by Martina Cole
‘You assume right. He’s uncomfortable but in no real danger.’
Kenny sighed.
‘He ain’t dead then?’
Maura half-smiled.
‘Not as far as I know, put it that way.’
He knew she was nearing the end of her tether and asked the question he had wanted to ask her for a while but had never had the guts to do so.
‘What will you do if Tommy is dead?’
She shrugged.
‘To be honest it’d probably solve a dilemma. He betrayed my family and they want him dead.’
He looked hard at her for any sign of what she was really feeling; as usual she was a closed book.
‘And Benny?’
She shrugged again.
‘I could iron him out, to be honest. I’m sick and tired of him. But I have to take some of the responsibility. I knew he wasn’t all the ticket years ago and should never have let him get to the stage he’s at. But I did and now we have to try and limit the damage.’
Kenny wanted to take her in his arms and hug her but he was not that brave. With Maura you waited until she made a move, and he ruefully accepted that he wasn’t the most gorgeous bloke on God’s earth. Even his own mother conceded he was not exactly the answer to a maiden’s prayer.
‘How’s babes?’
He grinned now and it softened his scarred face.
‘Fucking handsome. I just wish this was all over. Once it is, if we’re still standing then that’s me, Maws. Finished. Out of it. I’m too old for all this shit.’
She stared at him with her clear-eyed gaze and then she lit a cigarette. He watched as she drew the smoke deep into her lungs before blowing it out forcefully.
‘That little girl’s been the making of you, Kenny. You, unlike me, have someone to care for, someone who needs you. Heady stuff. I wish it was me, Ken. Just normality, that would do me at the moment. Benny banged up, God forgive me for saying that, and me own house and a quiet life.’
He laughed.
‘Not too fucking quiet. There’s still a bit of life left in us, surely?’
She smiled.
‘Do you realise that thanks to Alicia you will stay young for years? You will always know what records are in the charts, know what fashions are in and what’s out. Watch TV programmes you would never have dreamt of watching on your own. She will keep you young in mind and heart. You can see her become the person she was meant to be, and you’ll be able to sit back and love her and be proud of her. Do you have any idea just how fucking lucky you really are?’
Her voice was desolate in its loneliness, her face open for once, and he could see yearning on it for what he had. For what most women and men took for granted.
‘I have wasted my whole life,’ Maura admitted painfully. ‘I tried to help Carla and she kicked me in the teeth. Benny is mad, there is nothing but a trail of death and destruction wherever he goes. Is this all my efforts will amount to? Everything’s wrong, Kenny. It’s all gone bad. Even Marge is avoiding me like the plague because she’s shit scared of getting involved with Vic and his vendetta. But that’s kids again, isn’t it? She’s frightened for them, not for herself, and that is what is happening to you, and it can only be a good thing if it gets you out of this madness we mistake for a life.’
Kenny was so sorry for her. He knew she was right, that every word she had uttered was not only heartfelt but true. So true. He hugged her then, a gentle friend’s hug that she returned.
‘This will be over soon, Maura, and then get out of it all, girl. Vic and his kind are like the poor, always with us. Well, let someone else deal with the lunacy they cause.’
Maura hung on to him as if she was drowning, as in truth she felt she was. She was caught up in something over her head and didn’t know how she was going to extricate herself and her family from any of it.
‘I feel like my brain is going to explode with worry. Benny’s on the rampage and going to bring everyone down if we ain’t careful. He’s over the top, too far gone to reason with. The fact he ain’t even been in touch tells me all I need to know. He probably thinks he can make it all right. And that’s my fault! I kept on buying him out of trouble, and now I have bought us trouble that even Bill Gates would be hard pushed to pay his way out of.’
Kenny could smell her perfume. She felt so soft against him and he hugged her close once more, enjoying the feel of her and enjoying, if he was honest, seeing her so vulnerable. He wanted to kiss her, taste her. See what she was like when she wasn’t being the boss lady. She looked up into his face and he was sure she felt the same about him. But that could just be wishful thinking. Lana had loved him in her own way. His ugly mug had never bothered her, she had seen through it to the man underneath. He hoped Maura Ryan could see that far too.
‘What’s going on here then? You two secretly at it or what?’
Garry’s voice was hearty but puzzled and they jumped apart quickly.
‘Don’t be so stupid, Garry, and stop creeping up on people.’
He could hear the anger in his sister’s voice and knew it was embarrassment that was making her so cross.
‘Ooh, touchy. Where’s Mother?’
‘On one of her marathon shopping expeditions as usual. She feels the urge to feed the five thousand regularly, you know that.’
Garry grinned.
‘Handsome grub, though, in fairness to her.’
Maura sighed. Her brothers and their stomachs were of no interest to her at this moment in time. They would have gone to the Last Supper for the food and nothing else. It was all they thought about other than killing, maiming and dealing.
‘Stay to dinner then, Gal, be my guest.’
‘You are one miserable bitch, Maura, do you know that?’
‘So I’ve been told. By the way, Vic is getting in touch in the next twenty-four hours.’
Garry digested this bit of information before smiling again.
‘Are we killing him or what?’
