Alex stared down at the roll-up in his hand. ‘Not normally. I still classify myself as an ex-one. It’s only at moments of peak stress.’
‘But you aced it. It couldn’t have gone better.’ I bounced up and down on my toes, excited for him. ‘I hear the Ladies’ Guild were all in raptures.’
Alex nodded soberly. ‘It’s true. They couldn’t have been happier. “Ten marks out of ten.”’
‘Great, then they’ll tell their friends, who’ll tell their friends, and you’ll be packed out every day.’
Alex nodded again, staring out over the garden, but he was lost in thought and looked painfully distracted.
‘Maybe I should give you your space,’ I said. ‘You look like you could do with another minute or two.’
Alex turned, shaking his head, snapping out of his trance state. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Stay here and have a beer with me. You’re right, even a minor victory is worth celebrating.’
He flicked away the half-smoked cigarette, bent down and pulled out two ice-cold bottles, dimpled with condensation, from the cooler at his feet. Opening the first one, he handed it to me then cracked open the second. Tilting the bottle neck towards me, he offered a simple toast.
‘Cheers, Daisy. Here’s to you. Thanks for all your help. It really is appreciated.’
I hesitated before lifting my own bottle, although I could tell that Alex was being sincere.
‘But I’ve hardly done anything,’ I said, ‘except stand behind that counter all morning and serve the odd customer. What I have to show for that, in real terms, is twenty-three pounds and thirty-six pence.’
Alex smiled at me with genuine affection. ‘It helps you just being here, Daisy, if that doesn’t sound too mad.’
I brought the bottle to my mouth, hoping to hide my flushing cheeks, and took a big slug of beer.
‘Did you do all this?’ I asked, gesturing at the garden, ‘it’s amazing.’
‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘I like spending time out here when I can. It helps me to unwind. I call it gardening, but really it’s just an excuse to drink beer in the sun.’
‘Busted,’ I said, smiling.
‘Here, try this,’ Alex said. He wandered over to a clutch of tomato plants loosely curled around vertical canes. He picked a particularly plump specimen and handed it to me. I ate it like an apple, sun-warmed and straight from the vine. Delicious.
‘Is this basil?’ I asked, looking at the green herbs that grew in profusion around the tomato plants. Alex pinched a few leaves from the stem and handed them to me. I rubbed them between my fingers releasing the scent and then stuck them in my mouth.
‘Will you stay and chat for a while?’ Alex said. I nodded and took another slug of beer. We strolled along the garden and sank into a rattan furniture set that was covered by a large white parasol.
Sitting in the shade with my legs in the sun, I idly ran my fingers through Wolf’s fur while trying not to get distracted by wondering whether Alex was hiding another kind of six-pack under his T-shirt.
Wolf mooned up at me adoringly. I made a kissy noise at him. ‘Good dog,’ I said. His tail wagged enthusiastically. By now I was thoroughly in love with the old ham.
‘So, I met Tina and Trevor,’ I said apprehensively.
Alex snorted. ‘You mean The Bitch and The Pervert.’
Nothing could have made me happier than to hear him describe them that way.
‘They didn’t seem too keen on me,’ I said.
‘What did they have to say for themselves exactly?’
I gave him the express version.
Alex shook his head in disgust. ‘Unbelievable. At least it would be if I expected anything different from them.’
‘She said she’s a friend of the family?’
‘On my dad’s side,’ Alex said. ‘Their parents were friends. Dad and Tina used to play together as kids, and she seems to think that gives her some sort of right to poke her nose into our family’s business. To be honest, I think Dad found her quite tiresome.
‘Um…I used to date their daughter, Mandy too,’ he said looking at me sidelong as though checking to see if that bothered me. I arranged my face into a neutral expression.
‘I tolerate them both when it’s necessary, but I won’t have them upsetting you. I’ll talk to them,’ Alex said. ‘Put them straight.’
‘No, no,’ I said, waving it off. ‘No need. It’s just, I guess, are people really talking about me?’
