by Toni Aleo
She watched as Markus nodded, but his face clearly showed he had no clue what Shea was speaking about. “I don’t understand.”
“Okay, say you pass it off. Instead of rushing with it, watching your forwards and your defensemen, you stand there, waiting for the play to come to you. I see it in your eyes, you’re getting ready for the next play, which is fine. But while you do that, you gotta be playing, moving, always moving, ready for anything. That’s why they always have the jump on you—because you’re just standing there. You’re doing better, but I think that’s a lot about Sinclair. He plays in his sleep, but I wanted to throw that at you, see if it helps a bit.”
Clearing his throat, Markus nodded once more as Elli Adler skated over. “I get what you’re saying. I hadn’t realized I just stand there.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s your downfall. But he did better this morning, didn’t he?” she asked, and Shea nodded.
“Yeah, because Sinclair was hollering at him. I’m surprised the guy has a voice left,” Shea laughed, and they both laughed along.
Mekena hadn’t realized Markus was struggling so much, and that bothered her. He was usually so good at everything he did, especially hockey. He had that in his back pocket. That was his jam.
Biting his lip, Markus looked over to Elli and smiled. “I really appreciate you both. Giving me this chance, talking to me about what I can do to be better.”
“Of course. You’re family, Markus,” Elli gushed, cupping his face, and he grinned over at her. She had the reputation of loving her players like her kids, and that was why they always played so damn well for her. Seeing her with them, Mekena saw it was true.
“And we want you to succeed. You could be a great asset to this team,” Shea added, and Markus looked a bit uncertain. It bothered Mekena that he hadn’t gone straight in. Yeah, he had his flaws, but he was a damn good player. Smart. She had been convinced he would step on to a team with a great contract. But he hadn’t, and she wasn’t sure what had happened. It was odd to her; it was also odd to see him so unsure of himself. He was always so confident in his play, in himself. And within seconds, she found herself worrying about him.
Fuck. Don’t do that!
Rolling her eyes at her stupidity, she made herself look at her phone. That was until Elli Alder said, “You’re Mekena Preston, right? The photographer?”
Mekena looked up at that just as Markus spoke up. “Yeah, best there is.”
Then he skated off. Like he had said nothing. He didn’t even look back to her. Swallowing hard, she looked up at Elli and smiled. “I am.”
“I have heard such amazing things about you,” she gushed, leaning on the boards, her green eyes piercing into Mekena’s soul.
Tucking her phone in her lap, she smiled. “Oh! Good!”
Elli smiled. “So, two things,” she said, all full of life. It was kind of a whirlwind between her grin and her country accent, and Mekena found herself a little dizzy. “I wanted to have a meeting with you.”
“A meeting?”
“Yes, whenever is good for you,” she added, standing up. “Soon, I hope. Before the season is in full swing. I’m looking for a full-time photographer, and my regular girl is having a baby. Usually, I’d hire out, but your name keeps being brought up. And I figured I’d offer it to someone young because my uncle took a chance on me so long ago.”
Mekena could only blink. Was this really happening? Wait, did she want this? She didn’t even think, though, she just spoke. “Wow. Okay. Yes, the sooner, the better.”
She guessed she did.
“Oh, thank God! I was hoping you’d say that. How about Monday? After all this crazy wedding stuff?”
Mekena was supposed to fly out Monday, but she could push that back. She would push it back. This was an offer from Elli Adler; she wasn’t going to give that up. She wasn’t sure why she was so excited, but instantly, she was. She hadn’t wanted to come home, so she wasn’t sure why she did all of a sudden, but she did.
“Of course. Eight a.m.?”
“You read my mind, and I’ll have the coffee.”
“God bless you,” Mekena said, and Elli grinned.
“Now, onto the second thing,” Elli said, her cheeks turning a little pink. “My sister-in-law told me that I had to introduce you to my nephew.”
A little taken aback, Mekena’s eyes widened. “Your nephew?”