Maura ran her hands through her hair and said testily, ‘Let’s see what he has to say first. I think you and I both know that there’s a story behind this and I for one am interested to hear it.’
‘Same here.’
Garry had all but ignored Kenny. Now he looked at him for long seconds before saying, ‘Yeah. I expect you would be.’
The words were loaded with menace.
‘What’s that supposed to mean, Garry?’
Kenny sounded as annoyed as he felt.
‘Whatever you want it to fucking mean.’
The atmosphere between them was nasty, and filled with imminent violence. Kenny had had enough.
‘Listen here, Garry Ryan, you don’t fucking scare me and you never have. You need me far more than I need you at the moment, remember that.’
Garry was instantly on his dignity.
‘Who d’you fucking think you’re talking to? You think you can barge in here and stick your fucking beak into my family’s business, is that it? You think you’re something fucking special. Well, let me tell you, you ain’t, mate . . .’
Maura crashed her fists down on the table in front of her, shouting, ‘Oh, for crying out loud! Have I got to take this shit every time we have some kind of tear up? Well, listen to me hard, boys. You don’t fucking frighten me, you never have and you never will. I have dealt with the best, and none of them frightened me either.’
The two men looked at her before Kenny said seriously, looking into Garry’s face, ‘None of them frightened me either, as it happens.’
Garry licked his lips and said with a laugh, ‘What, not even your old mate Vic Joliff?’
‘Especially not Vic.’
He walked from the room and Maura, watching him go, felt an acute sense of loss. Kenny was the only normal person around her and his departure left her feeling desolate.
‘Why do you do it, Gal? Why do you always make everything so fucking difficult?’
She could read the confusion in his eyes, knew that he could not
see what he’d done wrong in any way, shape or form. Thought that it was she who was in the wrong, who was rambling.
‘He was trying to help us. Kenny is one of the good guys and you just waltz in here and fuck it all up as usual, with your arrogance and your fucking bad attitude. I have never met anyone like you for pissing on their own fireworks.’
‘I was trying to help too, Maura. I want this sorted out as much as you do!’ He was bellowing now, shouting at her with wild eyes and spittle flying everywhere.
‘You call that helping?’
She was screaming back at him. Her own temper was boiling over and she was past trying to reason with him. It just wasn’t worth it. Garry listened to no one, never had, never would. But he would listen to her now, she was determined on that much.
‘You couldn’t help yourself in a fucking grab-a-tit competition if you was the only entrant! You cause more trouble than you fucking prevent. You and Benny are both fucking headbangers, Garry. It’s me who keeps everything going. Me! I am the one people want to deal with because I am cautious and I am sensible and I don’t want to rip everyone’s fucking heads off! Except yours, of course, and Benny’s. I could do that on a daily basis, you drive me so fucking mad with your carrying on. I am sick of it, you hear me? Sick to fucking death of the lot of it.
‘So, I’ll tell you what, you sort it, Gal. You go and kill everyone and just fucking leave me out of it. I have had enough. Finally, I have had enough.’
He looked at her standing there. She was red-faced with temper and he knew on some deep level that what she was saying was fully justified.
‘I don’t know why I fucking bother, Maura,’ he mumbled, unable to look her in the eye.
‘You don’t know why you bother? Well, join the fucking club.’
Shamilla was crying, and Benny was getting fed up with listening to her.
‘Shut the fuck up, Sham. Anyone would think it was you getting tortured the way you’re carrying on.’
She could hear the irritation in his voice and tried to stem her tears.
‘Go and get the tea towel out of the freezer.’
She ran to do his bidding. When she brought it back he had put another couple of staples into Dezzy’s face. He looked grotesque, but she was happy to see he was still unconscious. Benny used the tea towel to bring down the swelling and tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for his victim to wake up so they could spin the game out a little longer.
‘Do you think Dezzy is in a Korma?’
He laughed heartily at his own joke.
Shamilla pulled her little T-shirt down again. It was a crop top and she was very aware of the way it looked over her large breasts.
Benny saw her and grinned.
‘I wouldn’t touch you with his cock, darling. Fussy what I touch, me. Never had a taste for pig. Funny that, ain’t it? Shagged a few old dogs, though. But you’re safe enough so stop worrying, I ain’t that fucking hard up.’
Even in her distressed state she was dimly aware of the insult to herself. Benny was more aware of it than she was and her hurt expression just made his smile that bit wider.
‘You’ll be used all your life, Sham, people like you always are. You’re a born victim, darling, and you will go to your grave well fucked, well used, and probably with a trail of kids and broken promises behind you, the only things to show you ever existed.’
He watched her cry. He had destroyed her with his words and enjoyed every second of it. He looked around the room at the carnage he had caused, felt his own power once more, loved the feeling of being the instigator of so much fear and desolation.
It was what he was good at, what made him the person he was. Benny Ryan, lunatic, headcase. Loony Tune. He loved the different epithets he had garnered for himself over the years. He wondered briefly where Carol might be and then dismissed her from his mind. Plenty of time to sort her out when this little lot was over.