‘Of course,’ Alex said. ‘Some hot girl arrives from out of nowhere and moves into the local bookshop. I bet half the mothers in town have got you lined up for their sons. The other half are no doubt considering calling Interpol.’
‘I hope to God you’re exaggerating.’
‘Well, maybe a bit.’
We moved on to talking about my favourite subject. Food! ‘Well,’ Alex said, when I asked him where he got his cooking skills from, ‘my mum and my nonna taught me to cook. Then, of course, Joe had to be involved. When we were kids, Joe wanted to copy everything I did. Not so much anymore. It’s good that Joe’s his own man, but a little bit of hero worship wouldn’t go amiss. I think he thinks I’m a bit of a hopeless case.’
I doubted anyone would think that, but I didn’t say anything.
‘Did you add the café recently?’
‘A few years back. I thought it would help bring some extra revenue in.’
Something in his tone made me think he wasn’t generating enough of it. That in turn reminded me of the hoard of unopened bills in the stock room. I saw them again in my mind’s eye—that trove of troubling correspondence that Alex had sought to hide away.
‘Did you buy the bookshop yourself?’ I asked him.
Alex looked back at me and shook his head. ‘No. It was Dad’s dream. He’s the one who started this place, built it up from nothing. Saw it as a civic duty as much as anything, with Upper Finlay having no library. When he passed away, there was talk of selling the place, although that’s not what any of us wanted. Instead, I moved back here and decided to give it a go.’
As he spoke, Alex frowned as if he doubted the wisdom of following in his father’s footsteps. I felt a sudden urge to kiss the line that appeared in his forehead. To sooth it away with my hand. I squeezed my fingers into a tight ball before I did something stupid.
‘I miss Dad, we all do. It’s like there’s this permanent hole in our family where he used to be. But I’ve been really happy running this place these last few years. Being my own boss. I just wish it made a little more money.’
Alex was obviously in a deep hole, financially speaking. And it was going to take more than an occasional booking from the local Ladies’ Guild to dig him out of it. Normally, he was upbeat and cheerful, but at that moment he appeared to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. As with the worry lines on Alex’s forehead, I wanted nothing more than to ease the burden and make them go away. But what could I do? I was practically penniless myself. Suddenly, an idea came to me. There was one skill I had to offer.
‘You don’t have a website, do you?’
‘You mean for the bookshop?’ Alex replied. ‘No. There’s nothing very digital about this place.’
‘Is that like a principled thing or is it because you’re not sure how to go about it?’
Alex considered the question thoughtfully. ‘Probably a bit of both.’
I shook my head. ‘For all your practical skills, you really are a bit of a Luddite. You’re not even on Facebook!’
Alex raised an eyebrow. ‘Been checking up on me, have you?’
‘That’s not the point,’ I said primly. ‘I told you how I wanted to work in the digital industry, but I wasn’t qualified and no one will hire me. Well, how do you fancy being my first client? What say I build you a shiny new website? I’m not saying it will transform your fortunes overnight, but i
t can’t hurt, right? You’ve got this beautiful bookshop, amazing food…’ A hot proprietor, I thought but didn’t say. ‘Unless they stumble on it by accident, no one outside of Upper Finlay even knows about it.
‘I could get you set up with a basic online presence, a place where punters all over the world can find you. Not just the ones at the end of the street. Maybe nothing will come of it but we could at least give it a shot!’
I’d hoped my offer might have shifted Alex’s worried look, but the creases remained on his forehead.
‘That all sounds great, Daisy, but things really are a bit tight this month. I don’t see how I could pay you.’
‘Don’t worry,’ I hurried on, ‘I wouldn’t expect you to pay me. One thing I realised that’s holding me back, it’s like a vicious cycle. You can’t get work in this industry without experience, but you can’t get experience because no one will hire you without it! What I mean is, I can use you as a showcase of what I can do. And then there’s your personal testimony, if you were happy with the website. A rave review wouldn’t go amiss! Maybe it’ll be enough to get me a job somewhere, even if I have to start at the bottom of the pile. Anyway, I don’t want to get rusty, this’ll help keep my skills sharp.’
