by Peter Boland
Lena gave out a weak laugh, “I’ve never been shocked in my life, usually I’m the one doing the shocking. Mad, eh? Then I see two crazy things: one horrible, one beautiful and in between I nearly get raped. It’s not like when you see that stuff on the telly. It’s all far away, but this is different, it’s too real. I can feel it inside my skull like it’s alive.”
“I know,” said Tanya putting her arm around her Lena.
“I want the horrible things to go away.”
There wasn’t anything Tanya could say to make that happen. All she could do was hold her tightly like she did when she found her at the burning car and hope somehow it did go away.
“I should go to the police,” Lena said suddenly.
“No, definitely not,” Tanya spoke quickly to snuff out Lena’s idea. “You didn’t kill that guy. We’ve been through this before.”
“But I was there.”
“So what? It doesn’t mean anything. The worse thing you did tonight was throw a brick and nick some phones. You didn’t even get a phone. Plus, you nearly got raped. I think you’ve paid your dues. We can deal with this. Okay.”
“I don’t think I can?”
“Think about what else happened tonight. You saw something unreal. You helped rescue a whale. He didn’t give up did he? He kept on until he was out of that stinking place and away from those shitty people. Think about him, okay, whenever you feel the fear coming, you just think of him.”
“Okay.”
Tanya held onto her friend all night until tiredness overwhelmed them both. They slept where they were on the sofa until the sun’s rays poked through the thin curtains of the lounge. They awoke to the sound of Lena’s mum putting the kettle on and the whine of the cheap portable TV that sat on top of the fridge in the kitchen.
“How you feeling?” asked Tanya.
“Tired and my legs ache like fuck.”
“Me too.”
“Lena held her hand above her eyes to shield them. “It’s sunny.”
“Yeah, not a bad start to the day. How’s your head? Still messed up?”
“Sort of, but it’s definitely better. Things always seem worse at night. Daytime’s much easier to handle.”
The two girls sat in silence for a while, squinting at the morning sunlight.
“He was good-looking, you know,” Lena said suddenly.
“Who?”
“The Indian guy. Somehow it makes it worse, don’t it? I mean why should it matter what he looked like. Shot is shot, whoever you are.”
Tanya couldn’t think of anything to say. Her friend had been to a place that she couldn’t understand and didn’t want to. It was something she hoped she would never have to go through. For now, all she could do was just be there for her. She hoped it would be enough.
Lena turned and faced her.
“Tanya, something else happened last night that I need to tell you about.”
“What?” Tanya sat up, amazed there could be any more to come out of last night’s events. “Tell me.”
“We started the riots - the Niners and me.”
“Yeah, I know. You told me.”
“Duff was the one who had the idea to make it kick off. He found out about this group that met in a pub, secretly like, and we spread the word about them.”
“What kind of group.”
“Neo-Nazis. They call themselves the BFB – Britain for the British.”
“What’s that got to do with me?”
“Well, the police tried to get them out of the pub and that’s when the riot started.”
“I still don’t get it.”
“I think your dad was one of them. I saw him coming out with all the rest.”
“He could have just been drinking in there. You know, at the bar.”
“Oh yeah, totally. I could be completely wrong. I just thought you should know.”
Tanya skipped breakfast and left Lena’s immediately. Her clothes had been washed and ironed and were still warm from where they’d been hanging on the radiator. But the warmth did nothing to change the chill Tanya felt. She always knew her dad was scum and white trash, but this new piece of news gave her a whole different perspective on him. She had to know if it was true.
As she walked back home she tried to think of what to do if he did turn out to be a racist. Spit in his face? Report him? Grass him up to some black power group and watch them beat the crap out of him? None of these seemed to satisfy the rage bubbling up from her stomach. She realised she wanted answers. Why was he a Nazi? Was it even possible to be a Nazi if you had a black daughter? It certainly made sense why he had been such a wanker to her all his life. She was the black thorn in his white-skinned side. No wonder he didn’t want her hanging around the flat just in case his fascist buddies turned up.
Her mind went back to the night he stopped her from going into the lounge. The people he had round must have been from the BFB. He didn’t want them to see her. Otherwise he’d probably have been thrown out of their little racist gang. And what was in that box he had in the lounge? He didn’t want her going near it. The two things were connected and she was going to find out how.
Tanya quietly opened the front door – he’d left it unlocked again. It was still early in the morning so there was a good chance he’d be passed out. She found him straight away in the lounge lying on his back with his mouth open, his rhythmic snores like water lapping against the shore. The air was filled with the fumes of last night’s drinking and a bottle of whiskey lay by his side.
Tanya looked around for the box but it was no longer there. She searched the whole flat, peering in cupboards and riffling through drawers. There was no sign of it. She went into the bathroom and sat on the loo trying to think. Where would he have put it? There was a strong possibility it wasn’t in the flat anymore. He already knew Tanya had light fingers and was wise to all his little hiding places. Where was the one place she’d never looked before? Tanya sat on the loo, tapping her foot against the side of the bath while she thought. It made a hollow drumming sound. Kicking it a bit harder, she realised the side of the bath looked solid but was in fact a cheap hardwood panel.
