by Sean Michael
Bishop nodded and took a deep breath, pushed the curtain aside.
Knight looked…destroyed. The man’s face was bloody, swollen, the shapes under the sheet unnatural.
“Fuck…” There was a chair and he grabbed it, managing to sink into it before he hit the ground. He wasn’t sure if he could hold Knight’s hand—hell, he wasn’t even sure he could find it. “Baby…”
The beeping on the heart rate monitor sped as he spoke.
“Can you hear me, Knight?” He touched his lover’s face, just gently with his fingertips. “I’m here, baby. And I’ll be here when you wake up, after your surgery. You’re going to wake up and be just fine. You hear me? That’s an order.”
“Sir, we have to take him. Now.”
The beeping was speeding, the sound urgent. Scary.
“I love you, Knight.” He let them push him out of the way. “I love you.”
The beeping hiccupped then flat-lined and they shoved him out of the way, taking Knight and running.
Oh God. That sound was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.
Bishop knew he needed to be strong for Knight. He needed to be strong for his other lovers. But he couldn’t do it right this second and he let himself lean against the wall and shake.
He could be strong later.
* * * *
They’d been sitting in the waiting room in surgery for hours. Hours. Rook had freaked out, he’d cried. He’d ranted about the danger of snow ploughs and of running. Now he was sitting there with his lovers, with his five hundredth cup of bad coffee, feeling like he was going to throw up. Every passing minute made it that little bit harder to believe that everything was going to be okay.
He was trying as hard as he could—he wanted to be strong for his lovers, especially Bishop—but damn it, Knight was his lover, too, and he was devastated. Utterly devastated. Out of all of them, he’d loved Knight first.
Bishop refused to talk about what Knight had looked like, just saying it was bad, but the doctors would fix it. Rook was pretty sure Bishop hadn’t believed his own words. Bishop’s eyes had looked so…so lost.
Jason was the one who was…like a robot. The man dealt with food and nurses, coffee and making sure everyone had everything they needed. Barbara, Knight’s agent, had come and gone again to deal with the press, with the cops.
They still weren’t even sure exactly what had happened, aside from the man versus snow plow thing.
God. They were huge. And Knight wasn’t. Feeling more tears leaking from his eyes, Rook slapped at his face.
“Rook, stop it.” Jason took his hand. “It’s good news that they haven’t come. That means they’re still working on him.”
“You promise?” He squeezed Jason’s hand tight. Rook didn’t know what they’d have done without him.
Bishop finally turned from where he was staring out of the window. “He’s right. No news is good news.”
“Of course I’m right.” Jason was like an oasis, a calm steadiness in the center of all this insanity.
“I don’t know what I would have done without you, honey.” He leaned into Jason and let that strength hold him.
Bishop paced across the room a couple of times before settling in front of the window again, looking out at the snow.
The door opened. An exhausted looking man stood there. “Mr. Dumont?”
Bishop strode over immediately and Rook squeezed Jason’s hand as they followed, standing at their lover’s side. He sent up a silent prayer, begging for Knight to be okay.
“He made it through the surgery. His liver was torn, one lung deflated. I removed a foot of small intestine. The orthopedic surgeon will be in tomorrow, to discuss his bone issues. Right now, he’s not stable enough to deal with those problems.”
“He’s alive, though.” Rook couldn’t contain his words.
“Yes. Yes. He’s in serious condition, but he is stable.”
Rook sagged against Bishop, who wrapped one strong arm around him.
“Can we see him?” Bishop asked.
“He’s in recovery, and then they’ll move him to the ICU. One at a time and there are clean protocols.”
“We’ll follow them. I want to sit with him overnight.”
Rook wasn’t sure if Bishop was telling the doctor, or him and Jason.
“That’s understandable. I’ll have a nurse come see you once he’s moved and settled. She’ll show you to the Intensive Care family area.”
“Thank you. We appreciate the care you’re giving him.” Bishop’s voice sounded rough and a single shiver went through Rook.