“Yes, she told me she told you about him.”
“She did? Wait, who is your sister-in-law?”
“Grace Justice? The wedding planner?”
Oh! “Yes! Goodness. How did I miss that? I’m sorry. Her son… Ryan?”
“Yes! He’s here, and he wants to meet the girl Grace will not stop talking about.”
Yeah, Mekena was bright red. Hell, her whole body was burning with embarrassment. Grace Justice had been talking about her to her son? That wasn’t crazy at all. While she should be excited to meet a potential hottie, her eyes went across the ice to where Markus was doing leaps like a foolish idiot. But his grin told her he had no cares. She wanted to go over there, be goofy with him, but she knew she couldn’t. Swallowing hard, she nodded. “Oh. Well, let’s go, then.”
“Okay, come on. He’s over there with the kids,” Elli said, pointing to the other side of the rink, the side that had no other way to get to but to skate across the ice. Before Mekena could stop her, Elli took off, leaving Mekena with the intention for her to follow.
Shit.
Watching as Elli crossed the ice, saying hi to everyone she passed, Mekena knew she had to go. Standing, she wobbled a lot, but she still made it to the entry to the ice. She could do this. It wasn’t that hard. Just like walking—on water. No big deal.
Oh, God, she was going to die, and everyone was going to see it.
Swallowing hard, she stepped out on the ice and figured she could ride the side of the boards to him. Elli was already there, gushing over the kids and kissing all over the guy Mekena assumed was her nephew. And holy hot genes. Dark hair, bright blue eyes, and a jawbone that could slice the ice. He was beautiful, just like his uncle and his momma. Tall, too, and thick. Obviously a hockey player. That should have given her a little more confidence to skate over there, but instead, her fingers dug into the siding as she slowly made her way toward them.
When Elli looked up, Mekena let go of the sides and waved. “I’m a little slow. I’m coming!”
Elli said something to Ryan, whose eyes lit up when he looked over at her. As he detangled himself from the kids that were trying to climb him like a wall, she figured he was coming to help.
Oh, no, that was embarrassing.
No, she could skate. She had it!
Letting go of the siding, she went with ease. And at first, things were good. She was skating! But as well as it was going, it suddenly went very bad. She felt her knee bend funny and then her body start to fall. And as the ice came into view, she let out a cry, waiting for the ice to break not only her glasses but her nose too. Maybe her teeth.
But she didn’t fall.
No, instead, someone had her by her hips, pulling her up and to her feet.
“Whoa there, girlie. I thought you knew what you were doing?”
Markus.
Everything inside her went hot. Not from embarrassment but from pure, burning desire. Trying to catch her breath, she looked up at him, his eyes so dark, his mouth so close to her cheek as he smiled.
Crap. Crap on a cracker.
“Markus.”
“Yup, it’s me,” he said, grinning as he stood her on her feet. “Saving your life.”
His cologne made her dumb, and she was speechless as he let her go, skating around her to make sure she was upright.
“You okay?” She only nodded, unable to understand what effect he had on her. She hated how he made her feel. How he could make her forget everything and only want him. How stupid could she be?
“Really stupid.”
His brows quirked. “What?”
“Nothing,
sorry. I mean, thanks,” she fumbled, and he just kept smiling.
“Can you make it?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said sharply, her face beet red, feeling incredibly foolish.
“Wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight,” he said, steadying her. Though, she wasn’t steady.
No, she was pissed.
“I have not.”
“Dude, I can lift you over my head.”
“And I was so fat, you couldn’t before?”
“Whoa, I didn’t say that,” he said, giving her a look. “You’re just thinner. It took me off guard.”
“Yeah, guess I’m trying to look good.”
He eyed her, his eyes narrowing as she looked up to him. “You don’t have to try.” Her eyes dropped to his lips, and her heart nearly stopped as she could see his heart pound against his shirt. But then he looked away and said, “Oh, hey, Ryan!”
