by Keim, Joe
The customer agreed. “Sure, come on out and practice as much as you want.”
After several hours of practice, I felt comfortable. The interview and welding test went well, and I got the job making $3.35 an hour, which was minimum wage at the time. I will never forget how great it felt to cash that first week’s check.
At first we stayed with someone, but eventually moved into our own apartment. We pretty much lived any way we wanted. My dad constantly came into the welding shop where I worked to remind me I was living with my girlfriend and that sex outside of marriage was wrong. “You’ll go to hell,” he reminded me.
I didn’t see his reaching out like this as a display of love because he cared about what would happen to me. I considered him to be meddlesome and judging. I justified my behavior and lifestyle by letting him know that at least I wasn’t going from one woman to another.
I also did what so many others do when they leave the Amish – I threw all the rules out the back door. And since I knew so little about the Bible, I often wasn’t sure if the rules were generated by the Amish or if they were actually biblical.
Salvation
God had another plan to reach me. A former Amish family from my community moved in to the apartment next to ours. Paul and his wife, Miriam, had been saved a few years earlier through a Bible study with English people. Because of their openness and evangelism to other Amish families in my community, Paul’s concerned parents had come from Wisconsin to try to talk their son and wife out of going to the Bible studies. They were afraid Paul and Miriam would leave the Amish. One January night, while their parents were in the house, Paul, Miriam, and their tiny daughter escaped by crawling out a second-story window and down a ladder. They left their house, property, belongings, and farm animals behind and fled to Kentucky, where they lived for about a year.
When they heard, however, that Esther and I had left the Amish, Paul and Miriam decided to move back to Ohio, and they became our neighbors. They lived right next door to our apartment. Paul tried his best to share the gospel with me, but I didn’t want anything to do with it. I figured I had to obey my parents and return to the Amish if I wanted to go to heaven.
From my perspective, Paul and his family seemed to be constantly going to church or some preacher’s conference. They attended a mid-sized Baptist church about fifteen minutes out of town. Paul would come home from church all fired up about Jesus. He continually reminded us that we needed to get saved and that the church was praying for us. Much of what he shared did not agree with what Esther and I had been taught growing up; therefore, we blocked most of it out. Besides, I wanted as little to do with church as possible. As far as I was concerned, Esther and I would never let another church corner us and put us in a box where we didn’t fit.
Whenever my dad came to visit us, he’d voice his concern about Paul and Miriam.
“Be very cautious with Paul, because he and Miriam have a strange belief.”
I’d agree with Dad and say there’s no such thing as getting saved on the spot and having assurance of heaven before we die. Not only did it seem prideful to believe in assurance of salvation, but from Paul’s conversations, it sounded like a saved person could live his life any way he wanted and still be accepted by God. Surely he was wrong!
As time went on, Paul brought his pastor to see me. Pastor John Bouquet was a single young man who had just taken over Bethel Baptist Church as senior pastor. He was about my height and had enough energy to move a train. On one occasion, Pastor John invited me to sit in his car. He opened his Bible and began to share how man was not able to save himself from his own sin. Going to church and becoming a member would not take our sin away. Being Amish wouldn’t save us from our sins. Being baptized wouldn’t do it. Therefore, Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, was sent to our planet to die on the cross. It was through His sacrifice – death, burial, and resurrection – that we could have our sins washed away and receive everlasting life.
The pastor went on to say there was only one way to heaven, and it wasn’t the Baptist way, nor was it the Amish or Catholic way. It was the Jesus way. He further explained that in John 14:6, the Bible says: Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. Jesus didn’t say “I am a way, a truth, and a life.” He claimed to be the way, the truth, and the life. Jesus left no room for other means of salvation. John 10:1 says: He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.
My guard was up. I refused to allow Paul’s or the pastor’s words to sink in. In my mind, I had grown up Amish, and in order to be right with God, I had to go back to the Amish, clean my life up, start obeying my parents, and submit to the church rules our forefathers had established. There was no other way.
At my workplace, my boss also witnessed to me. I soon learned his church believed you had to believe in Jesus plus get baptized and belong to his denomination in order to be saved. Suddenly, confusion set in, and I began to evaluate all the different beliefs in the world. One church said Jesus alone can save us. Another said you have to believe in Jesus, get baptized, and join their denomination. Back home, they believed I had to obey my parents, get baptized, join the Amish church, follow the ordinance letter, and separate myself from the outside world.