“He’s not out of the woods by far, but he’s doing better than he should be.” The doctor shook each of their hands and headed off again.
Rook threw himself at Bishop and held on. Bishop wrapped around him, squeezed him tight, but only for a second. “You two should…get lunch?”
Jason looked at his watch. “Yeah. Or supper. It’s almost five. What do you want and we’ll get it.”
“What if the nurse comes while we’re away getting it? How is Bish going to find us?” Rook tried not to panic at the thought of them being separated.
“He’ll text us.” Jason seemed so calm. “Or we’ll ask where the waiting area is. I’ve done this before. I can handle it.”
“Oh. Oh, okay, that’ll work.” He hugged Bishop again. “What do you want us to bring you?”
“I don’t care. I won’t taste anything.”
“Oh, Bish…” He hugged Bishop again. “Jason can go by himself. I’ll stay with you.”
“No. No, we’ll be here a while—get out while you can.” Bishop looked over him to Jason. “Eat at the restaurant. I want you two to get a break from this place for a while.”
Rook clung to Bishop for a moment. “I love you, Bishy.”
“I know, Rookie. I love you, too. He’s going to be okay, all right?”
Rook nodded. He had to believe that. He thought maybe Bishop needed him to believe it.
“He is. It’ll suck. He’ll hurt and stuff, but he’ll make it.” Jason sounded so sure.
Rook nodded again and took Jason’s hand. “From your lips to God’s ears.”
“He will,” Jason insisted. “He made it through surgery.”
“Okay. Okay. We should go get food so Bishop doesn’t starve.” He gave Bishop another kiss and let Jason lead him away.
Bishop would be okay while they were gone. It wasn’t like there were any snow ploughs in here.
“It’ll be okay.” Jason took him to the elevator and handed him his coat.
He took it, clutching it against his chest. “It’ll be okay,” he repeated.
Jason nodded, looking so sure, so solid. Was this his gentle lover?
“I’m so glad you’re here, honey.”
“I am, too. I’m sorry he got hurt.”
Rook nodded, clinging to Jason’s hand. “He has to get better.”
“Where do you want to eat?”
“Not at the cafeteria.” The food in hospital cafeterias always sucked for some reason. And they smelled like antiseptic and sick people.
“There’s got to be something easy to walk to.”
Rook nodded at Jason’s words, but when they got to the doors and went to go out, he hung back.
“What’s wrong, Rook?”
“There’s snow ploughs out there.” The words shot out of him without thought and he shook his head. “Maybe they’ve got muffins or something at the Timmy’s.” He knew there was one in the hospital, Jason kept bringing them coffee from there. Timmy’s usually had decent coffee, so how come the hospital Timmy’s coffee sucked as hard as the cafeteria coffee did?
“There are always going to be snow ploughs, Rook. It was an accident. Come on.”
He looked at Jason, clinging to his lover’s hand. “You say it like it’s going to be easy.”
“Nothing is easy, Rook, but that’s the way it is.” Jason tugged him out into the snow.
He shivered and stayed close to Jason, try
ing not to let it freak him out.
“I have you. I won’t let things hurt you.”
“Thank you, honey. I believe you.” They stopped at the light at the corner and he rested his head on Jason’s shoulder. God, he was tired. Utterly exhausted. Poor Knight. Poor Bish. Poor him.
Jason led him to a little diner across from the hospital and told the waitress yes when she asked if they wanted coffee. She poured it and left them with the menus. The words were blurry with Rook’s tears, his heart just aching. “You pick something that looks good. Don’t forget to get something to go for Bish.”
“I think I’m going to have a pot roast sandwich. Do you want a Philly cheesesteak?” Jason asked.
“Sure. With fries. I want fries.” It didn’t seem real—they were sitting here ordering food while Knight was in the hospital, held together by hope and a prayer.
“Oh, that sounds good.” Jason ordered, then leaned back, looked at him. “Is there someone we should call for Knight? Family?”
He shook his head. “Just Barbara. She’s the only family he’s got except us.” It was the same for all of them. Even if in some cases it was because people were homophobic assholes.