“Markus, what’s up?” he said, shaking hands.
“Nothing much. Have you met Mekena?”
“Actually, I was coming over to get her for my aunt,” he said, smiling sweetly, but all Mekena could do was try to stay upright and not lean into Markus like she wanted.
“Yeah, hi,” she mumbled, trying so hard to keep her feet from moving. But then her skate started to slide, and she was going down once more. She fully expected Ryan to catch her—she was falling toward him—but instead, Markus stopped her, his hand holding her right up under her arm. His fingers came within inches of the side of her breast.
“She’s not the strongest on skates,” he said to Ryan, who smiled charmingly.
“I can see that,” he said, and she glared back at Markus.
“I’m fine.”
He didn’t let her go, though. “You sure?”
Her stomach flipped a bit, her heart skipping a beat at the knowing grin on his face. “Yes, Ryan has me.” She reached out, digging her fingers into his arms and, thankfully, he steadied her as Markus let go.
“Yup, I got ya,” Ryan said, his lips curving. She wished like hell her stomach did a flip for that. Instead, all she felt were Markus’s hands all over her.
She yearned for more of his touch.
As she glanced back to him, she saw a flash of hurt in his eyes as Markus nodded knowingly. “I can see that. Have fun.”
He skated off.
And while Ryan guided Mekena toward Elli, where any sane person should want to go, she wished she was falling all over the place while Markus caught her, instead.
In his large hands.
The same hands that had held her sister.
The same hands she still ached for.
“Wow, you look like you have a lot on your mind.”
Markus looked over his shoulder at his best friend and shrugged. “Something like that.”
Jace laughed as he sat on the stool beside him, leaning his arms on the bar. The room was quiet; no one was there yet. Everyone else wouldn’t arrive for another thirty minutes for the karaoke party Lucy and Benji were throwing, which was why Markus was surprised to see Jace. He thought he had a little longer to figure out how he felt, to stuff it all away and act like he wanted to be there. But the truth was, he wanted to find a hole and live in it.
As he took a long pull of his beer, he remembered he had said he would stop drinking. But after the day he’d had, he figured he needed a beer or two. Especially if he had to be all cheerful and party-like to deal with everything at the event. He didn’t mind hanging with them all, especially since he liked everyone. Most of the team would be there, which was good. He could do some team building. But that would also mean he had to talk to Shea again about his game, which he wasn’t ready for. He was still trying to figure out what he’d meant before about not playing when he didn’t have the puck. Something he thought he did, but apparently, he was wrong. That should worry him, but it didn’t. All he cared about was the fact that he might have to see Mekena and Ryan together.
That alone was going to make him lose it.
The whole day at the rink, he’d watched Mekena, waited for her to get up so he could come help her. Just for the chance to touch her, to be close to her. The moment came and he rushed in, but then she skated off with Ryan Justice. He should be thankful, though. Ryan was a sweet kid, someone who could actually be good for Mekena. But in his heart, he was the only one for her, and watching as they laughed and Ryan tried to teach Mekena to skate…it just shook Markus to the core.
She really wasn’t his, nor would she ever be.
And because of that, he was drinking.
“What’s up?”
“Shea Adler was talking about my game, saying I don’t play unless I have the puck.”
Jace’s eyes narrowed as he nodded thoughtfully. “Usually ’cause you are thinking the next play through.”
“Yeah, but he said I stop and wait for the puck to come to me.”
“Yeah, yeah, you do,” he said with a nod. “But now that you know that, you can change it.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Though, I didn’t realize I did that.”
“Eh, it’s not a big deal.”
“But maybe that’s why I went to the Ninjas.”
“Probably.”
“And that is a big deal.”
“Yeah, but now you know, so change it, fix it, and get it done.”
“Easy for the Rookie of the Year to say.”
“Hey, not all of us can be as awesome as me.” Markus rolled his eyes, and Jace laughed as he slapped Markus’s back. “But, really, you got this. No worries at all.”