For several weeks, I pondered all the things I was learning about God. But why was it that my boss, the Baptist pastor, and the Amish all read from the same Bible but walked away with different interpretations? One day it came to me how my boss and the Amish both pointed to their church as a means of salvation. They hadn’t eliminated Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross, but both parties believed their denomination was God’s favorite, and somehow, unless a person became a member of their church, he couldn’t be saved. On the other hand, Paul and the Baptist pastor hardly ever mentioned their denomination. They just kept pointing me to Jesus Christ.
While I tried to sort through all the confusion in my mind, I remembered a sermon I once heard while Amish.
The minister said, “It’s like this! The people of the world are all making their way toward God on different sides of the mountain. When we get to the top, God will sort it all out.” He went on to say, “According to Ephesians 6:2, God’s first commandment to children everywhere is to obey their parents. If your parents are Amish, obey and follow their teachings. If you were born and raised in some other religious system, obey and follow their teachings.”
And then the preacher concluded by giving out the ever famous quote: “Bloom where God planted you and you will be in the center of His will.”
One hot July Sunday afternoon Paul said, “I need a little time with you away from all the noise.”
He had just come home from church and was all fired up and determined to talk to me about Jesus. I hesitated, but agreed and got in his car. I remember the day well. It was July 28, 1985.
Paul took me through town and out in the country. Finally, he slowed down and turned into a driveway. We got out of the car and slowly walked to a grassy spot and sat down. Paul pulled his Bible out and explained that the book of Romans tells a person how to get saved from sin and hell. He opened to Romans and began reading.
Paul said, “Every single person on the face of the earth stands before God a sinner. It makes no difference if the person grew up in a Christian home, has gone to church all his life, gotten baptized, or is in full-time ministry. The Bible says: There is none righteous, no, not one (Romans 3:10).”
“I know I’m a sinner,” I admitted with a shrug.
However, in my mind there were bad sinners and good sinners. And since I had never committed a crime so bad it landed me in prison, I considered myself on the side of the good sinners. Then I went on to tell him about my Uncle Albert.
“He was a deacon in the Amish church. If anyone will go to heaven, it is Uncle Alb
ert.” He was the most honest man I ever met. He was kindhearted and caring. He served the church with much compassion and often cried when people were hurting. “Surely,” I said, “if anyone in the world is going to heaven, it’s Uncle Albert.”
Paul quickly responded, “In Romans 3:23, the Bible says, For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, even Uncle Albert.”
At that moment, I felt heavy scales lifting away from the eyes of my heart. It was so real! For the first time in my life, I understood sin as described in the Bible. In a moment, I realized there was no such thing as good sinners and bad sinners.
Paul continued. “In another part of the Bible, it says, Whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all (James 2:10).”
This helped me understand that it’s not a matter of doing the best we can or doing better than someone else. It’s all or nothing. We have to be perfect, because breaking the slightest commandment is like breaking them all. If we never steal, kill, or commit adultery but fail to love God with all our hearts, souls, and strength, we are just as guilty as the murderer.
That day, the Holy Spirit taught me that I fall short. There’s no way possible for me to be good enough to go to heaven. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 6:23). The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ, not through the Amish church, not by being baptized at seventeen or because I did something special, but because of Jesus Christ. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast (Ephesians 2:8-9). Paul said salvation is not of works; it isn’t something you work for, but it is a gift from God. Like any gift, it has to be received, and whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13).
When Paul asked if I would like to call on the Lord for salvation, I couldn’t help but say yes. I was utterly convicted of my sins and realized there was only one way out of my mess and that was to fully trust in Jesus Christ and what He did for me on the cross. As we bowed our heads before God and began to pray, the Holy Spirit came upon me. It was as if God opened the doors of heaven and poured out an immeasurable amount of love on me. I felt all my sins being washed away. It was so real! I cried and cried. The love of God entered my heart. I had no doubt but that I had an encounter with the living God.
Later in life, after I began to study the Bible, I realized even more what had taken place that day in July of 1985. When one is born into God’s family, many things happen instantly:
The believer is instantly reconciled to God, becomes a new creation, and is forgiven for all his sins (2 Corinthians 5:17-19).
The believer is delivered from the power of darkness (Colossians 1:13).
The believer is sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13; 4:30).
The believer is perfected forever (Hebrews 10:14).
The believer has eternal life and shall never perish (John 10:28).
Jesus said, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, HATH everlasting life, and SHALL NOT come into condemnation; but is PASSED from death unto life (John 5:24, emphasis added). Everlasting life is not a future experience that takes place after we die (John 3:36; 6:47). Jesus said those who believe on Him have everlasting life now. John 17:3 defines everlasting life as knowing the only true God and Jesus Christ. This is talking about intimacy with God, and that is everlasting life.
I went back to the apartment and told Esther.
“I can’t fully explain what all took place today, but I know I got saved.”