Alex stroked his chin, not entirely convinced. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable taking advantage of you like that.’
‘You taking advantage of me! That’s a good one! You’ve done so much for me already, Alex,’ I said, ‘I feel like I owe you.’
He shook his head firmly. ‘You don’t owe me anything, Daisy,’ he said. Oh dammit, I’d insulted him.
I put my beer bottle down by the side of the chair. ‘Well, we can either spend forever arguing about who owes what to who, or you can let me get on with this.’
Alex considered it a little longer, his frown still on show. But finally it scattered and a broad smile replaced it. ‘Okay, you’re on, if it means helping you out with the job hunt let’s go for it. Just as long as you’re not expecting me to oversee this shiny new website in any way.’
I laughed. ‘You’re not getting off that easy. We’ll make a digital native of you yet.’
Alex chuckled in response and sprang out of his chair, back to his usual upbeat self. ‘Well, I’d better head in and see how Joe’s getting on.’
When we returned to the kitchen, Joe was just ending a phone call. He took the phone from his ear.
‘Making arrangements for tonight?’ Alex asked.
Joe nodded. ‘I’m meeting Annie over at The Blacksmith’s for a few drinks.’
‘Anyone else from your crew going?’ Alex asked.
Joe shrugged. ‘Mandeep said he might. Maybe Jack,’ he said a bit grumpily. I had the feeling both Joe and Jack had their eye on Annie.
‘What about you?’
‘The Nelson,’ Alex said.
‘It’s disco night at The Nelson Arms,’ Alex explained to me, ‘which is about as classy as it sounds. But by that stage nobody really cares. You’re welcome to join us.’
Instinctively, I shook my head. ‘I better not.’
‘Oh, go on, Daisy,’ said Joe. ‘What’s the point of spending time in Upper Finlay without sampling its world-class nightlife?’
I bit my bottom lip, undecided. ‘Will there be many people there?’
‘A few,’ Alex said, ‘but my friends are lovely and they’re dying to meet you.’
‘Alex has already filled them in,’ Joe said, smirking.
‘Well, maybe just for a bit,’ I said.
‘Are you saying you’ll come?’ Alex asked.
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I think I am.’
‘Way to go, Daisy!’ Joe offered me a high-five. ‘We’ll make a local out of you yet.’
‘It’s a miracle,’ Alex said. I folded my arms and pretended to be cross.
‘What time are we leaving?’
‘I’m going to pop home and have a shower,’ Alex told me. ‘I’ll pick you up in half an hour?’
‘Oh God,’ I said. ‘I need to put some makeup on.’
‘Good idea,’ Joe said—to the amusement of all.
Twenty-Three
I hurried upstairs to get myself ready for the big night out, nervous and excited about what lay ahead. It may only have been a disco night in the local pub, but it felt good to put myself out there.
I felt a flutter of excitement as I checked myself out in the bathroom mirror. My hair was in its natural unruly state, but I found I no longer minded. Why, I wondered, had I been torturing my poor hair for all these years? It wanted to curl. So I should let it! I kept on the pretty sundress – nothing to do with Alex admiring it of course – and paired it with a cute pair of strappy wedges I’d found in TCFCTSI. Not bad, Daisy. Not bad.
I realised my elation also had to do with my offer to build a website for Alex. My head was already buzzing with ideas. As usual I was twenty steps ahead of reality, imagining a vast digital empire. Me at the helm—a female, British, slightly less wankery Zuckerberg.
‘Nothing less than world domination will do,’ I said, striking a pose.
But fantasy aside, could I really do this—build something that Alex could be proud of? Maybe help myself in the process? The little devil on my shoulder said, ‘Of course not, dummy. You’re living in someone’s attic. You don’t even have a proper computer.’ I took a deep breath and brushed that devil away. I was tired of listening to her. From now on, I was going to listen to myself.
Well then, I asked myself, Daisy, do you have all the skills you need to do this?
