by Peter Boland
Her feet took her in the direction of the main shopping area in Woolwich. This was purely by accident. Tanya was putting one foot in front of the other without thinking why. Her mind had plunged into a deep and thoughtful mood. Walking usually helped slot things into place. Not this time. Her brain didn’t seem to be firing properly and random thoughts collided with each other like asteroids in space. Little explosions were going off. It was like her head was being rewired.
Shops were closing all around her. Doors got bolted and people were politely asked to leave. Some were still open, mostly clothes shops and Tanya walked into a few just for something to do. Stupid day-glo signs hung everywhere shouting out buy-one-get-one free offers. It seemed like nothing was its normal price. None of the clothes really interested her. They all looked the same and she had no money anyway so it was all completely pointless. It was just a distraction. She needed something to take her mind off the fireworks that were happening in her head.
Tanya quickly exhausted the number of clothes shops to waste time in. Then she saw that Waterstones was still open. It was the one shop she’d never been into, maybe apart from the gourmet pasty shop, which seemed like the dumbest idea ever. Pasties were what you ate when you were pissed, how could they be gourmet?
Tanya crossed the threshold and was hit by that freshly minted book smell; a new experience for her. She’d been in the library at school before but only because she had to. All the books in there smelt stale and old, like a damp mattress.
This smell was different, crisp and clean, but Tanya still didn’t get the point of books. They were boring, for sad people with no life. Magazines she could understand. They had pictures of fit people who were busy being famous and hanging out in places she’d never be able to get into. Sometimes Tanya wished she could climb into the shiny photos and do what they were doing. To be part of their perfect photoshopped lives. Whereas hers felt like it had been painted with the shitty end of a stick. Their world was all flashbulbs and red carpets, and being on guest lists to exclusive night clubs where the drinks were free and tidy blokes queued up just to talk to you. It gave Tanya a warm tingle whenever she fantasised about being in that world of celebrity magazines. But books, they were just all words, like a load of dry old sawdust.
As she wandered around looking at the pretty covers a shop assistant whose staff t-shirt was too tight for him asked if she needed any help.
He had a small pot belly that stuck out like it was trying to escape from the rest of him. An odour of sickly sweet sweat hung around him in a cloud. A couple of friendship bands were lassoed around his fat wrist. Definitely a student.
“Is there anything I can help you find?” he asked.
Tanya was about to say no when she changed her mind.
“Yeah, do you have anything on whales?”
“We do. Everyone’s gone mad since the Thames Whale. Nearly cleared us out. I think we’ve got a couple left over here.”
Tanya tagged along behind his adolescent stench, to the back of the store where there was a section entitled Natural History. She didn’t understand what that meant, but she could see all the books perched there had lush pictures of wild animals in dramatic poses. Eagles picking fish out of lakes and lions chasing leaping gazelles.
One area of shelving was almost empty, apart from a couple of large glossy hardbacks that had toppled over and were now leaning at an angle like fallen trees.
“This was full this morning. All the paperbacks on whales have gone. All we’ve got left are these hardbacks. They’re a bit more expensive, but the photography is beautiful.”
He picked up the larger of the two books and flicked through to a double page spread. He held it out for Tanya to see. A humpback was punching straight out of a perfect blue ocean. Sunlight bounced off its glistening body. It looked unreal, like it had been CGIed onto the page. Tanya couldn’t believe that this beautiful thing existed in the same world she lived in.
It took her a few seconds to realise her mouth was open. She clamped it closed. An instinctive reaction. It was never good to look too impressed at anything around here, it made you look weak. She was in denial, though. The creature on the page was awesome. Like something from a fantasy world inhabited by unicorns and elves. The idea that the same creature as this was lying on a filthy river bank didn’t seem possible.
“I’ll leave you to it,” he said, handing her the book.
