“Grandma, you don’t need to talk like that.”
“Baby, if you don’t remember nothing I done taught you, and I know I done taught you a lot—”
“Yes ma’am, you have.”
“—I want you to remember that if you are a believer there ain’t nothing wrong with knowing that this place is not your home. Be excited about what’s to come. Ain’t no need in rushing nothing and I ain’t saying—well maybe I am saying. Whenever the Lord say I’m ready, I’ll be ready. Make sure you lay some pretty red roses on my grave now.”
I agreed, but her crazy talking was making me more irritable. I really felt sick. I started coughing, my body started aching. Would my life get well?
“So, this is Hotlanta, huh?” my cousin Pillar said as I drove her around downtown. She was something else, a cute mixed girl that knew she had it going on.
“So where you want to go, what you want to see?” I asked her, hoping she had a plan.
“This is your town. Everyone knows who you are and that you’re the man in it, wherever.”
I turned the car around and headed for the Georgia Aquarium. It was now the largest in the world. Now that I only lived two miles from it on Tech’s campus I’d never had a chance to visit. When I pulled up she said sarcastically, “Oh, so you thought I wanted to see some fish?”
I knew she was high maintenance and would insist on telling me where she wanted to go. I stupidly had taken her at her word, and my plan wasn’t good enough. I pulled over and said, “Alright, where do you want to go?”
“I thought we could go to Morehouse.”
It was so obvious that she wanted to flirt with somebody, but I knew that there was a gate on campus and tricked her and said, “Yeah, we can go to the AU.”
“It’s called the Atlanta University Center, right?”
“Yep.”
“Oh my gosh, this campus is nice,” she said, looking at the Spelman campus. “I like Stanford and all, but it’s just too rigid. I know I’m half white, but I need some culture, plus I need to get away from my folks. They can just drive up when they want and that just irks me.”
“Hey, we can get out and walk. It’s cold and there’s ice on the ground.”
“I just want to go to the admissions office and check out what my options are. Then maybe I can transfer.”
Just as we stepped out my phone rang. “Hey mom.”
“Hey, where you at sweetie?”
“I’m with Pillar.”
“Yeah, her dad told me. I just saw him a moment ago at the hospital.”
I sighed. The look of despair on my face made my cousin Pillar ask me, “Cuz, what’s wrong?”
I held up one finger to ask her to hold on for a minute, when all of a sudden my mom made me drop to my knees when she said, “Your grandmother is gone.”
“It’s Grandma.”
“Oh no, are you serious? She was okay. I was just with her last night.” My cousin started crying and I held her.
“Alright Mom, we’ll be out there.”
“Aight baby, ain’t no need in rushing. She’s in a better place.”
Here one minute and gone the next. She had just told me she was tired, but I so wished she had gotten a good night’s rest and been rejuvenated. However, she took a turn for the worst, having a second stroke that sent her on to glory.
It was actually a great thing. The next several days were so much fun. My family was rejuvenated, we laughed through our tears. Her friends came by and told stories that confirmed my grandma was crazy. She was certainly one of a kind and would definitely be missed, but she knew the Lord and she knew where she was going and she was excited to get there. How could you not be happy? The day of the service Payton and I rode behind our parents.
“I miss you, sis.” Understanding that life was precious and I couldn’t take it for granted, I added, “You alright up there in school?”
“Tad and I got issues, women are crazy, the pledging thing is driving me nuts, and I miss my little brother too. I guess life is alright, right?” Payton asked. I nodded.
Feeling like God wanted more from me, I scratched my head and asked, “How do you witness? It seems that telling people about God isn’t all that cool. I don’t want to push my beliefs on anybody. But with Tad’s cousin down…”
Payton placed her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. “Yeah, I know, he’s still in a coma.”
“Yeah, I mean if Grandma was supposed to make it through and she didn’t, odds really are that he’s gone. I don’t know, you know. I just want to do more, you know? For God I can’t have any regrets, you know, but a part of me is just…” I looked out the window as I couldn’t finish my own statement, not wanting to admit I was a little scared to step out there for God.
“You don’t want to be ridiculed?”
“Exactly!”
“Well, the word says that if I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me,” my sister said. “I’m not the perfect Christian either. I know my halo is a little tilted, but for the most part I don’t let anyone push me into something I don’t want to do. If you truly believe in God, then stand for Him, and don’t care what anyone else says. Remember, folks talked about Jesus. So who are we that we can’t endure for the One who gave His all for us?”
“Right, right,” I uttered, agreeing that my sister had a valid point.
“You know Pillar said she’s going to go to school here.”
“Yeah, we were talking about it when we got the call about Grandma.”
“Yeah, well she’s been working Uncle Percy for the last couple of days, and she’s serious. She’s in Atlanta with you, and as wild as that girl is you’re just going to have to decide.”
“What do you mean? I can’t tell Pillar what to do.”
“You have more influence than you think, my brother. When you want to grab that ball that most think is uncatchable you find a way to do it. Use that same logic for stepping up to Christ.”
“Will what I say work?”