Tanya got down on her knees and managed to get her fingertips under the edge of the panel, it came away easily. She levered it back, flinching when she saw all the dust and cobwebs under the bath. Lying on her front, she stretched out a hand and felt around underneath the bath. She winced as her fingers rubbed against damp mould and other disgusting textures she didn’t want to think about. Then she felt the edges of a plastic bag with something solid inside. A box. She dragged the bag out, which had been knotted tightly, presumably to keep it dry. Inside the plastic bag was the same box she’d seen in the lounge. Tanya took it into the kitchen and sliced open the top with a knife. Inside were a stack of leaflets printed on white A4 paper. She held it up to the light and read:
Want a better Britain?
Want to do something about it?
Then we want you?
The BFB meets every Wednesday 7pm at the Newington Arms back room
Bring yourself and bring your pride for your country.
So it was true. She screwed up the leaflet and threw it on the floor. Somehow, Tanya had always known he’d been into something like this. She felt relief as well as anger. She’d always hated her father. But now she had a proper reason to hate him. And that made her feel justified in doing something to get back at him. Something that would really hurt him and make him look like the idiot he was.
While she tried to think of what to do, she quietly put the box back where she’d found it and replaced the panel on the bath.
Tanya returned to the lounge. Her dad was still out of it, breathing heavily like an old dog. She stared at him for several minutes. So this was what the master race looked like. A wicked thought flashed across her mind. Her grin grew larger the more she thought about it.
“Dad,” she said quietly, testing to see how deep his sleep was. “Dad.” There was no response.
<
br /> She knelt by his side and slid his mobile phone from out of his trouser pocket and began thumbing through his address book. He didn’t have many friends, so it was easy to find what she was looking for. Her eyes widened when she saw a separate address folder marked BFB. She couldn’t believe her luck; he had just made her job ten times easier. Inside the folder were about twenty names. So these were his little Nazi buddies. Perhaps it was time they found out a dirty little secret about one of their members.
Tanya stood up and stripped off down to her knickers. Carefully, she climbed on the sofa so she was straddling her dad with a knee either side of him. She lowered herself down gently so her buttocks were just hovering above his pelvis, then she held his phone at arm’s length and took several shots with the camera. She quickly climbed off and got dressed. Then she toggled through the shots she’d taken, chose the best one and deleted the others.
Tanya selected all the numbers in the folder marked BFB and sent the photograph to them. They didn’t know he had a black daughter. To the casual observer it looked like her father was having sex with a black girl, and enjoying it, seeing as his mouth was wide open and his eyes were closed. If he could ruin her life, she could ruin his. She left him still snoring on the couch and headed back to Lena’s.
Chapter 21
The TV was on at Lena’s, as it always was. Tanya checked every channel to see if there was any mention of the whale, but the media was still obsessed with last night’s riots. Every story showed reporters standing in different locations while people cleared up behind them. Words like appalling, deplorable and outrage were used. Then they started mentioning the deaths. Several people had died last night, but none of the names had been released. Eventually Lena couldn’t take anymore so they switched over and started watching some reality TV show. Two people with matching fleeces were being shown around a house by a cheesy presenter who talked too enthusiastically.
Tanya worried about Lena. She knew she needed help, proper help. Not just a few drinks and a good talking to. Now wasn’t the time to bring it up, but eventually she’d have to set her mind straight, otherwise Lena would implode. Tanya had no idea how to do this.
Two hard bangs on the front door dislodged Tanya from her thoughts. She looked at Lena. Lena looked back at her with terror in her eyes.
“It’s the old bill,” she said, shrinking into sofa. “I knew they’d find me, I knew it.”
“Don’t be daft,” said Tanya. “It’s probably nothing.”
“Tanya, Tanya, get out here now.” Her dad’s voice was unmistakable. The door rattled again, harder this time. He must have started kicking it.
“What have you done, Tan?” Lena asked.
Tanya folded her arms. “Nothing, just given him what he deserves.”
“Tanya, open this door,” he shouted again. “I know you’re in there.”
Lena went over to the window and spied through the gap in the net curtains. “He looks really pissed off,” she said.
“Just ignore him, he’ll go away.”
There was another clattering bang on the front door, followed by another and another.
“He’s trying to kick the door in,” Lena said. “I can see him.”
“What’s going on?” Lena’s mum came in from the kitchen. “What’s all this banging?”
“It’s Tanya’s dad,” said Lena. “I think he wants to hurt her.”
“Steve, is that you?” her mum shouted through the door.
“Open this door, now,” he shouted back from the other side.
“Er, Tanya’s not here,” Her mum lied, but not very convincingly.
“I know she’s in there.”
“She’s not here, now go away.”
“Well if she’s not here, you won’t mind opening the door and showing me.”
Lena’s mum turned to Tanya. “What have you done?” she said in an angry whisper. “He sounds crazy.”
Tanya didn’t say anything.
Lena’s mum put her hand on the latch. “Tell me or I’m going to open this door.”
“Mum, he’s a Nazi,” Lena said.
“What? Don’t be daft. How can he be a Nazi?”
“It’s true,” Tanya spoke up. “He belongs to a group called the BFB - Britain for the British. I found loads of their leaflets in our flat.”