Tanya stared at the image, nearly forgetting to blink until her eyes went crusty. She flicked to the next page as more wonderful eye candy flashed against her retinas. Each shot revealed more and more humpback antics as they cavorted in midair, their massive leaps sticking two fingers up at gravity.
Then Tanya did something quite irrational and out of character. She started reading. Tanya sucked down information, as if the words might disappear and be lost forever at any moment. She didn’t even realise she was doing it until the fat boy tapped her on the shoulder.
“I’m sorry we’re about to close,” he said.
Tanya nodded and when he walked away she closed the book and held it out, as if she was trying to decide whether to buy it or not. It was all an act. She knew she wanted it and the charade gave her time to work out how to get it out of the shop without paying for it.
She’d never stolen a book before. She’d stolen everything else: clothes, jewellery, make up, music, drink, her dad’s money – but never anything with pages.
Tanya did a Jason Bourne and slyly checked the store, gathering intel. Things like the layout and where the exit was in relation to the counter. She clocked just two members of staff. The fat boy who was now behind the till and an older female assistant who was talking to a customer. She wouldn’t be a problem, but getting past him could prove difficult. The book was too big to hide anywhere so Tanya opted for a technique that had served her well in the past. Do the opposite of what a shoplifter was supposed to do.
Tanya tucked the book under her arm and headed for the tills.
She looked straight into the boy’s eyes. He smiled back at her. Perfect. Now he trusts me, thought Tanya. Her face was a mask of calm even though the palms of her hands betrayed her. They were sweaty and slid against the glossy dust jacket of the book like a squeegee on wet glass. She took comfort that she’d done this a hundred times before and had got away with it.
She handed him the book and he scanned it with a gun that made a high pitched tweet. Then he pushed it into a carrier bag and laid it on the counter.
“That’s £39.99 please.”
Tanya made a pantomime of digging in her jeans for some notes.
“Dictionary,” she said.
“What?” the boy asked.
“I completely forgot what I came in for. A dictionary. I need a little one for school.”
“Oh, we have loads of those, right at the far wall.”
“Could you get me one? It’s going to take me ages to get my cash out of my pocket – these jeans are so-o tight.”
Tanya pushed her hands into her skinny jeans as close to her crotch as she could. The boy swallowed. A bit of titillation was always good for a distraction.
He obeyed and left the till, taking his access card with him. It was on a lanyard around his neck. Tanya waited until he was nearly at the reference section where the dictionaries were kept. The timing had to be perfect so she would have the biggest head start. He got there and dropped to his knees to check out the mini dictionaries on the bottom shelf. That would buy her an extra second or two.
Tanya’s long lean legs catapaulted her out of the store and into the street. She made a hard right turn and ran for it. The carrier bag crashed against her shins as her arms pumped up and down and her feet stabbed at the pavement. For someone who hated sports, she was built for sprinting, the only thing stopping her from achieving light speed was last night’s bingeing.
“Hey, stop!”
She recognised the voice behind her and was impressed. The fat boy was quicker off the mark than she thought. N
o bother, she could easily out run him. He didn’t look like the type to chase shoplifters. People stared at her as she ran past but no-one tried to stop her. A few seconds later he had closed the gap. His heavy breaths were getting closer and closer. They sounded like bombs going off. Tanya kicked down hard to shake him. He kept pace. Damn this guy wouldn’t quit.
All this running was doing her head in. Pools of sweat gathered in her armpits. It was only a matter of time before she started smelling like the guy chasing her. Maybe that was the reason for his BO: chasing shoplifters all day.
Now she was getting fed up, or was it tiredness? Time to end this. Tanya locked on to a group of blokes heading out for the night. She zeroed in on their position. They were all dressed the same – short sleeved shirts, jeans and smart shoes – their pulling gear, no doubt. They were ready for a big boozing session, and then either a fuck or a fight. So predictable. Tanya ran at them, eyes wide in terror.
“Help, help, that guy’s after me,” Tanya screamed.