“You’ve got to believe it will.” I nodded.
The service for my grandmother was a blast. Because she had played the piano for several local choirs, there were eight different churches in the house singing songs of praise. There was no note that I heard that was out of tune and people got up and testified how she impacted their lives. Her nontraditional ways saved a lot of people.
As the preacher preached I envisioned my granddad with his hand extended, and her taking it, and them going off together. I felt myself running after them. “Wait, wait. Don’t leave me.” And then my granddad turning around and saying, “Hey, we’ll see you soon, but you have some things to take care of, and not only on the field. Make me proud and stand up. Be the difference. We’re cheering you on up here. Live your life and stop thinking the Lord don’t care. Dying when you have a Heavenly home is a good thing, son.”
And the next thing I knew my sister was pulling on me so she could be the flower girl and I the pallbearer for my grandmother’s precious body. My sister smiled at Tad and I had to blink twice when I saw his cousin, my girl Savoy, there next to him as well.
My sister took my hand and said, “See, it’s all good.”
I had to admit it felt real good clinging to hope.
Recruiting New Ideas
After the celebration of placing my grandmother’s precious body in the ground, I couldn’t wait to go over to Savoy and give her a huge hug. We both had been going through it. I felt bad that I hadn’t talked to her, but the wide smile on her face told me that she understood that I needed time. As much as I needed her arms around me, every step I took closer to her I realized her brother, her twin, would probably have the same ceremony real soon. As sad as I was, grieving, what would I be able to share with her to ease her pain?
“Hey, baby,” I said to her, giving her a big hug. She was standing alone, because her cousin Tad had already made his way over to my sister.
“I’m so sorry about your grandmother, but I tell you what, this ha
s been a party!”
“Yeah, she had a lot of people who loved her and will miss her.”
“Sounds like she has a lot of friends who have gone on and are welcoming her right now. Y’all were partying down here, but I could feel the spirit letting me know that they were partying up there. You know what I’m saying?”
“Yeah!” I said, really excited, hugging her even tighter. With all she was going through, she was uplifting me, encouraging me. What a great girlfriend. This was a blessing. I looked deep into her eyes, trying to study them and understand her pain. I wanted to be the attentive boyfriend that I had abandoned the last few months. Try to be a brother in Christ as well.
“I can tell you want to ask me about Saxon,” she said as she squeezed my hand real tight. It was like she was trying to tell me to get ahold of myself. I squeezed her hand back, letting her know that I was ready for her and that we were going to get through this. And even though I didn’t understand what all God did up there, we were going to have to trust Him.
“I feel real bad talking about my brother at your grandmother’s funeral, you know?”
“I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to sit with you guys in the hospital and stuff.”
“No, no. I understand that you had a lot to do, you needed to be with your family. I just didn’t want you to be mad at me because I didn’t call you with updates,” she said.
I didn’t want to look at her like she had completely lost her mind, but what update did she need to keep giving me? He was in a coma; doctors had pretty much given up hope. I wasn’t interested in hearing about his new bed sores, but I didn’t want to seem insensitive so I said, “No, no you didn’t have to give me an update. It’s fine.”
“You and I have been praying and we got a miracle.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
Before she could answer, my aunts came over and squeezed my cheeks, my uncles punched me in the arm. Everybody wanted to be introduced to her. Everybody was minding their manners until my crazy cousin Pillar came over and said, “Oh, Perry. She’s cute!” Then she turned to Savoy, and said, “Are you going to be able to handle my cousin? All my friends back home want him. The way he’s all over ESPN. You gon’ be able to handle him, girl?”
I looked at her like, Alright now, dang! We supposed to be family. Don’t sell me down the river like that. Plus, with Pillar going to school up at Spelman, the last thing she needed to do was alienate my girl, when she was going to be right up the street. But I could tell as Pillar looked Savoy from head to toe she didn’t care about making friends. My cousin thought she was all that, and thought I was all that because I was related to her, and didn’t care about anyone’s hurt feelings. I put my arm around Savoy and said, “Alright, it’s good seeing all of y’all. I’ma go talk to my girl. I’ll see y’all at the repast.”
“Your cousin…” Savoy rolled her eyes and couldn’t even finish the statement.
“Yeah, I know.”
“When is she packing up and going back to California?”
“Well, that’s just it.”
“What do you mean, that’s just it?”
“She’s transferring to Spelman.”
“Ugghh!” she screamed.
“Seriously, what good news do you have on your brother? They have hope now, they think he might come through? What?”
“Perry, he’s completely awake. He came out of his coma, he’s great, he’s lucid. He knows everybody and he’s been in physical therapy for days. It’s just remarkable. He has a strong will to do more, be more, have more. They released him. That’s why I was able to make it. God spared his life.”
Then she hugged me again. We walked over to her car. Tad was going to ride with Payton to the church, and as the wind blew across my face it was like God saying, See, you doubted me. You wanted more time with him. You wanted more time to tell him about me. Alright my friend, go, get ready to fish. Now that you have a second chance, be fired up.
