by Sean Michael
They went at it until he was exhausted, until his whole body followed through on the hits, making him stumble against Jason. He was caught in strong arms, given a safe place to fall. He panted, his breaths tearing out of him as he let Jason support him.
Jason didn’t say a word, that strong heart beating against him. He closed his eyes and breathed, just breathed.
The pain wasn’t gone—in fact, he thought he’d hurt a little bit forever—but it was survivable. He hoped. God, he was exhausted.
“You want the shower?”
“Fuck, yeah.” He wasn’t sure he could stand, but with Jason helping he managed.
Jason got him under the water, the heat banging down on him. He leaned, barely noticing as Jason washed him. God, the water felt good. When was the last time he’d been clean?
His hair was soaped, scalp scrubbed, those fingers digging in. He actually moaned, hands landing on Jason’s hips.
“I got you.”
“You do.”
Jason really did.
Chapter Nine
Rook chattered away to Knight, talking about nothing and everything. When he ran out of things to say, he started recounting the last movie he’d seen—coma patients could hear you and it was supposed to help, right?
Knight was so still, so pale, and the doctors kept looking more and more worried. Rook was clinging to the fact that Knight had to wake up because they needed him. And they did, damn it.
“K? We need you to wake up now, okay? I mean really, really.”
Bishop was going to lose his goddamn mind. Like really. He was more sure of it every day. So Knight had to wake up.
He found Knight’s hand and wrapped his around it. Knight’s hand was so cold. “Need you, K. You’re a part of us.”
He thought, maybe, Knight’s fingers twitched. Maybe.
“That’s right. You have to come back to us. You have to.”
Bishop and Jason came in, a Tim Horton’s box and three coffees in their hands.
“Oh, put that near Knight—he loves coffee.” Maybe the smell would help. After all, the man practically lived on it some days.
Jason nodded. “How is he?”
“I think his fingers moved. Just a bit, but there was a twitch.” He was trying to be casual about it because he couldn’t be a hundred percent sure he’d actually felt it.
Bish came over. “His fingers moved?”
“I swear, Bish, they did.” At least he prayed it had been more than just wishful, needful thinking. He was still clutching Knight’s hand, wanting it to happen again. “I told him he had to wake up because we need him.”
The long fingers moved. He felt it. And this time he was sure. He gasped. “Bish! Grab his other hand!” This hand was his, he wasn’t letting go. “You heard that, didn’t you, K? You heard it when I said we need you. It’s true, too, we do.”
Bishop growled low. “Knight. If you’re in there, you’d better fucking let me know.”
Jason blinked as he came over and put the doughnuts down. “Should I get the doctor?”
“I don’t know, honey—I think so. Yes. Come on, K. Do it again. We’re all here and there’s coffee and we need you. I need you.”
Those fingers twitched again and this time Bishop looked over at him, eyes fucking huge. “Rookie…”
Oh, fuck yes. Yes. It wasn’t just him. This was really happening.
He laughed softly. “Oh, God. It’s real. His fingers moved! You moved, K! You moved.”
“Is he waking up?” Jason looked from Knight to Rook to Bishop.
Rook looked up at Knight’s face. It looked the same, pale and not lifelike at all. But those fingers moved again and Rook had to blink back sudden tears.
“He has to be— He’s moving.”
Bishop leaned down, whispering in Knight’s ear, the big man’s shoulders hitching. Knight’s heart monitor sped, the beeps going faster.
Jason whispered, “He hears Bish.”
Rook nodded, head bobbing rapidly. “Keep going, Bish. Keep talking to him.”
One of the nurses came in, looking at the monitors. “Oh, it looks like someone’s trying to wake up. I’ll call Dr Auguste.”
He felt the laughter trying to bubble up out of him. “Come on, Knight. Come back to us.”
Knight moaned. Actually moaned.
“Guys, I’m going to need room in here.” The doctor came in, offered them a smile.
“No.” Rook shook his head. “We can’t go. He’s waking up—we need to be here for him.”