“Okay. I just thought I’d ask.”
“You’re such a good man, honey.” He reached out and squeezed Jason’s hand. Jason held on, rubbing his palm.
Their food came. Rook picked at his, but he really wasn’t very hungry. There was this pain in his belly that he couldn’t shake.
“He’ll be okay, Rook. Bishop’s going to need us to help, a lot, especially when Knight gets to come home.”
Rook nodded. “I won’t go back to work until he’s back to his old ornery self.” He was lucky he was independently wealthy and had great staff at his store—he really didn’t need to be there for things to run smoothly. He’d give up all that money, though, if it meant Knight would be okay.
He looked at his French fries and started to cry, heart just broken. Jason sat there, holding his hand, as solid as a rock.
In the end, he managed a couple of fries and some of the meat out of his sandwich. He couldn’t drink the coffee, though. He thought if he had any more coffee he’d throw up. He might never drink it again.
When it felt like he wasn’t going to cry anymore, he looked at Jason. “We should take Bish’s food to him. And see if they’ll let us see K yet.” He needed to see for himself that Knight was still there.
“Sounds like a plan.” Jason ordered Bish a hamburger, fries and a huge Coke.
“Do you think he’ll eat it?” Rook didn’t know how Bish was keeping it together, but Bish was. Better than him at least. He took a breath, held it a second. He needed to get it together. He’d lost it for a while there, but now he’d had his turn and he had to be strong so Bish and Jason had someone to lean on.
“No. But he needs it.”
“We’ll make him eat it.” He handed over some money when the waitress brought them the takeout, and slipped into his coat. “I’m ready to go back.”
“Let’s go, then.” Jason took the food with one hand, his arm with the other.
They went out and he clung to Jason’s hand, telling himself over and over again that the snow ploughs weren’t going to hit him. It was ridiculous—that he was so worried, that now, after living here his entire life, he was scared. He couldn’t help it, though. He was. Knight had nearly been taken away from them by a snow plow and he was worried they were out to get them all. He pushed the fear down, letting Jason’s hand give him strength.
Jason stopped him in the lobby. “Let’s text Bish, huh? See where he is?”
“Okay, sure.” Thank God for Jason. He didn’t know what they’d have done without his honey here to be their rock.
“He says he’s in the third floor waiting room.”
“‘Kay.” He just kept hold of Jason’s hand and followed his lover.
They went up, and this waiting room was much nicer—a coffee pot, water, vending machines, even a little refrigerator. Bishop was there, sitting, head in his hands.
Rook dropped Jason’s hand and went running over to Bishop. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Nothing, Rookie. My head’s fucking killing me.”
“Oh.” He kissed Bishop’s forehead. “We brought you food. You need to eat. And have some aspirin or something.”
“Do you have any?”
“Jason will get some.” He turned to Jason and mouthed “Please?” as he took the bag of food. Jason handed him the Coke.
“Sure. I’ll head down to the gift shop.”
“Thanks, honey.” He squeezed Jason’s hand, then set the food out on the table in front of Bishop. “The fries are really good.”
“Yeah?” Bish just stared.
“Yeah, sure.” He couldn’t actually remember if they were or not, but figured it didn’t matter.
He opened the Styrofoam container and grabbed one, holding it up to Bish’s lips.
“He looks like shit.”
A shudder went through Rook, but he wrapped his hand around Bish’s arm. “He’s going to be okay.”
Bishop nodded, looking heartbroken. “I know. He has to.”
“He does. He will be.” He pushed the burger into Bishop’s hand. “And now you have to eat because he’s going to need us.”
Jason was right. They had to do normal things.
“Come on. You eat and when Jason gets back, I’ll go see Knight and then we’ll figure out what to do, yeah?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Okay.” Bishop took a bite of the burger—listlessly, but he did eat.
Was this how he’d looked to Jason? He sighed and brushed Bishop’s hair to the side. “We need to stay strong for him.” His Jason was so smart. So right and so brave.