At first, she seemed almost angry that I had fallen for Paul’s strange beliefs. After several arguments and much persistence on my part, Esther agreed she would visit the Baptist church with me.
The next Sunday we went, and it just so happened that the pastor preached on salvation. My girlfriend was sitting straight up in her pew and taking every word to heart. She remembered reading some storybooks that introduced her to the message of salvation, and she always wondered about it. When she was in the fifth grade, the Gideons showed up at her one-room schoolhouse and handed her an English New Testament, which she often read and tried to understand. At a young age, the Holy Spirit had already begun a work in her heart preparing her for this day.
When the sermon came to an end, the pastor extended an invitation to anyone searching for God and wanting to be saved. By now, tears painted wet streaks on Esther’s cheeks. She wanted to know how she, too, could be born again. Slowly she left her seat and moved into the aisle to walk forward to the altar. One of the older ladies took her into the back room and explained the gospel. She heard the same good news, believed it with her whole heart, and was saved.
Now that Esther and I were born again, the Holy Spirit convicted us about living together before marriage. The thought of separating seemed unbearable. To get married in the English culture wasn’t something I wanted to do, because truthfully, I had always dreamed of having an Amish wedding.
Several weeks later, Dad came to visit me.
“Joe, I’m going to give you a choice. If you come back to the Amish within the next two weeks, I’ll take you back, but if you don’t, I’ll cut you off. You can’t come back on the property. You can’t see any other family, either.”
That really hit me hard. I couldn’t imagine never going back, never seeing the rest of my family. Esther didn’t want to follow me back to the Amish, but I said, “Promise me that if I go back and stay a month, you will follow me.”
Reluctantly, she promised. I sold my car and returned home.
Chapter 11
Shunning
Soon after I came back, the deacon of the church pressured me to go to town with him and destroy all worldly evidence that was still connected to me. First, we drove to the place where I had gotten my driver’s license a few months earlier. When we arrived, the two of us got out of our buggy and walked inside to get in line to talk with one of the ladies behind the counter.
As always, the line was long and customers looked at us as if we were from another planet. But there we were, all dressed in Amish garb, standing out like sore thumbs. I’m sure everybody wondered what in the world two Amish men were doing at the driver’s license bureau.
We finally made it all the way to the front of the line.
“We are here today because of Joe and his driver’s license. I’d like for you to go into your system and destroy all evidence of his records,” the deacon said.
To say I was embarrassed is an understatement, but my parents and the church leaders felt my identity with the world must become nonexistent, and they didn’t want me carrying a photo ID around in my pocket for fear it would break the second commandment, Exodus 20:4: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
The ladies at the license bureau had never done anything like this before, so they grouped together and discussed the situation in whispering tones. We could hear them giggling and glancing back at us. I wanted to die. Why did I ever go back to the Amish? Finally, they came back and said all trace of my identity had been wiped from their system.
“If you ever change your mind about driving a car, you’ll have to retake the driving test and apply for another license.”
From the license bureau, we went to the music store where Esther had bought me a fiddle for Christmas. I loved musical instruments and wanted so badly to learn how to play the fiddle. For several months, I had taken music lessons and I was doing quite well on the strings. But now that I was Amish again, the fiddle had to go. The guy at the music store said, “No problem, we can sell it for you,” and we left it.
A few weeks later, I called Esther and asked if she would go back to the store and g
et the fiddle again, and she did. She brought it to me, and I hid it underneath my bed.
An old saying, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still,” contains a lot of truth. What I found with myself and others in the Amish community was that many times because of the stringent church rules, we lived double lives. On numerous occasions, a young person left the community because of the weight and guilt that came with living a double life.
John, a member of the Old Order Amish church, once told me the true story of how he carried a forbidden cell phone in his pocket. He worked alongside his older brother Amos, who followed and lived the Amish law to a tee. Amos was known to turn anybody in to the church deacon for breaking a church rule. One time when John’s cell phone started vibrating in his pocket, he quickly left the building, went out the back door, and crawled through the long weeds on hands and knees. John kept going deeper and deeper into the weeds to make sure Amos would not see or hear him respond to the phone call.
Finally, he felt safe. But as he reached into his pocket for the phone, he heard someone else talking just a few feet away. It was his brother Amos, also hiding in the weeds and calling someone from his own phone.
Jesus had this to say about hypocrisy:
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. (Matthew 23:27-28)
Because I was a member of the church, I was shunned for a season, at least until my hair grew back from really short to over my ears. This would take about two months. During this time, I couldn’t eat with my family and had to sit at a separate table by myself. Church was the same; everyone observed my shame. It was very humiliating.