Bish grunted and Rook knew it meant Bish was agreeing with him.
“I’m sorry, but I need to make sure he’s not hurting. You can come back in a few minutes.”
Bish growled, but then nodded. “Okay, guys, come on, let’s give the doctor some room.” Bish headed out and Rook and Jase followed.
Rook grabbed both their hands in his. “Bish—he’s waking up!”
“He is. I want to be in there.”
“Me too. Me too.” He clung to Bishop’s and Jason’s hands. “I can’t stand just standing here, waiting.”
“We have to. We have to so we can go back in.” Jason squeezed his fingers.
Rook knew Jason was right, but it didn’t mean he liked it.
Bishop let go of his hand and started pacing, muttering under his breath, eyes shooting back to Knight’s room.
“This is worse than when he first went into surgery.” Rook started biting at his lower lip.
“No, it’s not,” Bishop countered as he looked over at him, eyebrow arched. “I was afraid he was going to die then.”
“Point.” Rook sighed. “It’s hard, though.” Waiting. The hope right there, just out of reach at the moment.
“Yeah.”
The doctor came out, came to them. “He’s trying to regain consciousness. His vitals are stronger today. I’m going to suggest you take turns speaking to him.”
“We can do that.” Rook could talk. He could talk forever if he had to.
Bishop nodded. “Is it good?”
Dr Auguste nodded, clapped Bishop on the arm. “Yes. God, yes. He has to start coming back.”
“Can we all go in?” Rook was ready to go right now and talk and talk until Knight got so sick of his babble he popped up in that bed and told him to shut the fuck up already. But they’d only been allowed to all go in since they’d moved Knight from the ICU, and he didn’t know if the procedure was going to change now that Knight was waking up for them.
The doctor nodded, then winked. “I fully expect to throw everyone out to let him sleep, soon.”
“Like to see you try,” muttered Bishop.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Rook said loudly, hoping to cover for Bishop—better the doctors didn’t know so they couldn’t make Bishop leave. Rook didn’t want Knight left alone, either.
They headed in. Knight’s right hand was opening and closing over and over. Rook got there first, wrapping his hand with Knight’s, tears streaming down his face. He didn’t even know why he was crying.
Bishop went around to the other side, taking Knight’s other hand.
“Okay. I know you’re in there. You come home to me. I need you, you son of a bitch. You wake up and talk to me.”
That hand squeezed, relaxed, squeezed again.
Now Rook was laughing and crying. God, he was a mess. Knight would hate that. Knight didn’t like it when he was sad. He sniffed and cleared his throat. “Bish is right. We need you to get up now. We’re lopsided without you.”
Jason sat at the end of the bed, fingers massaging Knight’s feet. “You two drink your coffees before they get cold.”
Rook’d totally forgotten about the coffee, but there it was, on the little rolling table that Knight had never used. Yet. He was waking up now and would need it. Rook passed one to Bishop and grabbed his own. “Thanks, honey.” Jason was so good to them.
Bishop tried to let go of Knight’s hand, to fix the lid on his cup, but Knight held on, clung to Bish. They all lo
oked, stunned. Oh, God.
“You know what you want, don’t you, K?” He took some deep breaths, refusing to cry anymore, but this was amazingly good, God damn it, and he’d cried enough over the will he ever wake up? parts.
Bishop nodded and just held on. “Okay. Okay, I’m not going anywhere. You have me.”
Jason kept rubbing, working Knight’s feet and the long toes curled. Knight liked that.
“Keep that up, honey—he’s liking it.” Rook squeezed the hand he held. “You come back to us, K. We’re all here for you.”
“Yep. Give me a doughnut, Rookie.” Bishop looked energized, fierce. “Wake up, Knight. I want to see your eyes.”
Rook grinned at Bishop as he handed over the doughnut. “I want to hear him bitching.”
“I want to see him paint.”
He shot Jason a warm smile. “Yeah. That’ll be amazing, huh?”
“God, yes.” Jason grinned at him, looking relaxed.