“Yeah, I hope so.”
“I know so,” he said, leaning into him and grinning back at him. “So other than that, what’s got you all butthurt? Mekena and Ryan?”
He could try to lie and Jace would let him, but instead, he shrugged. “I really fucked that all up.”
“Yup,” he said, nodding his head. “But word is that Mekena isn’t interested.”
“Really?” he said, whipping his head to Jace as he went rigid. “Avery say that?”
“Yeah, she asked. Mekena said he’s too young.”
“He’s basically her age.”
“Yeah, apparently, she likes old men,” Jace teased.
“Hm. Interesting.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re still in there, slugger,” he said, and Markus rolled his eyes again.
“Shut it, dumbass.” Jace kept laughing as Markus grinned, feeling a lot better about that. He had, of course, wondered, and knowing she didn’t care for the guy made him feel a lot better. But it also made him want to apologize even more. “She won’t give me a chance to talk to her.”
Jace’s brows rose. “You’re sharing a cabin. I’m sure you can find a time.”
“She’s never there, and then when we’re out, she’s always doing something. I don’t know.”
“Well, you better do it before she flies off back home and you don’t see her.”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure she wants me to move out on Friday, though, and then I’m damn sure I won’t see her.”
“Yeah, you probably won’t.”
“Yeah.”
Silence settled between the two men as they looked up to the TV, a baseball game on. Neither of them cared for the sport, but it allowed Markus a moment to gather his thoughts. He knew his time with Mekena was precious, that at any moment she would disappear and he wouldn’t get the closure he needed so badly. But every time he gathered his words and he was ready to apologize, all he could think was that that would be it. He’d walk away and she would too, when all he wanted was to be with her, love her. But how could that ever happen? She might never forgive him, and she sure as hell would never trust him again.
A part of him wanted to confront Skylar. Make her own up to what she did, but what would that do? Maybe he did need closure from her too. To know that he wasn’t really a douche, that she tricked him into it. It was killing him because he wasn’t that guy. He wanted to be the decent guy in a sea of douches. He wanted to b
e someone a woman wanted. He wanted to make people happy, and above all, love his life, but he couldn’t do that with a million pounds of guilt on him. No, he had to do something.
After talking to Baylor the night before, he realized he needed to talk. Which was probably why he had been thinking so much about the therapy the Assassins offered. He had to get all this crap off his chest. He had to talk about what happened, to give it light. While he still wouldn’t fully accept that it could have been rape, he felt better knowing that, while he shouldn’t have put himself in that position, at least he had people behind him and he wasn’t a bad guy. Dumb, but not a bad guy. On top of everything else, Baylor was right, one hundred percent. He had to apologize to Mekena, and he had to confront Skylar. He wasn’t sure when, he wasn’t even sure how or in what order, but for him to move on, to enjoy life once more, he had to do those things.
Or he would forever drown in his guilt.
“What if she doesn’t believe me?”
Jace looked over, confused. “Huh?”
“Mekena, what if I tell her what happened with Skylar, and she doesn’t believe me?”
Jace chewed on his lip for a moment as he looked up at the screen. “I don’t know, man. Guess we just hope she does.”
“Do you think she’d take me back?” Markus asked, and he hadn’t even meant to. He knew the answer, but for some reason, he wanted to hear it from Jace’s mouth. He wanted to know that he too thought Markus was insane for even thinking she’d take him back. It was just so hard, though. When they were together, things were good. He felt her falling into him when he caught her on the ice. The way she looked into his eyes, at his lips, she wanted him. Yeah, he fucked up—he did, and he’d own up to that until his dying day—but they were great together.
Perfect, even.
Jace finally looked over at him, and he paused. Maybe he should just laugh it off. Let it go. Jace didn’t answer for a long time, so long that Markus didn’t think he would, but then he looked back to him and shrugged. “I think that if you two belong together, it will work out.”