He stared down at the stapler in his hand and grinned once more. He would staple her up once and for all. When he was finished with her no one would touch her with a barge pole. She was the cause of all his problems, he could see that now. Until he’d met her and fallen in love his life had been on course. But she had made him change that course and that was when it had gone wrong. It was what had made everything go so drastically wrong.
When he had sorted things out he would be back on track once more. Then Maura and Garry would see him as he really was, an asset to the business. They would understand that he had fucked up but that he could sort it. Inside he was OK. Inside he was a very astute man who could surmount any problems that came his way. He was as sure of that as he was sure of his own name. He would make Maura and Garry see him in the right light. See him as he saw himself and as others saw him. He would be a fit successor when the time came, take care of them all. His father, the family, even that ponce of a sister of his. He would kick the queerness out of that boy of hers as well, the fucking weirdo. Joey should have been taken in hand years ago. Once Benny was in charge he would sort it all out.
He was humming as he untied Radon and dragged him up to the bathroom. His day’s work was just beginning and he was a man with a mission. He was going to get to the truth and when he did he was going to go to Maura and Garry like a conquering hero. The thought cheered him up no end.
When Radon realised what the next step in Benny’s mad plan was going to be he tried to fight once more.
Benny sighed.
It occurred to him that being in charge was sometimes a very irritating business and his admiration for his aunt went up tenfold.
There was a lot more to being top dog than he had first realised.
Garry and his mother sat in the kitchen while Maura made them all some tea. As she poured the water into the pot it occurred to her that Sarah must have gone through tens of thousands of tea bags over the years. Now Maura was following in her footsteps as the Tea-drinking Queen of the South East. She was getting old, she knew that, and strangely she accepted it.
‘Roy will be here in a minute, put out another cup, Maws.’
She gritted her teeth and put out another cup and all the time she willed the phone to ring so Vic could give them a time and place for the meet. Once they met it would be all over, they could get on with their lives. Providing they were still alive, of course. Vic was not a man to be trusted. On that much at least she and Garry were in agreement.
She heard Roy’s voice as she poured out the tea.
‘He’s killed Casha and gone on the missing list with Dezzy. Kidnapped him in broad daylight, mind. In front of his mother and half of fucking Green Street. I will swing for that cunt, I take oath on it.’
Maura could hear her mother tutting. She had forgotten how irritating that sound could be.
‘Sure, Jasus, that fella is off his shagging rocker.’
‘Tell us something we don’t know, Mum.’
Garry took the laden tray from her and placed it none too gently on the table.
‘We can’t help him any more, you all realise that, don’t you? He will have to go on the missing list now. Spain, wherever.’
‘Wherever sounds good to me. Six foot under sounds better – I’m sick of him.’
Roy’s voice was low and no one answered him.
‘I am getting to the stage where I hate him. Absolutely hate my own son. And the more I hear about him, the more the feeling grows.’ He lit a cigarette from Maura’s packet and said in a guttural voice, ‘I bet he’s already killed Dezzy. I fucking bet you a pound to a penny he has already obliterated that poor little fucker.’
As Sarah listened she felt her heart racing. The family was falling apart before her. She could feel the fear in the room, knew that Roy was out of his mind with worry over his son, and that Maura and Garry were worried about Vic Joliff. Vic, who she had always liked and who had come to her home expressly to frighten them. She had been so pleased to see him, so very pleased to be remembered by him. And all the time he was using her.
It still hurt.
She only hoped they got this all out of the way soon so they could get back to normal. She had a bad feeling on her, that dragging feeling in her side she had had when her son Benny was murdered. She had woken up with it today and now felt that it was a warning of something terrible coming to the family she loved and hated equally.
Maura placed an arm round her mother’s shoulder and said gently, ‘All right there, Mum?’
She nodded and forced a smile.
‘’Course, child. Would you stop driving me mad with your questions?’
Her words came out sounding more annoyed than she had intended and she saw Roy and Garry staring at her quizzically.
‘You ain’t grassed us all up again, have you, Mum?’
Garry’s voice was jokey but the underlying question was there. Sarah was devastated at his words and it showed in her tired old face.
‘Leave it out, Garry. Haven’t you caused enough upset today?’
Maura hugged her mother.
‘Don’t listen to him, Mum, you know what a stroppy ponce he can be.’
Sarah stood up and left the room.
‘I hope you’re pleased with yourself, Gal.’
He shrugged and sipped his tea.
‘She’ll get over it, Maura.’
Roy looked on as his brother and sister faced up to one another.
‘Do you realise how old she is? Do you ever think about anyone or anything else other than yourself and your fucking appetite?’ Maura railed.
Garry was laughing and she knew it was to antagonise her.
‘Hark at you, Mrs Do As You Would Be Done By. Piss off! You don’t rule me, you never did. Neither did Michael, but he was too fucking dense to see it and all.’
Maura stared at him steadily.
‘Is that right? He was always decent to his mother, though. Pity you ain’t more like him really. At least he could see danger before it hit him in the face.’
Garry was still laughing.
‘Saw the IRA coming then, did he? How are they, Maws? Heard anything from your mates lately? Still good friends with them, are you, the people who murdered Saint Michael?’