Rook could feel the excitement zinging through him and he turned his attention back to Knight. “We’ve each got favorite things about you. You wake up and we’ll tell you how great you are. I know you’d like that.”
Knight’s forehead wrinkled and the man seemed to try to talk around the tube in his mouth.
“You don’t need to talk,” Bishop told him. “Just listen and open those fucking eyes, baby.”
The heart rate monitor sped again and Rook knew Knight was there.
“I’ll turn the lights down, Knight. Make it easier.” Jason moved over to the door.
“Thanks, Jase.” Rook beamed at his lover, just so happy that Knight was waking up, that they were getting their family back.
The lights dimmed and, just like magic, the dark eyelashes moved. Rookie bit his lower lip and put everything he had into willing Knight to open those eyes.
“Come on, Knight. Open them up.” Bishop sounded fierce.
God, he couldn’t breathe. “Come on, come on. Don’t be such a drama queen.”
Jason snorted, then cracked up.
Bishop rolled his eyes, but then chuckled. “You’re a nut-job, Rookie.”
“I’m your nut-jo— Oh, my God. Knight.”
Knight’s eyes were open.
“Look!”
Bishop laughed. “There you are, baby. Welcome back.”
Oh, fuck, Rook was going to start crying again. He squeezed Knight’s hand as tight as he could. Knight blinked and moaned softly around the tubes.
Rook reached over and rang the bell for the nurse. “I’m getting someone to come see if they can take those awful tubes out, K.”
Bishop was just staring at Knight like he was going to keep their lover there and awake and aware by sheer force of will. Knight held on, then a single tear escaped, and Bish wiped it off.
It was amazing what a difference it made just having those eyes open. Oh, Knight still looked like shit, but at least he looked like live shit, now.
“We’re going to get you comfortable. I’m right here, and I’m not leaving.” Bishop looked serious as a heart attack.
The nurse came in. “You guys— Oh! You’re awake, Mr. Knight. Let me get the doctor and see if we can’t get that tube out of you.”
Jason touched his arm. “They’re going to ask us to leave again, Rook.”
He nodded, glad that Bishop was on the other side of Knight, the side farthest from the door and around the bed. “Don’t let them chase you away, Bish.” He was terrified Knight would disappear into his own head again if they all left.
Bish growled. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He nodded. Good. He wasn’t leaving till they told him he had to, but it would be easier knowing Knight wouldn’t be alone. He looked at Knight. “I love you, huh? You came back to us.”
Knight blinked at him. That was a yes blink. An I heard you blink. He was sure of it. Rook nodded and squeezed Knight’s hand again.
“All right.” That was the doctor’s voice and, sure enough, he started shooing them out.
“I’ll be back, I promise.” He squeezed Knight’s hand one last time and let Jason tug him out.
He held close the image of those eyes staring at him. Their Knight was coming back to them.
Thank every fucking major and minor deity out there.
Chapter Ten
The dreams were wild, intense, constant…and Knight couldn’t wake up.
He knew they were dreams, because his Bishop wasn’t there, his studio wasn’t there, and he didn’t live without those. Rookie, either. Even Jase. His life. He knew. Still, he couldn’t wake up, and he wanted to.
“You’ve got to wake up again, Knight. I’m not letting you go back to sleep forever on us.”
He frowned. Bish? Mouse? Is that you?
“Don’t you frown at me. I’m the one sitting here waiting for you to be awake again. And I’m tired of it. I need you—we all do.”
Oh.
Oh, Bish.
It was real.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Warmth slid against his cheek. “I know you’re in there, baby. You showed us that this morning. Now wake the fuck up.”
He turned toward the heat, mouth moving. “Mouse.”
“You fucking know it. I am right goddamned here. All you have to do to prove it is open your eyes.”
Something warm brushed his lips.
He hummed and opened his eyes, blinking slowly. Whoa. Bright.
The light suddenly got dimmer and Bishop’s face appeared in his field of vision.
“Mouse.” Oh, it was real.
