I’d dreamed of this moment. But the last month had changed things. I hadn’t known how much until Phil brandished the engagement ring. As it turned out, I may have left Upper Finlay, but Upper Finlay had not left me.
I bit into my bottom lip, then spoke at last. ‘Actually, Phil, I don’t think I do want you down on bended knee.’
‘What do you mean?’ he said, looking up at me. ‘Oh well I suppose it is a bit corny, but I thought you liked all that romance crap. Here let me just pop this on your finger and we’ll crack open the champers.’
‘No, Phil. You’re not hearing me.’
He looked deeply puzzled until finally it dawned on him that I was turning him down, giving rise to a look of sheer disbelief. ‘Is this still to do with the Francesca thing? Because I’ve already apologised for that.’
‘I’m not sure you did, Phil. Not really,’ I said. ‘But anyway, that’s only part of it.’
‘Right. I see. Then would you care to tell me what the other parts are?’ His voice was becoming more hostile by the second.
‘You take me for granted,’ I said. ‘Always have. This is the perfect example. I told you we needed to talk first, but your whole focus is on getting your own way.’
‘But I love you,’ he whined. I put both hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. ‘No, Phil,’ I said. ‘You don’t.’
Phil let out a bitter laugh. ‘Do you have any idea what you’re saying? What you’re in the process of throwing away? You really want to say goodbye to all this? There’s no chance you’ll be able to afford a lifestyle that comes anywhere near it.’
‘Actually,’ I said. ‘It turns out that I can fend for myself quite nicely.’
Phil’s eyes narrowed with suspicion as something dawned on him. ‘Did you cheat on me?’ He spluttered disbelief, getting to his feet so that he towered over me.
I cocked my hip, and put my hand on it. ‘Not yet,’ I said. A vein started to pulse in Phil’s temple.
‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’
‘It means I say no, Phil. No to your half-hearted shitty proposal and no to you.’
‘Please, Goose. You’re not thinking straight. You must be tired after everything that’s happened. Sleep on it. Give it a day. We can review the situation again in the morning.’
‘There’s nothing to review,’ I said. ‘I’ve made up my mind.’
As Phil realised he wasn’t going to get his own way, his whole demeanour shifted.
‘Pack your things,’ he said abruptly. ‘I want you gone. You’ve got exactly one hour to vacate the apartment. Not that it should take you very long – it’s not like any of the stuff in here actually belongs to you.’
‘You know what,’ I said. ‘Bag it and bin it. I’ve got everything I need right here in my cheap-ass bag.’
‘So that’s it?’ Phil said.
‘That’s it,’ I nodded.
He laughed, his voice dripping with scorn. ‘You’re making the biggest mistake of your life. You do know I can have my pick of women.’
‘You mean like Francesca?’ I said.
‘If you must know, it’s been going on for years, our little dalliance.’
If he’d meant to hurt me with that revelation he’d failed. All he’d done was remove any last shred of guilt I might have felt at rejecting him.
‘That says more about you than it does about me,’ I said, heading for the door. By the time he had gathered his wits enough to respond, I was already gone.
Forty-Three
It was getting to be a habit, striding away from the apartment after a blow-up with Phil. But this time, I wasn’t dazed, I wasn’t confused. I knew exactly where I was going. The world, and everything in it, had suddenly become crystal clear.
It was only when I got back to Euston and neared the ticket counter, that it dawned on me that I barely had a penny left to my name. I experienced a flutter of panic. I’d bought a one-way ticket from Upper Finlay that morning, spending the last of my redundancy money in the process. I didn’t have enough left to buy a ticket back.
Alex had wanted to give me all the cash he had in the till to tide me over, but I’d refused it on principle. It had felt good at the time, but right now I wished I’d been a little bit more mercenary. I rummaged around in my bag. Maybe there was a couple of screwed-up tenners that I’d somehow overlooked.
Wait, what’s this? My fingers brushed against a sealed envelope in the side pocket. I pulled it out and examined it. Daisy was written across the front in Alex’s distinctive scrawl. Opening it up, I discovered a clutch of twenty-pound notes with a slip of paper wrapped around them. Removing it, I read the accompanying message: Nice try x
I realised he must have slipped it into my bag as we’d said goodbye. The sneak. Now I laughed, removing three twenties, and joined the back of the queue.
A half hour later, I was on the train, staring out of the window as London fell away behind me. Thinking back on the last month and everything I’d learned, I realised I was stronger and more capable than I’d ever given myself credit for. I didn’t need anyone’s help to succeed. I, Daisy Monroe, could do it myself. But I was coming to the realisation that even though I could, it didn’t mean I had to.
Just to piss on my self-praise parade, my phone rang. I looked at the caller display and saw that it was Mum. If I had to guess, I’d say Phil had called her with a rundown of the day’s events.
‘Daisy,’ she said flatly.
‘Mum.’
‘I have it on good authority that you’ve left Phillip. For good this time.’
I nodded, although there was no-one watching me. ‘Yep. That pretty much covers it.’
‘He tells me he got down on bended knee and offered to make you his lawfully wedded wife, only for you to throw the ring back in his face.’
‘Bit of an exaggeration,’ I said.