I do, I replied. What, then, was I dithering for? I could give up. Wait for someone else to give me an opportunity to prove myself. Or I could give myself permission to try. If you want to succeed, I realised, Daisy, you’re going to have to do it your own damn self!
I was so excited that I jumped up on the bed and did a little dance. Puffing, I sank cross-legged onto the bed. I was really going to do this.
Buoyed up by my pep talk and brimming with positivity, I bounced downstairs and graciously let Alex feed me home-made lasagne. As I helped myself to a second portion, I reasoned it was important to line my stomach if I was going to be drinking.
After that, we left by the back door and took a route that was new to me. We strolled down a few narrow winding lanes that I hadn’t come across before.
At the end of the last alleyway, The Nelson reared into view. Alex opened the door and we stepped through into the main bar of a proper British pub. Rough-hewn wooden floors and heavy oak beams. At the back, a long, wooden bar lined with chatting locals. I was immediately enveloped in an atmosphere of beery warmth and laughter.
‘Well, this is the local,’ Alex said. The place was buzzing.
‘It’s busy!’
‘Just follow me.’ He grabbed hold of my hand and I let him pull me through the crowded pub lounge. I was surprised by how many people I recognised, and we stopped and said hello to several of our regular customers; a group of now-tipsy tourists who had spent several hours browsing the bookshop that afternoon; and Janice and her husband, who were polishing off homemade steak pie and chips. A scruffy looking dog lay curled happily at their feet.
Tina and Trevor were in the corner with their daughter. On spotting us, all three pulled a face like they were sucking on a lemon. Alex gave them a curt nod and we moved on.
We spotted Liam, leaning casually against the bar, sipping a pint and chatting to the barmaid. He waved across at us.
‘Your lot are outside in the beer garden,’ he said to Alex.
‘Cheers, mate.’
‘Alright, Daisy love.’ Liam gave me a wink. ‘Looking good,’ he said. I blushed.
For a moment Alex’s grip on my hand tightened. Was he jealous? Liam was grinning knowingly.
‘Come on,’ Alex said, ‘let’s go find the others
.’
‘Sure.’
We stepped outside into the warm evening. The beer garden was dotted with groups of people sitting on wooden benches. Flocks of children ran around, squealing merrily, while their parents tried to round them up.
Alex stood for a moment craning his neck. I stood behind him, a prickle of anxiety in my chest. I felt suddenly shy. What if they didn’t like me? What if I couldn’t think of anything to say?
‘There they are,’ he said, pointing to a wooden bench full of people talking, laughing and drinking.
I plastered a friendly grin on my face then took it down a notch when Alex said, ‘No need to be nervous.’ He touched my arm lightly. ‘It’ll be fine.’
‘I’m not nervous,’ I lied. Alex laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
‘Come on,’ he said. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
As we approached, there was a chorus of friendly hellos and lots of hugs and backslapping until Alex managed to untangle himself and introduce me, going through the group one by one.
‘This is Noah,’ Alex said. Noah was a big, burly guy with a beard and a mop of messy hair.
‘Nice to meet you,’ he said, jumping up and wrapping me in a quick friendly bear hug.
‘Oh,’ I said, a little taken aback but pleased. ‘Nice to meet you too.’
‘This is Max.’ Max, who was quite unreasonably handsome, gave me a casual salute.
‘Man of few words?’ I asked.
‘Yup,’ Max said.
‘Never mind him,’ Noah said, ‘he’s in one of his moods.’ Max rolled his eyes and carried on drinking.
Alex moved on to a man and woman with dark hair who shared a striking similarity.
‘These are the twins, Rosie and Jim.’ I avoided making the obvious comparison to the classic children’s TV show about the ragdolls Rosie and Jim. Instead I just nodded and said, ‘Hi.’
‘It’s okay, you can say it,’ Jim said. ‘Our parents think they’re funny.’
‘Well,’ Rosie said, tucking her arm around Alex’s waist. She looked tiny next to his broad frame. ‘We were starting to think you’d made her up.’ Alex grinned down at her good-naturedly.
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