Bish managed to eat about half of the burger before Jason came back, a bottle of pills in one hand, and a bottle of water in the other. “Here you go. The ladies downstairs are very nice.”
“Yeah? Cool.” He held out his hand and Jason sat next to Bish, getting a couple of pills out and handing them over along with the water bottle.
Bish took the pills and drank half of the bottle in one go.
“Can Rook go see him?” Jason asked, and Rook blinked new tears back. His honey was always looking out for him.
Bish nodded. “Only one at a time is allowed, but as long as we’re not in the way, they’ll let me stay the night.”
“Good.” Jason patted Bishop’s arm then squeezed it. “You’ll have to wash in the special soap and stuff, Rook. I noticed instructions on the door to this wing.”
“Okay. You stay with Bishop and I’ll go see him.” Rook gave Bishop a kiss on the cheek, then Jason.
Then he took a deep breath and went to see his lover.
Chapter Seven
Jason fed them, made sure they slept, made sure they showered.
Knight never woke up. One surgery had turned into two, turned into four, turned into six. It was insane. There had been yet another surgery this morning.
“Jason.” Bishop, looking utterly exhausted, touched his arm. “Take Rookie home, baby boy. Put a smile on his face.”
“Are you sure? You don’t need us?”
Bishop hadn’t gone home, not yet. Not once. They’d brought in food for him, changes of clothing, soap so he could clean up. Bishop hadn’t stepped foot from the hospital ever since Knight had been admitted.
“I do. I need you two to be my normal. I need that smile of Rookie’s, but it’s been looking so shaky, so thin.”
“He’s scared.” They all were scared.
“I know, because I’m fucking terrified. I can’t lose them both, though. Go love on him, make him sleep, bring him back a little more his old self tomorrow. Do that for me?” Bishop’s voice was husky and tired.
“I promise.” Jason would do anything for these men. Anything.
Bishop pressed their foreheads together and kissed him, just once, hard. “Thank you, Jason. We couldn’t survive this without you.”
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��I’m not going anywhere.” He met Bishop’s eyes. “I’ll bring you breakfast in the morning.”
“I’ll be here.” Bishop managed a wink for him, a smile. Then he turned to Rook. “Come on, Rookie. Jason’s taking you home. Make sure he brings something yummy with him for my breakfast tomorrow morning, ’kay?”
“But—”
“No buts. Knight needs you well rested because he’s going to be a bear when he wakes up.”
“Come home, love? Please? We could have a shower together.” Jason tried not to worry about how long since they’d done that—just showered together. They could do that. And more. Touch each other…sleep…
“Okay, okay. Bishop, I’m taking tomorrow night’s shift, though. You haven’t had a chance to sleep at home yet.”
“We’ll see. Go on, guys.”
Jason took Rook’s hand and tugged him up.
Rook squeezed Bishop’s hand, then let himself be led away. “He needs to go home tomorrow, honey. It’s not right that you and I get to go home and he never does.”
They stopped at the elevator and Rook leaned against him. He held Rook. “We’ll get him home, let him rest.”
Knight didn’t seem like he was going to wake up, though. It was scary. So he got why Bishop didn’t want to leave.
Rookie sighed. “I just want Knight to come home.”
“Me too, Rook.” He wanted things to go back to normal.
Rook leaned up and kissed him and their elevator came. They went in and he pressed the button to the ground floor.
“Did you want to stop and eat or just head home?”
“Let’s just go home, honey. We can make a sandwich or something, right?” Rook sounded so tired, so…worn thin.
“Hell, yes. Or I can cook some eggs and toast?” He missed cooking.
“Oh, that actually sounds good.” Rook sounded surprised by the words.
“I know, huh?” They flagged down a cab, leaving Bish the car, just in case, and hopped in.
Rook leaned against him after he’d told the driver where they were going. “I don’t think I’ve been hungry since it happened.”
“This has been hard. Really.” He held Rook’s hand. “I want him to wake up.”
Rook nodded, squeezing his hand. “You’ve been so good to us. I really don’t know what we’d have done without you. Truly.”