I just thought, Thank you, Lord! I got into the car and I didn’t want to break down in front of my girl. But from being graveside to now knowing that Saxon was okay, that God spared him for a reason, just made me weep. Yeah, I was a man, yeah I was tough, but all that surface stuff took a back seat. Now it was time to be real.
“It’s okay,” Savoy said, placing her hand on my back. “I knew you cared for Saxon, I just didn’t know you cared so much. He’s okay, though, and your grandmother is okay too. God does know what He is doing.”
She started rubbing on my neck and then she leaned over and kissed my cheek. Her hands cupped my face. We felt the joy about what was going on in our lives, the emotion of the moment, and we kissed. Our tongues connected and then I felt conflicted. God was hearing my prayer. I didn’t want my grandmother to be in pain anymore. I wanted another chance with Saxon. He was alive, yet I couldn’t follow his way. I pulled back.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No, me either. We’ve got to find another way to express our feelings to one another.”
“We’ve got to honor God in this thing,” I said.
Unable to forget how good her kiss felt, I sure hoped we could.
“Dang, it seems like I ain’t never gon’ catch Saxon up,” I said as I slammed the door to my apartment. It was now mid-February, and Saxon had officially been back on campus for a week. Every time I’d go by his place one of his suitemates would say that I’d either just missed him, or that he was asleep, or that he was just too tired for company. At first I took it at face value, but as I got more and more of the brush-off I really wondered what the avoidance was all about.
“Have y’all seen him?” I asked Lance and Deuce. The two of them turned around like they didn’t want to answer me or something. I wasn’t a kid, my feelings weren’t going to be hurt—either they had or hadn’t seen him. So I asked again with real force. “Have you seen Sax or not? What’s the big deal?”
“We’ve seen him, man, alright,” Lance said.
“Well, why do I have the feeling that you two guys know more than you’re telling me?”
“I don’t want to get into it,” Deuce said, trying to walk to his room.
“Unh uh,” I said to him, yanking on his sweater. “Talk to me. This ain’t cool, man. If you know something, let me know.”
Lance then took it upon himself to walk toward his room. I wasn’t an idiot; I could figure it out, but in our house we had a bond—they were supposed to tell me the rough stuff without feeling uncomfortable.
“Alright guys, come on back in here. Let’s talk.”
“Alright, alright. He’s really upset with you. Pissed off, man. Like angry, angry, angry.”
“Dang, Lance, man. You got a big mouth,” Deuce said, throwing a pillow from the couch across the room.
“Yeah right, he would have kept badgering us until we said something.”
“I’m sure this is just temporary,” Deuce said, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“I tried to tell him that you weren’t at fault, but he wasn’t hearing me. He doesn’t remember everything exact, but what he does remember, he thinks you punked him.”
“Is he over there right now?” I said, heading toward the front door.
“Naw, naw man. You can’t go right over there and tell him we told you,” Deuce said, standing in my way. “He just got out of the hospital, just respect his wishes. Let his memory clear up and he’ll get over all of this.”
“As worried as I was about this joker, I really feel like I got a mission to go over there and talk to him. He’s going to hear what I have to say and if he’s ticked with me he needs to open his mouth and say something.”
I pushed Deuce to the side, walked across the hall and banged on the door as hard as I could, and as I waited for someone to open, I thought, Devil, you are a trip. As heavy as Saxon has been on my mind in trying to talk to him about God and all that, and I would be the one that he didn’t want to see. Devil, you have no power here.
“Saxon, open up the door, man. Now, man. It’s Perry, man, I need to talk to you now.” But he wouldn’t come to the door. “It’s about Savoy, open up! Hurry up! Open up!”
I couldn’t believe I was making up, but I knew if he was in there and he heard his sister’s name or if I alluded to anything like that he’d be running to see me, and I was correct. The door opened and I saw his face.
“What? What’s up with my sister?” Saxon said with an attitude. I pushed past him and walked inside.
“Man, your sister’s fine.”
“Skky, I ain’t never known you to be a liar.”
“I ain’t never known you to be a coward,” I said back to him.
“A coward? What, me? Man, please, I ain’t the one that ditched the fight. You couldn’t even stand up for my sister’s honor, to make sure that she didn’t get violated, and you turn and leave me by myself to get jumped on and stomped on. I was in a coma because of you. Now you’ve got the nerve to show your face to me?”
“I was told that you didn’t even remember a lot of what happened that night. So whoever pieced all that together for you missed out on a lot.”
“Please, I already took you for a high-class brown-noser.” Saxon went back over to the door and opened it for me.
Because Savoy and I felt uncomfortable about our last encounter, we kept a good amount of distance between us. We talked on the phone, but those chats were quick checkups, nothing deep. She and I hadn’t really talked about why I wasn’t right beside her brother when it happened. Had Saxon gotten into her mind and warped it too?
“Get out, Skky, seriously. I’m tired, get out.”
“I’ll leave, but you’re going to hear me out,” I said, walking over to the door and shutting it.
Promise Kept (Perry Skky Jr.) Page 4