Their jovial mood and friendly boyish piss-taking suddenly stopped. They all switched into protective-man mode. Faces harsh, knuckles clenched, shoulders high. Adrenalin did the rest. Not that it really needed to, there were five of them and only one of poor Waterstones boy.
“Don’t worry, love, you’re safe now,” one of them growled. “Get behind us, he won’t touch you.”
Tanya ignored him and just kept on running. A second later they had him. She didn’t look back but she could hear his rapid, breathless explanations. They weren’t listening. A fight was what they wanted and good fortune had given them one that was easy to win. Thump after thump followed. The low thick sound of flesh being pummelled by bare knuckles.
Tanya slowed her running to a jog when she knew she was clear of the brawl she had created. A bit of guilt rose up like bile in her throat. She quickly swallowed it back. Bad stuff always happened to her so why not somebody else. It was like reverse karma.
She zig-zagged her way through the streets, just in case he’d managed to survive the beating and was still after her. It was highly unlikely, but you never knew.
Tanya found herself back at the river. The crowd had shrunk but it was still impossible to get even the tiniest glimpse of the whale. The police made sure of that. Did they really need all those coppers just to protect one lost whale? Thinking about all the nutcases in London, they probably did.
Tanya gave up, but only for now. She would figure out a way of getting to see the whale, that was for sure. No. seeing it wasn’t good enough. She wanted to be near it and stand beside it. To touch its skin and hear its heart beat, if it were possible. The whale had come to her first, she had a claim to it, she had a right to be with it; not all these complete strangers. They were nobodies.
Tanya clenched her teeth so the muscles in her jaw stood out. She would find a way through that crowd and past those dumb coppers. It would take a little time, but she would find a way. For now she would have to make do with her book. Well, technically it still belonged to Waterstones. No matter, her need was greater than theirs.
Tanya pointed herself in the direction of home and let devious thoughts flood her brain. Hopefully her dad would let her back into the flat, it was crucial for what she was about to do.
Chapter 7
Lena found the tower block without too much problem. It was a place most people avoided, unless you had to live there. It was deserted outside, apart from the skeleton of a car that was up on bricks and had been picked clean of anything that could be sold or smashed. Lena thought she was from a tough estate, but this was in the Premier league. A little shiver crossed her shoulder blades but she shrugged it off.
As she approached the base of the tower, she could make out several figures leaning against the walls inside the lobby. Dressed in black hoodies they looked like phantoms. After dark, this tower belonged to them, they were the gatekeepers and no-one came in or out without paying for it.
Lena pushed open the lobby doors, which hung on tortured hinges. Inside it reeked of piss and violence. Seb and Mack stood like sentries guarding the entrance. They nodded to Lena with blank expressions, keeping their communications to a minimum to preserve their hard exterior.
“All right?” said Lena. Her voice sounded small.
“Hey, it’s our favourite wannabe,” said Vicks.
“Nah, she’s a soon-to-be, this one,” said Duff, “I gotta good feeling about you.”
The whole gang was crammed into the lobby and stood around her. Lena felt defensive, Vicks immediately read her expression.
“Don’t look worried, Lena. We’re all cool here.”
“I ain’t worried,” Lena said. “So what’s happening?”
“You’re what’s happening,” said Duff. “Tonight is your initiation.”
Everyone howled spontaneously. Gem started punching the walls a little too enthusiastically.
“We lurve initiations,” said Vicks.
Lena looked around at all the demented faces. She still didn’t know who to trust, or if she could trust any of them. She wished Tanya was by her side.
“You ready, girl?” said Duff.
“Okay,” Lena said, forcing a smile.
“Let’s do it then.”
The gang tumbled out of the lobby and into the cool night air. Duff and Vicks led the way. They were laughing and making in-jokes that Lena didn’t understand. The only ones who didn’t join in were Seb and Mack; they were busy scanning the area, looking for any signs of trouble.
