding plans. And if she and Leotis couldn’t come up with something, she knew who could.
Chapter 14
The Tuesday afternoon following that Sunday’s morning service, Ima visited Sasha’s apartment. She went there to discuss the act she’d put on at the church. Since it’d been Sasha’s idea in the first place; Ima’s ego needed stroking. After all, she thought she’d put on quite a show, throwing herself upon the church’s altar while doing the same to Leotis’s libido.
It turned out that Ima would need to listen to Sasha rant about the pot roast that’d burned because she’d taken the church bus home.
Ima shot back in her seat at the kitchen table. She’d listened to enough. “I’ll take you to dinner, and you can order all the damn pot roast you want!”
“I want no profanity in my home!” Sasha slammed down the pot she’d just taken off the stove. “Respect my home, where the good Lord abides.”
“I see,” Ima replied as she stood and towered over her aunt. “When we discuss me tempting Leotis in front of God’s altar and congregation, making Leotis propose to me, and me becoming the first lady, that’s okay with the good Lord, who resides in your home?”
“I have my standards,” Sasha said stubbornly, looking up and almost bumping Ima on the chin with her bun. “You can always walk or drive them ten blocks back to your own low-rent apartment and stay hidden from anyone trying to deliver a certified letter, like you’ve been doing ever since you came back here. In that place you can do all the cussing you want, but in my home . . . my standards.”
“You don’
t have standards, Aunt Sasha. And I ain’t afraid of no pieces of paper, certified or otherwise. You’re having delusions.”
“Whatever I have,” Sasha said adamantly, “it still resides in my home.”
Suddenly the two women stepped back and burst into laughter. They hugged and did a quick two-step before going into Sasha’s living room.
“How long have we been going at one another like this?” Sasha teased.
“Since the day I could walk, talk, and learn to shut up and stay out of your business.” Ima’s eyes twinkled. “You know I love you like any true Hellraiser would.”
Sasha’s lips began to curl. “I know you put me out of your car and onto that slow-behind church bus, and then you told me that you’d changed your mind about going inside the church and taking Sharvon down a peg or two.”
“Like I said . . . ” Ima laughed, as though she’d not heard Sasha mention Sharvon’s name. “I love you like a true Hellraiser. Now, let’s discuss part two of the plan.”
However, Sasha insisted that Ima first eat before getting down to business. After serving the burnt pot roast she had saved from that past Sunday just for Ima, Sasha watched her niece pretend to enjoy what she was certain tasted like crow.
Back at Sister Betty’s house, Sister Betty rose, her knees stiff after having a long noonday prayer. Grabbing her Bible from its place on the table, she read a few scriptures, placing scallop-edged purple bookmarks between the pages she felt needed revisiting. Sharvon was back on her hectic schedule for the week, so for the most part, Sister Betty stayed home alone.
The one thing that brightened her day was news that Leotis was stopping by later that afternoon. Hearing the front doorbell, she smoothed her apron and went to answer the door.
Sister Betty Says I Do Page 15