“So why is he trying to bang down our door?”
“I sent all his BFB friends a picture of me and him. They don’t know he’s got a black daughter. That’s why he’s really mad. His little secret’s out and he’s probably been kicked out of their group.”
The banging and swearing from outside continued. The door sounded like it couldn’t take much more.
“Stop,” Lena’s mum shouted. “If you don’t stop, I’ll call the police.”
Tanya’s dad laughed. “Police? They haven’t been around here for years. They don’t care about us, they’re more interested in protecting immigrants and gangsters and lesbians. So be my guest.”
“He’s right about the police,” Lena’s mum said. “They won’t come round here, even if he tears the place down.”
“What about Greg?” said Lena.
“I can’t,” Tanya replied. “He already bailed us out once. He said he wouldn’t do it again.”
“Who’s Greg?” asked her mum.
Lena ignored her and carried on. “But this is an emergency, he’s gonna kill you. Call him or I will.”
Tanya knew she was right. Her dad would eventually come through that door and it wouldn’t be just her that got hurt. He’d probably take it out on Lena and her mum as well. There was no choice. She reached for her phone and switched it on. Thankfully it had dried out and was working again. She dialled Greg’s number.
Greg made it to Lena’s in a few minutes. He’d been dozing when he got the call and his mind was still foggy with sleep. His wife had asked him where he was going and he made up some excuse about popping out for coffee. If he told her the truth she wouldn’t have let him go. He wasn’t sure he should be going himself. Rushing to Tanya’s rescue had started to become a habit, a bad habit, but he felt responsible for her somehow. If he let her down now it would just confirm what she already thought about adults. That they were only bothered about you when it suited them. He didn’t want to be another stereotype that had good intentions but was never there when you really needed them. He had to see this one through, or it would all be for nothing.
When he stepped out of his car he could hear the banging and the shouting coming from above. A few neighbours were leaning on their balconies enjoying the spectacle, waiting to see if it would escalate into something bigger. Rows in public were all too common around here. It was what would happen next they really wanted to see.
Greg sighed. He wasn’t in the mood for this. He was tired and wanted to go back to bed. Best to try and get this one over with quick, he thought. Maybe the offer of an early morning pint would calm her dad down or perhaps a coffee. Coffee. Just the thought of it made Greg want to jump into the car and find the nearest Starbucks and down several espressos. The situation would be a lot easier to deal with after some shots of caffeine. Greg had had so much coffee over the past 48 hours that the withdrawal was hitting him harder than a junkie going cold turkey. He really needed to focus.
Greg dragged his feet up the flights of steps until he could see Tanya’s dad. He was pacing up and down the walkway outside Lena’s door like a dog on heat.
“Hi,” said Greg, even though he was some distance away. Probably better not to creep up and startle him. Her dad immediately spun around.
“Oh, it’s Mcshit himself,” he said. “Fuck off, this is nothing to do with you.”
Greg was a little shocked. Gone was the timid wastrel he’d confronted last time. Where had his new courage come from? Greg shook his head and realised it was probably drink propping up his new confidence. This was confirmed as Greg got closer and detected a strong aura of liquor hanging around him.
“I said fuck off, n
ow fuck off.”
Greg held up his hands as if surrendering. “I just want to talk, that’s all?”
As he got closer, Greg could see his blood shot eyes darting all around, as his brain processed this information.
“You can talk if you want. I’m going to kick this door down.”
“Wait, what did she do?”
“You wanna know?”
Greg nodded.
“She disrespected me.”
“Why did she do that?”
Tanya’s dad laughed. “You must think I’m stupid. I know what you’re doing, trying to distract me, ain’t ya? What’s it to do with you?”
“I told you, I’m her guardian angel.”
Her dad laughed again. “Sorry, mate, but you’re a pretty fucking ugly angel.”
Greg made sure he laughed with her dad. This was good, sharing a joke at his expense, diffusing the situation. He decided to milk it a bit more.
“I know, I’m a fallen angel – I fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch.”
Tanya’s dad snorted through his nose. “You’re funny, jock.”
“Thanks, man.”
“But I still don’t like you.” Tanya’s dad stopped laughing and his face sobered up instantly. “You know what I think? I think you’ve got a thing for my girl.”
Greg stopped laughing. “You’ve got me all wrong. I’m happily married …”
“You think that makes any difference. You look down on me, but I tell you what, a middle-aged man being friends with a teenage girl - that’s dodgy.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Really? ‘cos when you stormed into my flat and started threatening me, it looked an awful lot like you’ve got a thing for her.”
Greg’s sleepy cool began to evaporate and he stepped closer to her dad. Greg expected him to move back but he stood his ground. The pair stood face to face, eyes narrowed and jaws clenched.
“Let me tell you something, pal,” Greg said. “Don’t judge me by your sleazy standards. I’ll tell you what my interest is in Tanya. I used to be just like her. In fact, I had a father just like you. A drunk, who’d beat the shit out of me if I looked at him the wrong way. So I became just like him. A thug who’d steal, drink and fight. Sound familiar? Anything Tanya has become is your fault.”