Lena was glad to be out of the lobby, she had felt trapped and vulnerable. It was better to be on the move, although a small knot of fear twisted around deep in her gut.
They walked on and on through the streets. Lena knew them well but tonight they seemed different – with the gang surrounding her it was as if she owned them. Wandering the streets usually meant having your eyes everywhere. Trouble was always lurking somewhere. The danger hadn’t disappeared but now she had back-up. Her very own security force, watching her back. It was a powerful feeling and she could see why gang life was so addictive. It wasn’t a gang it was more like being in a tribe. Her confidence grew and if it wasn’t for the looming initiation, she would have put more swagger in her step.
Every so often they would stop and let Gem scrawl a Niners’ tag on a lamppost with a permanent marker, like a dog marking its territory. Lena watched his hand move like a machine, duplicating the same distinctive motif.
Nin9rs
Lena realised everyone had roles to play in this gang. She wondered what hers would be if she passed the initiation.
“Where are we going?” said Lena.
“To a little shop,” said Vicks.
“What are we buying?” asked Lena. The whole gang laughed at once, even Seb and Mack managed a smile.
“We ain’t buying, we’re taking,” said Duff. “Well, you are.”
“What am I taking?” asked Lena.
“We’re doing a bit of work for charity.”
Everyone smiled. Lena still didn’t get it. She pictured the gang washing cars like boy scouts to raise money for the RSPCA. Maybe gang life wasn’t all fighting and drinking. Perhaps they were trying to change their image, be a bit more neighbourly. Lena wasn’t sure she wanted to do anything for charity; giving money away to someone else was crazy.
“Are you serious?” said Lena. “I don’t really do work for no charities.”
“Lena, do you really think we’d waste our time doing that,” said Vicks.
“No, not really.”
“This charity is going to give to us,” said Duff. “See that store across the street on the corner?”
Lena saw the unmistakable London corner shop with a flat above it and a metal grill over the window and door.
“There’s a charity collection box on the counter.”
“What charity is it?” asked Lena. More laughter came from everyone.
“Don’t worry about that,” said Duff. “This is dead simple. You go in fi
rst, have a browse, pick up some spaghetti or something, as if you’re gonna buy it. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“Now, Mack’s going to come in, when he does, move to the till, you’ll see the collection box on the counter. But don’t take it yet, keep browsing. A second later, Seb’s going to come in and start a fight with Mack. When it kicks off the store keeper’s gonna break it up, he’ll be distracted. That’s when you go for the box and get out quick.
“What about Mack and Seb?” asked Lena.
“Don’t worry about us,” said Mack. It was the first time she’d heard him speak, his voice sounded soft and didn’t go with his tough exterior.
“We can take care of ourselves,” Seb added, “just make sure you get out of there.” His voice was also quiet but confident.
“You ready?” asked Duff.
“Yep,” said Lena.
“I’d get your race face on if I was you,” said Vicks. Lena didn’t understand what that meant. She didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to look stupid.
“Okay, go to it, then.”
Lena hesitated, as the information filtered through her mind. She wasn’t frightened and had nicked things from shops plenty of times before. But it had been when an opportunity had presented itself, a spur of the moment thing. This was different. She had to follow a plan. She had just heard the instructions but her mind couldn’t keep hold of them. Maybe she should go back and get Duff to repeat them. No, that would make her look even more stupid.
Lena strode as confidently as she could towards the door. She was aware of her hands swinging too much, like a cartoon character so she anchored them in her pockets.
Inside, the store had rows of high dusty shelves with a long counter near the door. Two heavy men sat behind it talking in a foreign language that was probably Polish. They both ignored her, which pleased Lena. She glanced over at the counter but couldn’t see the charity box. There was too much stuff piled by the till. All she could see were racks of chewing gum and scratch card dispensers. Confusion nailed Lena to the spot. Should she keep moving or stay there looking awkward, until she’d spotted the box?