‘But you did say no?’
‘I’m afraid so,’ I said brightly. Somehow her disapproval no longer seemed to have as much power to wound me. I waited for her cutting response.
Instead she surprised me by saying, ‘I saw you on the television.’
‘Huh?’
‘Oh you know what I mean, the laptop thingy.’
‘You did?’
‘Yes, well Gerald’s absolutely crazy for that Tom Benchley fella.’
Of course he was.
‘So when he heard about the book reading, he was all of a tizzy. We could hardly believe our eyes when we saw you there hovering in the background. Gerald’s been telling everyone at the club about it. He’s ever so proud.’
Bully for Gerald, I thought, but secretly I was a little bit pleased.
‘What on earth is going on with you, Daisy?’
I briefly filled her in.
‘Well that all sounds like quite the adventure,’ she said. ‘But where do you go from here?’
‘To Upper Finlay,’ I said. ‘I’m making my way there even as we speak.’
‘And what’s in Upper Finlay that’s worth ruining your marriage prospects for? Would you care to tell me that?’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘I have friends there now, for one thing. Possibly a fledgling career.’
Mum harrumphed.
I hesitated. ‘Then there’s Alex.’
‘Alex…’ she said. ‘I don’t suppose he’s that slice of heaven that introduced Tom Benchley last night.’
‘Mum!’
‘What, darling? I am a sexual creature in my own right you know. My therapist says it’s very important that I am recognised as such.’
‘Of course, Mum.’
‘So you’ve dumped a sure thing like Phillip, for some…bookstore owner. However dishy.’
‘Phil’s a loser and he treats me like shit, Mum. Is that what you want for me?’
It was like a
superpower I’d suddenly developed – this ability to tell the truth clearly and calmly.
Several seconds passed before she spoke again. ‘I suppose not, dear. And this…Alex. He’s different, is he?’
‘Yes. He is.’
There was another, shorter pause before Mum spoke again. ‘Well, all right.’
‘I thought you’d try and talk me out of it,’ I said.
‘You sound exactly like I did when I first met your father. Nobody could talk me around or tell me any different. I only hope you’ve made a better choice than I did.’
‘Oh, Mum. I am sorry that Dad treated you that way.’
‘Me too, kid,’ she said.
‘I have your blessing then?’
Mum gave a sharp laugh, which made her sound more like her old self. ‘I wouldn’t go that far, darling. I still think you’ve made a mistake. At the same time, I only want the best for you. Always have. Always will.’
It took me a long while to answer her.
‘Thanks, Mum. It means a lot to me to hear that.’
‘Yes, well I’d better get on then. I’ve got to make Gerald his lunch.’
It was late afternoon when I arrived in Upper Finlay. The walk from the train station was as pretty as ever. But it couldn’t go soon enough. I was nervous, scared, but there was no hint of confusion. I knew exactly what I wanted. And who.
As I strode along the high street, passing TCFCTSI, I saw that Auntie Lou had not moved from her armchair. She looked up from her dog-eared paperback as I walked past and gave me the thumbs up with her spare hand. I laughed, repeating the gesture.
Bloody hell, the bookshop was packed. I could see Janice behind the counter, serving a long queue.
I walked around the side of the building and entered the courtyard behind it. Stepping quietly through the kitchen door, I could hear music coming from inside. I tried the handle and opened the door. Peering through, I saw Alex sat at the table, while he sorted piles of paperwork into neat stacks.
I pushed the door open the rest of the way.
Alex sat up straight, startled. ‘Daisy…What are you doing here? Did you forget something?’ I could see hope cross his face and he quickly supressed it.
‘The position of digital guru,’ I said. ‘I was wondering if it was still available?’
‘Strange as it might seem, I haven’t filled that position since the last time you were here, roughly eight hours ago,’ he said with a smile.
‘Good,’ I said. ‘Because I’m going to set up my own agency. You can be my first client.’
‘And what does Phil have to say about that?’
I stepped fully into the kitchen and closed the door behind me. ‘Phil doesn’t get a say. Not anymore.’
‘Oh?’
He studied me intently.
I stood in the doorway, feeling awkward. Was it possible I had misread the situation?
‘Please Daisy,’ Alex said, ‘put me out of my misery. I don’t think I can stand it. Is it just work; do we go back to being just friends?’ His face filled with hope. ‘Or do you want something more?’
‘How can you be so sure,’ I said, crossing the room, ‘about me, us? After everything I put you through.’
‘Because I love you, Daisy,’ Alex said softly.
I gave him a slow, lazy smile. ‘That’s good,’ I said and slid into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled me to him, his hands trembling as he smoothed back my hair. I ran a soft trail of kisses across his jaw, his mouth curved up.
And then my mouth was on his, his hand tangled in my hair. Our kiss deepened.
When we finally came up for air, I said, ‘Because, Alex Dean, I bloody well love you too.’
About the Author
Gracie loves to create strong, quirky heroines and hopes to introduce you to your latest book-boyfriend crush.
She makes her home in the stunning Peak District in Derbyshire. Where she lives with her partner—amid ongoing negotiations over the size of her book collection and whose job it is to take out the bins!
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Daisy Does it Herself Page 20