Bishop grinned at him. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“You.” He swallowed. “I was dreaming.”
“Yeah? About me?” Bish kept touching him.
“No.” No. Bish hadn’t been there.
“Well, I’m here in real life. I’m here when you’re awake.”
“Good. Here?”
“The hospital. Do you remember the snow plow?”
“The what?” He was so confused.
“It’s okay. Maybe it’s better you don’t remember what happened.”
A panic started building inside him and he tried to sit up. Pain shot through him, his muscles screaming, and he cried out.
“Shh. Hey, hey. Take it easy. You just stay still, baby.” Bishop cupped his face and stared into his eyes.
“Help me. I need…” Where was he?
“I’ve got ice chips I can feed you. But you’ve been out of it for a long time.”
He looked around. They weren’t home. He wasn’t home. He… “I can’t.”
“You’re at the hospital. You were hurt.”
“I thought maybe someone was awake in here.” The voice was female, overly cheerful.
“I…”
She came over, her scrubs a dark blue, her eyes brown. “Breathe. You’re in the hospital. You’ve been badly injured and in a coma, but you’re recovering.”
“Bish?”
“Yeah, what she said. Hospital. It was bad there for a while, but you’re awake now.”
“Home.” He couldn’t hold his head up. So tired.
“Soon, baby. You’ve got to get better first.”
“Home.”
The woman messed with something in his IV, and the pain backed off, the room distant and soft.
“We’ll get you there, I promise. You have to get well first.” Bishop held his hand, and he fought the dreams, the darkness. It was so close.
“I’m going to stay with you until we can take you home. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise? You promise?”
“I swear to fucking God, Knight.”
“Bish? Bish? The nurse said he was awake again.” Oh, that sounded like Rookie.
He blinked, tried to focus. “Rookie.”
“Oh, K!” Rook’s beaming face came into his field of vision.
So dizzy. So much. His head felt all spinny. Rook kissed him carefully.
“I can’t�
�” Heavy. His eyelids were so heavy.
“Oh, I missed your awakeness, didn’t I?”
He heard Bishop’s laughter. “He talked to me. Talked to me, Rookie. Did you want to kiss him hello, Jase, before he’s asleep?”
“I do.” The kid’s face appeared, and his forehead was kissed. “Hey, Knight.”
“Kiddo.”
“Welcome back.”
“Mouse. Tired.” He was so tired.
“You can sleep, baby. But you have to wake up again soon.”
Good. Good. Sleep. Knight winced, the dreams swallowing him alive.
* * * *
It was another six hours before Knight woke up again, but Bish didn’t care. He rode those six hours on the most amazing high. Every now and then he’d look over at Rookie or Jase and grin like a fool at them. They always grinned back.
And here Knight was again, those dark eyes staring up at him.
“Hey, baby. Welcome back.”
“Mouse.” Knight blinked, frowning.
“Right here.” He stroked Knight’s cheek, needing the connection. He figured Knight needed it, too.
“Was dreaming.” Knight reached for him.
“I know.” He grabbed Knight’s hands, twining their fingers together. “Did you dream of me this time?”
“No. You aren’t there.”
“Then you need to change your dreams.” He kissed Knight softly, the poor lips all chapped, even though Rookie’d been ChapSticking them every day. “You thirsty? There’s ice chips.”
“Uh-huh.” The casts and tubes and shit were maddening, but those long fingers held onto him.
He reached over and grabbed an ice chip, bringing it to Knight’s mouth and rubbing it across Knight’s lips. Knight shivered, lips parting, tongue flicking at the ice. For a while there he’d thought he’d never see Knight awake—really alive—again. He took in a shuddering breath and fed the ice chip into Knight’s mouth.
“Want to go home.”
“Yeah, I hear that. I want to go home, too.”
“Now?”
“We can’t, baby. You’re hooked up to too many wires.”
Knight didn’t seem to understand how hurt he was, how fucked up this was. Maybe it was the drugs and maybe it was for the best. Time enough for him to realize it when he was feeling better.